Yep, I have another competition story. I know I said I was tired of writing these but a while ago I promised to write another user one of these stories for reasons I can't quite remember. So if anything that doesn't seem like "Me" happens in this story, you know why. Now, it's not a sequel to Winners or Losers so I hope you don't mind that. Anyway, you can read the story now if you'd like. I haven't really got much else to say.
The sun shined over the closed down exterior of the abandoned film lot that Canadian television program Total Drama had occupied during its second and most recent seasons. It seemed to be in a state of worse disrepair than usual. In front of the locked gates stood Chris McLean and his towering co-host Chef Hatchet. The camera zoomed itself in towards the main host's face.
"Welcome back Total Drama fans!" Chris announced. "It's been too long, hasn't it?"
Chris and Chef began walking along the outside perimeter to the film studio.
"Our last season was Total Drama Pahkitew Island which brought in some new faces." Chris recapped. "And the season before that we had Total Drama All-Stars where some of our best contestants, and Sam, competed. Well, this is the first season to combine all three of our casts. So say hello to... Total. Drama. Champions!"
Chris stopped walking and threw his hands up in the air for dramatic effect.
"Basically, what that means is… Uh… What it means…" Chris struggled to find the words.
"The producers picked out the contestants that test groups reacted the best and got 'em back for another show." Chef explained.
"Yeah, that. But saying 'Total Drama Champions' is way catchier." Chris said. "And we're doing the season here back at the old abandoned film lot!"
"Still don't get why we're back here." Chef commented. "Y'know there's a reason we only did it once."
"We've got budget cuts. It costs a lot to resurface Wawanakwa and apparently the guys we were renting from Pahkitew Island charge a lot." Chris explained. "And don't talk back to me again."
"All right, all right, fine." Chef said. "Carry on."
Chris looked back into the camera.
"So get ready for some lights, camera, and of course action once this season's competitors get here in Total. Drama. Champions!" Chris announced.
(Theme Song)
The camera faded in on Chris and Chef as they stood in the same positions they were last left off in.
"You think we've paused long enough?" Chris wondered.
"Yeah, that'll about do it." Chef agreed.
Chris glanced back at the cameras that were filming him.
"Okay, here comes the big bus now!" Chris announced. "Say hello to our newest batch of victims, uh I mean… No, you know what, I'm gonna stick with victims."
An old beat up bus that looked as if it should have been put in a scrapyard years ago pulled up to the studio.
"Jeez, even by our standards this thing's a piece of crap." Chef commented.
"Eh, are you really surprised?" Chris asked.
"No, not really." Chef admitted.
"Anyway, let's meet this season's contestants!" Chris announced.
The doors to bus opened and a scuffling of feet was heard from inside. The first person to disembark from the bus was Justin.
"That's right, I'm here!" Just cheered. "Please, feel free to bask in my glory."
"Justin, keepin' it humble, I see." Chris joked.
"Hey man, I'm a model. I have every right to show off." Justin bragged.
He flexed one of his arms at the camera.
"Yeah, sure, whatever." Chris said. "Go wait for everyone else please."
(Confessional: Justin)
"I'll admit it; I've been out of this whole reality TV game for a while." Justin confessed. "But I think I've got a real shot at making it far for several reasons. Number one, I'm smoking hot. Number two…. Uh… Hang on, I thought of this whole thing before I came in here."
After Justin, the next person to step down from the bus was Cameron. The bubble boy waved at the hosts once he spotted them.
"Um, hello there." Cameron said.
"Cameron, good to have you back." Chris greeted him.
"Oh, uh, thank you very much." Cameron remarked. "You know, I don't think I've watched very many movies before so this should be interesting."
"Uh huh, that's nice." Chris said, clearly not caring. "Hey, I never got to ask this last time, but what did being in a full body cast feel like? It must've felt pretty weird, right?"
"I don't have to take this, you know." Cameron told him.
Cameron walked over to the rest.
"C'mon man, don't be like that." Chris marked "I like getting on people's nerves. It's fun."
(Confessional: Cameron)
"I've had a pretty good track record in this game." Cameron remarked. "First season and I made the finals and I'm confident I would have made it to at least the final four in All-Stars if it wasn't for that injury. So I'm pretty confident in my abilities in this season."
"Oh, you are so right about that, Chris." A familiar male voice from inside the bus commented.
Out from the bus stepped Topher.
"Great to be back on the show!" Topher cheered. "Wow, I'm gonna have so much fun this season. Watch out world: Topher's here!"
"Speaking of getting on people's nerves, Topher's here!" Chris announced.
"Haha, good one, Chris." Topher remarked.
"Seriously? I just insulted you." Chris pointed out.
"Yes, but it was still a good one." Topher replied.
"Y'know, I admire your persistence." Chris admitted. "If I was you, I would've given up being a fan of me a long time ago."
"Thank you, I admire my persistence all the time." Topher said.
He took his position between Cameron and Justin.
(Confessional: Topher)
"I think I figured out what went wrong the last time I was here." Topher remarked. "I was just a bit too self-centred. But hey, you can't stop me from being myself entirely. Seriously though, I'm going to make a better effort this time."
"So who's next?" Chris wondered.
As soon as he finished talking, Sierra got out of the bus.
"Wow! I can't believe it!" Sierra cheered. "I get to actually be part of a season that takes place on the Total Drama film lot. Eee!"
"Sierra, welcome to the show." Chris told her. "I take it you feel excited."
Sierra nodded rapidly.
"You betcha." Sierra confirmed. "This time I'm going to make it all the way to the end."
"Sure, tell yourself whatever." Chris said.
Sierra walked over to the rest of the arrived contestants.
(Confessional: Sierra)
"Okay, so, last time I was on the show I sorta relapsed into being all Cody-crazy." Sierra admitted. "I still think the two of us might have a chance together, but that's not the point. The point is, I'm keeping my head in the game this time."
The next person to step down from the bus was Anne Maria.
"All right, I'm feelin' good 'bout this one." Anne Maria remarked.
