Pokemorphs
By: Gremlin
A knock echoed in the vast darkness where the Crayak sat on his throne. He looked around with his eye, searching for where it came from.
"Drode," he called one of his many servants, "Get that door for me."
"You are constantly living in fear," Drode rasped, "You can never conquer all, yet you fight the futile battle anyway. You..."
The Crayak sprouted an arm and clutched the Drode around it's neck. "Drode, how many times have I told you, don't try to annoy your boss." With that he threw the Drode into a black hole.
"Not again." The Drode shrieked as it was imploded.
The Crayak sighed, grew another arm and two legs, then searched for the door.
Crash!
"Okay, who put that table there?" The Crayak asked, holding his bruised knee. Nobody answered, so he continued in the dark, trying to find the door.
Finally, he reached the door. He slowly turned the handle and looked inside.
"I'm cold and the wolves are after me." Some old man whined. Wrong door.
The Crayak stumbled in the darkness until he found the right door.
"Hey, Crayak! Nice place you got here. Needs a little lighting, though. Did you forget to pay your electric bill again?"
"Who are you?" The Crayak hissed.
"Me? Don't say you don't remember me, 'cause I sure as heck remember you. It's LLTB! You know, Long-Lost-Twin-Brother. Listen, I sold a couple of bad universes, and I need to hide out. So, do you get HBO?"
"I don't have one of those mindless toys." The Crayak replied.
"What do you do for fun around here?" LLTB asked. The Crayak telekinetically brought forth six spheres. Four showed a human, one showed an Andalite, and one showed a hawk.
"Yippee. The Earth Yeerk Resistance Channel. Fun." LLTB muttered, then he saw one was playing a GameBoy. He grinned and snapped his fingers.
"What did you do?" The Crayak yelled, "Get out. No spheres for you!" Then, he looked at the sphere. He'd have to even the score. So he brought forth a sphere that showed Visser 3 and snapped his finger. LLTB dropped his luggage and looked for his room. At least the Crayak didn't see what he did to the Andalite's TV.
"Geodude, MegaPunch!"
"Starmie, Bubblebeam!"
Geodude fainted! Choose next Pokemon.
"Go, Weedle. Weedle, Poison Sting!"
Starmie Fainted!
"Wow, you're too much. All right. You can have the Cascade Badge to show you beat me!"
Marco got $2079 for winning!
What's this? Weedle is evolving! Weedle evolved into Kakuna!
"Who's the man? Who's the man?" I yelled.
"Marco, you the man outside if you don't put down that GameBoy now." My dad threatened. So, I did the only thing any rational person would do. I went outside with my GameBoy. It was a nice Sunday morning, anyway. I walked to the forest near Cassie's. Ax would be watching the TV show, Pokemon, and Tobias was hunting, so I would be alone. Except my Pokemon, of course. My Gameboy had been acting a little weird this morning, but it was fine now, since stopped levitating.
"I feel like fishing. Do you think I should fish, Kakuna?" I asked, going into my inventory and using the old rod. Nothing. Not even a nibble.
I used the old rod again. Yes! I caught something.
Wild Magikarp attacked!
I groaned. All Magikarp could do was Splash.
Still, I needed it for my Pokedex.
Go, Spearow! Spearow, Fury Attack. Magikarp was hit twice. Marco used PokeBall. Yes, Magikarp was caught! New Information will be added to Pokedex. Since there is no more room, Magikarp will be transferred outside Gameboy.
"What?" I asked, it should say "Transferred to PC."
The Gameboy started humming. It started levitating again.
"Maybe it's faulty, and I should ask Dad for a Gameboy Color." I said.
Then, the screen got really bright, and the Pokeball took up the screen. Fwoosh! The Pokeball flew out of the Gameboy. Whap! It hit me in the eye.
"That will leave a bruise." I groaned.
Fortunately, the Gameboy stopped levitating, so I could continue. But instead, for some reason, I picked up the Pokeball it spat out.
"What the heck?" I said, and realeased whatever was inside the Pokeball.
"Magikarp. Karp. Karp." A Magikarp Splashed around.
"YES!" I screamed, and ran up to it. I scratched it behind it's gills.
"Magi. Magikarp." Magikarp said happily.
"Hey, Magikarp, do you think it will happen again?" I asked. Magikarp shrugged.
