Learning to Love Again

By Serena-chan

DISCLAIMER: I own nothing—applies to all chapters.

Summary: Will, after much soul-searching, decides that Jack is truly the one he loves and leaves Port Royal to join the Black Pearl's crew. Believing that the pirate will never return his affections, he is perfectly content just being near the one he loves. However, one night, while Jack is drunk, he inadvertently reveals to Will how his father, "Bootstrap" Bill Turner, was his old lover and broke his heart. Then, everything changes. (Takes place after Curse of the Black Pearl.)

Warnings: No sex, but there are definite hints at some sexual themes; nothing too gritty though.

Chapter 1: Drunken Ramblings

"Come along, Jack." Will Turner stumbled a little under Jack's weight, supporting him as he tried to help the drunk pirate captain to his cabin, leaving Gibbs to man the wheel.

It had been over a month since Will had left Port Royal to join the crew of the Black Pearl. He had never thought that he'd like being a pirate, but it must have been in his blood because he couldn't remember the last time he'd enjoyed life this much…although that may be due to the fact that he was spending his days serving under the man who had stolen his heart.

It had taken him a lot of soul searching to finally admit to himself that it was Jack he truly loved; not Elizabeth. So he had broken off their engagement and set sail for Tortuga, knowing that it was only a matter of time before Jack sailed into port, and he had been right. He'd only had to wait two weeks in the filthy pirate town before he caught sight of those black sails on the horizon.

Jack had been overjoyed to see him and had let him join the crew of the Pearl without asking too many questions. He knew Will would tell him what had happened with Elizabeth in his own time.

Will supposed that he would have to tell him someday…at least, part of the truth; that he'd fallen out of love with her. As for letting Jack know why that had happened…he didn't think he'd ever have the courage to let the older man know of his feelings for him. Jack, no matter how flamboyant he seemed, loved women (albeit whores, but women none the less) and had never been known to touch a male, even a male whore. So Will kept his feelings to himself, simply grateful that he had the opportunity to spend his days with Jack.

Life aboard the Pearl was a fairly simple one—once you learned the ropes, so to speak—interrupted occasionally by plunder and skirmishes with other pirate ships. Will had settled into the rhythm of things fairly easily. He was up with the dawn, helping the crew on deck before retiring to work in his forge that Jack had built for him below deck.

Jack had been delighted to have a blacksmith on board as it was a mark of distinction among pirate ships. Only a few had them, and Will's expert craftsmanship could prove to be nothing but useful.

At night, he would close down his forge and go up on deck with Jack and the rest of the crew. They had wonderful times in the evenings, telling stories and laughing with one another, but Will's favorite time was when most of the crew would retire or be playing cards on another deck, leaving Jack at the helm with Will beside him.

He and Jack would talk to one another then, and Will found himself telling the pirate things he'd never told anyone else. Jack, in turn, would lower his voice so that only Will and the waves of the Caribbean could hear, and tell of his past—his true past; not the one that he made up for everyone else's ears. Will felt privileged to be the one that Jack confided in. It showed that Jack cared for him, at least as a friend, and that was all that mattered to him.

Then, of course, there were the nights like this one, where Jack would get too drunk to steer and had to be put to bed. Before Will came onboard, the crew had had a hard time with Jack when he got like this, putting up a fight until sleep finally overtook him, but for some reason, the drunken captain would listen to Will. The young blacksmith was the only one who could handle him when he was stinking drunk, so Will was left with the thankless task of putting Jack to bed on nights like this.

"Ye know," Jack slurred as Will steered him into the captain's cabin, "ye look a lot like yer father, lad."

Jack had remarked on that more than once during the month he'd been on board. Will didn't mind though. His father had been a good man and handsome from what he could remember, and he felt proud at being compared to him.

"Do you need anything else, Jack?" Will asked, when he'd helped the older man into bed and tugged off his boots.

"Aye, more rum," Jack demanded.

"I think you've had enough," Will began delicately, but seeing Jack's disappointed face, he relented, heading for the rum cupboard. He couldn't deny Jack anything, especially not when he looked at him like that—in a way that tugged at his heartstrings.

Will handed Jack a bottle, and the pirate took a long swig of it before pouring a healthy amount into a glass. He handed the glass to Will, who raised his eyebrows.

