Disclaimer: I do not own any of the beautiful characters of
'InuYasha'… Oh and I don't own BoA… she
obviously owns herself… (You'll understand later)
Summary: Three words: "…In my pants"
Miroku and InuYasha make a little bet, but…what happens when InuYasha looses?Moreover, why does he keep saying that? Is there appoint to Miroku's madness? I sure hope so 'cause Kagome doesn't look too happy with InuYasha's odd choice of words…
AN: This idea came to me the other day when I ended every word I said
with this little phrase. It just makes everything sound funny. I had suddenly
remembered from freshman year, I heard this kid down the hallway talking about
how it can turn even the most innocent sentence around, he was so right. This
little story is designed to be a fair length one shot (now split in two), with
a little randomness (I don't like random stories too much).
Let's begin, shall we?
*
Miroku looked over at InuYasha eagerly. He had to be bluffing.
There was no way anyone could look that angry.
Miroku looked down at his hand. Not too bad…but still. Miroku looked back at InuYasha, who still had a scowl in place. He was definitely bluffing. Probably had the world's greatest hand…maybe not…he did usually look pissed off.
Ever since Kagome taught them this game, they were hooked. What was it called again? Starving, stumble, stripper… … …hmm, no that was the game Hatsumomo-san taught him way back when…those were the days, anyway… hmm… stinker, no wait… stupid! The name of the game was 'Stupid'! Yeah… Kagome said it was the perfect game for InuYasha…
~*FlashBack*~
Kagome handed InuYasha a deck of cards.
"Well, this game seems fairly easy," Miroku stated with an understanding expression.
"Can you explain it one more time?" InuYasha asked.
The girl sighed.
"I've explained it three times already!" she looked exasperated.
"My, my, my… I do believe our dear InuYasha may not be smart enough to play stupid," Miroku smirked.
"Ha, ha, ha. Very freakin' funny Bouzu," InuYasha replied.
"Hey, is that Sesshomaru?" Miroku called out and pointed behind InuYasha.
"Where?" he yelled and ran off blindly in the direction the monk pointed.
"See… there are no limits to his stupidity," Miroku told Kagome with a smile.
She, in return, sweat dropped at the hanyou's actions.
*~End FlashBack~*
That certainly was a moment he'd remember.
After repeated efforts of playing the game, both guys got the hang of it… and then the competition began…and betting had ensued. Which would lead them here…after finding nothing else to bet for, InuYasha became less entertained and refused to play with Miroku who was addicted to the thrill of winning.
That is until Miroku made a very interesting offer… one he couldn't refuse.
InuYasha put down his final card…this was it…time to end the game…and…"ha…Ha…HA…HAHAHAHAHAHA!!" Miroku chuckled, a bit high-pitched.
'I won!'
The fool named InuYasha actually thought he could beat the mastermind of cards? The one and only, who ranked supreme? The unfathomably great Miroku!
He wished.
"You cheated! I want a rematch!" shouted the silver haired boy, amber eyes flickering, ablaze with anger.
"I did no such thing and you know it InuYasha!" Miroku yelled back…the nerve! Really! What a sore loser!! To try and accuse an innocent monk…the great Miroku, no less! Seriously!
"Yeah, yeah, I know… 'A humble monk as myself would never dream of doing such a thing' right?" InuYasha asked one dark eyebrow arched while his lips seemed to form an blasé expression.
"You know me only too well… now about my prize--" Miroku was rudely cut off.
"What prize? You never said you wanted anything… you just told me what I would get if I win; You never mentioned any reward for yourself accept being given another chance to win and rub it in my face," InuYasha stated curiously.
"Surely you didn't think I would want nothing for my victory--" once again the monk was cut off by the same person.
"You can't have Kagome," InuYasha said quickly with his eyes narrowed.
"I'm not going to say I don't want her… but that's not what I'm asking for as my prize," Miroku stated calmly.
InuYasha looked a bit wary.
"Then what?" he asked with thick suspicion coating his voice.
"Not much really…I just want you to--" once again Miroku was cut off in his words.
"Listen, ya little freaky per--"InuYasha began… only this time he was the one to be interrupted.
