When Love is forced

Hey, all. I was struck with the idea for this fic after reading countless humor stories. So here it is.

Summary: Harry is sick of his two best friends being alone, so he sets out to set them up. ((HUMOR FIC)) pairings: HG/SB, RW/HP

Harry sighed as he looked back and forth between his best friend and his godfather. Neither was doing anything particularly interesting, just sitting there. And that was why Harry was staring and depressed. You see, since Sirius was brought back from beyond the veil, he's been, well, restrained. He never interacts with anyone, he never went out, and, most importantly, he never got laid. And now, Harry saw it as his god sonly duties to make sure Sirius got laid.

Which is why he was watching his best friend. Hermione hadn't dated a lot, and didn't really seem to care about her lack of a sex life. In fact, she hadn't seemed to care that her last boyfriend was Viktor Krum, in fourth year. Harry saw this and winced. He vowed to change that. And the only way he saw to change that, was Sirius.

Both of his unsuspecting victims had been alone for quite sometime. And both were easy prey for his matchmaking. He just had to think of the perfect way to set them up. His plotting, however, ceased momentarily, when his boyfriend, Ron Weasley, came into his line of vision. He brightened and jumped up to give his lover a hug and kiss. It was, of course, more important that he welcome Ron home properly then to continue plotting.

But with Ron here, he had the perfect ally to help bring Hermione and Sirius together. Ron would help Harry do anything, especially if Harry offers the proper incentive.

Ron looked at his boyfriend doubtfully. They had retired to their bedroom so as to have a private conversation about their housemates. He didn't honestly see how they could get them into a relationship willingly. Hermione would probably end up killing Sirius within a week. But he knew he would be able to say no to Harry, because Harry always won.

Harry smiled innocently at Ron. He had been trying to coax the Quidditch player into helping, and knew he was nearly there. He simpered slightly as he looked deeply into Ron's eyes.

"Please, Ron? Look at them! They're both devastatingly lonely. We have to help them. If not for their sakes, but for ours. With them busy together, we have more time alone." Ron wavered slightly in his resolve. No matter how well he knew Hermione wasn't 'devastatingly lonely', Harry was far to convincing. And he caved.

"oh, all right. As long as you don't do anything that may cause hurt feelings. But don't expect me to help you plot. I'm just gonna keep my silence and try to make sure you don't do anything too out of control." But his words were lost as Harry jumped up, gave him a slight peck on the cheek and ran off. Ron groaned and fell back on the bed with his hands over his face. "What have I gotten myself into?"

!

Meanwhile, Hermione and Sirius continued to sit and carry on their normal activities. Said activities could be seen as normal for them and, to any normal person watching them, it was obvious that they weren't lonely at all. In fact, they were very content with their lives and how thy lived them. But Harry wasn't normal. Not even close. So now, he was going to attempt to cure them of the nonexistent loneliness, which will most likely result in mass chaos. Also known as "Harry's meddling consequences" as it was known amongst the circle of friends.

For this wasn't the first time he decided to interfere. In fact, he does this a lot. Usually he's relatively harmless in his meddling, but then there are other times when he was quite off.

There was much speculation as to why he liked to meddle. Hermione firmly believed it was to relieve the boredom that had accumulated since the war ended. She may have been right. Or Luna may be right, in her theory (published in the Quibbler, August 1999) that the miniature nymphs that occupied his ear were to blame. We may never know, however, who was right.

Hermione was very happy with her male-less life. It was how she liked it. No idiocy to screw up her plans, only three best friends who liked to prank her among their countless other victims. At least, that's how she liked to portray herself. Secretly, however, she and Sirius had be dating for a few months. They never wanted to tell Harry or Ron, as they knew one or the other would react oddly and accidentally sabotage the relationship.

And as her counterpart, Sirius felt the same way. He was happy just being with her, and besides the fact the sex rarely happened because of having to hide the relationship; he was perfectly content to remain as he was. Little did he know, their happy little relationship was about to be shattered by his misguided, but well meaning godson.

Harry bounded into the room, seized Hermione's arm and dragged her out of the room as quickly as he had entered. Hermione gasped and allowed him to drag her through the house, used to his odd behavior as it is. When they entered her bedroom, Harry sat her down on the bed and stood facing her, a serious look on his face.

"You don't have any plans for tonight, do you?" At her confused 'no', he smiled, relieved. "Good, because I have just the thing for you. Tonight, you will stay here, and have fun. K? K" and with that, he left her room quickly, so as to continue his corrupted little plan. He returned to the living room, where Sirius still sat, looking at him oddly. Harry smiled innocently (a little TOO innocently, in Sirius' opinion) and went to sit next to Sirius. "Sirius. How would you feel if I arranged you the perfect evening?" Sirius just continued to stare at him, so Harry just sighed. "Ok, here. Just stay here tonight, ok? Ok." And, like with Hermione, he bounced up and out of the room. On his way to his room and Ron, however, he ran into Hermione. He smiled brightly at her.

"I really hope you have fun tonight, Mione. The house will be completely empty for you." Hermione looked at him in confusion.

"What? But what about Sirius? Won't he be here?"

"Oh, no, he has a date tonight." Harry lied quickly. He continued on his path without noticing Hermione's shattered look. He also didn't see as she walked back to he room, where she vowed she wouldn't let Sirius hurt her. And at same time, in Harry's room, Sirius was asking the same question of her to Harry, who replied the she, too had a date.

That had not been the answer Sirius had been looking for and he quickly returned to the living room in order to stew.

That evening, Harry and Ron set up the Kitchen in a romantic atmosphere and informed both their friends that their dinner for one would be finished at 6 o'clock, and that they needed to enter the kitchen at 6, in order to make sure the food wasn't destroyed. They weren't to go into the kitchen before then, and neither did. They were both content to be angry alone in their respective rooms. Harry and Ron left the house at 5:30, Harry with a light heart, Ron with a feeling of dread.

At six, Hermione entered the kitchen from the entrance in the hall, as Sirius pushed opened the door connecting the kitchen to the living room. They both stopped and looked at each other in surprise.

"Aren't you supposed to be on a date?" They both said at the same time.

"Of course not! Why would I be on a date?" Again they spoke together. Hermione rolled her eyes and motioned that she was going to speak first.

"Harry said you had a date tonight." Sirius looked at her in confusion. Then comprehension dawned on his face.

"He said the same about you. I think he's meddling again. Making sure both here, alone, well, Harry tried to make it romantic." He looked around the kitchen at the many candles that had long since burned out, and the motioned to the boom box that was playing the same song (a rather annoying, sappy, love song) over and over again and moved toward Hermione. She smiled at him, finally getting it as well. "So, either he knows about us or he got sick of us not being with anyone. Which do you think it is?"

Hermione smirked. "I think he was, yet again, meddling for his own amusement." She moved into Sirius' opened and waiting arms and kissed him slowly and thoroughly. "What do you say we forsake Harry's probably burned dinner and go on to the stage he was expecting to take place after dinner?" Harry was a notoriously bad cook. And as to her question, well, Sirius answered it by dragging her down the hallway toward his room.

Late that night, when Harry and Ron got back, and saw the two curled up in Sirius' bed, Harry turned triumphantly towards Ron, who rolled his eyes and shoved his lover toward their room. He then turned to the couple that had woken up and were looking at him in confusion.

"Do me a favor." He said to them, grabbing the door handle and starting to pull the door shit. "Tomorrow, when you see him, can you please just let him think he started your relationship?" He heard Hermione and Sirius laugh as he walked down the hallway to the room where he knew he, as well, would be having a very good night.

Fin.

All right, you know the drill. Please review and tell me what you think.