Authors Note: I'm so excited to finally start fan-fictioning with my first Big Time Rush Story. I absolutely adore Kogan or Jarlos stories, so I don't really know where this one is heading behind sadness and romance. Anyway, I didn't realize it until I started looking around that my idea for the story was just like 's "Doll" which is absolutely amazing and if you haven't read it yet, then you totally should. Okay, So I'll shut up now and go ahead and start the story. XoXo

I hated moving. I absolutely loved where I lived before we had to come to the hell hole they call Minnesota. L.A. was the best place in the world for anyone who had a dream of breaking through the mainstream and being famous. And that was a passion I had had my whole life. I loved music; it ran through my brain and into each one of my different veins. I manipulated music into helping me to understand things like math and science better by using the repetition and rhythm music offers. And all I wanted in this life was to be a famous musician entertaining people everywhere and serving as a source of inspiration for all those with a hard upbringing. I wanted to help poor kids, effeminate kids, smart kids, outcast kids in general to never give up hope. My dad was a car repairs man and my mother was a teacher and they always encouraged me to live my dreams and reach my full potential. When I finally came out to them, there was no pressure. Everyone but my dad in my family was so proud to have a gay son. My cousins and grandparents and friends all told me it gave me a very unique, edge and perspective to help people. They told me it was good to be different and special and I was that much closer to living my dreams. My dad didn't care. And he didn't care because deep down he hated it; he despised it and that always hurt me. Cause it mean he despised me. For a long time he told me he wanted to grow up to be like him and I wanted to. He promised to never leave me because of how he was raised. Two teenage parents who had a kid and got kicked out of their respective houses. His dad left him three months in and his mom died of a drug overdose when he was eight. Neither of his grandparents would take him so at the ripe age of nine after court settlement and pay-offs, he ended up in foster care. But he made it through, put himself through college, and eventually met my mom there. And there were happy and got married and moved to L.A. and lived happily ever-after. As if. My mom hated my dad for never being able to fully provide for her. Paying off College debts just to end up to be a mechanic shop owner didn't amount to much to her. She though she would be going into a life of lavish and luxury as she would never have to work, but she did. And she was very bitter about it. She had her family around her, but they were relatively poor in the first place and a lot of times she was forced to take care of them. And she was very bitter about that too. But she always tried to hide it from me. She would whisper to me as I'd fall asleep at night, "Go to sleep little Logie so your dreams can be happier than your life." And then I remember she would always weep. I never understood what she meant by that, but later I would keep it close to heart. Because I was being forced to move. When dad died in the shooting, my mom wanted to get away from L.A.; away from her family and away from that life in general. So she called her youngest, black-sheep sister to know if we could come stay with her a little while in Minnesota till we could find permanent residence there. And that's when my dreams crumbled like dust. I cried for days while we packed and she told me it would be okay; we would be happy, but I knew we weren't. Or at least I wouldn't. Because by leaving L.A., I was leaving all my dreams. I was leaving my family behind who adored me and I adored back. I was leaving all my friends who swore to always stand by me. I was leaving behind what made up Logan Mitchell and that stung like a cut to the arm. When we arrived in Minnesota, I had initially decided to be as moody and angsty as I could be so I wouldn't have to deal with people. I had two years before I was officially an adult, and as soon as that happened, I was going straight back to L.A. to stay with family till I found someone to make me famous. All I had to put up with was two years; that couldn't be that bad could it. The first friend I made here was my cousin Camille. As kids we played dress up together and we used to call each other 'Cammy' and 'LoLo.' It was our thing and we used to play for hours before they left for Minnesota. Boy had she changed; splendid brunette hair and an angelic face that was pale like snow. I instantly knew we would reconnect and already I had forgotten my swear to myself. We kept each other's old nicknames and ran around town together meeting her friends and people from school. Finally, we stopped by an old soda joint (isn't that hilarious to say) when I saw this hot group of guys. Four beautiful guys sitting at a table laughing and eating together; it was like a scene out of some crappy ABCfamily show.

So I hit Camille in the shoulder and said, "He Cammy, who are those cute guys over there." I took a sip.

"Ha Lolo," She responded, "You don't have to set me up on any dates, I have a boyfriend." She winked at me and then started to slurp what was left of her drink.

I giggled, thinking she was maybe kidding, "Fine by me; I was asking for myself anyway Cammy-girl." I turned to stare at them again while Camille got that look on her face that I would get when I was thinking. It was funny who much we looked and acted alike. I wanted to be a singer, She an Actress.

All of the sudden she gave me a bizarre look before saying in my face, "Your one of those homosexuals aren't you!" She was starting to get louder. And I wasn't particularly sure if she was acting or was some kind of strang religious zealot, but it kind of offended me.

