Dear Diary,
Kissing Damon Salvatore is what I picture doing heroine to be like: addictive, sweet, soft but with a bite, and lethal and once you've had it once there's no going back. And I was officially an addict. His blue eyes connecting with mine, under his long dark lashes. The corner of his mouth quirks up before and after our lips touch its like he's deeply amused about something. And the worst part is, I know he is. He's Damon Salvatore, and he is always amused, that's his…his thing. He's sassy and outspoken, and a total ass but I love him. And when you love someone it's like everything you ever knew about the world changes, and it isn't just because I love him that my world has changed.
I've changed. I'm not the same girl who wrote in here years ago… I was doe-eyed then, I had no idea what the world truly was like and what darkness waited for me. I'm a doppelganger, a vampire, a monster. But he looks at me like I am the most incredible thing he's ever seen and I guess I just don't see it. He thinks the world of me, and expects me to be so good. Everyone does. So I see why he does it, tries to sabotage his life. It's exhausting having to be what everyone sees you as.
When Damon goes off the rails people are upset but they aren't disappointed, but me.. I can't even imagine, but I think the world forgets, I'm a vampire too. I have these urges, and I like to kill. I can never admit it, the way I feel inside, the way I was never allowed to feel inside. I'm fighting wars on all ends, the war against who I want to be, who he wants me to be, who everyone else wants me to be, and who I actually am. Sometimes my head is spinning so fast that I don't know which way is up, let alone how the hell I'm going to be able to handle any of this.
But I have an eternity to find out.