When it came to Elizabeth, Cadman was like a child with a crush.
Longing for Elizabeth's undivided attention.
Cadman longed for the day Elizabeth would notice her. Notice her for the woman she truly was. Not Lieutenant Cadman. Not someone who served under her command.
She longed for Elizabeth to flash her that breathtaking smile or a meaningful look.
She longed for Elizabeth to see her soul.
She longed for Elizabeth's kiss—to feel the softness of her lips, to taste her lips against her own.
She longed for Elizabeth's touch, longed to feel Elizabeth's body against hers.
She longed for Elizabeth to whisk her off her feet—like the hopeless romantic she truly was.
She longed for Elizabeth to tell her that she was the only one she wanted.
She longed for Elizabeth to whisper sweet nothings in her ear.
She longed for Elizabeth to utter those three little words.
She longed for Elizabeth to talk dirty to her.
She longed for Elizabeth to fuck her on her office table, in the puddle jumper.
She longed to be the one to bring Elizabeth to her climax. For Elizabeth to call out her name as she came.
She longed for Elizabeth to find her weak spots.
Cadman longed to know whether or not Elizabeth's breath would catch, if she were to kiss and lick the hollow part of her neck.
Soft laughter disrupted Cadman's thoughts of lust, of longing, bringing her back to reality.
A reality she despised.
She made sure she remained hidden—even though she was on the balcony above…them.
She knew she was invading their privacy and, out of respect, she should leave—or, at least, leave before she made her presence felt.
But, at this particular moment, Cadman could really care less.
She wanted to find out what it was that Elizabeth found so alluring about Teyla Emmagan. What made Teyla so Goddamn irresistible. Not only to Elizabeth, but to the majority of Atlantis' personnel—if not the entirety.
As Elizabeth snaked an arm around Teyla, pulling her closer, nipping and sucking at Teyla's earlobe—as she did so, Cadman couldn't help the pang of jealously that rose.
"I've missed this," Elizabeth murmured.
Cadman wasn't sure whether Elizabeth was referring to the city or to—
She felt a lump form in her throat.
In all honesty, she didn't want to know.
"I missed us," Elizabeth added, brushing her lips against Teyla's, entwining her fingers through her hair as she began to trace Teyla's bottom lip with the tip of her tongue.
A better person would've left.
They wouldn't have stayed.
But, being the better person was the last thing on Cadman's mind.
At this particular moment, other than Elizabeth, Cadman didn't know what she wanted.
As Elizabeth's tongue began to demand entrance, Teyla had no choice but to succumb to Elizabeth's demand. As both women deepened their kiss, Cadman felt her stomach churn—was Elizabeth doing this to spite her?
After what felt like a lifetime, but was, in fact, several moments; Teyla pulled back, stroking Elizabeth's face. "As have I," she murmured.
Jealously rose, yet again, as Elizabeth broke out into one of her rare, open smiles.
Just what did Teyla have that she didn't?
Other than a body of a goddess with looks that most women would kill for.
Cadman couldn't quite figure out what else attracted Elizabeth to Teyla.
It wasn't as if Teyla was--well, unique—let alone special.
Which begged the question—what attracted Elizabeth to Teyla? Teyla's charisma and personality, perhaps?
She wished she hadn't discovered their relationship.
She wished she hadn't noticed that damn insinuation behind their hug.
During their first mission after returning to Atlantis , Teyla and McKay were injured. True to form, McKay complained about how his "perfectly shaped ass" was constantly being shot at. And, of course, Sheppard had to retort with a "how his ass wasn't the only thing that needn't to be shot".
And, of course, this resulted in yet another bantering match between the Colonel and McKay.
The last thing Cadman wanted was to find herself in the middle.
Although, in retrospect, she wished she hadn't decided to leave the sick bay.
Wished she had stayed behind and put up with Sheppard and McKay's bantering instead.
Then, she wouldn't have stumbled upon Elizabeth and Teyla, but, unfortunately, she couldn't go back in time and alter things.
Cadman barely made it out of the sick bay, when she saw Elizabeth and Teyla embrace.
She didn't give it much thought—after all, she knew that they were friends. It was only natural for friends to show one another affection—even when their embrace seemed to last longer than a typical hug between two friends. Cadman just thought it was slightly peculiar, barely giving it another moments thought…other then how she wished Elizabeth would show her some sort of affection.
That is, until the following day, when she saw them share a chaste kiss.
Then, everything horribly fell into place.
She should be the one exchanging subtle glances and touches with Elizabeth, not Teyla.
"I love you."
Cadman felt her heart miss a beat, her breath caught in her throat as her jealously deepened at Elizabeth's declaration.
Cadman didn't know which was worse—Elizabeth's declaration or both women exchanging yet another kiss.
She closed her eyes.
This was too much.
Defeated, Cadman slowly slipped back inside.
This wasn't how it was meant to be.
Elizabeth shouldn't be saying those words to Teyla.
It should be her on the balcony, not Teyla.
Elizabeth should be uttering, "I love you" to her, not Teyla.
Elizabeth should be flashing her that smile, not Teyla.
She shouldn't be jealous of Teyla, but—well—she is.
She shouldn't be envious of Teyla, let alone despise Teyla for stealing her Elizabeth's heart and soul, but—again—she is.
She despised Teyla for charming Elizabeth, her Elizabeth.
She shouldn't envy or hate Teyla, but she does.
She shouldn't think about hitting on Elizabeth, now that she knew the truth, but she knows she will.
And she certainly shouldn't be thinking about confessing her feelings, but she is.
After all—just because Teyla's stolen her Elizabeth's heart that doesn't mean that she can't try to win Elizabeth over.