I looked at her intensely trying to see if I could get her to crack and then find out she was punking me, but that wasn't the case and the whole place was starting to stare at us. "I though that was obvious Cammy, why are you acting to strange about it?"

She turned to me with her nose high in the air, like a whole nother person than before, "I won't be part of your homo-activities that poison our Earth." She was treating me like I was some kind of pollutant trash that she needed to get rid of. And this girl thought she could make it in Hollywood with beliefs like that. I started to giggle, treating it like a joke whether it was or wasn't, but Camille didn't. She threw the money on the counter and stormed out. It was shocking, but the look on the shack's faces was even more disturbing.

Different faces of disgust and horror plastered their faces before I started to shout, "What, never seen a Gay person before?" For some reason I still thought it was part of the town's humor, but it wasn't. They were genuinely closed minded people. That's when the person behind the counter quietly asked me to leave.

I turned to look him in the face and was about to question his call or my reason to leave when he pointed to the sign on the wall. It read as follows,

"No Persons of Lower Moral Standards or Upbringing Are To Taint This Shop. Please Leave Immediately If So Not To Disturb The Costumers."

I gave the restaurant one last sweeping glance before storming out of the shop in a huff and just standing outside getting ready to call my mom. I didn't know anything about this town and it was obvious that Camille wasn't coming back. I started to cry a little and put the phone down next to my thigh as I hung up as soon as I pressed call. It was too hard to talk right now after what just happened in there. I had read stories about stuff like this and had seen movies, but never had I experienced this before. I didn't want my life to be one of those depressing movies because someone always died by the end. Broke Back Mountain, Boys Don't Cry, and Milk. Those were the first three I could think of and I didn't want to live that. Then the boys I was looking at came out. The leader of the group with beautiful green eyes and cute blonde hair took me by the shoulder softly.

"You okay, you looked really hurt in there."

I sniffled and then said softly, "Yeah, thank yo-"

He quickly grabbed my hand and cut me off saying, " Why don't we take you home to make sure no one tried to hurt you."

I was so grateful to this beautiful boy and his three friends that I didn't pay attention to what direction they were taking me in. We turned down a dark alley when I realized something wasn't right and then I turned to them giving them my best impression of 'dear-in-the-head-light' eyes just so that maybe they'd have mercy. They didn't.

That's when another one spoke, he was Latino with short Black hair, "What's the matter dough eyes, walking you home wasn't faggy enough for you." He punched me hard in the jaw and I hit the floor hard.

Then the blonde one kicked me in the gut and stated loudly, "What, don't want to suck our dicks, I hear that's what you homo's like isn't it." He got down on my level while tears were flooding up my eyes and said, "Wanna seduce me dough eyes, wanna try to turn me queer." He stepped on my had with all his force.

"I think that's what we'll call you from now on, Bambi, because like Bambi, you're a bitch." The Latino boy kicked me in the knees and now I was just balled up on the ground sobbing as hard and loud as I could. No one seemed to care who passed by. Not one person.

That's when the tallest boy with the most delicate features pronounced loudly, "Why don't I give him what he wants. You guys go home, you don't wanna see what I'm gonna do to our little Bambi." Both boys slapped his hand and walked out of the alley with smug smiles on their faces before I got ready for the worst of all. I had saved sex for someone I truly loved and I knew that he wasn't the one. I didn't even know him. And thinking about rape made me shiver. And Shiver loudly. I finally said as loud as I could when I had finally unclenched my jaw, "do it. Get it over with and just move on. I swear I won't tell if you don't hurt me." I started to sob harder when he finally bent down in a squat to look at me.

He stated firmly, "I'm not gonna hurt you, I swear. I needed to get them away to be able to help and clean you up. You Okay." He spoke fast as he took a town he had in his back pocket and turned on the spickett next to us to get the towl wet. He started to lift me up and clean some of the blood off my face with the towel when I finally said, "NO! This is a strange townwithmeanpeopleandi," He shut me up with a soft kiss on the cheek before giggling and saying softly, "Why don't I clean you up at my house Bambi."

Author's Note: I know I already gave you guys a note at the top but I felt it was important to do a second one. I didn't chose Bambi from the' Bad Boys Know What They Want' story even though that one is super great as well. I got it from Rookie Blue when they were talking about the main character's eyes as dough eyes. Tell me if I spelled it wrong in reviews, please, and I promise this is gonna end up a Kogan series, it just kinda starts Jagan. Love Ya, Again and I'll try to update as fast as I can (somedays that will be daily, sometimes it might be monthly, have patience). XoXo

.