"And here comes our resident hair enthusiast." Chris told the audience before turning to the new arrival. "How do you feel Anne"
"Confident. I packed extra hairspray and spray tan and after last season, I feel like there ain't nothin' I can do." Anne Maria said.
"Ever heard of hubris?" Chris asked.
"Ah, stop makin' up words." Anne Maria told him.
She went past Chris and over to the rest of the contestants.
(Confessional: Anne Maria)
"Did I quit my last season 'cause of a diamond? Yeah, I did. Ain't akin' that mistake again." Anne Maria said. "This time, Anne's gonna go far."
After a few more moments, Amy stepped off the bus.
"Ugh, I still can't believe I have to be on another season." Amy grumbled. "I don't even like reality TV you know."
"Glad to see you too, Amy." Chris jokingly remarked.
"Oh, just shut up." Amy told him.
"Have fun stirring up drama again." Chris said.
"Oh, I will." Amy replied.
(Confessional: Amy)
"You know I kind of hate being on this show." Amy admitted. "Nothing good comes out of it for me. But at the very least, I don't have to deal with Samey this season."
Amy went over to the rest of the competitors.
"How many more people are on that bus?" Chris wondered.
"There are eighteen contestants and six are out here. Do the math." Chef told him.
"Jeez, why're you so cranky this season?" Chris remarked.
"I didn't get enough sleep last night." Chef explained. "Now c'mon, get on with the show."
"Wait, do you guys want me to get off the bus?" A male voice asked from the inside of the vehicle.
"Yeah, that'd be great." Chris replied.
After a few more seconds, Tyler began walking down the steps of the bus. However, he tripped halfway through and fell straight to the ground.
"Yep, I saw that one coming." Chris remarked.
Tyler got up from the ground and dusted himself off.
"I'm okay everybody, I'm okay." Tyler announced. "Anywho, It's real great to be back on the show for a third time. Woo!"
"Take it easy, you only just got here." Chris pointed out.
"Sorry, it's just this time I'm gonna make all the way to the end." Tyler bragged. "You believe me, right?"
"Yeah, sure." Chris replied. "Let's just move things along. Don't want the episode to run too long."
(Confessional: Tyler)
"I know, I got kicked off before the merge twice." Tyler said. "But I'm not letting that stop me. I've been preparing for this show, all right. I even took up some new sports. Turns out, cricket is surprisingly fun to play."
Chris looked back over at the bus just in time to see DJ getting down from it.
"Um, hey there, Chris." DJ greeted, attempting to smile.
"DJ, welcome back." Chris said. "Up for a high five."
Chris held up his hand, expecting a yes.
"Uh, no thanks. I'm good." DJ told him.
"No problem. Anyway, have a good time and don't kill any animals by accident this time." Chris told him.
"Man, that's not funny." DJ told him.
"Eh, it's kinda is." Chris remarked.
(Confessional: DJ)
"I don't really wanna win, to be honest." DJ admitted. "I just wanna make it in the game long enough to make my mama proud."
The cameras focused on the doors to the bus but oddly it seemed as if nobody had gotten off. After a few seconds, the cameras panned downwards to see Max standing at the foot of the bus.
"Haha! Tremble, mortals!" Max declared. "This time it shall be I who wins this competition!"
"Oh, great, Max is here." Chris said, sounding interested. "Chef, why did we bring him back?"
Chef simply shrugged.
"Silence fools!" Max commanded. "You may mock me now but you'll be sorry when you're crushed under my iron boot."
"Uh huh, right, whatever you say." Chris brushed Max's comments off.
"Grr..." Max growled as he approached the other contestants.
(Confessional: Max)
"Oh, they may see me as a joke, but I'll show them. I'll show them all!" Max declared. "When I'm in the finale holding that million dollar suitcase I'll be the one laughing at them."
Once Max was with the others, Lightning stepped off the bus.
"Sha-yeah!" Lightning cheered. "The Lightning's back, baby!"
"Why is everybody so energetic this season?" Chris wondered. "I can't be the only one who thinks that's weird."
"Hey man, I'm just happy the be here." Lightning told Chris. "And I'm happy to win this season. Sha-boom!"
"Uh huh, right, sure." Chris replied.
"Anyway, Lightning's done talking." Lightning said. "He wants to get to the challenge so he ain't gonna hold things up."
Lightning walked up to the rest of the contestants.
(Confessional: Lightning)
"Lightning can't quite figure out what he did right back on Revenge of the Island." Lightning admitted. "But whatever it was, he's gonna try to do it again and go all the way to the finale!"
After a few seconds of waiting, the next person to get down from the bus was Sky.
"All right, I'm here and I'm ready for action." Sky proclaimed. "Watch out world, because Sky's gonna win."
"See what I mean?" Chris asked his co-host. "Everybody's too optimistic. I would've thought I crushed that by now."
"You okay?" Sky asked Chris.
"Oh, right, you're here." He remembered, turning to Sky. "Welcome to the show, Sky. How are you doing?"
"I've been training." Sky replied. "And rewatching old episodes of this show to come up with strategies. So I'm totally gonna with this."
(Confessional: Sky)
"I don't wanna sound, y'know, boastful or anything." Sky began. "But I'm in great shape and I'm smart. I think I really have a shot. As long as Dave isn't here. He's really bad at handling rejection and I don't even want to think about how he'd react to seeing me again."
As Sky went over to the others, Jo stepped out of the bus. She silently scanned her competition with her eyes.
"So this is what I'm up against, huh." Jo remarked to herself. "Don't think I'll have that hard a time."
"You definitely sound sure of yourself." Chris said. "Even though you haven't actually made it to any of the finales yet."
"Shut up." Jo told the host.
"Uh huh, sure." Chris replied. "Anyway, let's just hurry up, okay. According to the producers we don't have enough in the budget for a two-parter."
"Fine." Jo said as she joined the growing crowd of contestants.
(Confessional: Jo)
"Listen, I know people are always saying that being too arrogant is a bad thing." Jo began. "And sure, maybe it kinda led to me getting eliminated twice. But so what? This time, I'm damn sure I can win that million dollars."
