COULD HAVE BEANS

So Many Years Have Passed

a/n: this is about the cutest movie ever, but I don't own 'karagurashi no Arrietty'.

Life is hard when you're small.

Arrietty knows this, she's a borrower. She borrows things from humans that they won't miss, little trinkets like earrings, pins and buttons. She and her family need to take these things from humans because they have no other way of survival. Their kind is dying out, and there are few of them left in the world. They just aren't adept to the environment human beans keep changing.

Arrietty had always grown up taught that these human beans were insensitive creatures, only doing things in their best interest if it benefitted them only. But now she knows much better. She's been exposed to the human kind, and now she knows not every bean is a threat, not all of them are dangerous. It's all because of one person – Shō.

Young, frail and human, he opened her eyes to his world. Arrietty discovered, to her surprise, he hadn't wanted to hurt her; all he wanted to do was protect her. His heart was weak, but it was made of gold.

Life is hard when you're small, but life without love is so much harder. Even twelve years after their parting, a little part of her heart still longs for him – for him to hold her close ad warm in her hand and tell her softly that he missed her.

Is this what love feels like?

It's a warm fluttering sensation in her stomach. She thinks of his soft laugh, remembering when she hears his soothing voice, everything will be better. The way his eyes crinkle at the corners and the way his mouth curves into a sweet smile, like a half moon. Twelve years, and she still feels butterflies every time she thinks of him, and anything about him.

She was too young to be in love back then, at fourteen years of age, her mother had told her. Homily and Pod met in their thirties, while Arrietty, who was then still not past her teenage years, was more curious and dubious about the feeling of love than they ever were.

Arrietty remembers asking her mother about it once, when she was quite young. Once they had left Shō's house behind, she had suddenly shown an interest in the feeling, although her parents could not begin to understand why.

"Love?" Homily asks, curiously. She studies her daughter's face. The expression is sincere, yet she is skeptical about her reasons for asking in the first place.

"Yes. What does it feel like, Mother?"

Homily is puzzled. What does love feel like? She feels love for her husband, her daughter, and her race, but the wording of her feelings escapes her.

"I'm not entirely sure, Arrietty. Why do you ask, dear?"

Her daughter hangs her head slightly and shakes her head.

"No reason, Mother. I was just curious."

Arrietty tries asking her father as well.

"Why would you want to know about love, Arrietty? You're still so young." He asks.

"I just would like to know the feeling of being in love. What it really is," she scratches the back of her neck, "since it has never happened to me before."

A little disbelieving, Pod thinks back to the time where he was in love. It was with Homily, of course, but now they shared a true love. It had been a very long time since he had felt those butterflies in his stomach for anyone, not since his teenage years.

"I think love is a difficult, layered thing, Arrietty."

"Layered, Papa?"

"Yes. Layered. It is not a simple thing, love."

Arrietty tilts her head to the side in thought.

"I suppose not."

"Love is not skin deep. You cannot love someone for their beauty or wealth alone. You must love them for who they are, for their heart." Pod says thoughtfully.

Arrietty begins to smile.

"Yes. For their heart." She leans over and kisses her father on the cheek, "Thank you, Papa."

That was a very long time ago, when she was still young and unsure of her feelings and what they meant. She wasn't even sure if she knew what they meant now, at twenty-six years old. But the one thing she knew? She was no longer too young for love. She was ready to accept true love with open arms.

But that night she tosses and turns in her tiny bed. It's a little less comfortable than her old one, but she's gotten used to it (she's had twelve years to get used to it, in fact.) She misses her old house, nonetheless.

Or rather, she misses how close her old house was to Shō's.

She's thought about him every day since they separated. Even his last words – 'I'll never forget you, ever.' – linger in her mind when she can't sleep.

It's childish and naïve in some ways.

She's a Borrower, he's a Human Bean. They live in two completely different worlds – beans and borrowers are not meant to fall in love.

She doesn't even know if he feels the same way she does, after all these years. It's been over a decade, for Lord's sake. But he protected her, cared for her, and kept her safe, but maybe it was all in the name of friendship and it hadn't meant as much to him as it did to her. What if he had forgotten about her? Shō didn't seem to have wanted to break his promise to her, but when time passes, people change. Even if he had unintentionally forgotten, she would still just be a memory to him.

But her father had said 'love is layered. It is not skin deep.' She doesn't just love Shō for his looks, or his wealth, she loves every part of him, inside and out. She loves him for who he is, for his heart, as her father had told her, no matter how frail and weak it is.

She feels the little pattering of butterflies in her stomach, the ones she gets whenever she thinks about Shō. After all, she realizes if she's twelve years in, she's in a lot deeper than she might've initially thought. She wouldn't care even if he had forgotten about her. She'll love him to no end regardless, for what he did for her and how much he's changed her as a person, her view on life. She just happened to fall in love with him along the way.

So, this is love.