Standard disclaimers. Not mine.
Warnings: angst, language, yaoi
Pairings: 2x3, 1x5, 3x4, past 1x3
The Road Not Taken
Part One
"You know what I need?"
"A bottle of wine and a pint of Ben and Jerry's?" Duo suggested.
Hilde, his roommate and best friend, glared at him.
It was Friday night, and per their custom for the past two years they were watching a movie together, at home on their couch. It had become a custom over the years because, invariably, they both jumped in and out of relationships every few weeks or months. Hilde had decided that no date with a 'future loser' was as important as spending Friday nights together and Duo had been forced to agree. Of all the girls he knew, none were quite like Hilde, and he was happy to schedule any dates around their standing Friday night tradition.
"No. I need to try something crazy, you know? I mean whatever the hell I'm doing isn't really working, is it?"
"Um… what exactly are we talking about?"
"I'm talking about the fact that Jeff was an asshole. And Steven was an asshole. And Tom was a douchbag and -"
"Oh. We're talking about your tragedy of a love life," Duo concluded.
"Yes. Obviously. What else would we talk about?" Hilde sighed and turned to him. "Seriously, though, Duo. Look at me. I'm awesome. I'm hot. I'm funny and smart and sexy and we both know I'm good in bed so why can't I find a decent guy?"
"Because every guy you've ever met is a pale imitation of me?" He offered.
She punched him.
"No, because every guy I meet has expectations about the Feminazi or he doesn't know I'm a Gender Studies doctoral candidate and turns out to be a misogynistic asshole anyway."
"So… is this you coming out to me as a lesbian? Because I would support you. Especially if you were interested in a threesome?"
She punched him again.
"No, Duo. This is not me coming out. I'm just trying to think, out loud. To myself since clearly you aren't any help at all."
Duo sighed.
"You're right. You meet guys who judge you on your looks or who know you by reputation. You need to figure out how to make sure they know what they're getting into before you go out with them. I mean, that's what I do."
Hilde gave him a look.
"I do," he said defensively. "I meet a girl and I tell her up front that I'm not interested in casual sex and I'm looking for the love of my life so we can raise a family of three kids and two dogs."
"I see you've gotten rid of the cat?"
Duo shrugged.
"Turns out kid number two is allergic. The point is, there are things I want to do in my life and I want someone to do those with me."
"Duo. You are aware that in the last three years you've had exactly two girl friends - and one of those is me."
"Yep."
Hilde sighed.
"I'm sorry, Duo."
He held up one hand.
"Don't be. You're the love of my life, Hilde, but you don't want children and I don't want to change a single thing about you." He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "So you're stuck with me as your best friend for the rest of your life instead."
"And Sylvia?" Hilde asked, forcing Duo to frown.
"Sylvia is great," he said slowly. "Just not… I don't know. She's great. She's fun."
"But?"
"But I… want someone that I can sit around with and talk to for hours about absolutely nothing, you know? I like spending time with Sylvia but… I don't want to spend the rest of my life with her."
"You are such a romantic, Duo," Hilde teased him.
"I know," he agreed with a sigh.
She leaned against him and he put an arm around her shoulders.
"Want to watch the series finale of How I Met Your Mother and scream at the tv again?" He offered, knowing it was the best way to get her out of a funk.
"Yes, please," she said.
It was two weeks and four terrible dates later when Hilde came home and threw a newspaper at him, upsetting the stack of essays he had been grading.
"I found it!" She exclaimed.
"Found what? Clearly not your sanity."
"Nope. The solution."
She bent down to help him collect the scattered essays and then spread the newspaper out in front of him.
"This is the classifieds section."
"Exactly. I'm going to put out an ad. That way, whoever I get will know what they are getting into."
"Uh huh."
"Don't uh huh me. What?"
Duo shrugged.
"No, no. I'm sure it's a brilliant idea. You'll find all kinds of really empathetic rapists and child molesters."
"Duo! Come on!"
"Hilde! Stop hitting me!" He warned her when she raised the newspaper. "Once a week or I'm going to have to get a restraining order."
"But I'm serious Duo. I can express who I am and what I'm interested in. It's not like I'm going to find people worse than Alex."
"No, probably not," Duo agreed, remembering Hilde's boyfriend from two years ago who hadn't understood that no really meant no until Duo had bodily thrown him out of the apartment and threatened to kill him.
"You know… you could do it with me…" Hilde suggested.
He arched an eyebrow at her.
"What?"
"Put out an ad. You never know. You might meet your soul mate."
"Or the guy who wants to cut me up and put me in his freezer."
Hilde shrugged.
"That's probably going to be the same person."
He glared at her.
"Come on. Just try it with me. You might be surprised."
She gave him her best pleading look and eventually Duo gave in.
"Fine," he said. " Let's put out classified ads inviting crazy people into our lives."
-o-
"You get that he isn't worth your time, right?"
Trowa looked over at Heero, but his friend was glaring out across the dark theatre to the action onstage. Specifically, he was glaring at the blond man cast as Hamlet, Quatre Winner, as he rehearsed the final scenes of the play scheduled to open in two nights.