Right after the flash of static from the confessional faded away, the cameras showed Cody getting down from the bus.
"Hi everyone!" Cody waved to the cameras. "Ladies."
Cody winked at the crowd.
"Hey, Cody!" Sierra cheered. "We can talk later!"
"Oh... Great..." Cody trailed off.
"Cody, gonna be honest, you were not my first choice." Chris admitted. "I wanted to some more Owen. Apparently, test audiences really like you for some reason."
"Ah, C'mon, I'm a charmer, right?" Cody said. "That's why they wanted me back."
"I just don't see you as 'Champion' material." Chris remarked. "You agree with me, right Chef?"
"We can talk 'bout this later." Chef said.
"I'll just go wait with the rest." Cody said as he made his way over to the others.
(Confessional: Cody)
"I still have not had a girlfriend." Cody admitted. "But hey, this season, that's all gonna change... Just as long as that girlfriend isn't Sierra."
The next person seen getting off the bus was Shawn.
"Here again, huh." Shawn remarked. "Not too shabby. As long as I keep away from the Z word I should be fine."
"Really? Still afraid of zombies?" Chris asked.
"I go into full-on freak-out mode a lot less I'll have you know." Shawn told him.
"Oh, we'll see." Chris said. "I'll get you to crack."
"Man, you're so weird sometimes." Shawn remarked as he went over to the rest of the competitors.
(Confessional: Shawn)
"I feel like before my problem is that I was too solitary in the game." Shawn theorized. "Granted, I still made it to the finale but I did have a few close calls. This time, I'm gonna align with someone and I'm gonna stick with them... Unless they turn out to be really annoying."
The next person to get out of the bus turned out to be Zoey.
"Uh, hey there." Zoey waved to the other contestants, smiling a bit. "Guess I'm back"
"Zoey, how does this feel?" Chris asked.
"I dunno." Zoey said. "Pretty good."
"Y'know you're a lot more neutral than I was expecting." Chris remarked.
"Um, thank you." Zoey replied before approaching the others.
(Confessional: Zoey)
"I sorta feel weird about how this is my first season without Mike." Zoey admitted. "But you know what, I'm my own person and I can get along just fine. Uh, no offence Mike, if you're watching this. I love you."
Next, Gwen walked down the steps to the bus and looked at the other contestants and then to Chris.
"You gonna say something?" Chris asked.
"Uh, hi I guess." Gwen replied.
"So Gwen, after being away for the last two seasons how's it feel to be back?" Chris said.
"Not really sure." Gwen told him. "Can I stop talking to you now?"
"Fine, be that way." Chris remarked as Gwen joined the group of other contestants.
(Confessional: Gwen)
"I honestly don't care about being back. Especially after how bad my experience here was last time. I'm only here because of my contract." Gwen remarked. "But at least Chris didn't bring back anyone I have some serious history with like Trent, Duncan, or Courtney."
"Okay, so we should only have two people left in there." Chris remarked. "Wonder which of this is gonna come out next."
At that moment Scott descended the steps to the bus.
"Huh, that film studio from season two." Scott observed. "Woulda thought you'd try somewhere new."
"C'mon man, we had budget cuts." Chris argued. "So don't complain."
"Yeah, yeah, whatever." Scott said, walking past Chris and over to the others.
(Confessional: Scott)
"I gotta admit, I don't have a real strategy here." Scott confessed. "I figure if I go with the flow then things will work out for me."
"All right, this means we've only got one person left." Chris said. "Thank god."
The last person who got down from the steps of the bus was Dave. The bus doors promptly closed behind him and the vehicle sped off, causing a cloud of exhaust to puff up. Dave accidentally inhaled some of the exhaust and began coughing violently.
"Ugh, gross." Dave finally said once the coughing went away.
"Dave, glad you could make it." Chris told him. "Now we can finally get this show on the road."
"Oh, all right." Dave replied. "Oh great... This place definitely looks... Germy."
"You'd be right, buddy." Chris told him. "We never hired a janitor for this place to save money."
"Oh... Yay..." Dave trailed off.
(Confessional: Dave)
"I saw Sky was one of the returning contestants." Dave said. "Ugh... Ever since she ruined my life last season I've kinda had a grudge against her. Let's just hope we're on different teams."
"All right, now that all of you are back we can get into the actual exciting part." Chris explained. "We already have pre-determined teams that we're splitting you up into."
"Are you splitting us up randomly or did you choose the teams yourself?" Zoey asked.
"You ask too many questions." Chris said.
"Oh, uh... Sorry." Zoey replied, sounding unsure.
"Anyway, our first team is consists of Cameron, Cody, Sky, Jo, Tyler, Amy, Shawn, Lightning, and Gwen!" Chris listed off. "You shall be known as... The Demented Directors!"
The group of mentioned competitors split off from the others. A green circle with a megaphone in the centre of it briefly appeared above the heads of the new team.
"So we're doing film-based team names, huh?" Jo remarked. "Seems kinda corny."
"Oh, what do you know." Chris said before turning to the other contestants. "The rest of you, that's DJ, Justin, Scott, Sierra, Max, Anne Maria, Topher, Dave, and Zoey, you are now... The Irritable Actors!"
A yellow circle with the traditional laughing mask and crying mask in the middle of it appeared above the brand new team.
"Feel like we kinda got screwed in the names department." Anne Maria commented.
"Stop complaining." Chris told her. "Our writers spent like, five minutes coming up with these names."
"So are we gonna go see where we're saying now?" Tyler asked.
"Nope, no time for that." Chris told him.
"Seriously?" Gwen asked.
"Like I said, we don't have the budget for any two-parters." Chris explained. "Now c'mon, get in the tour cart and it's on to the first challenge!"
A beat-up tour bus drove over to the group. It clearly had seen better days with the obvious chipped paint, tape over several holes, and smoke coming from the engine.
"We also don't have the budget for a proper tour bus." Chris added.
