Angel – Within Temptation

Summery: Mac doesn't tell Stella that he's getting to know Peyton a lot better and when she finds out in the wrong circumstances she realizes she should have told him her feelings a lot sooner.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything I wrote down. That includes song by Within Temptations and characters of CSI NY.

Sparkling angel I believe
You were my saviour in my time of need.
Blinded by my faith I couldn't hear
All the whispers, the warnings so clear.

Stella quickly walked down the halls towards the ME's office looking for Peyton. Mac told her he would go down and collect Peyton's findings on the DOA but he hadn't come back. Thinking he was held up with something she decided to go down her self.

Once she entered the ME's she couldn't see Peyton. Stella thought she might be in her office. She tapped on the door a few times but there was no answer. She could see it was slightly ajar so she peered in to see if Peyton was there. She had a clear view of her desk but Peyton wasn't sitting there. Then she noticed a shadow on the floor. She pushed the door open a little more to see if it was Peyton but she found it was more than just her.

Leaning on the wall was Mac, with Peyton in his arms, embraced in a kiss. Shocked at what she found she turned around to walk out of the office before Mac noticed her.

The smile when you tore me apart.
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You broke a promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.

'Stella?' She knew he called for her but she didn't want to stop. How could he? She thought, wouldn't I have been the 1st to know about this? In the distance behind her she could hear her name being called more than once but she ignored it was she tried to make her way to the locker rooms.

Crashing through the door she stood for a moment, glad that no one else was in there. Her breathing was quit fast as she had speed walked her way there. Walking towards the bench she sat on it trying to understand what had just happened.

In the midst of her thought she heard the doors to the locker room open and close. Hoping it was someone else; Mac appeared, walking slowly towards her.

'Stella?' His voice was calming and made her relax a bit before an image of what she saw earlier flashed through her mind. She didn't want to look at him, in case she burst into tears.

'Yes, Mac,' she tried to stay calm but it took all her strength to hold everything it, 'What do you want?'

'I'm sorry, really. I should have told you,' he sat down next to her and put his hand on her shoulder but she pushed it off and moved down the bench a little, 'I don't see why you are so hurt anyways.'

With that she turned to face him with the saddest expression she had ever given. I don't believe it, she thought, after all this time, all that we have been through he doesn't feel the same?

'It doesn't matter, Mac. You caught me by surprise I guess,' She tried her best to cover up her real meaning.

'No, there is something more. I know you too well, Stel.'

She took a deep breath then turned to face him. How was she going to tell him everything about how she felt towards their friendship in such a short time?

'Mac, we have been working with each other longer than we have been friends, we know each other too well, but I guess I just didn't know you well enough,' she cursed her self inside for starting to cry but she had no choice. 'I've just found that, maybe, we got to know each other too well and I was starting to fall for you. I know… I thought that you weren't interested in inter-office romances so I never stepped forward and I was scared you still couldn't get over Claire and everything would be too complicated, but now I know. Mac, you have no idea how much I regret all the times I wanted to say something,' She couldn't hold it in any longer than that. She finished her story then doubled forwards with her head in her hands sobbing.

She felt big, warm hands touch her shoulders and pull her up into a hug. She knew she shouldn't but she had to. She leaned into his shoulder and started to cry even harder. He held her strong for a moment before releasing her. When he did, he pulled her face up so that she looked directly in his eye.

'Stella, I wish you told me, I really do. I don't know how I would have felt before but if you asked now, I would say yes,' he paused for a moment as the flood of joy rushed through her only to be drained away when he continued, 'But I can't. Not now that I've started going out with Peyton. I can't just pull her off for someone who, I've only just found, loves me. You're my best friend, Stella, the best anyone could have and all I really could ask for now is one thing, that we remain friends. Maybe later, after Peyton, if there is an after, maybe then, it could be possible, but for now as much as I love you Stella, please be happy for us.'

Sparkling angel, I couldn't see
Your dark intentions, your feelings for me.
Fallen angel, tell me why?
What is the reason, the thorn in your eye?
There's no escape now
No mercy no more

She thought to her self for a moment, this was his first really hook up since Claire. He had one other but it didn't turn out so well. She knew that if they still wanted to be friends she was going to have to live with it, but she knew deep inside she would always love him as much as anyone would.

Getting up she looked at Mac, 'your right, I should allow you to live your life. If this is what you want than let it be, Mac. There will always be a place in side for you, know that.' She hated it but she gave a big fake smile to him, 'I'm sorry.'

She got up and walked out of the locker room, out into the world she now had to face on her own.

The smile when you tore me apart.
You took my heart,
Deceived me right from the start.
You showed me dreams,
I wished they'd turn into real.
You broke the promise and made me realize.
It was all just a lie.
Could have been forever.
Now we have reached the end.

A/N: That was my 1st SM fic. Actually, that is my first CSI: NY fic. I hope it's good. I like these one chapter-song inspired fics; their short and simple and all. I know it's a little sad for all you SM shippers out there but even though I am a SM supporter I don't really like to change what is already given to us by CBS and Anthony E. Zuiker. Anyway, read and review thanks!