"Let's find out. Then, I'll show you to Cassie. Now, which Pokemon should I get next? I know, Mankey!" I yelled.
"Karp." Magikarp agreed.
"Okay, Cassie," I said, barging into the barn, "What was so important that I had to miss the shoe sale at the mall?"
"MANKEY!" Yelled a bizarre little furball as it jumped at my head and started covering my face with something that resembled a kiss.
"Mankey!" Marco said, charging "Don't kiss Tobias's love interest! It's bad for the story's popularity!"
"Mankey?" The creature said sadly, as it crawled off my face.
"No! Bad Mankey! Very, very bad." Marco lectured as the monkey thing dropped to the floor. Then, Cassie walked in.
"What was that?" I asked as Cassie.
"A Pokemon." Cassie replied, "Jake's in there watching over Magikarp, another one. By the way, somehow, Marco can translate what they say."
"That, thing kissed me!" I said.
"Mankey, Mank. Eee!" Mankey muttered.
"You can't say that!" Marco yelled, "Do you realize Scholastic AND Game Freak could, could, could...Do something really bad to us! Like, like...fill the story with oxymorons!"
"That is so stupid. They would never do something so trivial." I kindly insulted Marco.
"He gets it from watching X-Files." Cassie loudly muttered.
"Mankey?" Mankey wonderingly stated.
"No, Rachel didn't like getting kissed." Marco replied, "And stop using that word. I can't believe this story didn't censor that."
"How did they get here?" I murmered, energetically wearied from all the bad writing.
"Well," Cassie began to sing, "In the not to distant past, just a half hour ago, Somone was playing Gameboy. That someone was Marco..."
"Cassie" I said.
"Yes?"
"Shut up."
Cassie stopped, and we went to see Jake.
"Okay," Jake said when he saw me, "Enough of us are here. Marco, show us how it happened."
Marco took his Gameboy and started playing.
After a few tense minutes that would probably bore you, Jake asked, "Marco, what are you doing?"
"I'm evolving my Kakuna." He replied.
"WHAT?" I yelled, "That's such a waste of time!"
"No it isn't. I want to make it to the Pokemon League." Marco explained. Then, the Gameboy started levitating.
"This didn't happen when Weedle evolved." Marco stated.
"Plot hole." Jake muttered.
A red and white ball flew out, and hit Marco in his already bruised eye.
"Marco, what is it?" Cassie asked. Marco threw it and it opened.
"Beedrill." a Beedrill muttered.
"Wow," I said, "Now what?"
"I think we should find Ax." Jake said, and we all got up to leave. Marco picked up his Magikarp, while his Beedrill flew right behind him.
"Why do we have to find Ax?" Marco asked, "He probably slept through the 'Stuck in a pathetic crossover with Gameboy Games' class anyway."
"Mankey. Ee. Mank." Mankey said, whill clinging to one of my legs.
"You are one sick Pig-Monkey," Marco replied to the Pokemon.
"Pokemon, It's you and me. I know it's my destiny!" The television set sang out. I attempted to sing with it. That was a joke. Andalites can't sing. Laugh. Please? Okay, nevermind.< Pokemon, Oh your my best friend, In a world we must defend. > I thought-sang with the TV."< Pokemon. You're so true. Our courage will pull us through. You teach me and I teach you. Pokemooooooooon! Gotta catch 'em all! Gotta catch 'em all! Pokemon! >"
This show Marco introduced me to is very informative. Until now, I never knew what a Pikachu was. I asked Marco if we could go look for one at the zoo, but he rolled his eyes. I believe this means, "I would rather watch the cirrus formations above." When I tried to verify this with Marco, he rolled his eyes again.
"Today we join our heroes as they are hiking through an unusual forest." The announcer explained.
"Boy," Ash said, "This forest is sure unusual."
"Pika pika." Pikachu agreed. I have never understood why Pikachu can only say his name. I asked Marco about this, but the cirrus formations must have been very interesting that day.
"We're not lost again, are we?" Misty asked.
"Hmm?" Brock said, holding his map, "Oh no. We're not lost. The next gym is obviously this way. Or is it this way? Maybe that way?"
"We're lost." Misty muttered. Then the title began.
"Pokemorphs #1: The Crossover!" Ash said. I had never seen this episode before.
"Oh," Brock stated as soon as the title was over, "Look at that. I was holding the map upside-down the entire time. We've walked past the edges! Silly me."