(Confessional: Shawn)
"I don't know much about money laundering." Shawn began. "But with how shoddily built everything around here looks, I think this season might be some kind of money laundering scheme."
A few minutes later, the contestants, as well as Chris and Chef, had piled into the tour bus and were being driven around the film lot by one of the interns.
"Now, I'm sure you're all really excited." Chris said.
"You bet we are!" Topher cheered.
"That's great, but first, let's go over some fun new rules." Chris told the competitors. "We're bringing back immunity idols. But this time we're bringing in three! First, there's the standard wooden Chris idol. You know how this one works by now. It keeps you from being eliminated if you play it."
"Get to the point." Jo told him.
"Fine, how about this." Chris began. "The Silver Idol lets you take someone else's vote away from the final tally and the Gold Idol lets your own vote count as two. Just a quick disclaimer, the gold and silver idols are not made of actual gold and silver. But it looks like they are."
"Seems kinda confusing." Shawn remarked.
"Look, this season runs on a simple philosophy. If it was suggested by our writers, we use it." Chris explained. "So stop complaining. Anyway, I'm sure those of you were involved in season two remember what our main gimmick was."
"Movies, right." Cody said. "I wasn't there but it looked pretty fun."
"Right you are. But now we're combining the movies with a something new." Chris said. "Our new gimmick is... Virtual reality! That's right, we now have the technology to create challenges inside fun, interactive virtual worlds where it feels like you're actually there."
"Eee! This is gonna be so much fun!" Sierra squealed.
"I suppose this advance in technology is quite exciting." Cameron agreed.
"I dunno, I would've said 'Scary'." Shawn remarked.
"Well Shawn, you're wrong. It's fun." Chris told him. "In fact, we're nearing the studio with the virtual reality machine already. So get ready, because the challenge is gonna start soon."
The tour bus parked outside a warehouse with the number seventeen painted on the outside.
"Ta-da! Here we are!" Chris announced. "Now get in there and this challenge can begin."
Moments later, the teams had followed Chris and Chef into the warehouse. It was empty except for the metallic chairs lining the wall. On each chair was a helmet with a distinctly futuristic look to it and at the centre of the room was a large blocky machine with plenty of levers, buttons, switches, and screens on it."
"Wow, pretty nice setup you got." Justin commented.
"Yep, most of this season's budget went into making sure these were in working order." Chris bragged.
"You say that like it's a good thing literally everything else is in terrible condition." Gwen remarked.
"Look, it's my show, my rules." Chris said.
"This is gonna be so much fun." Topher remarked.
"Now, after much brainstorming in the writers' room, those hacks- Uh, I mean, lovely people, came up with a rather nautical challenge for us to use." Chris began. "Our first challenge will be of the sea-themed variety."
"Which movie are ya gonna use?" Lightning asked.
"Thank you for asking." Chris replied. "You will be the world of the pirate movie series Pirates of the Carribean! Well, actually Disney wouldn't let use anything that was in their movies so it's just the pirate genre in general. But you get the point."
(Confessional: Max)
"Haha, pirates are some of histories greatest supervillains if you think about it." Max said. "I was most amused when Chris told us about the challenge."
"Here's how the challenge works. Each team is a pirate crew and the way you win is by finding a hidden treasure." Chris explained. "Isn't that gonna be fun. Especially for me to watch."
"Where's the treasure exactly?" Dave asked.
"It wouldn't be fun if I told you, now would it." Chris remarked. "Don't worry though, you each get a treasure map. Well, you each get half a treasure map. Anyway, that's all there is to it. Hope you have fun."
The contestants sat down in the various chairs around the warehouse as the hosts approached the machine in the middle.
"Ready Chef?" Chris asked.
"You bet." Chef replied. "Here we go."
Chris pressed a few buttons on the machine and Chef pulled a lever.
(Confessional: Amy)
"I'm not that big on video games so this whole virtual reality gimmick seemed kinda stupid to me." Amy commented. "Ugh, especially a pirate-themed challenge. Pirates are so gross. Ugh, especially their teeth."
Inside the virtual world, the scene focused on the members of the members of the Irritable Actors standing on a dock while dressed in late 1600's or early 1700's attire. The contestants attempted to get their bearings by looking around. There were stalls selling various foods, but mostly fish, and several larger lining the pier.
"Okay team, here's what we do." Topher began. "First-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Who said you got to be the leader?" Zoey interrupted.
"Well, I exactly didn't see anybody else step up." Topher reasoned. "Any takers for the position of 'Leader'?"
"Only I shall be worthy of the title of the leader!" Max said.
There was a long silence from the group.
"No, we're not having you in charge." Scott told Max.
"Well, since I'm not hearing any other objections, I guess I'm the leader." Topher remarked.
(Confessional: Scott)
"I would've liked to be the leader, but after establishing myself as a villain they probably wouldn't have liked that." Scott said.
(Confessional: Justin)
"Now, I want to be the leader." Justin told the camera. "But that would just paint a big target on my back. So for now, I'm just gonna lay low until my team trusts me more."
"Okay, so team, as I was saying, here's my plan." Topher began. "If we're pirates, we're going to need a boat. So let's go look for one."
"Really, what's your master plan?" Dave asked.
"Oh, I'd like to see you come up with something better." Topher told him. "C'mon, let's go find a ship."
Meanwhile, the members of the Demented Directors, wearing similar period piece outfits, found themselves on a different part of the wharf.
"Huh, this place looks pretty sweet." Tyler remarked. "Kinda like a theme park or something."
"Okay, listen up, here's what we do." Jo told the team. "We need a boat and we need to make sure it's reliable. And we also need to figure out which one of us has that treasure map half."
"Hold on, you can't just start bossing people around." Sky said.
"Fine, go ahead and tell me your plan Ms. Goody-Goody." Jo replied.
"Well, it was pretty much the same as your idea." Sky admitted.
"So it doesn't matter if I was the one who said it." Jo argued. "Now c'mon team, let's go find a ship."
"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why can't I be leader?" Shawn butted in. "I'm an expert zombie survivalist."
