Jazzy Family Guy Music played in the background.
The first Pics of the first adventure starts off with the screen that says "Family Guy Presents Stewie, Brian, & Glory in"
A second pic shows a flag that says "Road to Nowhere Land"
A record scratch sound occurred once I noticed an error in the title.
Dbzfreak60: CUT!
I turned to my left to see Sarah, the Director's assistant.
Dbzfreak60: Sarah, get the writers on the set.
Sarah: Yes sir!
I hopped out of my Director's chair and approached the green screen. In a matter of seconds, two of the writers came to see me.
Writer #1: You wanted to see us sir?
Dbzfreak60: Yeah! I do!
I motioned my hand toward the title name.
Dbzfreak60: What's this? What the Hell is this?
I crossed my arms.
Dbzfreak60: You boys care to explain?
Writer #2: Uh, yeah, it's a typo sir.
Dbzfreak60: A typo, huh? Hm? I-If it is a typo, shouldn't it be Rhode Island spell incorrectly? Hm? 'Cause as I can tell, that doesn't sound even close to Rhode Island.
Writer #1: (Sigh) Okay sir. It was just a hint. The kids in us we're kinda hoping for a crossover with Maggie and the Ferocious Beast!
Dbzfreak60: Maggie and the Ferocious Beast! To Hell with that! I'm not crossing Family Guy with a kids show.
Writer #2: Well, technically you crossed the show with My Little Pony, so... didn't you already did?
Dbzfreak60: No! That's completely different. The past My Little Pony shows and films, maybe they're just for children. But Friendship Is Magic is completely different. If you look pass the niceness and the laughing and focus more on the drama and the evils, you'll know that it 'seems' like it's just for kids. Like that Happy Tree Friends show.
Writer #2: Uh, how are both shows the same?
Dbzfreak60: Like I said, both shows seem like they're just for kids because the characters are ponies and colorful animals. 'Cept the colorful animals gets killed a lot and there's blood.
Writer #1: Ah! Well, when you put it like that, I.. guess that makes sense.
Dbzfreak60: Exactly! Now fix this title so we can move on, okay?
Writer #1: Yes sir, you got it.
The two writers left while I went back to my seat.
Brian was at his therapist explaining his past while smoking.
Brian: And that was the last time I ever saw her.
Therapist: Well Brian, I-I think we've stumbled upon the root of your problems. You have adandonment issuses. You need to confront your mother and deal with this.
Brian: What are you, crazy? For God sake, my eyes were barely open. She just-She just gave me away.
Brian placed his cigarette into the ashtray.
Brian: Well, it's her loss, right? Yeah! I turned out great. Huh? Am I right? RIGHT? YEAH! YEAH YOU BET YOUR ASS I'M RIGHT!
He positioned his arm on the table for arm wrestling.
Brian: YOU-YOU WANNA ARM WRESTLE? COME ON! RIGHT NOW! COME ON!
Therapist: Brian, have you been drinking?
Brian: DAMN RIGHT I WAS! NOW COME ON! RIGHT HERE! COME ON! LET'S DO THIS!
Sarah: Um, sir, is that in the script?
Dbzfreak60: Uh, no Sarah, it is not.
I sat up from my chair.
Dbzfreak60: Alright, who gave Brian too much to drink?
Brian pointed at me.
Brian: YOU! ARM WRESTLE! RIGHT HERE! COME ON!
Dbzfreak60: Whoa, whoa! Easy homeboy. Don't get crazy now.
Brian: Oh, oh, you want crazy?
He flipped over the table.
Brian: I'll show ya crazy.
He got down on all four paws.
Brian: (Roof) (Roof) (Roof) (Roof) (Roof) (Roof)
I backed away a little.
Dbzfreak60: Holy crap! SOMEBODY CALL SECURITY!
The whole crew started running and screaming as Brian ran towards the camera and knocked it over. He continued to bark in front of the lens.
Brian: (Roof) (Roof) (Roof) (Roof) (Roof)
Dbzfreak60: FOR GOD'S SAKE! WHERE'S THE FREAKIN' SECURITY WHEN YOU NEED 'EM?
I began approaching the snack table where I've seen the Griffin Family discussing.
Dbzfreak60: Hello Griffins.
They stopped talking and looked at me with surprised looks.
Dbzfreak60: What were you guys talkin' about?
Peter suspiciously moved his eyes side to side.
Peter: Uh, uh, food!
Lois: Earrings!
Chris: Music!
