There are many things in this world that Adolin Kholin doesn't understand, even now in his second year of university. One, the intricacies of the stock market. Two, how to decide on a primary weapon in the case of a zombie apocalypse when there are so many good options. Three, the physics problem set due next week.
And four, his roommate, one Kaladin Stormblessed.
The dude is just… perpetually grumpy. And he doesn't talk much. It's not that he's a bad roommate—he keeps everything neat and organized, takes out the trash without complaint when it's his turn, and isn't loud at all—it's just that sometimes Adolin feels like he hates him. Or, no, he just hates people, fun, and nice things in general. Honestly, he wouldn't be entirely surprised if he got back from history discussion (his last class of the day on Tuesdays and Thursdays) and found him listening to My Chemical Romance or Evanescence and wearing thick, dark eyeliner or something.
(Renarin laughed long and hard when Adolin told him that, over the phone last week. The memory still makes him grin wryly to himself as he walks back across campus toward the dormitory.)
Leaves crunch underfoot as he takes the shortcut across Taln Square, the big grassy field in the middle of campus. It's on a slight hill, with trees dotting the upper side of the slope, and a small fountain at the lower end; the Square is the most common site for campus activities and festivals and whatnot. On warmer days, it's also many students' favorite spot to sit and read or study or play Frisbee or anything, really.
"I should've gotten a hot chocolate before leaving," Adolin mutters to himself as the wind picks up, sending his scarf flapping. There was a café along his route, back near the building where he has his physics lectures, but like an idiot he figured he was fine and could just walk the mile back to his dorm, no sweat.
Well. Hah. No sweat, all right. Dammit, it's cold.
In his pocket, his phone buzzes, and he fishes it out with half-frozen fingers. It's a text from Renarin.
renren: How did lunch go?
Adolin freezes.
"Shit!"
The hissed expletive is loud enough that a fellow student passing by looks at him with a mixture of bewilderment and sympathy, but he doesn't pay her more than a passing glance. What's the time—oh, as if it's anywhere near lunchtime. It's past five. That's when his physics lecture lets out. And under Renarin's text are three missed calls from Danlan. Shit shit shit shit.
He blows out a breath, runs his hand through his hair agitatedly, and composes a text to his brother.
adolin: well
adolin: actually
adolin: i have decided to take a break from dating for a while
Then he stuffs his phone back into the depths of his jacket pocket and keeps walking, narrowing his eyes against the wind as it blows into his face. Storming wind and storming lunch dates and storming finals week, coming up in just two weeks… ugh.
When he reaches the sidewalk and has to wait for traffic to pass before crossing the street, he checks his phone again.
renren: …you forgot, didn't you.
adolin: ive been BUSY! at noon i was actually in the library studying for my philosophy final!
The traffic light is red and the blinky hand has turned into a walk light when he looks up again, though as he starts to walk it starts blinking again, indicating that it's about to change back, so he picks up the pace and jogs across the street. Renarin's already judging him for missing the date with Danlan, there's no need to add "I was too busy texting and got hit by a car" to the list of things for his brother to tease him about. It's already long enough, thanks Renarin.
Once he's on a straight stretch of sidewalk, he pulls out the phone again, glancing up every now and then to make sure he isn't about to walk into a pole or anything.
renren: Haha I find it kind of funny that I remembered you had a date today and you didn't.
renren: …I guess I should work on my priorities.
adolin: dont YOU have finals to prepare for, you tiny high-schooler?
adolin: stop making fun of me and go study
renren: We tiny high-schoolers don't have them until the week after you big university folks.
renren: And I would, but you make it so easy!
adolin: i swear. one of these days im gonna delete the heart emoji by your name you little twerp
adolin: im too lazy to do it atm but one day
renren: [heart]
Scoffing, he shakes his head and once again stuffs the phone into his pocket. His dorm is just around this corner, thank the heavens, and he can get out of this biting December wind. There's hot chocolate powder in his room, on the shelf above his desk, and there might be some marshmallows left, too… It won't be as good without whipped cream, but at this point he'd take the bitterest black coffee, so long as it's hot.
