Tucked away somewhere in a drawer in Onodera's room.
Dear, Raku
What I Wish I could Say
Hey Raku, it's me Onodera. I'm too embarrassed to tell you how I really feel so I thought I'd write down my thoughts instead. Maybe one day I'l get
enough courage to tell you these feelings myself or even give you this letter, but for now, just writing them down is enough for me.
It started back in middle school. I remember everyone was afraid of you because you were the heir to the Yakuza. But something about you caught
my eye. Maybe it was the hair pin you wore. Everyone said you were scary and mean but I saw something else. I saw a certain sweetness and warmth
that seemed to emanate from you. It was that kindness and warmth that first began to pull me towards you.
Fast forward a bit and we started to become closer in middle school. My feelings began to deepen around the same time we had to take the entrance exams for high school. I
remember worrying every night that you and I would be separated before anything between us had actually happened. However, somehow, we ended up getting accepted into
the same school. I was ecstatic. I also remember around that time we created a wonderful memory together. Even today I can still feel that warm scarf wrapped around my
neck that bound the two of us together. I loved the way that moment made me feel and looked forward to creating more of those moments with you in the future.
After that we began our first few days at Bonyari and boy was I shocked to see that you had a girlfriend. I know we weren't a couple at the time and I never told you how I felt,
but I thought we had a connection so it was a little jarring. Seeing you happy with her made me feel down in a way I hadn't felt before. I began to think there was no hope for
me and you. Regretting not telling you how I felt when I had the chance. Fortunately for me I eventually learned that you weren't in a real relationship with her. I remember
when I found out. I ran straight to Ruri's house told her the news and just cried happily in her arms for what felt like an eternity.
While I'm sitting here reminiscing about the first two years we spent together at Bonyari I can't help but think of all the special moments we had. My favorite was probably one
that happened during the school play. I remember how crestfallen I felt when I realized that I couldn't participate in the play. I had been looking forward to being your Juliet for
so long. It was honestly one of the worst days of my life. But! In the end it all worked out. Even though on the outside I looked fine and happy, maybe you sensed how I felt. Or
maybe you just wanted to create another special moment with me. Whatever it was, you decided to reenact the play with me. That is probably the memory that is the most
special to me. Sometimes at night I lay in bed falling asleep while holding onto that warm fuzzy feeling thinking about the time creates within me.
So, here I am today writing this letter alone in my room while looking at some pictures of you that I bought during one of the school trips we went on. I just wanted to let you
know that I've always been there for you and have always loved you. Even if it's only from afar, even if I'm too shy to let you know how I feel, even if I avoid you sometimes it is
only because I'm afraid of what I might say on accident. sigh Maybe one day I'll be able to tell you how I really feel. Maybe one day when I ask you to kiss me I'll mean it and it
won't come out on accident. Hopefully, one day after I've gathered enough courage we can look back and read this letter together and reminisce about the past. One day I'll be
able to turn this wish into a reality. But until then, just being around the warm and gentle man I fell in love with will have to be enough.
Love, Onodera.
Author's Notes: This is something I wrote a little while ago and is what got me into the fanfiction game I suppose (I don't think it went against the guidelines of posting since it was my original work if it is please report it so it can be taken down). That aside, I'm still a formatting noob so forgive me. Please leave honest and critical reviews. Thanks for your time -Chika out