This is a fanfic behind Trixie and Cynthia. This is from Cynthias perspective. It is "based" from the show, because you can see more of their relationship better, and it is really a strong bond the have between them. I could not stop thinking that Trixie and Cynthia had a secret relationship. The way Cynthia talks about love and stuff. Really love them! If I ruined anything for you, I am terribly sorry!
"Have you heard, a new midwife is coming here" said Trixie to me. I laid down beside her in my bed. I took a deep breath and she moved closer to me.
"Yes, I heard Sister Julienne talk about it to the others." I wasn't that curious, but Trixie kept the subject.
"I bet she is just like us."
"How do you mean?" I talked with a calm voice, but something troubled me, and Trixie saw right trough me.
"What's wrong Cynth?"
"Don't know, I am just so worried about everything."
"Well, stop worrying, everything will be alright" She said, and that was all, she bent over and kissed me on the mouth, she looked at me with her blue eyes and whispered "It will all be fine".
It was late, we both realised it and Trixie was on her way out when she turned around and said "Sweet dreams Mills" and blew a kiss and closed the door. What would happen to us? I still had the worrying feeling in my stomach and I didn't know why.
The next day she arrived, Jenny Lee, high heels, beautiful face, thick brown hair, tall and pretty. I could not help liking her, she was very shy but very kind. Trixie was excited and she definitely liked her at once.
One evening, when Trixie and I were alone in the kitchen, I could not help asking "What do you think about the new girl?". I realised how curious i sounded.
"Well, I like her, she seems to be a good midwife. You?" She waited for the water to boil for the tea. I starred down on my knees and disappeared in my mind for a while. I really loved Trixie. I still do. But was that enough? If someone founded out about us we could have been ruined, at least Trixie. Oh Trixie, my darling! How I can miss you sometimes. When we both were on call and when I worked nights and you mornings. We both knew it was wrong, we knew it wouldn't work. Life were so much easier before we started working. All that parties in school, the long walks we took every afternoon. And more I thought about it, the more I liked her. Yes, we knew each other before we started working in Nonnatus House. All we wanted was to be together, we knew the risks, and also that we wouldn't see each other that much that we used to. But that didn't matter, the main thing was that we at least was together. Jenny came from the bathroom and I stopped thinking about Trixie immediately. Trixie sat beside me and we all three had a great chat.
We had a whole day off and Trixie decided we would do something.
"What do you have in mind?" Trixie asked. We sat on a meadow with a picnic in the sun. The sun was warm and I could feel a soft breeze on my face.
"Well, since we are here, and Mrs B has made us delicious sandwiches..." I said and smiled towards her. She reached for the basket and opened up.
"Salmon or turkey?" She asked and smiled.
"You choose, I don't mind". I couldn't decide but I knew she wanted the salmon.
"Alright, I'll take the salmon." She said happy.
I reached for the other one and started unwrap the paper around the sandwich.
Dead silence, Trixie unwrapped more of her sandwich, and mumbled something about it. I was hungry, but suddenly I didn't want to eat. I just looked down at the sandwich, it looked really good, with a lot of salads and slices of turkey. But everything reminded me of Trixie. Trixie were my soulmate, she was like the other half of me. Without her, I felt lost. It was like the world was going under, it sounds so cliché, but I she was away, or it could pass a week and we hadn't seen each other except when we had breakfast but it was always people there. Sometimes I missed her, her flirting and teasing, her funny moments and her naivety. She always believed in us, but I never did that. Not entirely, it was always a puzzle bite that was missing. But in my heart, I knew we were meant to be together.
"So, you did not answer my question?" She said and looked at me like she knew that I was thinking about us.
"I... Don't know... Just..." I couldn't talk straight. Only empty words and I knew she thought about us too. She took my hand and started studying my nails. It wasn't that I didn't have any polish, it was that she couldn't look me in the eyes.
"I feel like this is wrong, but my heart says it's right." I said and she looked at me with sad eyes.
"I don't want it to end, it's just that..." She stopped. I felt like something troubled her more than us.
"What is it dear?" I said with a calm voice, but I really wanted to know.
"Do you believe in us?" She said it like she was about to cry.
I was chocked, she has never asked me that. Mainly because that wasn't necessary and all of a sudden...
"Well, that depends..." I said and a thought came up in my head. "Do you?" I asked as the reply.
"Of course I do, but not the way I want it to be. I do love you Cynth, but will we ever tell our friends, our parents.." Her eyes was filled with tears. I dried her tears with my handkerchief that I always carried on.
"Do you remember when we first met?" I asked to get her more cheerful.
"Yes, of course. The first day of the term, right?" she looked at me, with her mascara ruined.
"Yes, I remember falling inlove with you immediately, with your high heels, your fluffy curls and the amazing mouth. The day you said you loved me was the happiest day of my life." I knew I didn't get with it anywhere, but it made her think of other thoughts.
"I remember that day. The first thing I noticed about was your height." She started laughing and so did I. Everyone noticed me like the tiny one. Then she moved and stood up and pulled me up on my feets and bowed "May I have a dance Ms Miller?". I giggled and bowed and smiled and said "Of course you can" and we turned around and around. It was amazing, dancing with her, laughing, with no one there, she bent towards me and we stopped turning around. "I love you" and I stood on my toes to reach for her lips and kissed her deeply. "I love you too".