"What?" Ash and Misty yelled. I could almost hear their voices as if they were just a few feet away.
"Pika-chu!" said Pikachu as he shocked Brock.
"Hey," Misty said, pointing to some clearing, "What's that?" She was pointing at a large, blue, centaur-like creature with a scorpion-like tail.
"I don't know," Ash said, "But I'm gonna catch it!"
"Why do you have to always catch them?" asked Misty. They began one of their many arguments. Then, it was a commercial break. I turned around.
"You always catch the Pokemon! You've gotten Muck, Butterfree, Primeape, Pidgeotto, Bulbasaur, Charmander, Squirtle, and Pikachu!" Misty yelled.
"Fine! Let's ask Brock!" Ash retorted. They turned to their still electrocuted friend.
"Uhhh." Brock groaned.
"See? Brock agrees with me." Misty stated.
"Huh? Oh, fine." Ash replied.
"Starmie, I choose you!" Misty yelled. A Staryu flew out.
"Oops, wrong one." Misty said, blushing, "Starmie, I choose you!"
"Psy-yi-yi." Psyduck groaned.
"No! Psyduck, get back." Misty yelled. Psyduck just charged at me.
< Fascinating. > I stated. Psyduck tripped and fell. Misty groaned. Then, I knealed over to look at it.
"Psyduck!" Psyduck jumped up, accidentally hitting my stalk eyes with his head.
< AAAAAAAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHH! > I said, falling over.
"Go, Pokeball!" Misty yelled.
"Not so fast!" A voice stated.
"Who said that?" Ash asked.
"Prepare for trouble." Jessie began.
< Oh, shut up. > I muttered.
"Who said that?" James shrieked, jumping into Jessie's arms.
"Nevermind." Meowth muttered, "Let's just get that rare Pokemon!"
"Right," James yelled, "Go, Weezing!"
"That's not Weezing! It's a Voltorb!" Jessie screamed.
"Voltorb." Voltorb said, and promptly self-destructed, sending Team Rocket towards the horizon.
"Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!" Team Rocket yelled.
"Anyway," Misty said, "Go, Pokeball!" I felt myself being sucked into the Pokeball, or whatever happens to Pokemon when they get caught. Then, I was trapped in a small sphere.
< Let me out! I am an Andalite -uh- Prince! Yes! That's it. If you don't, I will send my -um- my troops to destroy you! > I threatened.
"Who said that?" Misty's voice asked.
"Uh," Ash stammered, "It c-c-came from the p-p-pokeball."
"It's haunted!" Brock yelled. I felt a thud from my pokeball hitting the ground and began to wish that I could see some cirrus formations to roll my eyes at.
I eyed my hapless prey as it scrambled in futility to find some cover. I smiled in my mind and began to take the dive which would end the rabbit's existence.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Something flew by me and caused me to lose balance.
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Another object flew by and scared off my brunch. (I was in a classy mood. I planned to go all day without eating a rat or shrew.)
WHOOOOOOOOO-WHAP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The last object hit me head on and grabbed me with it's claws.
Claws?
I looked up to see a very cat-like creature holding me. I don't like cats. I began to try to escape, but then we crashed. I looked at the other two objects. They were people, but how they survived practically unscathed is a mystery. I also began to wonder how the boy got blue hair. Then, the cat held me tightly, so I could barely move.
"We're such losers." The boy moaned, "We'll never get that Pikachu."
"Shut up, James." Snarled the girl, "We just need a better plan."
"You two goons had a plan?" The cat asked, "How 'bout next time, you get your Pokemon out of their Pokeballs?" Only, he said 'their' like 'dare.'
"Meowth, do you have a better plan?" James asked.
"Yep," Meowth retorted, "We capture dat rare Pokemon and Pikachu with dis Pokemon!" Meowth held me up by my neck. I was slightly upset, so I raked his face with my talons.
"AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGZHZHZHZHZHZHZH!!!!!!!!" Meowth yelled.
Later, I would wonder how someone could say, "ZHZHZHZHZHZHZH" but then, I just wanted to escape. The two people were laughing.
"You look like a scratching post!" James cackled. Meowth turned red and scratched the two of them in their faces.
"Just get dat rare bird Pokemon!" Meowth yelled.
"Weezing, go!" James yelled, throwing a red and white ball, which released something reminiscient of purple moons melted together.
