AUTHOR"S NOTE:  This is my idea completely, with the help of JK Rowling.  It was a piece that I had to do for English GCSE and I thought why not put it in my fanfiction portfolio…. So here it is.  Please please please read the piece carefully and give me constructive criticisms.  I will definitely appreciate them if they can help me to make this better. Thank you very much. The Capulet

PS: THIS IS A ONE-OFF. I WILL CONSIDER DOING BITS OF HP IN THIS STYLE IF REQUESTED!!!!

Shout outs: no one in particular.

Perspicacity: the insight into several minds

The exploitation of the unpopular Snivellus Snape was a daily self-indulgence for the Marauders, especially me.  By the end of the fifth year, this ritual had become more of an addiction.  One of the incidents occurred after the 'Defence Against Dark Arts' Ordinary Wizarding Level exam.

'I'm bored,' said Sirius lazily, flipping back his long hair, 'Wish it was full moon.' 

 I scanned the horizon, looking for an unfortunate scapegoat, anyone to jinx or put a hex on.  Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted the ultimate jackpot, the golden Snitch of the prey ––    

'This'll liven you up, Padfoot,' I said quietly, nudging Sirius who lay sprawled on the grass, 'Look who it is…'

'Excellent choice, James,' said Sirius, a malevolent smile forming in the corners of his mouth, 'Snivellus.'

A quick glance at the faint frown on Lupin's forehead was enough to discern what he thought of what I was going to do.  I avoided catching Moony's eye; he was improving his reproachful guilt factor look.

*                       *

'All right, Snivellus?' sneered James loudly, getting to his feet simultaneously with Sirius.  Peter remained sitting by my side, watching them with pathetic eagerness.

The cold Prefect badge brushed my hand as I turned the page of the Transfiguration textbook.  I opened my mouth, intending to tell James and Sirius to lay off Snape, just this once, but knowing them, I knew that they would just disregard what I said and continue teasing him anyway.  Besides, James would have treated me like some crazy old nutter from St Mungo's if I ever decided to stick up for Snape.

*                       *

I reached for my wand as fast as I could, dropping my bag as I did so, knowing from experience that the arrogant Potter and his sidekick Black would strike without warning.

'EXPELLIARMUS!' yelled Potter.  The wand instantly whipped out of my hand, leaving me helplessly unarmed. 

'IMPEDIMENTA!' bellowed Black as soon as my wand thudded on the ground.  This was a replay of my last attack, with Potter doing the disarming, and Black finishing the job with a jinx or curse.

'Cowards,' I mouthed, but no words came out.  The force of the Impediment Jinx was very strong, forcing me backwards onto the summer-baked grass.  Relentless frustration at the injustice of my tormentors spun around me; just because they were better at Quidditch, and considered 'cool' by everyone at Hogwarts, they slacked around in class but they got top grades anyway, they were labelled clever by just about every teacher in school.  They had all the popularity they could wish for.

'How'd the exam go, Snivelly?' said Potter, emphasizing the hateful name.

'I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,' said Black, obviously enjoying the taunting.  'There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word.' 

Black had enough malice in him to qualify as a Slytherin yet he had been placed in Gryffindor despite his family tradition of being placed in Slytherin House.  The worst part of the taunting was that I could not contradict; my skin was undoubtedly greasy, even with the secret medication that I received from Madam Pomfrey.  Retaliation was the only weapon that I had, but the jinx was still in operation, invisible bonds were binding me, making any kind of movement impossible.  I glared at Potter with the purest and utmost loathing, hating him even more than I already did. 

*                       *

'You – wait,' said Snivelly, catching his breath, his contempt for James channelled into one solid glare, his sallow face white with rage, 'you – wait.'

'Wait for what?' I said coolly, my words dripping with a mixture of sarcasm and haughtiness.  Did Snape honestly expect to jinx us when he was tied up, outnumbered, wandless?

'What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?'

A flow of foul and filthy phraseology escaped Snape's mouth.  He muttered all sorts of spells and curses, which were a useless waste of breath as his wand was at least ten feet away from him. 

'Tsk, tsk, tsk,' I said, mocking the professors, 'Snivellus Snape.  Your use of, er, what is the word? Oh yes, crude language.  Your use of crude language is most upsetting.  Twenty points from Slytherin.' 