Meg: Crayons!
Glory: Feeble minds!
Stewie: A dead Lois?
I was so confused.
Dbzfreak60: Um... okay? Whatever!
I grabbed a Dorito from a bowl and dipped it into some Jalepeno dip.
Dbzfreak60: So anyway, what's the word on Brian at the vet?
I started eating the chip with dip.
Lois: Oh, where to even begin?! Security's confiscated all of Brian's booze in his secret compartment. Doctor's say he won't be able to act until tomorrow.
I turned my attention toward Peter.
Peter: Oh yeah! They say he was so drunk, that his intestines started moving like worms. Eh? Can you imagine that? Having wormy intestines in ya body? Eh? Or-Or maybe perhaps some gummy wormy intestines. Eh? Think you can live with that? I don't think so.
Dbzfreak60: I see.
I checked my watch.
Dbzfreak60: Well, since it's 7 o'clock, I suppose we have no choice but to postpone the episode until tomorrow. Sound good?
The family chattered in agreement.
Dbzfreak60: Great! So tomorrow then!
They agreed again and said their goodbyes, leaving me alone at the snack table. As I picked up another chip, I felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned to the side and saw Glory with blushing cheeks.
Dbzfreak60: What up, Glory?
Glory: Heeeey, boss. Um... have you seen Seth MacFarlane around here?
Dbzfreak60: Uh, yeah, he just went home early.
Glory: Oh, okay! Um, do you think you can tell him to give me an autograph? With some hearts all over it? A-And make it say, "With Love"?
Dbzfreak60: Uh... yeah! Yeah, I think I can do that.
Glory: Okay, great then. Chow!
I've watched her skip happily as Stewie climbed onto a chair and then onto the table.
Stewie: Well, someone's got the hots for my voice actor. Wouldn't you say?
Dbzfreak60: How do you think I feel? No girl like that has ever felt that way about me.
Stewie: Oh, really? What about your assistant, Sarah? Hm?
I blushed a little.
Dbzfreak60: Hey! She's just an assistant!
Lois: Oh I could never choose. I love all my children equally. It's hard enough having Stewie all the way in Palm Springs visiting Grammy and Grandpa.
(Pewterschmidt Mansion)
Babs and Stewie had just finished eating breakfast. So the maid's picking up the dishes.
Babs: Give Nana a big hug, sweetheart.
During the hug, Stewie sneakly took off grandma's necklace. Instead of being thrown into the maid's pocket, the necklace hit the maid's stomach. And after it hit the floor, the maid stepped on it and fell too.
Dbzfreak60: CUT!
Stewie: Damn! Well at least it's not the first time I've messed up!
(Flashback)
In the kitchen, Glory and Stewie were baking.
Glory: Okay, Stewie. I'm gonna go to the restroom for a bit. You just add the flour and mix. Got it?
Stewie: Okay.
Glory left the room, leaving Stewie behind. After the screen did a horizontal flip, Glory came back into the kitchen.
Glory: I'm back. (Gasp)
She saw Stewie mixing flowers into the batter.
Stewie: Now what?
Babs: Stewie, gather your things. Time to go.
Stewie walked downstairs with his backpack and Rupert.
Stewie: Well it's about bloody time! Y...
Stewie paused to see Glory and Brian.
Stewie: Th-th-th-th-that idiot slattern sent the beauty and the doggy beast? Oh-Oh, Well! Well! This is-this is-this is oh oh uh... D-D-D-D-D-D-Don't even get-get-get me started. I-I-I-I-I mean really. Wh-wh-wh-wh-wh-what I really think that of-of... of-of-of-of-of
I facepalmed.
Dbzfreak60: (Sigh)
Sarah: Something wrong sir?
Dbzfreak60: Yeah! He's stuttering too much. CUT!
Stewie suddenly stopped moving.
Dbzfreak60: Glory, you know what to do.
Glory: Yes sir.
She took out a key from her pocket and placed it into Stewie's back. She then started winding the key.
Dbzfreak60: Careful with that one, Glory. That one's a rental. You don't wanna overwind it like you did with the other ones.
The next shot showed a dumpster with robot Stewies in it. One of them had his head blown off.
(Griffin House)
While Peter was watching television, Lois came into the living room with a video cassette in her hands.
Lois: Peter, guess what I just got. A relationship video. The infomercial said this tape will help us communicate better as a couple.
Peter: Lois, when did we ever had trouble communicating?
