Tender Affection

So I'm about to cosplay as Mello and I WILL NOT hac it, erg I hate that, I'm just a perfectionist tho, ah well, nee how, I don't care about price, any good sites fer Mello cosplay? OMFG, the con is in three months kay, so, I figure the whole weekend I'm gonna be DEMOLOSHING chocolate so I'm on a super hardcore diet so I don't burst out of the cosplay xD. Yester day I went running for three hours and I got new ipod music CHA (joggin, not like, armstrongin it) so I was suppose to go fer two an a half cause I didn't want to be all sore da next day, now I cant even move XDXDXDXD. = FAIL! I was Shikamaru last year so all I did was sit around for a week and I gained like 5 pounds cause all that's there is like pizza and poop! So, yea, that sucked, I LEARNED! I suppose I could totally sneak health bars instead of chocolate, I can go to that weird Indian organic place down the road…ok…done ranting

Its 3 a.m. I must be imagining it. There's no way, just no way Mello is… I heard it all the way from my room; I didn't think it was him though. I didn't really understand what it was, but it attracted me, and probed at my curiosity. It was so unfamiliar; I never heard anything like it before. It was weird to me. Maybe he was watching people fight on TV. It was most logical.

I heard this a few times before, but it was always at night like this, and it was always when we were left alone in the house, or when it was just him, Matt and I.

I pressed my ear to Mello's door trying to hear well. My intention was obliterated due to the stamina testing stairs. I held my breath to listen but that proved unsuccessful as well, my heart pounded out of my chest. I really need to get in shape.

I couldn't hear anything in the room but I hated the feeling it gave me. Was Matt in there with him? I haven't seen either of them all day. Why doesn't Mello hang out with me all the time like he does Matt. I mean I am older then him, and smarter, you'd think he would.

I don't like it when he spends all his time with Matt. I don't know why, but it makes me not feel good sometimes. Sometimes I get this weird pain in my chest. I can't explain it. But it's the exact opposite when he talks to me. He only says mean things but just knowing I have his attention makes me feel…better?

I think it's just because when he talks to me, he's not afraid to be mean. Everyone else is. Factually, I do blend in with the snow, but he's the only one that ridicules me for it. I've thought of a lot of clever responses…but I never used them. I always fret making him aggressive toward me, because then maybe he wont bump into me, or threaten me, or push me into things. He makes me look like an old banana sometimes. But that's okay, because when I look at the marks, I know there from him.

That's when I heard it. At first I thought he was hurt but before I barged threw the door I realized, it was not a distressed sound, it was the sound of amusement, but nothing I had ever heard before. It was Mello's voice I knew, and he was moaning.

I felt a rush through me and my stomach felt like it attacked me. I leaned on the door with such a great deal I had an ear ache later. I couldn't miss a sound. It was as sweet as candy but bitter as well. Bitter because it stopped so soon. I couldn't move away. I didn't want to neglect it if it happened again.

I closed me eyes and wondered what he was doing and what he was watching that made the same sounds he did. My hands planted on the door as if it somehow brought me closer. I could hear the squeaking of his bed and his breath, hitched and panting. What could he have done to wear him down so much?

I didn't register the approaching footsteps until the door opened and I almost fell in his room. Colliding with the ugly brown carpet I let out a distorted grunt, sounding much more feminine then I ever thought I was capable. It was down right mortifying.

Nothing could have prepared me for what I came to face. I scrambled to my feet as hastily as my body would permit, I felt wobbly already over thrown with humiliation.

We came face to face, him being much taller then me looking down, red as a rose. He didn't say anything and neither did I. He knew I was listening to him, who wouldn't, but the last thing he anticipated was a mini albino to tumble in his door.

The only thing I didn't understand was why he hadn't hit me yet or thrown me aside in rage. I looked away from him in the discomfort. The atmosphere was so heavy, after the simple look I ran. Turning the corner as fast as I could have without slipping I ran down the stairs and into my room slamming the door as if predator was after me.

In the safety of my room I let my embarrassment overflow me. I really did it this time. Mello was never going to even look at me anymore. Let alone touch me. Even if the only touch he gave was a closed fist on my arm, or his open hand on my shoulder. It was still his touch.

Sorrow over took me and I slid down my door in tears. When I hit the ground I pulled my knees as close to me as I could and buried my face in them. My chest felt heavy and my head hurt. I didn't like thinking about the loss of Mello's attention.

It seemed like I stayed there forever. Until the sun rose. And I fell asleep.

When I woke up it was already lunchtime and I was starving, but too afraid to leave my room. Everyone was back. I knew because I could hear the screaming of tag.