"He's got you there." Sky remarked.
"Yeah, no, we're not putting a crazy person in charge of the team." Jo stated.
"Hey! I'm not crazy." Shawn insisted. "I'm just prepared for everything."
"Uh, perhaps I would be better suited." Cameron volunteered.
"You seem like a nice guy, Poindexter. But you don't have the experience I do." Jo stated.
"Oh... Okay." Cameron sighed.
(Confessional: Cody)
"I really hope those guys don't do too much arguing." Cody commented. "I feel like it'll hurt our chances at winning. Like, a lot."
(Confessional: Lightning)
"Man, Lightning had a way better plan than those two." Lightning claimed. "He just... Didn't feel like sayin' it."
Meanwhile, back with the Actors, the members of that team were walking along the pier together with Topher in the front.
"Hey, uh, quick question. Does anyone here know anything about sea travel or boats?"Dave asked. "And for that matter where are we even going right now?"
"Why is everybody questioning me right now?" Topher wondered. "I know exactly what I'm doing."
"Hmmph, really then?" Max remarked. "So tell me, where are you taking us exactly?"
"Right here!" Topher gestured up to a sign that read "Ships For Sale" that hung from a nearby shop.
"Huh, that's actually kinda impressive." DJ admitted.
"'Kay... How did you know this was here?" Anne Maria asked.
"I didn't." Topher admitted. "But I figured that if we walked long enough we'd find something. Chris wouldn't let us be totally helpless. C'mon, into the shop, everyone."
(Confessional: Dave)
"I kinda hate the fact that Topher was right back there." Dave said. "But on the other hand, it was kinda amazing how his lack of a plan actually worked."
The Actors entered the shop Topher had lead them to. The entire shop seemed to be made of wood and had many shelves lined with model ships. Behind a counter in the back of the shop stood a short bearded man.
"Ahoy there!" The shopkeeper called over to the group. "Lookin' for a boat, I take it?"
"Well, why else would we be here." Zoey remarked.
The shopkeeper chuckled.
"I like yer attitude, girlie." The shopkeeper said. "So anyway, what kind o' boat are ya in the market for?"
"Uh, the kind that floats." Sierra replied.
"They all do that, lass." The shopkeeper stated.
"We don't really know anything about boats." Scott admitted.
"Well, let's start with this. Where are you folks going?" The shopkeeper asked.
"We're treasure hunting." DJ explained. "Actually, wait, anyone here got the map Chris mentioned?"
Justin felt around in his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper that appeared to have been torn in half. He placed it down in front of
"Here you go." Justin said as he handed off the paper to the shopkeeper. "We're going wherever this leads."
The shopkeeper scrutinized the map and then turned back to the team.
"This is only half a map. It's leadin' somewhere, but wherever it is isn't there." The shopkeeper remarked. "But I guess I can get you a boat that'll survive the general area it looks like you're going."
"That's cool." Anne Maria remarked. "How much for it?"
"Uh, I'd say about four thousand doubloons." The shopkeeper estimated.
The teammates began rummaging around the various pockets on their old-timey outfits. After a few minutes, the teammates put the gold coins they fished out of their pockets down on the counter.
"That looks like it'll cover 'bout... Half of it." The shopkeeper declared.
"Well, this sucks." Scott remarked.
"Tell ya what, you can pay me back the other half when you get back with the treasure." The shopkeeper told them./
"Deal." Topher said.
(Confessional: Zoey)
"So, what I want to know is, do these people think they're real?" Zoey wondered. "Jeez, thinking you're real but not actually being real is kinda scary... I should stop thinking about it before I freak out too much."
Meanwhile, the Directors still were wandering around the wharf with Jo taking the lead. She was holding the other half of the map and studying it closely.
"Y'know guys, I feel like we got the better end of the deal here." Jo remarked. "Our map actually shows us where we need to go."
"Yeah, but it's still only half a map." Gwen pointed out. "That means we still have to figure out how to get to where this second half is on our own."
"And we still don't have a ship, man." Lightning added.
"Yes, that still is quite the big issue." Cameron added.
"Will everyone please stop criticizing me?" Jo requested. "I know what I'm doing."
"Oh really, Mrs. Know-It-All. Where can we find ourselves a boat then?" Amy asked, crossing her arms in frustration.
"Find someone who looks like they're a sailor and ask if we'll let them on their boat." Jo explained. "Like that guy over there, for example."
Jo pointed over to a tall bald man with a scar over his left eye. The intimidating man was sitting on a footstool and looking out to the ocean.
"I dunno, he looks kinda creepy." Cody pointed out. "Maybe we should go somewhere else."
"No, no, she's right. Everyone knows the zombie survivalists are smart. And all the bests zombie survivalists are grizzled old guys with scars." Shawn argued.
"See, Zombie Boy agrees with me." Jo said. "Now c'mon, follow my lead everybody."
(Confessional: Shawn)
"Y'know it's occurred to me that all this zombie talk might be alienating me." Shawn realized.
Jo began approaching the scarred man and the rest of the team followed her.
"Excuse me, can I talk to you for a moment?" Jo requested.
"Yar, what do you want, missy?" The man asked.
"You wouldn't happen to be a sailor, would you?" Jo inquired.
"'Course, I'm a sailor. Ship captain actually." The man told him. "But right now I don't have any work."
"Well, that's funny. We're actually looking for a boat." Sky explained. "Care to take us?"
"Depends. Where you headin'?" The sailor asked.
"We're looking for treasure." Jo handed the sailor her team's half of the map. "We only have part of the map but we can probably manage."
"If you gimme a share of yer treasure, I'll let you on my ship." The sailor replied.
"It's a sha-deal, bro." Lightning told him.
"Hey, I'm in charge so I'll decide." Jo said before turning to the sailor. "It's a deal."
"Excellent." The sailor replied. "Name's Seamus by the way."
"Man, what was even the point of you interruptin'... Ah, never mind." Lightning said.
