Chapter 1- Awakening

What's going on? Everything's so dark. Am I dead? Oh, light? No? It's just some old bald dude. Wait, PERSON! Swim towards! Swim towards! Wait... I don't know him. Eh, he's my best chance. ONWARDS!

"Hello, it is time for your choice." What does that mean?

Three windows open behind him with titles on each of the frames. Magvel, Elibe, and Yllise… FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

"Since when did I enter a fanfiction?!" I yell.

I remember reading the stories made by Shanzira and Cameron and instantly was both interested and inspired. I tried writing a self-insert in my own time but the writing was terrible and the pacing was even more so. I felt embarrassed by it and ended up scrapping it. Is this karma?

He replied, "Since another version of you wished it." Oh, I don't like that smile old man. "I assume you're familiar with the multiple worlds theory?"

"Of course. It is said there is a universe for every possible outcome." What is he getting at?

"Precisely. To explain; another version of you wanted to do a self-insert story. Because of that, we just had to tweak the story of the version of Fluffy that is you so that we could bring your spirit to this world."

"I had to die!?" You see this face? Not amused.

"Yes, that is what you get for scrapping a story." I knew it was Karma!

"How was I supposed to know!?"

"Stop complaining and pick a window." Did I catch a nerve?

I give him a slightly amused snarl at him and pick one. He smiles in an all knowing way and, again, I hate it. I hate smug people because I know how it feels to be smug. Smugness is just another word for overconfidence. That's me. The nerdy, over self-confident hypocrite.

"Anything else?"

"Just take this and fall." He throws a card at me and I lose my balance, falling backwards into the portal for Yllise. I can feel several things change around me as I fall. Fabric wraps around me into a knee length, dark purple coat and the pockets on my white cargo shorts turn black. My normally curly red hair loses all volume and color, turning into a silver mop of curls. Finally A book materializes at my waist and I lose about about 75 pounds.

(Blackout)

I wake up in the middle of a burning forest, surrounded by several 'zombies' and looking up at a large blue 'eye' in the sky. I don't like it, but I can see why that old dude dropped me here. It's a canon portal for things to drop out of NOWERE! It makes the most sense because it never made sense in the first place.

Oh, right, zombies. Run! Now I'm being chased by half a dozen zombies wielding swords and axes. Wow, I run a lot faster with less weight on me, but I doubt I'm much less than two hundred pounds. Yeah I was big. I still am… I guess. The guys always said I was ripped under a thick layer of blubber. Can't say I disagree. Still surprised by the speed of these undead. Must be Spielberg's fault.

Whoa! Cavalier! Dodge! (I may have never had to face one, but I played D&D. My fear is justified. That and I've played Sacred Stones. -shudder-) His lance runs through three like a shish-cabob and his horse stamps another flat. A burst of electricity fries the fifth and the sixth is decapitated by a very iconic sword. I'm impressed, but also scared. If that knight is who I think it is, and it is, then I'm quite truly screwed.

The great knight in question glares down at me and I do the natural thing. I grovel.

"I am so sorry! I got lost and was suddenly attacked! Please don't run me through!" Of course I'm on my knees while this is going on and don't see a girl arrive from behind me and a 'guy' arrive behind the 'warrior prince.' Across from them is a silver haired archer and a cavalier

"Milord, what are your thoughts? Is he a threat?" the great knight asks. Paranoid dastard... What did I just think?

"No Frederick. I just think he was in the wrong place at the wrong time." the prince suplies.

The 'male' cleared 'his' throat and the group turned to face the mysterious youth. (You all know who it is.) The youth was talking to them but kept 'his' gaze on me. Gods, those eyes are unnerving. Huh? I was trying to think gods. NO! GODS! Whatever, must be the rules of this universe.

Apparently I wasn't paying attention, because the talk is already over and the youth grabs me; pulling me away from the others as I struggle against 'his' grip. We are sufficient distance away and now 'falchion' is at my throat.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" 'he' asks.

"I'm sorry your highness, but what can I say that won't get me killed?" I ask honestly.

Probably the wrong move. She punches me across the jaw and holds me at the collar. I can feel her rage permeating behind the blue butterfly-esque mask.

"Are you going to answer my question?" she threatens.

"I swear I have no idea!" –Now I'm panicking- "I was dropped here against my will!"