"Arbok, go!" the female yelled. Out of her ball came a huge cobra.
"You said that with such flair, Jessie." James told her.
"Well, I've been practicing." Jessie replied, blushing.
"Will you two clowns stop clowning and get dat rare Pokemon?" Meowth yelled.
This brought the two back to their senses, which was bad for me, since I couldn't find any decent thermals.
"Weezing, Smokescreen!" James yelled, and the Weezing weezed out a ton of smoke. However, I found a thermal, and barely missed getting caught in it.
Unfortunately, the Weezing followed me on the thermal, and hit me from behind.
< AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! > I yelled as I fell from the sky into the smoke.
"Who said that?" Jessie asked. They didn't know thought-speak. That was good.
< Do not capture this mighty bird, or you shall endure great suffering. > I threatened.
"It's a ghost!" James shrieked, jumping into Jessie's arms.
"Get serious, you two," Meowth answered, "Dat bird ain't mighty. It must have been talkin' 'bout some othe' bird." Dang it, "Besides, dat voice sounds like a dweeb's."
< Yeah, well you don't sound like John Wayne yourself. > I muttered.
"Arbok, Wrap!" Jessie yelled. Out of nowhere, the snake wrapped it's coils around me.
"Pokeball, go!" Jessie yelled.
"Wait, how come you get to capture it?" James asked, before she threw the Pokeball.
"Because I'm the smart one!" Jessie replied.
"But I'm the dreamer." James answered. The Arbok rolled it's eyes.
"I'm more evil." Jessie retorted.
"Are not."
"Are too."
"Are not."
"Are too."
"Are not."
"Are too."
"Shut up and capture it already!" Meowth yelled.
Jessie threw her ball and I got sucked into it.
I was trapped, so I just decided to take a nap in that little ball.
By the time we got to Ax's scoop, Marco had evolved his Spearow, which rode on Marco's shoulder, Mankey had kissed Rachel three times, Rachel had hit Mankey twice, Jake dropped Magikarp once, but apologized and scratched it behind it's gills, and Beedrill had run into one tree while preventing normal bees from getting near the flowers we passed.
We knew something was amiss when we couldn't hear Ax "singing" to the Pokerap, which, Marco assured us, was something sacriligious to him.
Instead, we saw three kids and a yellow mouse hiding behind the rock.
"Hello." Jake said. All four of the odd group jumped about ten feet in the air.
"Pika...CHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" the mouse yelled, somehow sending an electric charge through the air and shocking us.
"Unh." Jake said.
"Unh." I agreed.
"Ee." Mankee groaned, still trying to kiss Rachel.
"Get off me you little freak!" said Rachel, kicking Mankee into the air. We watched until it disapeared.
"Nice Pikachu." Marco told the kid in the hat.
"Thanks, I'm Ash Ketchum. This is Brock and Misty." Ash said. We introduced ourselves.
"Hey," Jake asked, handing me Magikarp, "Have you seen a big blue, centaur like creature with a scorpion like tail?"
"Oh, ummmmmmmmmm..." Ash began.
"He's haunting a perfectly good Pokeball of mine!" Misty yelled.
"Ooooooooookay," Marco said, "That makes sense."
Misty kicked him in the face.
"I like her attitude," Rachel said, "Even if she thinks Ax is haunting her pokeball." Misty tried to kick Rachel, missed, then kicked Rachel with her third kick.
"You'll have to excuse Misty." Brock said.
"Yeah," Ash agreed, "She's a little nutty." I think we all know what happened to him. Fortunately, they were all inexplicably healed within fifteen seconds.
"Look," Jake said, trying not to offend Misty, "We just want Ax."
"What? I'm not letting you take him!" Misty replied.
"What? He's our friend." I said, "Besides, you won't use him, you'll just hide from him."
"I'll do a Pokemon fight for him." Misty offered.
I agreed.
"You can use my Pokemon." Marco offered.
"Go, Starmie!" Misty yelled, throwing forth an odd, starfish like creature.
"Go, Magikarp!" I replied. Magikarp tried to Splash around in the grass while Starmie tackled it.
"Can't Magikarp do anything?" Rachel asked.
"Only Splash, which doesn't affect any Pokemon." Marco said.
"It's worthless!" Rachel yelled, running onto our makeshift Pokemon stadium and kicked Magikarp into a nearby stream.