(Confessional: Tyler)
"I'm not sure I like Jo that much." Tyler admitted. "It's kinda like she just wants to make everything about her."
Meanwhile, it appeared that the members of the Actors had gotten on a small ship and were out on the middle of the ocean. DJ was behind the wooden wheel of the ship with Zoey near him.
"Uh, DJ, do you know what you're doing?" Zoey nervously asked.
"Uh... Not really. But Topher put me in charge of this." DJ replied. "Besides, I'm sure Chris made it extra easy for us to do."
Sierra approached the two of them.
"Hey guys!" Sierra greeted. "They have so many bananas on this boat, can you believe it?"
"Really?" DJ asked. "How do they taste?"
"Oh, I tried one. It doesn't taste like anything really." Sierra said. "I guess it's 'cause, y'know, we're virtual."
"That's too bad. Real-life me was kinda hungry before this game started." DJ remarekd.
"Anyway, Topher told me to give you the map since you're driving." Sierra explained, holding out their team's half of the map.
"I can't be the only one who thinks it's weird how we're letting Topher be in charge." Zoey remarked.
"Why don't you like him?" Sierra asked.
"I don't know." Zoey admitted. "He just doesn't seem like leader material. Then again, neither am I really."
Meanwhile, inside the captain's quarters of the ship, Topher sat behind a desk with Max, Dave, and Scott in front of him.
"So could you guys find any maps on this ship?" Topher asked. "'Cause, I figure if we match up our half map to a whole map. we'll be set."
"Nope, nothing." Scott told him.
"I bet we would have found something if it was me in charge." Max remarked.
"How would that have changed anything?" Dave asked.
"Don't question it. It just would have." Max said.
"Hang on, where's Justin and Anne?" Topher asked.
"They said something about tanning." Scott explained. "I tried to tell them we were in a virtual world but they wouldn't listen.
"God, I bet the other team doesn't have to deal with this." Dave complained. "Stupid Sky, she gets all the luck."
(Confessional: Dave)
"I don't wanna sound like a jerk, all right." Dave said. "But my team kinda sucks. Seriously, did Chris put all the athletic people on the other team on purpose or what?"
Elsewhere out on the ocean, the Director's ship sailed across the sea. Inside the captain's quarters, Seamus sat behind a desk with Cameron, Amy, Cody, and Sky in front of him.
"All right, I've already assigned one of you to steer and several of you to lookout duty." Seamus recapped to them. "So the question is... What to do with you folks?"
"Can I do something that doesn't involve manual labour?" Amy requested. "I have a condition where if I have to do work I get really angry at you."
"You have to do something, lass." Seamus said.
Before the conversation continued there was a loud series of knocks at the door.
"Guys! You might wanna get out here, man!" Lightning yelled. "Somethin' serious looks like it just happened."
"Uh oh, that sounds bad..." Cody nervously remarked.
"Yes, it most definitely is an issue." Cameron added.
"You go check it out." Seamus told them. "I'll stay in here."
The four contestants exited the boat and the first thing they saw was a slightly larger ship sailing just next to them.
"The hell is that about!" Amy shouted.
Near the railing to their ship, the other members of the directors stood in an attempt to get a better look at the boat next to them.
"Uh, hey there!" Tyler called up to the other ship. "Are you pirates?"
"Hey! You! Whoever's up there had better state their business!" Jo yelled.
The first response to Jo's demands was the sight of Sierra peeing over the edge of the other ship.
"Oh hey guys, guess we got the same general idea about where to go." Sierra remarked. "What a funny coincidence."
"Dammit, how'd you all get the better boat?" Lightning asked.
"None of your business." Sierra said. "Anyway, have fun eating our dust when we get the treasure."
"Ha! Boat's can't kick up dust, dummy." Amy pointed out.
"Oh, well, eat our wake in that case." Sierra replied before looking up at the steering area of her boat. "Hey DJ, full steam ahead!"
"This isn't a steamboat." DJ pointed out.
"You know what I meant." Sierra told him.
Jo turned to Tyler.
"Hey, Tracksuit, does our boat have cannons?" Jo asked.
"Yep." Tyler nodded. "But I have no idea how to use them."
"Does anyone on this boat know? how" Jo said.
"Sha-nope, not even a little." Lightning replied.
"Cannons are not one of the things my doomsday manual covers." Shawn remarked.
"Uh, I do." Cameron spoke up.
"Wait, you do?" Cody asked.
"Yes." Cameron said.
"Why?" Sky asked.
"Guess everyone's gotta have a hobby." Gwen jokingly remarked.
"Actually, I haven't done it personally. But I read lots of books about it when I was bored." Cameron explained.
"Well, that'll have to be good enough. Get cracking on shooting their ship." Jo instructed him.
"Oh, sure." Cameron replied.
"I'm sorry, did I hear something about shooing us with cannons?" The Directors heard the voice of Scott asked.
After a moment, Scott stuck his head out over the railing and looked down at the opposing team.
"You guys seriously gonna do this?" Scott continued.
"Yep. Hope you're ready for some sinking." Jo told him.
(Confessional: Scott)
"I'm kinda jealous of their team." Scott admitted. "I dunno, I just feel like all the useless people got dumped onto my team."
Up on the Actors ship, the members of the team had gathered out on the main deck with the exception of DJ who was still at the wheel.
"Hey, Scott, Sierra, what's going on over there?" Anne Maria asked.
"Is it pirates?" Dave said. "Please tell me it isn't pirates."
"Nope, just the other team." Scott answered.
"Oh, that's not so bad." Justin remarked.
"And they're planning to shoot us." Sierra added.
"Why didn't you lead with that? That sounds way more important." Zoey pointed out.
"Yeah, we probably shoulda led with that." Scott admitted. "Anyway, we'd better fire back at them or something."
"Do any of you know how to use a cannon?" Topher looked over at his teammates.
"I built a Death Cannon once." Max boasted. "Of course... I never got it to work."
"Okay, anyone else?" Topher asked.
Nobody else responded to the question
"Well... That can't be good." Topher remarked.