Gathering myself up I adjusted my clothes and smoothed out the ruffles, wiping away the over night tears, I opened the door. It was a straight line to the kitchen. Just there and back. No chance of running into Mello. He was on the other side of the house and didn't like people, so he would be in his room like always, doing…whatever it was he did.

Walking into the chaos I made my way to the kitchen. I never did understand why my room had to be directly linked from the 'playroom'. I liked quiet as much as Mello. No one stopped me, presumably because I had my game face on.

Thank god the kitchen was empty. I didn't feel like facing anybody at the moment.

Approaching the counter I grabbed a pear out of the fruit bowl, hurriedly making my way back to the kitchen door, but just before I got to it, it opened.

There he was in all his glory. Mello. Being trailed as always by his red haired lackey.

Carefully avoiding eye contact I tried to pass them, but Matt stopped me with his arm, blocking my way out.

"Why you in such a hurry?" He teased, nudging at Mello.

"Let him go…" Mello whispered and moved Matt out of the way. Matt and I exchanged confused facial expressions, and then we both looked at Mello. He wouldn't look at me; in fact he wouldn't look up at all. I took the chance and ran out of the kitchen into my room slamming the door as I did last night.

Did that really just happen? Mello was nice to me. He didn't take my food, or kick my shin, or mess my hair up. He didn't call me powder or snowflake or even give me that degrading look like he does.

Suddenly I wasn't hungry, I was concerned. What had I done to cause his sudden…submission?

There it was again at 3 a.m. and I sat alone in my room. Mello wasn't at dinner today, and I didn't see him around at all. At one point I even snuck passed his room. His door was closed and the lights were off. What was he doing in there all day.

Even though he hated me, I didn't hate him. I had to know he was okay. I don't remember where the sudden nerve came from but I walked threw the house in the dead of night all the way to his room, it was only then did I have my second thoughts.

What if he was sleeping and I wake him? Or maybe he was just sick today, or didn't like what we had for dinner. Or, maybe he just hated me like always.

After much self convincing I reached up and knocked on the door three times, and then I stood quiet.

I heard the shifting of bed springs almost immediately and his grumbling. "I said no Matt; I can't get in anymore trouble." He opened the door and stopped.

That was the first time I seen him like that. His hair was ravaged, like it had been in a war. His shirt was oversized and hung down more then necessary. Only to be complied by, with white boxers. I never had seen so much skin, ever.

Hopefully before he noticed I snapped back up to his face. He looked distressed.

"Do you need something?" He mumbled.

"I was just…wondering if you were sick?"

"No, I'm tired." He retorted in a derisive tone. He looked away from me and down to the floor. He knew what was next perhaps.

"So, why are you being…well, not Mello to me?"

He looked back up at me, confused and indecisive. "You mean you…didn't hear me?"

"Well I did, but I don't really know what you were doing, so whatever it was, like, was Matt telling you a secret or did you guys steal really good chocolate?"

"Matt wasn't with me." He started, squinting his eyes at me in slight perplexity still yet.

"Then, what were you doing?" I inquired.

"What do you think I was doing?" He mocked.

"Oh, well I don't know." I shrugged. "That's why I'm asking…and how come you haven't said a mean thing to me all day?"

Mello sighed and pulled me in by my shoulder, in a nice way that I didn't know Mello was capable of. Then he closed the door.

The only light in the room was the TV, and it smelled so much like him it was almost a dream. I didn't know what to do with myself so I grabbed a strand of hair and fiddled with it.

"Near…I want to show you something." Mello spoke, turning to me. I stayed silent and nodded slightly. He moved away from me and went to his dresser. Opening the top drawer he pulled something out from under his socks and hid it from me until he was in front of me.

After he looked down, and bit his lip, he almost shoved it at me. It was a piece of cardboard. I took it in confusion and looked over it, then flipped it over.

It was me, pictures of me, 20 or 30 of them, in a collage.

"I don't understand, what is this?" I asked, speaking slowly.

"Well, I mean clearly its pictures of you." He alleged, sarcastically.

"Yeah I know …that, but why do you have it?" I finished.

Mello didn't say anything, but he did something, something I hadn't felt in a long time. He grabbed onto me, and I was waiting to be hit, or pushed down, but all I felt was warmth. He was hugging me. His arms wrapped around my neck as for the reason that there was a five inch height gap he beat me at.

"M-Mello?" I mumbled, and he just squeezed me tighter. It had been a while sense I'd felt safe, and I just let him, because he made me feel that way. His arms were strong and they felt like they kept me secure.

That's when I found my arms wrapping around him as well. His hand traced its way down his my back then back up to my shoulder, and back down again.