He breezes on through the main lobby, sighing in relief as the warmth in the building hits him, and takes the stairs two at a time all the way up to the third floor. As he pulls open the door leading from the stairwell to his hall, he fishes around in his other pocket for his keys, already dreaming of that hot chocolate he's about to make himself. Mmm…
When he opens his door, his roommate glances at him, then returns his gaze to the ceiling. He's lying on his back on his bed, one leg propped up, dark hair fanned out across his pillow.
"Mm-hmm," he says, and Adolin blinks. "Hey, I gotta go. My roommate just got back. I'll call you later." Oh, he realizes. Kaladin is on the phone. He swallows the greeting he'd been about to halfheartedly offer and quietly closes the door and sets his bag down by his bed. "Yeah, yeah," Kaladin says, and surprisingly there's a soft chuckle in his voice. "Love you too. Okay, bye."
He hangs up and then drops the phone on the bed next to him. Then he doesn't move, still staring at the ceiling, until the silence grows too awkward for Adolin to stomach it.
"So," he begins, awkward as all hell as he slips out of his jacket and tosses his phone onto his bed in case Renarin texts him again. Where does his natural charm go when talking to this stupid boy? "Friend of yours? …Girlfriend? Syl?"
Kaladin casts him a slightly annoyed glance. "Little brother," he corrects. For a moment Adolin's heart sinks—the conversation is going to stop there, and he'll have to drink his hot chocolate tempered with a thick, uncomfortable silence—but then, to his surprise, his roommate continues. "His name is Tien and he's upset because he just finished catching up on Gravity Falls and there's no more of it."
There's a smile on his face. Adolin blinks before he realizes he was staring—this is probably the first time he's seen Kaladin smile, what is happening—and hastily turns away to grab a mug, busying himself with hot chocolate. "Gravity Falls was good," he says, spooning cocoa powder into the bottom. "I binged it with my little brother last time I went home."
"You have a brother?" Kaladin's voice is laced with mild interest, and almost spitefully Adolin thinks Hah! So you do have a personality sometimes!
"Yeah," he says. "His name's Renarin. He's three years younger—well, okay, right now only two, because his birthday was last week and mine's not til February, but for the majority of the year, he's three years younger than me."
"Tien's two years younger than me," Kaladin says, sitting up. "Is that hot chocolate mix?"
"Yes," Adolin says, eying his box and wondering if saying and you can't have any would shut down the conversation. Probably would. Damn, he's nearly out.
"…I'll trade you some whipped cream for a few spoonfuls," Kaladin offers after a moment of silence, obviously spent weighing his options. Adolin whirls around.
"You have whipped cream?"
An arm waves lazily at the fridge by the door. "Yeah, Syl brought it over to have with the last of my strawberries on the weekend, while you were out. With Janala. I think."
Adolin snorts. "Janala and I broke up two months back," he informs his roommate. "If your whipped cream is that old, I don't think I want it. Which mug do you want me to use?"
"The one on the left," Kaladin says, looking over to the shelf where his dishes are. "…Thanks. And no, I meant this past weekend. Whoever you were with then." His disparaging tone of voice says all Adolin needs to know about his opinion of Adolin's love life. Which apparently is not very high.
"Danlan," he says, even though Kaladin hadn't asked. "And no, before you ask, I don't think I'll be seeing her again, either."
"Wasn't gonna ask," Kaladin mutters.
The silence returns for a long, long moment while Adolin waits for the water in the kettle to boil. Then, not wanting things to go back to just being awkward, he steels himself for more of this odd conversation and asks, "How do you do it?"
Kaladin looks up from his phone, raising one dark eyebrow. "Do what?"
"Keep a steady girlfriend!" Adolin huffs, kind of embarrassed to be stooping so low as to ask his grumpy-ass roommate for advice, but… he seems to be doing something right. "You and Syl have been together for months, right?"
