Blood dripped down from Barrett's opened wrists to the cold linoleum floor. As he watched the red liquid pool slowly about his feet, he remembered the good days. He remembered the joy at the beginning, the love at the middle and now this, this at the end. But this story cannot be told without going back all the way to the beginning…
July 16th
Dyne died three years ago today. I didn't remind Marlene, she's sad enough without this. I woke up, had my toast, it was yummy, deliciously yummy in fact. But then it hit me. This was the day I killed Dyne. My Dyne! How could I? I almost ended it right there in the kitchen. But no, Marlene needs me. I got dressed and headed over to the Ekklestone cemetery. It was there that I saw my … my muse, my new inspiration. I was crying over Dyne's tombstone, laying down flowers when I heard weeping. The sobs sounded delicate and almost repressed, as if the mourner didn't want to be heard crying.
I didn't want to turn around and show the mourner I'd heard, so I sat facing the tombstone but listening all the while to the sobbing. Was this some widow crying for a lost husband? A motherless girl just becoming a woman? More tears came to my eyes at these thoughts. I sniffed and wiped at them, I wanted to look like a man if I faced this mysterious mourner. At long last, the sobbing subsided into whimpers and then nothing, and I turned and walked towards the grave and the weeper. Was it a widow? No. A lost child? No. It was a full grown man sobbing like a baby.
My heart leapt into my mouth.
Not only was he the most sensitive man I had ever seen, but he was also the most striking in every aspect. He had grey-silver hair, though he must have been near my age. His features were very rough and manly, I couldn't tear my eyes off this oddly rugged yet tear stained face.
"What're you lookin' at?" the man said, noticing my gaze and wiping his nose on his wrist. I felt my face growing warmer by the second.
"You come here often?" I asked lamely. The man's features softened into the sad, forlorn face of an abandoned infant as I asked the question.
"Yeah," he said quietly in his gruff voice, "every Sunday." He said, shuffling his foot near the grave he stood by. I moved closer. "You?" the silver headed man enquired.
"Sometimes."
"Oh." He grunted. We stood in silence for some seconds, the man shuffling his feet and looking down.
"'Kay, well, I better get going." I said. He said goodbye in his husky deep voice. I came home and then cried myself to sleep. I woke up just now before this diary entry. I better make dinner for Marlene.
July 17th – 2:00 PM
Couldn't sleep last night, slept at 3 or 4 AM finally. So this morning Cloud called and he was all like "wanna come over for dinner?" He's so sweet, he knows I'm going through a rough patch in my life. Again. So I think I'll go. I'll bring Marlene in case Denzel's there. Good thing Cloud invited me, almost out of Kraft Dinner.
5:17 PM
Great. Tifa my X-Friend is coming with her fiancé. That's gonna suck, but I know she'll bring little Denzel. That's good. Better get dressed now.
July 18th
Wow last night was surprisingly fun. Cloud's got a new boyfriend whose kinda cute. It was weird though, cuz he had silver hair like that guy I met in the cemetery. I wonder if I'll ever meet him again, he seemed so interesting, so new. Like no one I'd ever met before. So yeah, Tifa and Rude have apparently adopted little Denzel. They're still getting the legal work done. Tifa is really annoying, she always brings the subject back to herself. Like, before last night I never knew she was a hooker once in her career. Unfortunately I do now, can't quite remember how that came up.
Yuffie and Elena from the Turks showed up which was a little odd. Personally, I thought we'd made an unspoken pact never to talk to Yuffie again but I guess I was wrong. I don't know why Cloud still invites her after she stole his television set that one time. As for Elena, I forgot she existed. Maybe Rude brought her along.
July 19th – 4:30 AM
Can't sleep.
I keep thinking about that guy in the cemetery. Ugh. Maybe I'll sleep on the floor, that helps sometimes. Maybe I'll put my sailor PJs on. They're so cute and comfy. I wish I hadn't been such an idiot when the man from the cemetery had seen me. I was such a loser around him! I wish I could go back in time and redo the whole scene where I met him. I would say "Hi, I'm Barrett" and then I would have asked him his name and who he was crying for. I don't even know his name! Ugh. I bet his name is Bill. Or Dave. I'm going to try to sleep now.
Ughhh! I hate myself sometimes!!
July 22nd– 11:54 PM
I've got it! Didn't Dave say he went to Ekklestone cemetery every Sunday? Of course! It says so right here in my journal entry from the 16th! I'll just go back tomorrow and seem him again! I can't believe I never thought of that. And just in time for tomorrow. I want to get an early night so I look perfect for tomorrow. When I don't sleep my eyes get puffy.
God I'm so lonely. Everyone's got a love in their life except me. I mean Cloud's got this Kadaj kid he's dating now, Tifa and Rude are engaged, Cid's got Shera and I don't have any other friends. God I'm lonely. Oh wait, there's always Vincent. Last I heard he's single too. And Yuffie, unless she's going out with that Elena chick. Oh man, is Yuffie a lesbian? I gotta caller her and ask!
4 minutes later
Oh my god! Everyone's got a date except me. Even Yuffie. Why didn't she tell me? Am I not her friend? I had to ask very subtly about the lesbian thing. Actually I didn't, Elena answered the phone. Talk about awkward. Okay well its passed midnight now so I must sleep. Wish me luck, diary!