"I don't understand." I whispered. "What's happening?"

"I'm hugging you snowflake."

"But, your always so mean to me, why this now?" I asked and he let go of me.

"If I'm going to tell it…I should tell it all…" He set his hands on my shoulders and looked into my eyes; the TV gave him a certain, secretiveness about him which made this more confusing, not fully seeing his face. "Near, the only reason I'm mean to you…is because…I…I dream about you sometimes and, there not the kind of dreams you tell people, so I started coming in your room at night, you look really peaceful when you sleeping…and what, what I'm trying to say is…I…love you." He quickly let me go and walked away into the corner of his room where he stayed quiet. "I just thought you should know."

"M-Mello, w-wait…I love you…too." I blurted.

He turned and walked toward me again, slowly this time. "What?"

"I love you too Mello."

I felt his hand touch my cheek, and he rested his palm against the side of my face. I leaned into it, liking the feel of him touching me. He stepped closer yet and closed the gap between our bodies, it made me gasp. I never felt someone so close. It roused up feelings I never knew I could feel. Then he closed the gap between our lips, and I almost lost my footing.

Sure I've seen people kissing before, but I never got it, not until now. The feel of another's breath on your cheek and nose, the heat that builds up around your mouth, the softness of lips, the electrifying stagger that almost brings you to your knees. The wetness of his tongue now rolling across my closed lips. I opened them.

His tongue intertwined with mine in a dance of fiery passion. My whole body felt like it was going to detonate. He brought up his other hand and held my face like a baby, running his thumbs over my cheeks. I hadn't realized I started crying but he did.

"Near, I want you." He breathed unto me.

"I don't understand." I returned.

Felt his hand wander down from my face to my shoulder. He kissed me again and rubbed at the muscle there, before going down the front of me to my chest and down passed my stomach where he faintly set his hand.

I finally understood it. The noises he was making, because I made the same one. I forced myself to him with out realizing my actions. It made him smile.

I couldn't help it, his hand just lightly moving over it, sent a raging tidal wave rushing threw me.

"Mello what's happening." I whimpered.

"You know what's happening." He whispered back to me.

"No…I've never felt anything like that before, ever."

Mello let go of me and backed away.

"Mello, that doesn't mean stop." I whined.

"Haven't you ever, you know."

"Know what?" I asked, moving back toward him again, I would have given anything for him to hold me longer.

"Played with it." He spoke, tilting his head, trying his best to sound mature.

"Why would I?"

His eyes widened and he kinda just…stopped breathing. "Well what do you do when it gets hard?"

"What?" I was flabbergasted. "Well it goes away I mean."

"You mean to tell me you've never…" He stayed silent a moment after, then he came toward me again and set his hands on my hips. He lightly pushed me back until my calves hit the wood of his bed and I fell back onto it.

Before I could register what was happening he climbed on top of me and propped himself up on all fours between my legs. His hair fell around his face like a curtain as he looked down at me. His eyes were deeper then usual and held a gloss while he looked over me in a way I didn't understand.

When he decided it was time to stop staring at me funny, he shifted his weight back to his legs and sat him self up. Reaching behind himself he lifted his shirt off his body and over his head, giving his hair a slight static that I didn't care to notice any longer. He threw his shirt on the floor and moved his hands up to the collar of mine.

"What are you doing?" I asked inaudibly.

"Trust me, close your eyes."

I did what he told me to and I felt my shirt coming undone one button at a time, until it was finally over. He pushed it open and I felt a cold rush of air sweep over my stomach and chest, it gave me goose bumps that he seemed to notice. I opened my eyes at the loss of warmth.

He reached over to the pile of pillows and such, removing his dark comforter he threw it over himself like a cape and draped it over me and he repositioned himself above me again.

He then took his weight off his legs and lowed himself down to me, bending his elbows to hold himself up, our bare chests and stomachs were touching all the way down to…

It made me moan again, to have so much pressure down there, and the feeling of his against mine. I never would have thought those things existed.

"Mello, please, do something to make it go away, anything." I begged, grinding myself against him, I needed it. I needed to feel the friction. I needed to feel something. Whatever I needed, I needed it now.

"Okay." He whispered. "Just lay back." He finished. "I've never done this before but…" He moved down. I didn't know what he was doing, so I guess it didn't matter, but I felt his hands find there way around the waist band of my pajamas. He started to pull them down.

"What are you doing?" I yelped and latched onto his hands.

"Trust me Near." He didn't move, rather look at me. I returned the look for a second as well before slowly letting up my grip and lying back again.