"Please, get your mind out of the gutter; I don't swing that way anyways… I was just thinking for you to say something, well something that you would have to say at the end of every sentence for the rest of today," stated Miroku with a glint in his eyes and the hints of a crooked smile tilting his lips.
InuYasha looked extremely relieved. He just wanted him to say the same thing all day. That's nothing! 'Probably somethin' like "Miroku is the King" or some garbage like that…egotistical brat'.
"We'll then, lets here it…what do I gotta say?" InuYasha said with boredom and slight annoyance.
"Remember, we already made the deal…so you can't back out now, got it!" Miroku said firmly.
InuYasha rolled his eyes and nodded dully, with a rough "yeah" rolling off his lips.
"Okay then…the deal is you say it at the end of every single sentence, no matter what or who," Miroku continued, still using a firm tone.
InuYasha nodded in agreement with another "Yeah" after seeing Miroku's intense glare aimed in his direction.
"Alright then, the sacred words for you today will be… " now a full out grin broke across the dark blue eyed boy's face as he continued, "'…In. My. Pants.'"
All was quiet in the world for a second.
Only the sounds of the morning birds could be heard.
A dizzy look came about the hanyou's face.
And then…
"WHAT!?"
"InuYasha…please do try to keep your tone down, it's still early morning…I don't think you should wake Lady Kagome or Sango…or Lady Kaede for that matter…not with your obligations to me weighing upon you," Miroku held down a chuckle.
He was right. They had been playing from late night into early morning.
Miroku himself was a bit grouchy from lack of sleep…but InuYasha looked absolutely murderous.
"MI-RO-KU!" InuYasha whispered threateningly.
"What? It was your decision! You accepted and you lost… now I've come for my reward…" Miroku said in his defense quite calmly.
"Wait, I don't have to listen to you; I don't obey you!" InuYasha said haughtily, pushing his nose into the air and crossing his arms.
"Oh, you'll listen to me or I might just accidentally let it slip that you just happen to always be sneaking off to watch Kagome-sama bathe! You ought to be ashamed of yourself…I still never thought I'd meet you doing such a dishonorable thing!" Miroku smirked.
"Like you should talk…" InuYasha mumbled.
He looked flustered, angry, and then just angry.
"Fine… only for the rest of today right?" he growled through clenched teeth.
"Right. Until sunset you'll have to say that after every sentence to every person you meet up with… and when I say everyone, I mean everyone… except me of course… oh and you can't explain our little game to anyone," Miroku stated happily.
"Starting when?" asked InuYasha, annoyance still obvious on his face.
"Starting… now," Miroku stated with a grin as he spotted a certain raven-haired, blue-gray eyed girl heading towards them.
InuYasha didn't spot her, since his back was turned to her…
…and he still looked ticked off.
Miroku smiled charmingly and turned to InuYasha for a second with a look that said: 'Don't forget our promise or your little secret will be out in the open before you can say "Osuwari"'.
Another minute and the monk resumed his glance at the little dirt path ahead of them where the girl from the future was still making her way towards the two.
"Good morning Kagome-sama", he called out politely with a wave looking over InuYasha's shoulder.
Oh yeah… the look on InuYasha's face was priceless.
The guy with red clothes swallowed audibly, turning around with, what he hoped was, an innocent smile on his face.
Kagome smiled brightly and offered a polite good morning to the two.
Miroku looked like a little boy about to rip open a Christmas present.
"Well InuYasha, aren't you going to say something to Lady Kagome? You're being rather rude," Miroku said with a smile.
Kagome smiled, "InuYasha never was much of a morning person".
"Keh," InuYasha snorted. He could say that all he wanted. It wasn't really considered a word…so he didn't have to use that stupid little phrase Miroku forced upon him.
"So rude," Miroku sighed and lowered his head as a smirk crossed his features.
So he didn't want to talk now…that was okay…he'd have to talk eventually.
Miroku shrugged and acted as if he was off headed towards the village when in fact, he hid in a bush; to watch the scene unfold; InuYasha couldn't break his promise if he was watching…and he knew InuYasha sensed his holy aura.
Kagome turned to InuYasha, a smile still plastered naturally to her face.