"Anyone got any other plans for what to do?" Dave asked.
"Hey, aht's gonna on down there?" DJ called down from the helm of the ship.
"We're trying to figure out how to get rid of this other ship!" Dave shouted back up.
"Hey! DJ, what if we crashed into them?" Topher suggested. "Think that might work?"
"Uh, no, no I don't think so." DJ replied.
"Um, I'm sorry, what?!" Anne Maria exclaimed. "Topher, are ya outta your mind?!"
"Uh, to give a calmer version of what Anne Just said, that doesn't seem like a very good idea." Zoey said.
"Don't put words in my mouth, Red." Anne Maria told her. "I know what I said."
Before this conversation could continue further, the team was caught off guard by a loud exploding noise coming from nearby and their whole ship shaking.
"Crap!" Scott yelled. "I think we've been hit."
"This is most unacceptable!" Max angrily declared.
"Should someone check the damage?" Dave suggested.
"Justin, you go do that." Topher instructed him.
"What? No way." Justin declined. "Why do I have to do it?"
They were unable to argue further as there was another explosion sound and another shaking of the ship.
"Hey! DJ, we changed our mind!" Topher called up to DJ. "Crash into their boat!"
"Um... Uh, okay." DJ nervously replied.
"Uh... Is that such a good idea?" Sierra asked.
"What?!" Anne Maria exclaimed. "Topher, are you nuts!?"
(Confessional: Zoey)
"I get that split second decisions happens sometimes. But... Topher probably could've thought things out better."
Back on the Directors' boat, the team was still gathered on the main deck and from their point of view, two large holes were blasted in the side of the Actors' boat. Cameron stepped back from the cannon.
"I think that should do it." Cameron remarked.
"Wow, that was super cool, dude!" Tyler cheered.
"Don't get too overexcied." Jo remarked.
At that moment, Seamus exited the captains quarters.
"What the devil is going on out here?" Seamus asked.
"Just takin' down this enemy ship, bro." Lightning answered.
"Keep up the good work then." Seamus replied.
"Uh, guys, is their boat getting closer to our boat?" Cody wondered.
The team looked up and saw that, yes, the opposing team's ship was getting dangerously close to crashing into them.
"Oh crap..." Gwen trailed off.
"Quick! Everyone jump overboard! It's our only chance of survival." Shawn told his team.
"Are they trying to-" Sky was abruptly cut off when the Actors' ship smashing into theirs.
(Confessional: Amy)
"What the hell were they thinking!?" Amy shouted, throwing her arms up in the air. "They can't just do that!"
A little while later, on the shores of a desert island, all the contestants, as well as Seamus, were sprawled across the beach with pieces of wood and other wreckage near them. They all lay motionless for a few moments but after a while, the first to stir was Jo.
"Dammit... What happened..." Jo mumbled to herself.
She looked around and saw the other contestants. Next, she tilted her head up and saw a large treasure chest resting on a rock.
"Oh my god!" Jo exclaimed. "We actually found it! What are the chances of that?"
Jo's yelling caused Zoey to get up from the ground.
"Huh, what's going-" Zoey began before noticing the treasure chest. "Oh my gosh, guys! It's the treasure! Get up!"
"No! I'm getting this treasure!" Jo declared.
Jo stood up on the beach and began to make a run for the treasure. Zoey grabbed Jo by the ankle before she could get too far causing the jockette to fall face first into the sand. Jo spat out a mouthful of sand.
"Let go of me, you little twerp!" Jo demanded.
The commotion caused Max to stir.
"Grr... What in the name of Doom is going on here?" Max mumbled.
"Max!" Zoey called out to him. "Get the treasure!"
"Ha! I take orders from no one." Max stated.
"Do you want to win or not?" Zoey asked as she and Jo struggled against each other.
"Hmm, very well. You make a point." Max admitted as he stood up.
Max ran up to the chest and opened it to reveal many gold coins inside.
"Haha! Gold! And it's all mine!" Max laughed.
All the contestants began to glow a white light.
"Hmm... This does not seem to be normal." Max commented.
The contestants all disappeared after a flash of light.
(Confessional: Shawn)
"I'm still kinda in shock about the fact that Max ended up being the reason they won." Shawn admitted.
(Confessional: Max)
"As an evildoer, I do not normally help other people." Max stated. "However, I would have probably been voted out if I didn't help and therefore been unable to spread evil. So it was a small sacrifice I had to make."
Back in the real world, the eighteen contestants were snapped back into reality when the visors on their helmets flipped up.
"Whoa, that whole thing was weird." Cody remarked as he stood up from her chair and removed her helmet.
"Hey, Chris, I got a question, how does being knocked out int he virtual world work?" Gwen asked. "'Cause that felt pretty weird."
"I dunno, I didn't design these things." Chris responded. "Anyway, congratulations to the Irritable Actors for winning today's challenge!"
"Still say we got the worst team name here." Anne Maria remarked.
"Shut up, at least you won." Amy grumbled.
"Anyway, all of you get a chance to chat over a lovely meal our very own Chef has prepared for you." Chris informed them. "He's making mystery meat hamburgers tonight. Oh, and Demented Directors, see you at the elimination ceremony tonight."
"Yay." Gwen sarcastically remarked.
(Confessional: Amy)
"Okay, so, like, I kinda hate my team right now." Amy remarked. "I swear, I'd better not be the one who gets voted off first."
A little while later, the teams had gathered in the mess hall. All the Directors sat at one grouping of tables while all the Actors sat at another group. The camera focused on the area in the mess hall that contained the Actors. As the camera got closer to the team, it became apparent that Chef had indeed made hamburgers for the team.
"So what kinda meat is in the mystery meat?" Anne Maria wondered.
"It's probably best not to think about it." Justin replied. "Or think about how it'll affect my figure."
"So guys, am I an awesome leader or what?" Topher asked.
"You don't wanna hear me answer that." Scott stated.
"Ah c'mon guys, we won, didn't we?" Topher pointed out. "That means I'm awesome."
"I don't follow your logic." Dave said.