"What do you mean?" Trowa asked, though he already knew what Heero was going to say.
"You know what I mean," Heero growled. "You've wasted how many years at the beck and call of Quatre's whims? Three? Four now?"
Trowa glared at him.
"I'm not wasting my time."
"Yes, you are. You could be in a relationship with someone - an actual relationship where you wake up next to the man you love instead of this."
"This?"
"Trowa. Come on. You and Quatre get together for a few nights every other month and then you don't hear from him until he's horny again. He's just using you for sex."
"There are worse things to be used for," Trowa mused. Especially when he considered just how good the sex with Quatre was.
"So that's all you want? Because I seem to remember dating a certain foolishly romantic scenic designer who wanted to find his soul mate and settle down to raise a family."
Trowa frowned.
"I was young and stupid then." He sighed. "But no, this isn't what I want. I just keep thinking he's going to realize that I'm here, waiting for him."
"Trowa, Quatre knows that. He's known that since the day you cheated on me with him years ago."
Trowa had to wince at the reminded of one of the worst things he had ever done.
"I'm sorry."
Heero shrugged. Their attention was momentarily drawn back to the stage when Wufei Chang, playing the role of Laertes, met his death.
"If you hadn't I never would have given Wufei a chance."
Trowa had to smile at that.
"And now look at you. Engaged and on your way to a brilliant future with the man you want to spend the rest of your life with."
Heero frowned.
"I want that for you, Trowa. You're my best friend. Sometimes I regret not trying to fight for you… but I never could compete with Quatre."
"Heero."
"Trowa. Get your head out of your ass. You turn thirty this year. Do you really want to be one of those thirty or forty year old gay men lurking around clubs, looking for a one night stand?"
Trowa scowled.
"That was unnecessarily harsh."
"No, it wasn't," Heero argued. "Wufei told me what happened last night."
Trowa sighed.
They were in final dress rehearsals for Hamlet, starring Quatre. Trowa had designed the scenery for the show and Heero the lights. After the rehearsal last night Heero had had to stay late to work on a few lighting cues, so Trowa and Wufei had gone to the bar across the street while he worked.
Quatre and the rest of the cast had been there as well as the director of the show, a hot shot from New York that Quatre had struck up an instant, intimate affair with. An affair that seemed to be drawing to a close as the show neared opening.
That night Quatre had joined Wufei, Trowa and Catharine Bloom, the costume designer, at their customary table in the back corner of the bar and suggested that Trowa wait around for him Wednesday night for a few hours after the opening night party - he wanted to say goodbye to James, the director, but after that he would probably want Trowa's company.
Trowa wasn't really surprised that Wufei had told Heero about it.
"I can't believe you said yes to him - he tells you that you are second best and you just accept it."
"It's not like I have a lot of other options, Heero," Trowa snapped.
Heero scowled.
"You would if you just opened your eyes and made an effort."
"What are you talking about?"
"If you just want to date an actor then ask out Rosencrantz and Guildenstern - they practically masterbate onstage whenever they see you."
Trowa rolled his eyes.
"I don't just want to date an actor. I want to be with someone who -"
"Who what?"
"Who makes me think of nothing else but them," Trowa finished lamely.
Heero nodded knowingly and shoved a newspaper in front of him.
"What's this?" Trowa asked.
"Just read the one I circled," Heero suggested.
Onstage everyone had just died, and the lights in the house came up just in time to allow Trowa to find a small box Heero had circled on the classified ads page.
Twenty three year old male seeking committed relationship. Must have an interest in hour long arguments about trivial information, a love of dogs and craft beers. Above all must be willing to speak what you feel, not what you ought to say.
-o-
On Friday night Hilde bailed on their standing date. Greg Clark had answered her ad in the classifieds and she had a good feeling about this one. This one, because the last seven guys who had called about the ad had turned out to be complete ass hats by Hilde's standards.
So it was that Duo found himself alone on Friday night, heating up a frozen meal and trying to figure out what wine paired best with Lean Cuisine when his phone rang.
"Hello?"
"Duo Maxwell?" The voice was pleasant, male and unfamiliar.
"That's me!" Duo wedged the phone between his shoulder and ear and picked up the wine bottle and a glass in one hand and the frozen meal in his other.
"I saw your ad in the classifieds."
"Oh - uh… Oh! Shit. I completely forgot about that." Duo had to chuckle. "I haven't even had any replies to it."
"I'm surprised, usually King Lear quotes are great pick up lines," the voice said in a dry, sarcastic tone that had Duo smirking in response.
"Yeah, I was thinking maybe I should go for Macbeth and 'nothing in his life became him like leaving it' but it didn't have quite the same ring."
The unfamiliar voice chuckled, a low, warm sound.
"Most people just don't appreciate Shakespeare as much as they ought to," the voice mused.
"Tell me about it," Duo groused. He set down his meal and poured a generous amount of wine into the glass before taking an equally generous sip. "I was grading these papers the other day and it just - it breaks my heart sometimes, to see how much kids these days love reality television and the celebutants and they don't understand that Shakespeare already invented all of this amazing drama four hundred years ago!"
"You're a teacher?"
