Authors notes
My war paint is Sharpie ink
I was listening to Kimya Dawson's 'Loose Lips' and the line 'My war paint is Sharpie Ink' stood out and reminded me of all the Sharpie antic's my friends and I get up to. It's just a little whimsical one shot that will hopefully make you smile :)
Thanks to Alex for the phrase 'scantily clad' :') only you would use that phrase in everyday conversation! :)
Thanks to my beta 'Nyxthewolf' who has had to cope with a near overwhelming demand of my stories recently since I decided to start writing properly again :)
Disclaimer
I don't own any of the Harry Potter series, all the glory belongs to and I am making no profit from this fan fiction, it's for entertainment purposes only.
After the war, few 7th year students returned to Hogwarts to re-do their final year. Many had decided to go straight into work or needed the time to mourn and recuperate; though a select couple choose return and join the new 8th year.
Among this group were Hermione Granger and Draco Malfoy.
They'd both been given the title of prefect and with that honour they had decided for the rest of Hogwarts and themselves, to let the past be the past.
So in front of the whole great hall they announced that all student prejudices would be abandoned, held hands and vowed to stick to that promise as well. Though that didn't stop them having arguments and tormenting each other, nor did it stop house competitiveness for points or in Quidditch tournaments.
One thing that did come of Hermione and Draco's reign was their pranks. No one really knew who started it but they became legendary - the students loved it and even the teachers enjoyed it, so no points where ever deducted and sometimes a few were even given if the prank was deemed worthy.
Draco had dyed Hermione's hair Barbie-doll bleach blonde that couldn't fade or be dyed over for a week, so she retaliated by giving him a hair-curling potion that had lasted a whole month.
The Slytherin had even put a spell on Hermione so she'd have a fear of wands and the colour red. She had been excused from all of classes and given a room without the Gryffindor colours until the effects wore off. This took roughly three days, during which Hermione would burst into hysterical screams whenever a fellow Gryffindor would come to see her. So the bushy haired book worm had given Draco a potion which created intense love or a passionate desire to burst into love ballads every time a house-name was said - much to his embarrassment when he serenaded the whole Great Hall at breakfast (after ingesting the potion in his morning pumpkin juice) with a rather hilarious renditions of 'Hit me baby one more time',' Tragedy','9-5' and various other songs throughout the day.
As revenge he'd slipped her a potion which made her boobs grow to an unnaturally huge size; it had taken Madame Pomphrey a week to brew the counter potion and the weeks' worth of wolf whistles and stares made Hermione crimson for the whole week after.
He'd then stolen her clothes and towel when she was in the prefect's bathroom so she'd had to run through the student filled halls (who'd been told to be there by a certain blonde haired Slytherin) in a scantily clad shower curtain, much to her horror. So she'd charmed all of his clothes so when he wore them they'd become skin tight gold spandex and be covered in red and gold sparkly sequins that glittered like a disco ball in all lights.
Towards the end of the year one of the most memorable was when Draco managed to take a very un-flattering picture of Hermione, blow it up to an enormous size and place it all about the halls of Hogwarts and classrooms. It depicted an unaware Hermione dressed in holey sweats, a baggy t-shirt and her hair in the most wildly tangled mane known to man whilst she was gorging herself on ice cream in the kitchens, covered in chocolate sauce and sprinkles, which where all over her mouth and clothes. The picture was made several times worse by the fact it was magical so it was basically a small motion picture of Hermione repeatedly stuffing her face with the ice cream and some dribbling down her chin.
Hermione had nearly hexed him to Nurmengard that day, she never did live it down but tried to take it in her stride and laughed when a few students dressed up as her for the Halloween ball though her cheeks burned with humiliation. She secretly began planning her revenge.
She waited just long enough so that Draco was constantly on edge, which was enough to make her and the student body laugh on its own as Draco was flinching and yelping at any quick movements or sudden noises. He also became extremely careful about what he ate. Hermione waited just a little bit longer despite her itching need for revenge and waited till he eventually assumed she'd called a secret surrender or was busy with studies.