He pulled my pants and boxers off jointly, I closed my eyes again in shame and I flushed. I was going to ask him again, just what he was doing, but my throat was to dry for anything.

Nothing happened; there was this, just, dreadful ache down there. I have felt it before but never this bad. It hurt.

I finally decided to just sit back up, this was to weird, I felt moist warmth engulf me and my head fell back into the pillow, squeezing the fabric of the bed sheet with my hands. "Oh, Mello, Ahhh." I whimpered and gasped closing my eyes.

I didn't know what he was doing because I never looked down but I felt his tongue go back and forth and his lips… I couldn't open my eyes to look. Everything felt too good. All I could focus on was how good it did feel and the feeling of a pleading sense building up in me.
"Don't sop Mello, ahh." I don't know what he did but it made me jerk and through my hands down to him, I grabbed his hair out of fear he would stop and held him in place. The pleasure just got better and better and better until it started to hurt, but in a good way? It's hard to explain, this terribly desperate feeling. I was panting so uncontrollably I didn't realize my moans or how loud I was.

Finally, something snapped. My back arched and I fisted the sheets again as pure bliss took over me. Like tsunamis terrorizing within me and crashing on ocean basins. I moaned one after the other as I felt myself at last letting go of the frantic contentment. Everything seemed to sweep over me and I don't know what it was but it stopped too early. I moaned his name out at loud as I could of and when it at last was over I buckled and collapsed on the bed in a heaping pile of frenzied breathing and incessant groans.

"Huh, Mello, what…" I could only hold my head up for a second before I fell back down.

Mello looked up at me then moved over and lay down next to me, making sure I was under the blanket. It took me a little while before could gather myself but once I did I rolled to face him.

"What about you…" I whimpered and tugged at the front of his boxers.

He kissed my forehead and took my hand, guiding down the front of his underwear. I blushed to say the least and even more when he directed it over the part of him I never seen. Feeling the forbidden flesh make me feel all the more, dare I say naughty? I liked it…but…I didn't really know what to do. Mello seemed to know however.

Showing and leading my hand along his clandestine crisis, He spread his legs open a little wider and bent them at his knees. I got closer to him and laid my head down on his chest, feeling the heat of his side against my abdomen and other choice areas. Enabling myself further to make him feel the way he made me.

He appeared as gullible as I. Gasping and now running a hand through his hair. I must be doing something right. Building up more nerve prior to, I directed my own hand over him. Now with his other hand free he wrapped it around me, pulling me closer yet. Flushed again, looking up to his face then down as far as light would permit. I wished to watch the whole thing but the TV was limited and the blanket covered him, but I didn't want him to be cold.

"Hold on." He shifted slowly and struggled. I knew what he was doing and grasped the other side of his boxers, we pulled them down together. I giggled sheepishly as we did so. Then I quickly reached back down and grasped him, I couldn't wait. Stroking him up and down as he did to me with his mouth.

"Mmm, Near." He gasped and squeezed into my side. "Just like that." He mumbled and I did what he told me to.

Every minute or two he would reach down and take my hand gently, reminding me what to do and showing me new things. He was never mean about it and he spoke kind if he ever did say anything.

"Faster, Oh god Near, I'm about too…" Mello let out an imprisoned moan and dug harder into my side, almost ripping his hair out. "I can't hold it!" He gasped and started to moan, going into paroxysms and jerking, I kept going and going like he did for me, ignoring the things I felt on my hand because I recall the same happening to me.

When he finally stopped he told me so and I pulled my hand away.

"Ew, what is this?!" I almost shrieked and looked at the dripping goo all over my hand. Mello just chuckled looking up then resting his head again on a pillow.

"MEEELLLLOOOOOOO." I whined horrified looking at it.

"C'mon." He stood and pulled me up with him. His boxers were already back on. He looked over me one last time before grabbing my boxers, then he knelt down and put them on me like a baby. Lastly we walked in the hall and down it to the bathroom.

I watched Mello closed the door and locked it behind us. However I didn't focus too much on him as I was quick to wash my hands.

"Mello." I started when I finished drying them off. "Mello, I don't understand, what just happened, but it was really fun…is that what you do with Matt?"

"No…Near…I've never done it before either…well with anybody…" Mello stuttered, embarrassed and looking away from me

"Really?" I looked up to him hoping to get his eye again.

"Yeah…Near…I really do love you…I wasn't just, saying it…anyway…do you want to sleep with me, in my room…tonight…I don't want to impose I'm just." He looked back at me

Once I processed what he said to me I leached onto him. "Yes Mello, I want to stay with you forever!"

Mello looked into my eyes and echoed. "Forever."