For a second, Kaladin's face is overtaken by a look of pure surprise before he bursts out laughing. Adolin frowns. "You think I'm dating Syl?" He picks up his phone then, amusement dancing in his eyes. "Stormfather, she'll get a kick out of that for sure. Hah! Dating Syl!"
"You mean—you two aren't dating?" Adolin asks confusedly. "But…"
"We're not," Kaladin snorts. "She's my best friend. –But don't think that means she's available," he adds, narrowing his eyes for a moment. "She could kick your ass for herself if you tried anything, but I'll save her the trouble and tell you now. Don't try flirting with her, not only is she incredibly not interested in romance, but also just. Don't."
"I'm not!" Adolin holds his hands up in surrender. "I'm…" He takes a breath, then pushes it out and announces the same thing he told Renarin. "I'm actually taking a break from the romance department for a while. At least until the end of finals."
"Really," Kaladin says dryly. "I'm sure the rest of the school will be relieved to hear that."
"Oh, shut up," Adolin tells him, then starts peering around. "Now where did I put the damn marshmallows…" They aren't on the shelf where he thought they were, but he knows he didn't finish that bag! There were around ten left!
"Top shelf above the closet." Kaladin is pointing, when he turns around to look. "You tossed them up there when you were cleaning last week."
"Oh, right." Adolin pushes his chair, a nice comfortable spinning one, over from the desk to the closet door. It's not the safest thing in the world, using a spinning desk chair as a step stool, but hey, what's life without living on the edge a little?
(If he falls and breaks his arm on the edge of the desk or something, there is only a very slim chance that Renarin won't add that to his list of "Stupid Ways My Brother Has Injured Himself". Currently that list is topped by the time that Adolin, a few years ago, tried to ride a unicycle around the kitchen while making dinner, just to see if he could. For the record, he could not. But he'd almost done it! He'd only fallen on the stove while trying to add the last spices to the soup.)
As if prompted by the thought, Adolin's phone starts to ring just as he's reaching precariously up into the shelf. He groans, cursing his past self for having just thrown the marshmallow bag up here to dust the bottom shelf last week, and stretches to reach for it. "Could you see who that is for me?"
Kaladin rolls over and picks up Adolin's phone. "It's from 'Ren-Ren-Heart'," he says, wrinkling his nose.
Honestly, why are these shelves so deep? His fingers are just brushing the bag. "That'd be Renarin," he mutters. "I'll just… call him back in a little bit." He pauses and looks over. "Unless you wanna answer for me, anyway."
To his surprise, Kaladin shrugs and swipes his thumb over the screen. "Hi," he says. "This is Adolin's roommate, he can't get to the phone right now because he's—"
"No, no!" Adolin hisses. "Don't tell him!"
"—standing on his rolling chair trying to find the marshmallows he threw on the top shelf last week. Anyway, what can I do for you?"
Adolin groans, letting his head thump against the shelf in front of him, then yelps as the shift in his weight causes the chair to spin precariously. He only just barely manages to catch his balance and not fall, then has to scoot the chair back over so he can reach for the marshmallows again.
Kaladin looks up. "Ren-ren," he reports, stony-eyed and straight-faced, "would like me to inform you that your father has booked your plane tickets for your flight home in two weeks and also says please don't be an idiot. Dunno if he can do that, Ren-Ren." There's a short pause, then Kaladin says, "Well, that's the name that popped up on the screen when you called. Uh, yeah, there's a heart by it, too." He looks up at Adolin again. "He says to tell you that you really are lazy."
"I know that! I'm the one who told him that," Adolin says indignantly. "Tell him to—"
"Hey, Renarin," Kaladin interrupts, breezily ignoring him. "I don't suppose you have any embarrassing childhood stories about your brother to share, do you?"
"Renarin Kholin I swear if you tell him about anything but especially the thing with the unicycle I will come home and tickle you so damn hard for two weeks straight," Adolin yells, making sure the threat is loud enough to be heard from the phone.