On one of the last weeks of the year, the day before the leaver's ceremony in the halls there was a massive party to which all were invited. The returning 7th years or 8th years where given the privilege of drinking alcohol as long as none of the younger years got sneaky sips. Everyone was merry and joyous, and most if not all of the 8th years were drunk. Hermione had gotten fairly drunk from a few firewhiskeys and had kissed Filch on the cheek, were as Draco had taken to a suit of armour and was snogging it quite passionately. Both of them had drunkenly waltzed together across the table, Draco had attempted to dip the stumbling Hermione and they'd both fallen onto the table sending food flying everywhere- much to everyone's amusement.
Later that evening Draco had stripped off to just his underpants whilst claiming he was 'too damn sexy for clothes' and had fallen unconscious on the prefect common room couch. It was then Hermione put her plan into action...
The following morning Draco woke with a banging headache, carefully opening his eyes to see a levitating note. He blinked twice to focus his bleary eyes and read-
My war paint is Sharpie Ink
Draco frowned and then he recognised the hand writing. Granger.
What was sharpie? He thought absently, he made move to snatch the note from the air when he noticed his arm was almost completely black. He gasped in horror as he took in a quick glance at the rest of his body.
He ran to the mirror, and found he had a replica drawing of Harry Potter's scar and glasses, a rather dashing moustache, several well drawn moles, some earrings and a goatee. He took in the rest of his body and saw that he was wearing a beautifully drawn on tuxedo, complete with a bow tie, a pocket handkerchief and even drawn-on shoes. He pulled out his underpants to check and fortunately she's only coloured to the boxer line, his relief was ruined and Draco felt sick as he turned to see his back, it was almost completely black but there was a massive drawn-on sign which read:
Hermione Granger wins
Draco couldn't help but smirk as he grabbed his wand from its place on the floor by the couch and cast scourgify, but nothing changed. He continued to say the spell, his wand movement becoming more and more frantic as it failed to remove the pen.
'Alright Granger, how do I get this off?' Draco called knowing she'd be watching his panic from somewhere.
True to form she stepped out from her darkened stairwell, a glint of mischief and pure glee glittering in her brown eyes. 'It's sharpie Malfoy, you won't figure out how, you'll have to wait till it fades…' she laughed, 'I give it a week' she said laughing again then headed to the door to the halls before pausing 'oh and by the way...it'll show through your clothes…' she said, holding in hysterical giggles that Draco only noticed she was concealing by the shaking of her shoulders.
'What?' he said darkly, as he looked in the mirror at his doodled clothes and accessories.
'Just be glad I let you keep your underpants' she quipped as she strode from the room. Draco growled and stormed to his room finding that Hermione had told the truth and no matter how many layers he'd put on they'd turn invisible and show his skin masterpiece and she was also right in the fact that no matter what spell he used the ink wouldn't fade even a shade. Thank Merlin she let me keep the underpants.
So after much mental debate Draco knew he'd been outsmarted and knew he'd have to go at some point, so he swallowed a lot of his pride and swaggered out onto the stairwell balcony. All the students burst into hysterics, a passing Professor Flitwick couldn't help but let out a shuddering laugh and so did every other person that saw him that day. When Draco entered the Great Hall he turned to where Hermione was seated and gave her an almighty salute and a graceful bow before turning and gesturing to the sign on his back in defeat. The whole hall laughed and cheered as Hermione stood and took a bow before McGonagall's smirking form quietened everyone for the end of year speeches.
Hermione received 10 house points for her final prank and Draco received 10 for being a good sport which meant the house cup was awarded dually to Slytherin and Gryffindor for the first time since Hogwarts began. The mixture of green and red decorations entwined made the two prefects smile and they took the stage.
Hermione with the flick of her wand restored Draco to his usual form with a wink and told everyone it can removed by nail varnish removing spell and Draco gave a sigh of relief as his usual Slytherin robes became visible again.
Everyone laughed including the duo and once it quietened down they began their speech.
They thanked all the teachers for everything, for putting up with them for an extra year and for working so hard to keep Hogwarts open despite everything working against them and allowing those in their last year to return. They thanked all the students for making their final year great and congratulated both houses on their win as well as everyone for giving up the prejudices that plagued the school for so many years and said how they hoped it would stay this way.
So with that they announced the new prefects, congratulated them, shook their hands and presented each of them with a sharpie and told them with a wink to carry on their legacy. So as the new prefects returned to their seats, Draco and Hermione shook each other's hands then hugged, took a bow and laughed as the whole great hall burst into applause.
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Please review, good or bad, it makes my day :)
Read long and prosper,
RandomReggie
:)