"How much do you know and how do you know it?"

I twitch my head slightly and look right at her. Gods, how did I get into this mess? I'm not good with talking to people I don't know. Mystery man of mirrors- I will find you and make you pay. (Note to self- find his real name.)

"Um, um, um…" My eyes dart rapidly to look for a hint of what to do next. Too. Much. PRESSURE! Not one of my proudest moments, but I curl into a ball with my hood pulled up and start shaking profusely.

"I never asked for this. What now? I can't take it back. I can't spill the beans. I need to get away somehow, but how? Someone get me out of here. I don't want to be decapitated!" I babble. Of course I say this in the course of ten seconds with a barely audible volume but I hear something.

"Why didn't you just ask?" a new voice sounds from seemingly no where.

My head shoots up in surprise at the seemingly male voice and lights appear around me. My shoulders glow a brilliant blue and a symbol materializes below me. I'm sent flying backwards a good thirty yards with no warning, which apparently is enough to slightly shock the princess and I, but me less so. The trick sends me rolling away for a good ten seconds before I stand and force the shock away. I run behind a tree like a certain stupid Uchiha and peer out like a timid kid. Must look strange considering I'm six foot four and a half.

I won't be bashful about it. I'm a giant and still growing.

"Are we done with the sword now? Please?" I ask timidly.

The princess walks over and cautiously sheaths the falchion. I step out from behind the tree and pull off my hood. I'm sure the depressed look on my face is quite clear. I don't try to look that way, but I do anyway. Comes with being a teen.

"Who are you?" she questions. I ease out from behind the tree as she puts away 'falchion.' My hand goes to my chin in a ponderer's pose.

I answer, "My name is Matthew. I guess right now I'm Phlat though. Yeah, call me either Phlat or Matt."

"I'm not even going to ask. Next question, how much do you know?" (So she did learn something in the war torn future. Still, no, it's probably not the reason you think.)

Oh, how do I answer this? Lying is a big no. The truth is a bigger no. Urrrg!

"I'm not sure how to answer that one…" Gods I'm meek.

"How do you know about me?" I might be able to get away with this one... Maybe.

"Legends, stories, and the like. Um, what else… Lady Lucina?"

Someone tell me what I'm supposed to do! I don't know! I just don't! She obviously doesn't believe me. I can see it… oh wait. Mask…. Well I can still see it! Huh, I'm being dragged again. Wow she is strong. (Think about subspace emissary and the scene where Diddy drags Fox. Like that.)

"You shall be coming with me until I get all of my answers," she tells me. I can tell what happens next. Sigh... Let the shenanigans commence! Honestly, this is a self-insert fic. Nothing will be easy or tame.

-That Night-

Okay, I'm back in that black space again. And there's the bald dude. For some reason I don't have a problem talking to him how I feel.

"WHAT!?" He simply cleans out an ear.

"I can hear you just fine, dork. I hope you realize what this fate entails."

"Okay, so I'm stuck here for a while. I accept that. Could I get some rules to follow? Maybe some warnings? A simple good luck? Come on!" He looks like he's thinking hard and starts to rub his chin.

"I already told you that the multiple worlds theorem is in effect, correct?" I nod. "Well, there is a second side to that. Any idea that a group of people believes in strongly enough will take effect. Combine this with the multiple universes and what do you get?"

"Rules from other universes are in effect?"

"Exactly, which means…?" Oh he loves egging me on.

"I'll have to deal with itchy healings and alter egos that I'll have to face?"

"It worked! He can be taught!" Now I'm twitching. Does this guy tick me off that much? OW! Okay, who threw that book! Wow, it was the book at my side.

"Anything else?" I ask with harshly suppressed anger.

"Everything is in that book." He points to the tome in my hand. "Read it in your free time. It may just enlighten you." He fades from my view and I lose myself to a dream. Wait, Gods! I didn't ask his name!

FIFIFIFIFIFIFIFIFIFI

For explanation: I was in a campaignn with my friends from school. One used unearthed Arcana and made a cavalier with 18.73 dexterity and 18.00 strength and constitution. He then fumbled against a giant door and killed the party member who laughed at him. Ahhh, memories.

More shall be explained in time. Review, comment, flame, whatever. See you guys next chapter.