Chapter 1 - The Selection of Istari

Valinor, TA 1050

A Dangerous Mission

"I don't want to go. I'm not strong enough, and I'm afraid of him." said Gandalf.

Saruman and Alatar exchanged a look. Even Radagast, who was gentle and timid, wasn't afraid of Morgoth's most powerful servant.

Manwë sighed. "Each of you was chosen for a reason. You are more able to defeat Sauron Gorthaur than are the mightiest among the Valar."

Yavanna, one of the few among the Valar who spent time in Arda, was the first to sense the Shadow growing in Mirkwood. She thought it might be Sauron taking form again, and proposed a mission to Arda to deal with him. Aulë chose Saruman to lead it.

"Sauron is extremely dangerous. The Valar may have hand-selected each of the five Istari, the Wizards, but except for Saruman, none of us is particularly wise or strong." said Gandalf.

Saruman stood up a little straighter. It was true, he was the most powerful Maia among the Istari. All the others were ordinary members of their households, but after Sauron left, Saruman was the first among Aulë's remaining Maia.

Gandalf went on. "If you really want to defeat Sauron, send those who are great among the Maiar. Eönwë is the mightiest swordsman in Ea. Ossë is almost as strong, and he's aggressive and fearless. Or send the Valar who subdued Morgoth, like Tulkas, Oromë, and Aulë."

"I don't want to repeat the mistakes of Beleriand. We used overwhelming force against Morgoth, and it worked, but the damage to Arda was too great." said Manwë.

"Do you want us to arrest him when we find him?" asked Saruman.

Saruman imagined his adversary cowering before them. He thought the five of them could subdue him easily. Saruman had helped Aulë forge Angainor, the chain of oppression used on Morgoth. He wondered if Aulë would make a chain for them to use on Sauron.

"Your mission isn't to arrest him. It's to contain him and prevent his influence from spreading." said Manwë.

Aulë stepped forward. "Don't try to capture him. He's too dangerous. He has many faults, far more than I knew, but cowardice isn't one of them. He's a fighter, and he's stubborn. Even if the situation was hopeless, he'd resist you as long as he was still breathing."

Manwë agreed. "You will not confront Sauron directly. It is not your place to subdue him with force. This time, our approach will be subtle. You will advise the Free People, and give them hope."

"So you have no plan to arrest him or have him stand trial? We're just going to limit his influence? He committed terrible crimes, and nothing bad is going to happen to him?" Saruman was puzzled.

"Oh, yes it will." said Manwë. His face was grim.

Saruman didn't know how he felt about that.

Head Of The Order

Saruman wasn't surprised when he was named Head of the Istari, but he was surprised by the reason. As Gandalf pointed out, he was the oldest and wisest among them, and as one of Aulë's people, he was the only one who could understand the inner workings of the Ring.

But while those things were important, they chose Saruman because they thought, since he was Sauron's brother[1], he among them knew Sauron best.

In His Shadow

Actually, Saruman didn't know Sauron well at all, even though they grew up together.

Saruman wondered why they'd never been close. Their personalities were similar. They were both creative, with a love of order and control. And Sauron wasn't much older than he was.

But Sauron's closest friends were Eönwë and Ilmarë and Ossë. The four of them were First Maiar to the four most powerful Valar. They formed a group which Saruman could never hope to join. They spent all their free time together, and knew all of each other's secrets. On the other hand, Saruman couldn't remember a single occasion when he and Sauron had ever discussed anything private or meaningful.

Once, when Saruman was young, he went upstairs in the middle of the day to get something from the apprentices' dormitory. A dozen or more of them slept in the long attic room, and their beds were crammed together any way they'd fit. Saruman's bed was next to Sauron's, so close it was almost touching.

When Saruman entered the room, he saw Sauron lying face down on his bed, obviously upset about something. Saruman wanted to ask what was the matter, but he knew from experience he'd get no answer, not even a muffled 'Go away!' Probably Aulë had beaten him, or a girl he liked had rejected him.

Saruman knelt beside his own bed and felt underneath it for the box that contained his treasures. He found what he wanted, closed the box, and returned it to its place under his bed. Then he got up to go, without ever saying a word.

When they were young, Saruman lived in Sauron's shadow. Aulë made no secret that Sauron was his favorite. Saruman was relieved when Sauron left to follow Morgoth in Rebellion. Without the competition, Saruman came into his own, and flourished.

But even after Sauron was gone, he still got all the attention. 'Why did he leave? How could someone so responsible have rebelled? We never saw it coming.' Saruman was still living in Sauron's shadow.

But although Sauron was his rival and Saruman wanted him gone, he didn't actually want anything bad to happen to him. He still remembered that terrible day at the end of the Second Age, when Aulë gathered his people together to tell them Sauron had been killed. Saruman didn't expect to be much affected by the news, but he went off by himself for the rest of the day, and he couldn't eat his dinner that night.

[1] Strictly speaking, Maiar aren't born, and they don't have parents. But Sauron and Saruman had been brother-apprentices in the Mansions of Aulë, where Sauron was First Maia and Saruman was Second.