Snape struggled to speak.  When he did, the look of loathing directed at me was equal to the glare received by James. 

'You can't,' said Snape, spitting the words out in the smoothest voice that he could compose, 'unfortunately for you, Black, you're not entitled to the Prefect privileges,' (his voice dropped into a low triumphant hiss), 'so you can't dock points from me.'

Snivelly's brain really wasn't functioning very well today, surely he wasn't as thick so as not to realise that a Prefect was my friend? 

'You can wipe that smirk off your face, Snivellus, because Lupin, who's reading the book over there,' (I pointed my finger in Moony's direction) 'can!'     

*                       *

'Wash out your mouth,' commanded a cold, supercilious voice, which I recognized as belonging to the leader of a group of the most big headed boys in the school, 'Scourgify.'

James Potter was undoubtedly terrorizing one of his victims again, probably Severus Snape, who had been the target of his assaults for months. 

'Don't, Lily,' pleaded Katie anxiously, poking me with her wand; 'you know that you're asking for trouble if you go near Potter.'

I ignored Katie's hypocritical warning and started to stride over to the scene.  On Valentine's Day, she had been the one to send a dozen enchanted love talk cards 'to her darling James' all of which had ended up in the Gryffindor common room fire. 

*                       *

Pink bubbles cascaded from Snape's mouth, successfully asphyxiating him.  I had always used the spell to wash the dishes before, this was the first attempt at scourgifying a human not that Snape was much of a human anyway.  The sound of Snape slowly strangulating however was solid proof that this could be used for other people who further irked me. 

'Leave him ALONE!'

Someone was protesting against the strangulation of Snape? Someone was actually protesting?  Rewind, why would anyone protest?  I thought that Snape was one of the most unpopular people in the whole school.  Unless the protestor was a Slytherin.  My hand instinctively leaped up to ruffle my hair, making it untidier than it already was.  It was Evans.   Good thing I had made my hair messy.  It was sure to impress.

*                       *

'All right, Evans?' asked Potter, changing the snide attitude of his voice into a more mature, courteous tone which appealed to his female admirers.  Contrary to me, Potter treated the Mudblood with respect. 

'Leave him alone,' said the Mudblood Evans firmly; looking at Potter with distaste, 'What's he done to you?'

'Well,' said Potter, impertinently winking at Evans, repulsively flirting with the Mudblood, and deliberately enunciating every word, 'it's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean…'

My eyes darted to and fro: Potter, Evans, Potter, Evans, not knowing which person to hate more.  Was it Potter for being so pompous?  Or was it Evans, fighting Potter for me?  My blood boiled at the thought of this Mudblood girl arguing my case.

'You think you're funny, don't you,' retorted Evans icily, indicating the audience who had been snickering at me, 'when actually, you're just an arrogant, bullying toe rag, Potter.  Leave him alone.'

*                       *

'I will, if you go out with me, Evans,' said James rapidly, 'go on… go out with me,' (his voice steadily becoming louder and confident), 'and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.' 

I glanced at Snape, then turned back to face Evans with James.

'I wouldn't go out with you, if it was a choice between you and the giant squid,' snapped Evans hotly.

'Bad luck, Prongs,' I said briskly, recalling the number of times that James had said that he wanted to go out with Lily.  I turned to see what Snivelly was up to; the wand was within reach of his fingers…

'OI!' I roared, hoping to scare him senseless, but it was too late.  A streak of red light shot out from the wand, laser like, and a slash appeared on James's cheek, blood spurting onto his robes and the yellowing grass.

*                                                                      *

A flash of white light signalled James's quick perceptive reaction, with the same speed as his reflexes when catching the snitch.  Gazing at James with admiration, I laughed shrilly at the sight of Snape being turned upside-down in the air, his robes blooming over his head to reveal skinny legs that looked like they had never been exposed to the sun, and a pair of salt-and-pepper coloured underpants.  I looked sideways at Moony, still intensely revising Transfiguration, and then I turned to Prongs and Padfoot, searching for permission to laugh.  The almost non-existent nod from Padfoot was the signal; at this everyone, including the small crowd that had gathered were holding their sides, some of them exploding and rolling on the ground uncontrollably. 