Kaladin's eyes glint. "What thing with the unicycle?" he asks. There's a long pause, and Adolin stops groping around for the marshmallow bag to glare daggers. Then Kaladin sighs. "Alright, I get it, blackmail works. I'll just get it from him," he says. "Bye, Renarin."
He hangs up and drops the phone back to Adolin's bed, smirking ever so slightly, and Adolin feels irritation stir inside him because it isn't fair that he gets to be handsome while trying to ferret out embarrassing stories and then looking smug about it. "Oh, fuck you. What's that look for?"
"Ren-ren?" Kaladin repeats, his lips twitching ever so slightly.
"What? Don't tell me you don't have nicknames for your brother," Adolin says defensively, leaning a bit further. Finally, he manages to snag the marshmallows and pulls away from the shelf, stepping down from the chair.
"I don't have him named something ridiculous like 'Ti-Ti-Heart' in my phone, if that's what you mean," Kaladin snorts. "Do you do that to everyone in your contacts?"
"…None of your business," Adolin huffs. He returns to the desks to pour hot water into both mugs, and breathes deeply as the aroma of rich hot chocolate rises.
"Oh, god, do you have a stupid name for me, too?" Kaladin reaches for Adolin's phone again, but thankfully it's locked. Adolin smirks.
"Guess you'll never know," he says, shrugging as he turns back around, stepping over to the fridge to get the whipped cream out. Then he frowns as his phone starts to ring again.
When he turns around, he sees his damn roommate holding his own phone and peering at Adolin's screen. Dammit. Of course he could just call and see which name showed up. Dammit.
Kaladin slowly turns to look at him. "Grumpypants McGrumpface," he repeats, voice dripping with sarcasm. "That's… That's the best you could come up with?"
"It fits pretty well, as far as I'm concerned," Adolin shoots back, crossing his arms. "What, do you have suggestions? Recommendations for some sort of 'stupid name' for yourself?"
Kaladin snorts disparagingly. "I'm no English major," he shrugs, "but it seems like that name might be a little bit on the redundant side."
"That's the point!" Adolin glares, all but throwing open the fridge to grab the whipped cream. He squirts two hearty dollops onto the mugs, over the marshmallows, and then holds one out to his asshole of a roommate. "Here," he says. "Your hot chocolate, Grumpypants."
"You make a habit of calling me that out loud and I'll smother you in your sleep," Kaladin says, taking the mug. "Thanks for the hot chocolate."
"So I can keep calling you Grumpypants McGrumpface in my phone and you won't have a problem?"
"Never said I wouldn't have a problem. Just that I won't smother you in your sleep for it."
"Well, what would you prefer I call you then?" Adolin would cross his arms, but his hands are wrapped around the soothing heat of his steaming hot chocolate mug, and his fingers are elated to finally be thawing.
"I have a name," Kaladin answers. "You can use that."
"Ugh, you're so boring," Adolin sighs. "The whole point of nicknames is to be fun."
…That gives him an idea. He picks up his phone and fiddles with it for a second, then holds it out to show Kaladin.
"There," he pronounces. "It's not redundant anymore. Are you happy now?"
Kaladin lets out a long-suffering sigh and doesn't answer. Adolin just grins triumphantly, sitting back and looking at the newly edited contact on the screen: Grumpypants McBoringface.
Perfect.
AN: This is planned to be a series of more or less chronological oneshots, set in the "everything is fine and no one is dead shhhhhh" college AU. It's also eventually going to be Kadolin probably, or maybe some variant of Shakadolin, I haven't fully decided yet haha!
Adolin has cheesy names in his phone for everyone. Not pictured are "dad-inar", "shallartsy-fartsy", and "navauntie", among others.
The world is some kind of mashup of our world and Roshar... don't question it too much I guess lol
(Also, fanfiction dot net's formatting policy doesn't allow me to put the heart emoji by "renren", so... just imagine it. ;D