by Tro
The muffled snickers he could hear coming from behind his cabin door were never a good sign. He sighed. Who would have thought his Sergeant Major would get along so well with a terribly notorious and wanted pirate? All he could hope for at this point was hope they were just talking instead of actively conspiring against him... this time.
Pressing the door open as quietly as possible, he glanced in to see two dark heads bent forward over what appeared to be a large book. They would have made an adorable picture if they weren't so obviously up to no good. Smoker frowned. In fact, that book looked an awful lot like his...
"Just what are you two doing with my photo album?" He made sure he had just the right amount of boom and ire in his voice to get the desired effect. Sure enough, both of them jerked up at the same time, foreheads colliding comically. Tashigi bounced back upon impact; Ace by far having the harder head of the pair.
"Sir, we were just—!"
"Never mind that," Ace cut off Tashigi's hasty attempt at an explanation, gleefully brandishing a faded photograph. "Tell me what you're doing with baby pictures of Roronoa Zoro!"
Of all the things he'd heard come out of the pirate's mouth, both in public and in private, that was possibly the most absurd. The biting words he had carefully chosen for this particular moment fled him as he glared. "What the fuck are you talking about, Portgas?"
Cheerfully, the pirate stuffed the picture in his hand and pointed excitedly to the small figure grimacing out from the faded paper. "Right there!" he added, rather redundantly.
Ace snuck a peek at Tashigi and she nodded. "I mean, it certainly looks like Roronoa..." She trailed off as the captain scowled darkly at her.
Turning his frown down towards the photo he sighed. "That's my late nephew, Terren. Not a pirate."
"Oh! I'm so sorry— we're both so sorry to bring up such painful memories!" Tashigi bowed low, cheeks blazing.
Snorting, Ace plucked the photo from Smoker's fingers. He gave it one long stare before digging around in the green backpack resting at the foot of the bed. With a triumphant shout, he dug out a similarly battered picture and held them both up for inspection. "See?"
Sure enough, identical very small faces glared out from the photos from under identical mops of green hair. Smoker's eyes bulged and he lunged for the pictures even as Tashigi dared lift her head from her bow to sneak a peek. "Where did you get that?" the marine demanded, snatching the pages away from the pirate.
Smiling secretively, Ace held his hands wide. "Sanji." As if that explained everything. Actually, it probably did, considering what he had seen of the Straw Hat pirates in Alabasta.
Tashigi opened her mouth to ask, then obviously came to the same conclusion and dropped her head again, blushing furiously again.
"You have got to be kidding me," Smoker managed to get out past gritted teeth, eyes flickering from one image to the other and back again. "Tell me this is a fake."
Ace laughed, slinging a companionable arm around Smoker's neck. "Nope! 'fraid not!" He peered down at the pictures. "Uncle, huh? Makes sense. The greenish hair, the perpetual scowl, those tasty, tasty abs." He paused to run an appreciative hand down those tasty abs. "Whew! I have to say, I was worried there for a second! I thought you might have been his dad!"
"Portgas!"