"Hey InuYasha do you mind if I go home for a bit, just a day or so," she asked eagerly with a hint of nervousness in her tone.
He smirked and opened his mouth, about to reply, when he felt a familiar aura close by.
His smirk quickly turned into a frown.
"InuYasha?" Kagome asked again.
Still, the half demon stayed quiet.
A couple more moments of silence went by.
The only sound in the area was the wind.
Now she was getting mad.
"Don't ignore me InuYasha!" she demanded.
'Ditzy one, ain't she? Took her all that time to figure out I was ignoring her?'
InuYasha turned, pushing his back to face her… trying to avoid her…but then he heard her walking away…towards the well.
He growled, turned and grabbed the back of her collar.
She, in turn, growled a human equivalent to his.
"Let me go," Kagome stated rather calmly…an eerie calm…like the calm before a storm…or the calm at the center on the storm, which was much worse. Yup, definitely the eye of the hurricane.
"Not until you calm down and agree with me that it's best for you to stay here--" he stated as he spotted Miroku and continued "in my pants".
Oh, Kami, what did he just say?
He looked rather nervously at Kagome's back…watching her form start to tremble just slightly with anger.
He heard Miroku snickering in the bushes, barely containing his laughter.
Moron…
Now… what to do… ?
Slowly, InuYasha let go of Kagome's collar and attempted to smooth it before tapping it and backing away to place his hands nervously behind his back.
Kagome seemed to relax slightly before uttering a single word with soft tone.
A word with way too much power.
"Sit"
And he obeyed with a loud crash.
"Stupid wench…" he mumbled until an odd weight hit him, Miroku's little reminder in the form of a rock to the head. "IN. MY. PANTS!" he continued.
As he yelled it, he realized that now she would think of it as a demand of some sort.
Crap.
"Sit", she said again with a little more anger in her tone.
Again, a loud crash was heard and the hanyou was deeper in the dirt.
"Fine…go ahead and leave, I'll find someone else to help me in my pants", he yelled annoyed. What was the point of delaying the word anymore? He'd have to say it anyway…might as well get used to it.
She looked so mad; she didn't even bother throwing another 'sit' at him. She just turned on her heel and headed back to the victory.
"Keh", he stated as he stood up and dusted himself off.
He turned towards Miroku's hiding place, to find the monk stumbling out of the bush in a loud gasping laugh.
He just narrowed his eyes and kept walking…willing for the day to be over.
But this day promised to be quite long.
Miroku followed him after he was able to stand up straight without clutching his stomach and they headed back towards the village.
"Only you would be so stupidly perverted to think of a punishment like this," grumbled InuYasha.
Miroku only laughed a little more at InuYasha's findings.
-*-
Finally, the two made it back to the village and to Kaede's hut.
Kagome sat glaring at InuYasha from the corner of the room, a slight blush covering her cheeks.
Apparently, she had been too embarrassed to say anything to anyone from what he gathered because no one was yelling at him or threatening him.
He sighed and sat across from her, with an angry glare.
She backed away further into the corner of the small room.
He 'keh'-ed and turned his head with his arms across his chest.
"I ain't gonna hurt you in my pants," he said softly.
She looked at him strangely.
Dammit, everything he said sounded wrong with that at the end!
"Look, something's happening right now but I can't tell you exactly what's going on in my pants", he stated, plainly annoyed, as Miroku stood a little further behind him.
She nodded at him cautiously, as someone rushed in the hut.
She stopped for only a moment inhaling a gulp of air before continuing.
"InuYasha, your brother's here", Sango yelled.
What? He didn't even sense him! Probably too caught in the moment with constantly searching for Miroku's holy aura to notice any evil approaching.
The said inu hanyou, left the room as the others followed him to a clearing in the forest.
"Sesshomaru…" "ahem" "…in my pants", InuYasha finished off, after the cough from Miroku.
The Lord of the Western Lands looked slightly confused.
"Dear brother, what might be in your pants? From what I guess, nothing much…" the full inu youkai stated calmly.
InuYasha's eyes were smoldering with anger.
Now his brother was making jokes, was he?
A new approach to anger his little brother.
"At least I got something in my pants," InuYasha smirked. That worked out well… no embarrassment there.