(Flashback)
Stewie: And now to test my teleportation pods.
He got in a pod and the door closed. He then noticed that Rupert was in the same pod as him.
Stewie: (Gasp) OH DAMN!
Stewie tried to get out, but it was too late. They transported to the other pod and Stewie came out half human and half stuffed.
Stewie: AWWWUUUGHHH! I'M A MONSTEEEEERRRR!
(Reality)
Dbzfreak60: (Sigh) CUT! Wrong flashback people!
(Palm Springs Airport)
At a bar, Brian was so drunk, he spun around in his chair. He was spinning so much, that he fell out of his chair.
Brian: Ow!
Dbzfreak60: CUT!
I walked up to Brian and helped him up.
Dbzfreak60: Brian, are you drunk again?
Brian: No! No! I... I feel fine, you increasingly attractive-looking woman. Ya know, y-you're very pretty.
Dbzfreak60: Dude, you're suppose to act drunk. And plus, I'm not a woman, I'm a dude.
Brian: Aww, don't be like that babe, come here.
Dbzfreak60: Hey, what are you-
He grabbed onto my leg.
Dbzfreak60: Hey! HEY! WHAT THE HELL!
I started shaking my leg.
Dbzfreak60: HEY! GET OFF OF ME!
The entire cast and crew started laughing at me.
Dbzfreak60: GUYS THIS IS NOT FUNNY! GE-GET OFF OF MY LEG!
Drunken Brian started kissing my leg.
Dbzfreak60: I MEAN IT, BRIAN! GET OFF OF MY LEG! GET OFF OF MY LE- SECURITY!
(Motel)
Stewie: There's only one way to do this.
Stewie dialed in different phone numbers.
Stewie: 111-1111. Lois? Damn. 111-1112. LOIS? DAMN! 111-1113.
Dbzfreak60: CUT! Wrong number, Stewie. You punched in three instead of one.
Stewie: Oh, come on! Of-of-of-of-of all the times.. where there were minor errors, this one really matters?
I gave a deadpan look.
Dbzfreak60: Okay, let's move on.
(Griffin House)
Amanda: I'd like to start by asking the women to leave the room, because this part of the tape is for men only. We'll see you in a little while.
Lois: I can see this is gonna be very intense. Phew have fun.
While Lois was beginning to leave, I was watching how the show was going on the monitor next to me.
Amanda: Make sure your wife is out of the room.
While Peter was checking, Lois winked at Peter before closing the door.
Peter: Check.
Offscreen, Lois and the Griffins were laughing evilly. They watched around the corner to see me watching the show on my monitor. Meanwhile, Amanda took off her glasses, scrunchie, and waved her hair.
Amanda: So, you wanna talk or do you want me to take my top off?
Peter's eyes widened as Amanda took off her jacket.
Amanda: That's what I thought. Oh, man!
Peter quickly closed his eyes before Amanda unbuttoned her shirt and opened it. When she did, The Puppet from Five Nights At Freddy's 2 appeared in front of her boobs and performed his jumpscare like in the game.
Dbzfreak60: AAAAAAAAUUUUGGHH!
My chair fell backwards along with me. After I hit the floor, the entire cast and crew began laughing at me. Peter got outta bed and walked towards me.
Peter: OH MY GOD! We so got your ass, man. We so got your ass.
I got up off the floor.
Dbzfreak60: Oh, oh real mature people. Real mature.
At the Motel, Brian was licking Glory while she was sleeping.
Glory: Oh yeah, that's it.
She opened her eyes and saw Brian licking her face.
Glory: Hey wha... WHAT THE HELL! AAAUUUGGHH!
She fell out of the bed and became unconscious. The phone rings and woke up Stewie.
Stewie: (Yawn) I got it.
He fell out of bed and got back up. Stewie then grabbed a hot steamer or something and burned his hand.
Stewie: Hello... AAAUUUGH! OHOHO! OH! DAMN IT! A PUS-SPEWING (Bleep)ing BLOOD-GUTTED HELL! AAUUGH!
He picked up the real phone.
Stewie: WHAT? What do you mean our credit card was declined? Oh-no-no-no-no! There no need to come up. We'll, we'll...
The manager hung up.
Stewie: Oh! BLAST!
As Stewie was getting dressed, Glory stayed on the floor.
Dbzfreak60: Helloooo! Glory! This is the part where you get up.
Stewie poked her a bit, but Glory didn't move.
Stewie: Oh! Um! Mr. Director, um, here's the thing. Um, sh-she's completely out of it man.
