Here is my try at Pride and Prejudice modern style, I know, I know, not very original but I love the book so I shall pay my respects to it and its amazing author Jane Austen.
The extraordinary circumstances what happen to pull everyone together otherwise known as the beginning. The Bennett's of this story.
Meryton in Hertfordshire that peaceful idyllic place not too far from London but not close enough to see smog. Where birds chirped peacefully and cats and dogs got on like a house on fire. The green hills what stretch for miles with a lone horse drawn carriage on the country road.
Disillusioned. Gullible. Naïve. Living under a rock.
You are if you believe that description, well maybe in the 1800's with a swooning Elizabeth Bennett and a bigoted Mr. Darcy running around the place but not today. We are in the glorious millennium of 2010. Yep, so I bet you can guess what it's like now. A million and one flats with rubbish piling high on the street corners, because the bin men are on strike. Again. If it's not the bin men it's the postmen and if not them it's the teachers. I wish the teachers were on strike but no they chose to come back today so our glorious two weeks of no school have been cut short and the teachers will probably expect us to have studied during that time. And they say there human?
Well since where sitting in a thousand car pileup on the motorway, at the back end of summer, did I mention the leather seats which are burning my legs. Why did I wear a skirt, Oh yeah it's boiling yet I'm getting burnt by dead cow. Fun. I should tell you about myself. You should note sarcasm, my sarcasm is like a Ninja, attacks you in surprise.
I am Elizabeth Collins. I know such an old name. The English teacher loves it. He lived during caveman times, and every time he says my name he mentions Pride and Prejudice, every single time. I have no idea why, something about irony or shadowing, I turn of when he starts sweating, when he gets excited about my name he sweats, it's a bit creepy. Another clincher is I actually do have five sisters well I prefer to think of them as aliens who are just residing with me. I am the second oldest, my last year of 6th form, well I finished last year as I'm now 19 but I had an extra year to prepare me for Oxford or Cambridge. I finish in about 12 weeks. The eldest is lovely Jane Collins. She left school two years ago, wonderful with children; she's training to be a special needs teacher. I do not understand why she wouldn't want a gap year she charged straight into university. The next daughter is Mary who is 18. Mary is quite, the others all call her boring, I must agree I do too, but she'll probably astound us, she might be the plainest but the one who is actually going to do well. Catherine, I believe she goes to school but she is hardly there, she is 17 and still has another year. The youngest is Lucy at sweet 16; I don't think she even knows what a school is for. She is more interested in boys, well men; really; most of her boyfriends are a decade older than herself. Lucy is the leader of Catherine. Why the girl follows such a silly thing I will never know. So my sisters or aliens that's them in a nutshell. Most of them are in the Hummer as well save Jane. Cathy and Lucy are squabbling about who's bag is whose, how they can mix them up when one is purple and the other orange is a question I have to ask God almost daily, he doesn't know either. I put it down to them being silly, silly girls. Mary is flicking through her play book. Not a largely known fact that she is a wonderful actor. I personally think her silly slutty girl parts are very life like; I can defiantly see a lot of Lucy in those performances.
My mother, well apparently she was an American Beauty queen, Nope, not Miss Congeniality, wish she was, girl power. My mother was one of those dolls with more plastic on them then in the landfill. "I wish for world peace and handbags for the poor." Silly fake voice and all. She is 39; she had Jane when she was 18. She had been married to my father for a year then; you may ask why because my father to put it kindly has seen the other end of his midlife crises and is just shy of 50. Well he is very rich, a lawyer, THE lawyer, his cliental is celebs and politicians.
Finally we are moving, or not. False alarm the car in front moved about an inch, I know we was excited too. Not for school to get off this seat. Looks like where going to be late joy. I have drama first too, double joy. I hate drama.