"Oh, no. Graduate student - and I'm a TA for a few classes as part of my assistantship. And… you are?" Duo suddenly realized he still had no clue who he was talking to.
"Sorry. Trowa Barton."
"Oh, well, nice to talk to you, Trowa Barton. Is there a problem with the ad?"
"Not that I know of? Except that you don't seem to have had much followup."
"Oh, you're not with the paper? I guess I just assumed… sorry." Duo contemplated trying to eat and talk at the same time, but thought it best not to so he settled on drinking more instead.
"No, I'm not. I saw the Lear quote and was intrigued. Usually the classifieds are filled with measurements and physical descriptions - it's rare you see someone write anything that emotional or intellectual. I thought you would be interesting to talk to at least."
Duo found himself feeling pleased and embarrassed at the same time. The whole thing had been such a throwaway idea of Hilde's, but he had added the line in there just to put a bit of himself out there.
"Do you often search the classifieds for… intriguing conversations, Trowa?"
Another warm chuckle.
"No, actually. I didn't even find it - a friend of mine did and shoved the paper in my face in the middle of working on a project."
Duo had to laugh, thinking that Hilde would have done much the same to him - had done, many times in fact.
"What do you do? If I can ask?"
"I'm a scenic designer - freelance. I work around town and some out of state gigs."
"A scenic designer… like for theatre?" Duo tried to rack his brain and realized he didn't really know what that meant.
"I've done some television but mostly theatre, yes."
"Oh - well I guess that explains the love for Shakespeare."
"It does - and you? You said you were a graduate student? Literature?"
"Oh, no, history actually, but I finagled my way into a TA position on this Tudor History class so that is my current joy and exquisite pain."
"And do you take it out on them? One's pain is lessened by another's anguish?" Trowa asked, a teasing note to his voice as he quoted Shakespeare.
Duo laughed.
"No, I'm such a sucker, to be honest, and all I want is for the students to understand just how… infinitely beautiful the past can be, you know? So if I see even a glimmer of hope - I grade easier."
"And they don't take advantage of you?"
"Oh, hell yeah they do. I've got a reputation as being such a pushover."
Trowa chuckled and Duo found himself smiling at the sound.
"Tell me more about this scenic design thing. I'm sorry, I don't know much about theatre or… design."
"Well, every story has a setting, right?" Trowa said.
"Sure - long ago in a galaxy far, far away?"
"Just like that," Trowa agreed. "And the location - the setting - is as much a part of the story as the dialogue. It's my job to give the story a physical entity. I read a play, I talk to a director and I think about what the play is about - what it means, why it's important, where would make it more important. And I go from there."
Duo abandoned the frozen dinner and took the wine over to the couch. He poured himself another glass and settled back.
"Huh. That sounds… actually it sounds amazing. What was your favorite design?"
The conversation jumped off from there. Trowa spoke about his favorite designs and somehow that segued into their mutual love for the Yankees and baseball to why Duo was getting a PhD. in history.
Hilde's arrival home three hours later startled Duo mid-sentence.
"Hey," he greeted her reflexively.
"Hey," Trowa said, amused.
"Hi," Hilde responded, she looked tired but had a wide, satisfied smile on her face.
"Sorry, my roommate just got home," Duo told Trowa and then he realized what that meant. "Shit. It's after midnight. I had no idea, I'm sorry I -"
"Duo. It's fine," Trowa assured him, still sounding amused.
"Yeah, okay. Cool. But I should go."
Hilde was giving him a funny look and Duo gestured for her to give him a minute.
"I'm glad I called," Trowa said.
"Yeah, me too. Actually, do you want to grab drinks? Tomorrow? The Yankees game will be on and there's a good bar -"
"Sidebar?"
Duo had to smile. Of all the bars in Atlanta, they had been thinking of the same one.
"Yeah! Anyway, first pitch is just after eight…"
"Sounds good. I'll see you there."
Duo hung up and looked over at Hilde.
"Going on a date?" She asked him.
Duo shook his head.
"No. It's a guy - we're going to go hang out and watch the Yankees game tomorrow."
She smiled.
"Are you finally hanging out with the other TAs?"
Duo scowled.
"Hell no. No, Trowa saw my classified and thought it was amusing I used a Lear quote so he called."
Hilde arched an eyebrow.
"Really?"
Duo rolled his eyes.
"Yes, really. Other people read Shakespeare, you know."
"No, I'm sure they do, but…" she shrugged. "Well, you and your new bestie have fun."
Duo glared.
"Anyway, how did your actual date go?"
Hilde flopped down on the couch beside him and gave him a goofy grin.
"Amazing. He was great - smart and he complimented me on my laugh and didn't say anything about my physical appearance except that he liked my smile and he didn't hold open a single door for me and -"
"And you're totally in love. Jesus. Is this was a feminazi in love looks like?"
She punched his shoulder.
"Ow!"
"Don't call me that. Besides, I'm not in love. Just happy to have gone on a decent date with a decent guy."
"Uh huh. When are you seeing him again?"
"Lunch. Tomorrow."
Duo had to laugh.
"And he's moving in at the end of the week, right?"