This was my response to a contest/challenge by aniloverji12 on deviantart. The story is supposed to include Greek/Roman mythology as a theme, but my story didn't really turn out that way. I figured I would put it up on fanfiction anyway in case anyone might enjoy reading it. Oh and I apologize if it is difficult to read Rome's lines. I wanted to try to write him with his accent, but it may make the sentences more confusing.
"Hey~ where is my adorable little grandson Italy?" Rome sung as he flung open the door of Germany's house.
"What!?" exclaimed the startled German as he sprung from his chair to face the man intruding upon his home.
"Oh. It tis a you Germany. Where is my Italy pumpkin?~" Rome questioned as he roamed from room to room calling for Italy.
"You again. Italy is not here, he has gone to visit Romano," the blond replied regaining his composer and putting away the gun he had been aiming at the overactive Roman.
"That is ah-dorable. My little Italy is ah visiting his brother Romano. My little grandsons get ah-long so well, I'm so proud of ah them." Rome proclaimed theatrically clutching his hands to his chest with watering eyes. As soon as he spotted the plate of wurst sitting on the table, he had returned to his usual flamboyant self and proclaimed,
"You cannot ah be eating wurst by yourself! It is so ah lonely and pathetic. I know food wise you can't expect ah much more when my grandson is not around, but you should ah-t least invite some pretty ladies to keep you ah company, no?"
"I'm perfectly fine eating alone. I, unlike you und your hyperactive grandson Italy, happen to enjoy a peaceful afternoon away from others where I can simply sit, relax, und enjoy my wurst" rebutted the aggravated German.
"Oh alright you can ah enjoy your "wurst" then. I'll ah leave you to it." Rome responded winking in understanding while heading toward the door.
"Thank you," the blond replied relaxing backing into his chair, oblivious to the innuendo.
"You are ah welcome. I knew you were not ah really that ah much of a saint. Every ah man needs to find some release every once and ah while, sí?"
"What are you talking about? One minute you're talking about leaving und the next you're..." a look of shocked worry crossed Germany's face, "Wait you didn't think I meant... That I was going to... You're even more perverted than France!"
"Well of ah course I am. Have you not ah seen all of my beautiful art? Oh the fun I ah used to have in the glory days," he sighed nostalgically. "Now ah-days I ah hardly get to have sex anymore~."
"Wait you seriously thought I was going to..." Germany trailed off.
"Masturbate? Sí~" Rome supplied enthusiastically.
"J-ja that. You thought I was going to commit such a perverted act und you decided to just leave me to it?" questioned the German puzzled.
"What? Did you ah want a little ah help from the great Sir Roman Empire? I would be ah happy to oblige." Rome offered.
"Nein!" Germany shouted. "I simply meant that you believed I was going to engage in such a perverted action yet you accepted it as though it was normal. Why?"
"Well it is ah only natural that a man has such desires. There is ah no reason to deny them so. But ah wait, if you were ah not going to masturbate you were actually going to sit here alone and eat? No, no, no! No friend of my lovely Italy is going to act like an uptight recluse. I will just ah have to eat with you!~" exclaimed the Roman as he plopped into a chair beside Germany.
"What!? Nein. You are going to get up und you are going to leave my house und you... you're not going to leave are you?" Germany sighed defeated. "Fine, you may stay for one meal und then you will get out of my home, ja?"
Rome simply nodded and grinned as he began to consume Germany's food.
"So ah where did you leave off last time we spoke? You were ah showing how much of a fan you were by telling me about my history no? I know, this ah time you should talk about my wonderful myths and legends," Rome announced shoving more food into his mouth.
*Sigh* "I suppose if I must. I have already mentioned Romulus and Remus correct?" Rome nodded.
"Well I suppose one of your most famous legends is Hercules."
"Oh, yes I love that one. But hmm. I have already ah heard my legends because well, they are ah my legends. I know! Who nowadays do you know that is most like Hercules?"
"What kind of question is that? You shouldn't change a story as great as Hercules!" exclaimed Germany.
"It is my legend, I can ah change it as much as I ah want," insisted Rome, crossing his arms defiantly.
"Fine," agreed the exasperated German. "I guess the only person I can think of that reminds me of Hercules is America. He is strong, he wants to be a hero, und he is stupid enough to believe that he would become immortal by completing twelve tasks."
"America huh~ I think he fits the role well! Good job my wurst loving friend!" praised the Roman exuberantly. Germany glared.
"What I ah thought it was a cute nickname and I do not ah want to keep calling you Germany," Rome said pouting. "Don't any of your friends call you by a nickname?"
"Well... Prussia calls me West, but that's about it" Germany admitted reluctantly.
"Oh how sad~ not even my wonderful Italy has a nickname for you?" Rome asked glancing expectantly toward Germany who shook his head no.
"Now I ah definitely need to give you a nickname," Rome grinned cheerily at the challenge.
"That's not necessary," Germany stated.
"Nonsense. Now how about my little fan? No? Well then what about potato dude? Ita-alli? Blondie? Maybe Hair Gel King? Ger-tastic? Umm... Mr. Saint? Mr. Respect?"
"If you insist on giving me a ridiculous nickname, just choose one already!" Germany demanded.
"Oh, I know," Rome continued on unfazed. "I'll call you my secret admirer!~"
"What?! No, you won't" refused Germany.
"Ah, ah, ah you told me to choose already so I did," Rome flashed a grin and waved his finger. "And now you will eternally be my secret admirer. I mean it fits you so ah well, you obviously are a fan of mine yet you won't admit it. It's perfect!"
"You know what, fine. I'll be you secret admirer alright. Now, you've eaten all of my wurst und it's time for you to leave" Germany said as he pushed Rome toward the door.
"I'll be back ah tomorrow!~ Then maybe I can tell my little Italy about your new nickname my secret admire... *thunk* Rome was cut off as Germany slammed the door. Chuckling merrily he strolled away from the German's house, planning all of the fun he would have the next day with his new secret admirer.
Translations: ja=yes (in German)
sí=yes (this is used in multiple languages including Spanish and Italian, although I only know the accent is necessary in Spanish, and Grandpa Rome uses this word when talking to Germany in the anime)
und=and (in German)