So this is how its come out? years and years of struggle wasted. as my life flashes through my eyes, i see them, the ones i let down, my freinds, my family, the one i loved the most in this world...
I guess i should share what i'm seeing with you all. this is my life...from where i guess it all started. From the pain, the loneliness, the desire, to the last moments i stayed who i am. so much in just a few years.
So to start, i was turning 17, my daily plans would go as such; firsts i would wake up, begrudgingly greet my mother and step father, eat a small breakfast, go to my room and blast my music. From there i'd spend hours on my computer, enjoying various channels. around lunch i would go downstairs again, this time either running into my step grandfather or one of my brothers. i was never much to socialize, often forcing a smile while i'm in there presence. as soon as i ate i would go upstairs again to work out for a while. Putting weights in a cloths sack, often using it to do intense squats, sit ups, push ups, and other various exercises to tone my core. i wasn't much of a muscle guy but i did enjoy the relaxing feeling of sweating, my muscles burning after a good hour of my workout. i would talk to people online, then as dinner rolled along, silently ate, not trying to pull up conversation with my siblings, having a family of 9 dint help. My sisters, all older where tolerable, but my brothers insufferable. as i went for bed, i would just listen to music as i had insomnia, not getting much sleep was normal for me, staying up between 2 to 4 in the morning, sometimes just pulling all nighters. i would listen to my step grandfather's terrible taste in cop shows. As he would channel suf, he would pause at the static. I don't know what it was about me, but i just stared at the static, finding ease, some nights he would fall asleep with the static on, those are nights i would stay up...just staring at the screen, getting lost in the melody of melancholy.
Soon i would begin seeing things again as i always have. I never really told my family of these silhouettes and blurs i would see, though i would spasm out, even over react from them. from large insects to people, all black...sometimes it would be whispers i would hear. As my house was supposedly haunted so said my parents, i just assumed it was spirits, as my family all had some encounter with the other side. most notably my little brother, whom has spoken to our deceased grandmother, and learned from her things only those that have talked to her could know, and oddly, she died a year after i was born, so my little brother could never have known if not it being supernatural.
Well back to me, as i was saying the sights have been...growing darker each day, sometimes i would dream vividly of my body, being rotted, burned, stabbed, mutilated in ways i couldn't even describe without giving it proper justice. i would see these...things, i cant think of a word for them, as they didn't even resemble much of anything. Often they had wings, black and red, glazed in what looked like blood, rusted from time; large fangs,and black shadowy skin, almost like it wasnt even there, just...melted into nothing if you looked at one. I decided the only thing i could call them were dream eaters, as they seemed to enjoy torturing me as i slept. These plaques would only cease when i would encounter what should be noted as a lion, one with a golden mane, twice the size of a normal lion. It would speak to me and it said it is the last of its kind, a species of dream dwelling beasts. His fallen comrades, all protectors of the dreamers. eons and eons since birth. He told me i was a key of some sort. i would wake up, tired, and covered in sweat after each nightmare, but with the lion, i felt a sense of warmth inside, a feeling i wanted to cherish...