Losing Him
When you lose someone, you're life seems to stop as you know it. Everyone seems to be so distant. So very far away. Too far away to ever hope of coming back. You're heart shatters. Breaks, then crumbles away like dust. My heart did when I saw him.
I stood there, staring at the non-moving body of the man I loved. I hurt, no, my heart hurt. I couldn't stand to see him that way. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't keep my feet in the spot where they should have been planted. By his side, caring for him, showing him how much..how much I....how much I loved him. My feet turned and started to run away. To the well, my feet took me. Back to the home I knew oh so very well. To the comforting arms of my mother. To the wise words of my grandfather, to the company of my little brother.
When I reached that well, no hesitation came, like so many times before, to jump in and go back. As soon as my feet were firmly planted on my side of the well, I climbed up the rope latter my grandfather left for me. I ran to my home. My mother stood in the kitchen. I stood there with the tears rolling down my cheeks, staring at the lovely face of my loving mother. I ran to her. Into her wide stretched arms. To her, just plainly to her I ran. I needed my mom. I needed her comfort, her soothing words, but most of all..I needed her love.
I told her of him. Of how it all happened. And now, I will tell you. Though it is very hard for me, I will try my hardest to tell you of it all. Even of him. And all about what he did just for me.
It all started during a battle. A battle with an evil demon, well, not really even demon. More like a hanyou. Half-man, half-demon. His name is Naraku. He wanted the shikon jewel. The jewel of four souls, which can give unto those whom posses the whole jewel, power. Power beyond what most people dream of. It can make a hanyou fully human or fully demon. Naraku wished to be full demon. As did the man I love.
Inuyasha...that name..belonged to him. The man that holds my heart. The only man I will ever love. Inuyasha fought Naraku for the good of all, but most of all for Kikyo. Kikyo, his first love. The one of which I am the reincarnation of. Naraku killed Kikyo for the jewel and also because she loved Inuyasha. Not him. Inuyasha swore to the living dead Kikyo he would avenge her death and then transcend to hell with her. Or in other words, die with her. While Inuyasha fought Naraku, Naraku found a way to fool Inuyasha into thinking he was still there in the flesh in front of him. When in reality he had gone behind him. Behind me. I held the bow and purifying arrow steady and ready to shoot at any time. When Inuyasha slashed the "puppet" of Naraku's, that was then he realized he wasn't there. Naraku attacked me from behind. But before he could even touch me, Inuyasha was there. Inuyasha protected me, shielded me with his own body to save me. Sango, the demon exterminator and Miroku the monk, chased Naraku into the nearby forest. Naraku escaped. This time with his life.
"Kagome...are you there?" Inuyasha whispered to me.
"Yes Inuyasha?" I said with tears in my eyes.
"Did he harm you? At all?" I was taken aback by this question.
"N.no." I answered. "You blocked him before he could hurt me."
"Good. I don't want you to die. Not by his hands." Inuyasha said with that look in his eyes. The way he looked at Kikyo.
"Thank you." I muttered.
"I already lost one love, don't let me lose another. Ever." I gasped at what he just said. He loved me? Or was he just thinking of Kikyo.
"Kagome. Hmm. At least I get to die knowing that for once in my life someone other than my mother cared for me. Kagome. That is the name I want on my lips when I die." He said looking up at the sky.
"Inuyasha?! What do you mean?!" I panicked. I didn't know what to say. For once, he actually showed his feelings to me, and not toward Kikyo, toward me.
"I mean," He replied annoyed. "I..I love you Kagome."
"Inuyasha. Inuyasha, I love you too." I said a bit on the surprised side.
"I know. I've known." He said. "I was just to afraid to confront you. But of all things in this world, I love you more than any." He coughed. With his cough came blood. I rose in horror at the sight. He took one deep breath and smiled at me. Then his eyes closed. His body went limp. That was when I heard Sango and Miroku approaching. My feet turned at that point and I started to run back to the well. That is what happened. How he died. Protecting me.
My mother held me tightly. Allowing my tears to stain her shirt. I hadn't cried or needed my mother like this in so very long. She was probably the only one who understood. After my father died, she cried like this. I had always wondered why. Now I know.
Now I know the bitter taste of reality, the pain of my heart breaking and tearing, and the loss of words that could have been said. Things that should have been said that never were. Simple words like "I love you" or "I care for you". Words that will never be given a chance to ever be said again. Time that can never ever be earned back. Life that will never see light again. Love..love completely incomplete. All lost. This is how I conclude that I will never love again. Life and love will never be the same as it was with him. With my Inuyasha.