"Guys, guys, the point is, we won, right?" Sierra remarked.
"Yeah, let's just stop worrying and relax a little." DJ agreed.
"Until the next challenge." Zoey added.
The camera panned over to where the Directors had been eating.
"Man, what the hell happened?" Lightning wondered. "I thought we had this?"
"Ugh, can you stop complaining?" Jo requested. "We lost. Just get over it and decide who you wanna vote for."
"I ain't gettin' over it, bro." Lightning said. "Seriously, how'd we lose? We got all the strong people on our team. You, me, the short chick, maybe the zombie dude."
"My name's Sky." Sky reminded her. "And I'm not that short."
"Pfft, Sky ain't a name that's a thing that the clouds like to hide." Lightning stated.
"Ignore him, he's an idiot." Jo told Sky.
"Man, I'm right here, dude." Lightning pointed out.
"I keep telling you, I'm not a dude." Jo said.
"Guys, can you please stop arguing?" Tyler asked.
"Yeah, it's getting kind annoying." Cody added.
"I concur." Cameron agreed.
"Fine, fine. Let's just eat in silence for the next little bit." Jo said.
"Thank you, finally." Shawn remarked.
(Confessional: Gwen)
"There are two very obvious candidates for 'First voted out' that I'm thinking about voting for right now." Gwen commented.
A few hours later, the Directors had gathered in front of a large stage for the elimination ceremony. Chris walked up onto the stage wearing a blue tuxedo.
"All right, you guys ready?" Chris asked. "It's time for the elimination ceremony. Gwen, you may remember how this worked in Action. You all go to the makeup room confessional to vote and when you're done, I give you an incredibly handsome statue to signify that you're still in the game."
Chris held up a plate with eight miniature statues of him that looked as if they were made of gold.
"Whoever doesn't get one, has to take a ride out of here in the crappy limo we rented that I like to call 'The Lame-o-sine.'." Chris continued. "So anyway, get to the voting."
(Voting Confessional: Sky)
Sky crossed out a photograph of Lightning and showed it to the camera.
"Sorry Lightning, as much as I appreciate a fellow athlete, you're kinda annoying." Sky stated. "Also, I'm not that short."
(Voting Confessional: Gwen)
Gwen held up a photo of Lightning an X drawn over it.
"Honestly, you and Jo are equally annoying." Gwen admitted. "But I decided I disliked you just a little more."
(Voting Confessional: Lightning)
Lightning drew an X over a picture of Jo.
"If anyone should be leader 'round here, it's Lightning!" Lightning declared.
(Voting Confessional: Cody)
Cody scribbled over a photo of Jo's face with a red marker.
"I'm not sure how long I can stand you." Cody admitted. "The less you argue with people, the better."
(Voting Confessional: Tyler)
Tyler drew an X face over a picture of Lightning.
"Look man, I get that you're tough. But I feel like our team would be better if we didn't have you." Tyler remarked.
(Voting Confessional: Amy)
Amy drew an X over a photo of Jo.
"It should be me who gets to boss around this team. Not you." Amy said.
(Voting Confessional: Jo)
Jo crossed out a picture of Lightning.
"Do I even need to say why I'm doing this?" Jo rhetorically asked.
(Voting Confessional: Shawn)
Shawn drew an X over Jo's photo.
"Frankly, I feel like I'm better suited to lead this team." Shawn commented.
(Voting Confessional: Cameron)
"I honestly can't decide. Lightning and Jo both have negative qualities that make me want to vote for them." Cameron admitted. "Hmmm... I need a bit more time."
The scene switched back over to the contestants sitting in front of the stage with Chris reading a piece of paper in one hand and a tray of miniature statues of himself in the other.
"Okay, I've got the results right here." Chris explained. "So, I'll just start off with this. Sky, Cameron, Tyler, Cody, Shawn, Amy, and Gwen. You're all safe."
Chris tossed each contestant a Gilded Chris award has he listed their names off.
"So that just leaves two of you." Chris stated. "Jo and Lightning. Can't possibly guess why you got under your teammates' skin. No wait, I totally can. Anyway, this finally Gilded Chris Award goes to..."
...
...
...
...
...
...
"... Lightning!"
Chris threw the last award over to Lightning.
"Sha-bam!" Lightning cheered as he caught his statue. "Take that, Jo!"
"What?!" Jo exclaimed. You've gotta be kidding me."
"Nope, no mistake here." Chris answered. "You're out, Jo."
Jo stood up and looked back at the team that had just kicked her out.
"You're all going to regret this, I hope you realize that." Jo remarked.
Jo walked down the red carpet towards where the limousine was waiting for her. She got into the limousine and looked into the camera that was in there for a few seconds.
"What? Are you waiting for me to say something interested?" Jo asked. "Just drive."
The camera cut to the limousine driving away and Chris walking to the edge of the red carpet.
"Well, that's one down." Chris remarked. "This is the part where I usually say something clever or funny but we had to film this episode without a full script because of scheduling troubles. So, uh... Something, something, something, wordplay... Uh... Next time, on Total. Drama. Champions!"
Current Teams:
Irritable Actors: DJ, Justin, Scott, Sierra, Max, Anne Maria, Topher, Dave, and Zoey
Demented Directors: Cameron, Cody, Sky, Tyler, Amy, Shawn, Lightning, and Gwen
Eliminated:
Jo the Bossy Jock (18th Place)
Votes:
Cody: Jo
Tyler: Lightning
Sky: Lightning
Jo: Lightning
Amy: Jo
Shawn: Jo
Lightning: Jo
Cameron: Jo
Gwen: Lightning
Results:
Jo: 5 Votes
Lightning: 4 Votes
And that was the chapter. I know that this just seems like I'm repeating what I did in winners but with a marginally different cast. But it's what the other author that requested this from me wanted. As for why Jo was the first to be eliminated, I was debating between her and Topher but in the end thought Topher could use a little more time. I like Jo but had no real plans for her except for her small feud with Lightning. So anyway, thanks for reading.