"Can't expect me to drink all by meself, can ye?"

Will smiled, sipping the potent liquid slowly, feeling the burning travel down his throat. He'd grown…accustomed to the taste, although it was still a far stretch to say that he liked it.

Jack had once told him that the appeal of rum wasn't so much the taste as the 'effect.' He didn't doubt that as all the crew seemed to be happier when thoroughly drunk, but Will had never allowed himself to get that far into a bottle. He couldn't allow himself to lose control of his actions or else he might say or do something to ruin his friendship with Jack.

Soon, Jack slipped into a light slumber, and the bottle fell from his fingers, rolling across the floor. Will scooped it up before too much of the drink had spilled, placing it back in the cupboard for later.

He was just about to leave when he noticed that Jack was still lying on top of the covers, and he certainly didn't want his captain to get cold during the night. Taking an extra blanket from the dresser, he carefully spread it over the older man.

"Bill?" Jack's eyes were suddenly open.

"No, Jack, it's me," Will murmured softly. He could tell by the way Jack looked and spoke that he was still delirious with the drink. "Go to sleep."

"Bill, don't leave me!"

Jack's arms were suddenly around him, pulling him down to sit on the bed. Will struggled slightly in the iron-like grip, cursing himself for letting Jack have that other bottle of rum.

Jack had three levels of inebriation: drunk, very drunk, and completely out of his mind drunk. He had obviously reached the latter stage, and that could prove to be a very dangerous thing indeed. Jack was a little crazy, it was true, and when he had no semblance of control whatsoever…well, there was no telling what he might do.

"Jack," Will began in a soothing voice. "Jack, it's me, Will."

"William?" Jack looked slightly panicked for a moment before slurring, "No, Bill, I never touched him; jus' looked—I swear! I couldn't help it…he looks too much like you. Yer the only one I ever let touch me."

Jack took one of Will's hands and moved it down to his groin. Will stiffened at Jack's words, and his breath hitched when he realized where his hand was.

He had to get out of here. Jack didn't know what he was saying or doing. Will cursed out loud as he felt himself growing hard.

To his absolute horror, Jack noticed this and muttered, "See? Ye still want me…always knew I meant somethin' to ye…"

"Don't—" Will cried, cut off by Jack's warm hand cupping him through his breeches. He had to put a stop to this. Jack would hate him in the morning if he didn't.

"Jack, stop!" he said firmly, somehow managing to find his voice. Jack did stop, and suddenly Will saw unbearable pain in his eyes. "Jack…"

As a tear slid down the older man's cheek, Will found that he couldn't bear to see Jack in that kind of pain. Even though it probably wasn't the wisest thing to do, he reached out, pulling the pirate into his arms. Jack immediately snuggled up to him, burying his face in the smith's neck.

"I'm sorry, Bill," he mumbled. "I knew ye wouldn't want me after what I said to ye…I'm sorry…"

"What did you say to me, Jack?" Will asked, playing along to try and soothe the shaking captain.

"Said I luved ye…said I wanted t' be more than jus' a substitute fer yer wife while we're at sea…"

Will froze. No, this couldn't be happening. This was all just some of Jack's mad ravings…wasn't it?

"I—I'll let you sleep now, Jack," Will stuttered. "Why don't we talk about this in the morning?"

"Stay with me," Jack pleaded. "Please, just give me one more night with you."

Will was trembling with arousal and confusion. He had to get out of there before he lost control and did as Jack asked. He'd wanted this man so badly that he wasn't sure if he'd be able to resist such temptation much longer.

He began to pull away from the pirate, shaking his head, but Jack grabbed onto his arm, clinging on to him like a life line and pleading, "Just sleep next to me, then; nothin' else. Please…show me you forgive me…"

Slowly, after deciding that this was the only way Jack would sleep, he reclined on the bed, trying to relax. Jack pulled Will's arms around him, practically lying on top of him, and tucked his head beneath Will's chin.

Jack's voice was heavy with sleep and his drunkenness as he mumbled, "I'm sorry about William…didn't mean to fall in luv with him, Bill—I swear I didn't…won't touch him though…promise…"

Will lay awake next to the slumbering man for the rest of the night, his mind racing.