"Indeed, and just what would that be? Socks?" asked his older brother.
Alright, enough with the pants jokes…
"At least I don't have your ugly face…in…my…pants…" InuYasha looked slightly nauseous.
It still turned out to be a pants joke.
And not one he would particularly like to dwell on.
"I'm quite thankful for that as well… but according to your miko, I don't have an ugly face at all, not with the way she's looking at me…must be sick of you already, looking for a new toy, girl?" Sesshomaru asked with a smirk as he tilted his head.
InuYasha turned around to glare at Kagome, until he realized his brother's trick.
"Very funny…in my pants", InuYasha said through gritted teeth and dodged his brothers attack.
"I know…it must be…" he chuckled uncharacteristically, "now give me my sword…tetsusaiga!" he yelled rushing forward.
"If you want it, you'll just have to come and get it, in my pants," InuYasha stated cockily.
Then his face faulted.
At this rate, his name will turn into a joke. He'll be known as the hanyou who wants everything and everyone in his pants.
Yeah, real funny…
…unless you were on the receiving end of the joke, that is.
Then he noticed Sesshomaru stopped.
InuYasha watched him expectantly.
A slight insulting look made its way on the youkai lord's face.
"I'm not that desperate for the rusty piece of junk," Sesshomaru said and turned calmly to walk away from the group.
InuYasha fell sideways to the ground.
Everyone behind him looked confused, until laughter broke out.
Well, it was funny.
Yeah, sure… what else could possibly happen now?
"InuYasha," said weak voice and Kikyo entered the clearing looking quite well... dead.
"Kikyo…in my pants," he said with the different soft voice he obtained while around the undead miko.
"Inu…Yasha?" she said curiously before she passed out, into the arms of the hanyou.
"Kagome, get your medicine in my pants," he said worriedly as he headed back into the hut with Kikyo in his arms.
"Right," the girl stated and ran ahead of him.
By the time he got to the hut, Kagome had everything laid out and ready for treating her former incarnate.
InuYasha laid Kikyo on the futon gently.
Kagome asked InuYasha to leave; he rolled his eyes, but did as he was told.
She then quickly set about undressing the girl, with the help of Sango and Kaede, her eyes searching for open wounds or bruises.
When she found none, she became curious.
Suddenly the resurrected female abruptly opened her eyes, grabbed Kagome's wrist, and brought her accidentally tumbling.
Kagome shrieked and InuYasha and Miroku ran in to see… a topless Kikyo and Kagome sprawled on top of her…
InuYasha blinked and promptly turned pink, his eyes, however, remained glued to the scene before him.
He was male, after all.
"Oh my Buddha… dreams do come true! BoA was right!" stated Miroku absorbing the sight before him.
Kagome looked positively vicious and Kikyo was as emotionless as ever.
The reincarnation jumped away from the other miko, looking like an angry tomato while
Kaede and Sango ushered the males out of the room so the other girl could get dressed.
Not long after the boys made it out of the room, a very annoyed looking Kagome busted out of the same place.
Yeah, from one bad situation into another…
She stopped, facing the two boys, who seemed to look at her in a different light.
Then the sound of clapping rang in the air…
Miroku.
"Lady Kagome, I must thank you…with your help I've achieved one of my life goals."
Kagome looked disgusted.
He was worse than she had thought!
She snorted and found her way around the monk.
"I'm surrounded by ecchi retards", she muttered as she passed.
As she left the room, she caught InuYasha's glance from the corner of her eye.
Not him too!
Should have known better, especially now that he has a set of new favorite words.
Can't believe he said it to Kikyo too!
Well, two can play that game. But only for so long.
Excellent.
And a plan was forming in the girl's head.
-*-
Kagome made her way back to the hut after strolling the forest a while. She had calmed down a lot, which is what she'd set out to do in the first place.
Now her plan was well thought out and ready to put in action.
End chap 1
I've decided to make this a two chapter thing instead of a straight out one shot because there is just too much to jam in. Anyways, please review!
Muah ha ha ha, if u don't review I won't finish…
*Shrugs* Hey, and if you like it enough, I might make a sequel…
Yes… would anyone like to see Sesshomaru stuck in that situation?