When you lose someone, you're life seems to stop as you know it. Everyone seems to be so distant. So very far away. Too far away to ever hope of coming back. You're heart shatters. Breaks, then crumbles away like dust. My heart did when I saw him.
I stood there, staring at the non-moving body of the man I loved. I hurt, no, my heart hurt. I couldn't stand to see him that way. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't keep my feet in the spot where they should have been planted. By his side, caring for him, showing him how much..how much I....how much I loved him. My feet turned and started to run away. To the well, my feet took me. Back to the home I knew oh so very well. To the comforting arms of my mother. To the wise words of my grandfather, to the company of my little brother.
When I reached that well, no hesitation came, like so many times before, to jump in and go back. As soon as my feet were firmly planted on my side of the well, I climbed up the rope latter my grandfather left for me. I ran to my home. My mother stood in the kitchen. I stood there with the tears rolling down my cheeks, staring at the lovely face of my loving mother. I ran to her. Into her wide stretched arms. To her, just plainly to her I ran. I needed my mom. I needed her comfort, her soothing words, but most of all..I needed her love.
I told her of him. Of how it all happened. And now, I will tell you. Though it is very hard for me, I will try my hardest to tell you of it all. Even of him. And all about what he did just for me.
It all started during a battle. A battle with an evil demon, well, not really even demon. More like a hanyou. Half-man, half-demon. His name is Naraku. He wanted the shikon jewel. The jewel of four souls, which can give unto those whom posses the whole jewel, power. Power beyond what most people dream of. It can make a hanyou fully human or fully demon. Naraku wished to be full demon. As did the man I love.
Inuyasha...that name..belonged to him. The man that holds my heart. The only man I will ever love. Inuyasha fought Naraku for the good of all, but most of all for Kikyo. Kikyo, his first love. The one of which I am the reincarnation of. Naraku killed Kikyo for the jewel and also because she loved Inuyasha. Not him. Inuyasha swore to the living dead Kikyo he would avenge her death and then transcend to hell with her. Or in other words, die with her. While Inuyasha fought Naraku, Naraku found a way to fool Inuyasha into thinking he was still there in the flesh in front of him. When in reality he had gone behind him. Behind me. I held the bow and purifying arrow steady and ready to shoot at any time. When Inuyasha slashed the "puppet" of Naraku's, that was then he realized he wasn't there. Naraku attacked me from behind. But before he could even touch me, Inuyasha was there. Inuyasha protected me, shielded me with his own body to save me. Sango, the demon exterminator and Miroku the monk, chased Naraku into the nearby forest. Naraku escaped. This time with his life.
"Kagome...are you there?" Inuyasha whispered to me.
"Yes Inuyasha?" I said with tears in my eyes.
"Did he harm you? At all?" I was taken aback by this question.
"N.no." I answered. "You blocked him before he could hurt me."
"Good. I don't want you to die. Not by his hands." Inuyasha said with that look in his eyes. The way he looked at Kikyo.
"Thank you." I muttered.
"I already lost one love, don't let me lose another. Ever." I gasped at what he just said. He loved me? Or was he just thinking of Kikyo.
"Kagome. Hmm. At least I get to die knowing that for once in my life someone other than my mother cared for me. Kagome. That is the name I want on my lips when I die." He said looking up at the sky.
"Inuyasha?! What do you mean?!" I panicked. I didn't know what to say. For once, he actually showed his feelings to me, and not toward Kikyo, toward me.
"I mean," He replied annoyed. "I..I love you Kagome."
"Inuyasha. Inuyasha, I love you too." I said a bit on the surprised side.
"I know. I've known." He said. "I was just to afraid to confront you. But of all things in this world, I love you more than any." He coughed. With his cough came blood. I rose in horror at the sight. He took one deep breath and smiled at me. Then his eyes closed. His body went limp. That was when I heard Sango and Miroku approaching. My feet turned at that point and I started to run back to the well. That is what happened. How he died. Protecting me.
My mother held me tightly. Allowing my tears to stain her shirt. I hadn't cried or needed my mother like this in so very long. She was probably the only one who understood. After my father died, she cried like this. I had always wondered why. Now I know.
Now I know the bitter taste of reality, the pain of my heart breaking and tearing, and the loss of words that could have been said. Things that should have been said that never were. Simple words like "I love you" or "I care for you". Words that will never be given a chance to ever be said again. Time that can never ever be earned back. Life that will never see light again. Love..love completely incomplete. All lost. This is how I conclude that I will never love again. Life and love will never be the same as it was with him. With my Inuyasha.