The sides of Lily's mouth twitched as if to laugh, but suppressing her beautiful smile with great difficulty, said, 'Let him down.'

*                                                                      *

'Certainly,' I heard James say with an air of a polite gentleman.  Lifting my eyes from the Transfiguration textbook, I saw James flick the wand upwards, flipping Snape the right way up.  He fell into a dishevelled heap on the ground with a thump.  Freeing himself from his tangled robes, he stood up, with his wand in a defensive position, but Sirius fired a Petrificus Totalus curse at Snape, causing him to straighten up as rigid as a panel of wood and fall back on the ground. 

Lily had an expression of exasperation on her face.

'LEAVE HIM ALONE!' she shouted, brandishing her wand.  James and Sirius observed her cautiously as she had a reputation of having a sharp aim.  This added with her extensive knowledge of spells, curses and jinxes made her a very harmful opponent. 

'Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you,' said James, putting on his reluctant voice. 

'Take the curse off him then!'

Lily was pointing her wand at James's face.  With a deep regretful sigh, James turned to Snape and muttered the counter-curse.

'There you go,' he said, as Snape stumbled to his feet, his face angry.  'You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus – '  

*                       *

'I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!' said Snape furiously.

I blinked with amazement.  I was the one who had saved Snape from being further humiliated by that conceited James Potter, not some Slytherin House member, and this was all the appreciation shown to me? 

'Fine,' I said in a chilly tone, now more than willing to hurt Snape for daring to call me a Mudblood, 'fine.  I won't bother in future.  And I'd wash my pants if I were you, Snivellus.' 

I turned to walk away, not caring whether Snape got beaten up or hexed again. 

'Apologise to Evans!' roared Potter so loudly that some of the revising groups on the other side of the lake were starting to look at him. 

'I don't want you to make him apologise!' I shouted, equally loudly, making more people look around at the scene, 'You're as bad as he is!'      

*                       *

'What?' This girl had her priorities wrong!  What had I done that had made her go against me? 'I'd NEVER call you a – a – you-know-what!'

'Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you just got off your broomstick,' (she didn't like that? I thought everybody liked that…), 'showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down the corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can – I'm surprised that broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it.  You make me SICK!'

She turned on her heel, leaving my jaw wide open, feeling flabbergasted at what she had just said.  I had never shown off with that stupid Snitch, I suppose that she always saw Wormtail wetting himself with excitement when I was practicing my Snitch catching reflexes. 

'Evans!' I yelled, hoping that she would come back, 'Hey, EVANS!'

But she turned a deaf ear on me and didn't even look back.

*                       *

'What is it with her?' asked James, lamely, looking around at everyone, daring them to speak. 

'Reading between the lines, I'd say she thinks you're a bit conceited, mate,' said Sirius in a sympathetic voice.  Wormtail nodded, somewhat reluctantly in agreement, afraid of angering James.  I glanced at Snape, who opened his mouth, sniggering.

'Well, that's hardly surprising,' he drawled.

'Right,' said James, furiously, glaring at Snape and Sirius, 'right – '

A flash of light, now an orange colour, came from James's wand, and Snape was hanging upside down in the air once again. 

'Who wants to see me take off Snivelly's pants?' asked James, grinning evilly like a bobcat. 

I looked at my watch, catching a glimpse of my Prefect badge, a reminder of my duties and responsibilities.  The decision was mine, to defend Snape and fulfil my Prefect status or risk temporary insanity in the eyes of my friends? 

James muttered a spell which none of us had come across before.  In an instant, the salt-and-pepper coloured underpants were off Snape, dancing madly in the air. 

'What is the meaning of this?' said a deep voice.  'Release Severus at once, James, please, and give him back his underwear.' 

I turned around, with a sigh of relief.  Professor Dumbledore, the Transfiguration professor, had arrived.  One of the Slytherins stood behind the professor, smiling triumphantly at James, and sympathetically at Snape. 

'What happened here?' Professor Dumbledore asked James, the usual twinkle in his eyes replaced by disappointment.  James looked at the professor with a sullen eye, refusing to speak. 

'Get back to your common rooms please, everyone,' commanded Dumbledore calmly, 'James, Severus, follow me.'

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