I became surprised.
Dbzfreak60: Oh!
Stewie: Yeah!
Dbzfreak60: Okay, um, that's all for today people. Um, someone call a hospital and not tell her parents about this. Oh and when she wakes up, tell her she ate some bad shrimp and fell out. Okay?
The entire crew agreed.
Dbzfreak60: Alright, then. Um... I'm just gonna go home now and pray to God this won't happen again.
(Griffin House)
After Lois hung up the phone, Peter came in with a video cassette.
Lois: The kids and Brian are taking a train home.
Peter: Lois, can we not talk about curtains for two seconds. I got another one of those relationship tapes.
Lois took the tape and read the price.
Lois: $49.95? That's three times as much as the first one.
Peter: Lois, our relationship cannot be measured in nipples and dimes. Uh, I mean nickles and boobs. Money. I'll be upstairs.
Peter ran upstairs, leaving Lois behind. After Lois went upstairs, she tried opening the door.
Lois: Peter why are you so...
She was having a tough time opening the door.
Lois: Damn it. It's stuck.
Dbzfreak60: Again? (Sigh) CUT!
I got up from my seat and went to Lois.
Dbzfreak60: Step aside, Lois. I got this.
Lois: Okay.
After she backed away, she turned around and put her fingers in her ears. The second I opened the door, Nightmare Bonnie from Five Nights At Freddy's 4 jumpscared me.
Dbzfreak60: AAAAAAAUUUGGH!
After I ran behind my chair, Nightmare Bonnie turned out to be Peter, who took off the mask.
Peter: Hehe! Fooled ya.
The entire crew laughed at me again!
Dbzfreak60: AW COME ON! THIS IS SOME BULL (Bleep)! YOU GUYS GOT SOME (Bleep) NERVE DOING THIS TO ME TWICE!
Stewie, Brian, and Glory: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!
The trio hi-fived.
On the trail, they carried Buscuit to a place to bury her. While on the trail, the trio dropped her once the Greased-up Deaf Guy intervened.
Glory: What the Hell?
Greased-up Deaf Guy: Hahaha! Catch me if you can!
Dbzfreak60: What the- don't just stand there, people. Let's get him.
Everybody and I started chasing the Greased-up Deaf Guy around the studio. Because of the greasy trail he leaves behind. Most of us slipped and fell as he continues to get away. I, myself, even slipped.
Greased-up Deaf Guy: Hahaha! Can't catch me.
Dbzfreak60: Why you greasy son of a- SECURITY!
Peter came into the kitchen.
Lois: Peter, isn't there-
Peter noticed the new tape on the table.
Peter: Oh my God, the new video. Ohhh, life is sweat.
Dbzfreak60: CUT! It's sweet, Peter. You said sweat!
Peter: Duh! Do ya think so?!
I facepalmed.
Dbzfreak60: (Sigh) I'm surrounded by idiots.
As I went inside the restroom, I began humming a song. Once I opened one of the stall doors, Chica from Five Nights At Freddy's 1 Jumpscared me.
Dbzfreak60: AAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHH! OH GOD!
After I fell to the floor, the entire cast came in and Chica turned out to be Carter Pewterschmidt in disguised. The cast surrounded me and then laughed at me as I wet myself.
Dbzfreak60: WHAT THE (Bleep) IS WRONG WITH PEOPLE? YOU SONS OF BITCHES! I GOT FEELINGS TOO YA KNOW.
In the video, Amanda has no shirt, or skirt. Just underwear and her bra.
Amanda: How bout some whipped cream?
Peter enjoys staring at her.
Peter: Ooohh! That's always good.
Amanda: And some cinnamon.
Peter: (Gasp) Oh! That's good too.
Amanda: And then guess what. I'm going to add...
Peter: Oh Geez, if she says Mrs. Dash, I'm gonna lose it.
Amanda: We're going to add...
The Greased-up Deaf Guy came on set and knocked the TV over.
Peter: Hey!
Greased-up Deaf Guy: Hahaha! I ruined your precious tv ya'll.
Dbzfreak60: Damn it! Security!
(Mini-Mart)
They continued to carry Buscuit until they've stopped in front of a store.
Brian: Wait here, guys. I'm gonna get directions to the nearest park so we can give my mother a proper burial.
After Brian went inside, Stewie decided to make a joke.
Stewie: Come on, darling. Stiff upper (Hiccup) lip.
Stewie and Glory laughed at Stewie hiccup.
Dbzfreak60: CUT!
Stewie: Oh! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I-I-It's not everyday... that you hiccup during filming.
Glory: Y-Ya know! I think... I think this is like... your way of hitting puberty. Y-ya don't have the voice of a kid. You got a grown man's voice. So, I think that's the case. Or maybe it involves Crack.
(Park)
At the park, Brian dug a hole for his mother and they put her in.
Brian: (Sigh) Say someting, Stewie.
Stewie: What?
Brian: Just-Just say something, please!
Stewie: Oh for God's sake!
Brian and Glory bowed their heads.
Stewie: Um, uh, yea, and God said to Abraham, "You will kill your son lsaac." And Abraham said, "I can't hear you. You'll have to speak into the micro..."
The Grease-up Deaf Guy came on set and pushed the trio down.
Greased-up Deaf Guy: Ya'll didn't think I'd be back, did ya'll.
Dbzfreak60: (Sigh) Will somebody get rid of that Greased-up Deaf Guy, already?
I began whistling a song as I entered the restroom. I stopped whistling once I realized what happened last time.
Dbzfreak60: Wait a minute!
I took off my right shoe and slowly approached the stall doors. I quickly opened the first one, but it was empty. I then opened the next one, and it was empty too. I then opened the last stall door and was relieved when it was empty as well.
Dbzfreak60: Phew!
I placed my shoe back on and went into the last stall. After closing the door, I decided to sing a song.
Dbzfreak60: "I saw Mercury" "Then Venus" "I saw the Earth" "Then Mars" "I saw Jupiter" "Then Saturn" "Uranus" "And Neptune"
I flushed the toilet and then opened the stall door. The second I exited the stall, the head of Ballora from Five Nights At Freddy's: Sister Location popped out of the middle stall and Jumpscared me.
Dbzfreak60: AAAAAAAAUUUUUGGGHH!
After I fell to the floor, the cast revealed themselves from the tiles in the ceiling.
Quagmire: Loser!
And there they go again laughing at me. I was so mad, I started angrily shaking my fist into the air.
Dbzfreak60: DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ASSHOLES TO HEEEELL!
Quagmire decided to speak up as the cast continued to laugh.
Quagmire: Say guys, after today, can I have that Ballora doll?
Near the end of the song, the trio climbed to the top of the train.
Stewie, Brian, and Glory: "We're Rhode IIIISLAAAAND..."
They made to the top.
Stewie, Brian, and Glory: "BOOOOuuu..."
They fell off the train and into some bushes. They were hurt so bad, they groaned. I was so speechless, that I slowly turned off the camera.
Chris: Okay, Meg. I'm thinking of another word. And this time, it's definitely not kitty. Can you guess what it is?
Meg: Is it Kitty?
Chris: Uh! GET OUT OF MY HEAD! GET OUTTA MY HEEEEEAD!
Dbzfreak60: CUT! PERFECT! That's a wrap, everybody!
Everybody got together.
Dbzfreak60: Nice job, everybody! Let's celebrate with PIZZA!
The cast and crew cheered as they exited the room. As soon as they did, I pulled the relationship video and gave a snoopy laugh. I placed the tape in the VCR and pressed play. In the video, Amanda had no shirt, or skirt. Just underwear and her bra.
Amanda: How bout some whipped cream?
Dbzfreak60: Yeah, that's it.
Amanda: And some cinnamon.
Dbzfreak60: Uh-huh? Yeah?
Amanda: And then guess what. I'm going to add...
Dbzfreak60: Come on, babe. Say the name.
Amanda: We're going to add...
Springtrap from Five Nights At Freddy's 3 was edited into the video and Jumpscared me.
Dbzfreak60: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUGHHH!
I fell backwards into my chair. As soon as I did, a bucket of water fell on me from the ceiling.
The whole cast and crew came out of hiding and started laughing at me again.
Dbzfreak60: YOU BASTARDS! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE?
They were too busy laughing out loud to even listen.
Dbzfreak60: THIS IS SOME BULL CRAP, GUYS! THIS IS SOME BULL CRAP AND YOU KNOW IT!
As everyone continues to laugh at me, I started crying my tears out.
Dbzfreak60: I CAN'T BELIEVE NOBODY TAKES A DIRECTOR SERIOUSLY ANYMORE! DAMN YOU, DONALD TRUMP!
The trio were on the floor laughing their butts off.
Peter: Oh God! What a jackass!