Suddenly, we heard a distant, "Mankee!" We looked up. A small speck slowly got bigger, until we could easily make out Mankee's terrified face.
Eventually, Mankee landed. On Starmie.
"That's not fair!" complained Misty. Then, we all turned back to Magikarp, who was glowing.
"What's going on?" Jake asked.
"Magikarp is evolving." Brock explained.
"Uh oh." Ash muttered.
"Pika-pi." Pikachu agreed.
Magikarp suddenly grew from about 3 feet long to about 21 and a half feet long. It was big and vicious and Marco's Fearow, which until this point had eyed Magikarp hungrily, was hiding behind Marco and myself who were hiding behind Cassie, who in turn was hiding behind a rock. (Beedrill was hiding behind Fearow, while Rachel was standing in plain sight. Mankey was terribly distressed, trying to decide whether to hide, or try to kiss Rachel again.)
"What is that thing?" asked Cassie to Brock, Ash, and a sullen Misty. (They were hiding behind Beedrill, while Pikachu was hiding behind them, since everyone knows we can't have the cutest Pokemon get hurt.)
Ash pulled out a little red thing that looked like a high-tech calculator.
"Gyarados," It said, "A large, dragon Pokemon. Very powerful and mean. It likes to use Dragon Rage, Hydro Pump, and Hyper Beam to pummel helpless opponents who kicked it while it was just a Magikarp."
"Informative." Marco stated.
"Gyarrrra." Roared Gyarados. (Though it sounded more like a "Grrrraah.")
"It's powering up to perform Hyper Beam." Brock explained.
"I thought all it needed to do was recharge afterwards." Marco replied.
"It's just common myth." Brock answered.
"Any decent trainer knows that." Ash said, acting very high and mighty towards Marco. However, that stopped win Beedrill, Fearow, and Mankey -who decided kissing Rachel wasn't worth upsetting Gyarados- all beat up on Ash rather severely. (All three were very loyal, despite having various odd quirks.)
Just then, Gyarados shot a Hyper Beam (or something) out of it's mouth at Rachel. When the dust settled, -I always wanted to say that- Rachel lay on the ground, slightly burnt around the edges, twitching spasmodically -I always wanted to say that, too-. Mankey ran up to her, but before he could kiss her, she shot out a hand, grabbed it by it's pig nose, and threw it back to us. (Fortunately, it didn't decide to evolve.)
Then, Pikachu got annoyed with Fearow and Beedrill beating up Ash, and tried to shock them. It missed. Instead, it hit the rock which was our cover.
The rock exploded. (This shocked Beedrill so much, it fainted, and Fearow flew back behind Marco and I, so it wasn't a total loss for Pikachu, since you can't beat up on someone when you've fainted or are hiding.)
Gyarados could finally see the rest of us. It stared at us with eyes that were practically a light-reddish-orange with fury. It was clearly deciding which way to fry us. Then, it lay it's head down beside Marco and I with an imploring grin.
"I think it wants us to scratch it behind it's gills." I muttered.
"Of course it does," Marco replied sarcastically, while scratching, "That's what I thought the first time I saw it after it evolved. I thought, "Gee what a sweet little creature. I bet it wants to be scratched behind it's gills."
"How come Gyarados didn't fry them?" Misty asked, stupefied at Gyarados's behavior. (She had forgotten about Starmie, which just recovered from Mankey falling on it.)
"Gyarados remembered Jake and Marco treating him kindly as a Magikarp. He trusts them." Brock replied.
"I think we've gotten our quota of sappiness for today." Marco cracked.
"Not with that Pikachu here." Cassie replied, walking up to us.
"Pika! Pika!" Pikachu said, (Easily doubling the sappiness so far.)
However, this brought Gyarados's attention towards Ash's group. I can't explain, what he did (Although later Marco assured me it was Hydro Pump.) but when it was over, all four were completely soaked and Starmie had fainted.
"I won." Cassie stated.
"Huh?" Misty wearily asked.
"Your Starmie fainted. We get Ash." Cassie explained. Misty consented, under the watchful eye of Gyarados, and gave us the Pokeball.
"Who wants a stupid old haunted Andalice, or whatever, anyway?" She muttered.
We released Ax. Marco made a joke about Ax being Cassie's Pokemon. Ax threatened to remove the arm of anyone who tries to put him in another Pokeball. Then, we decided to go into town. I felt compelled to state people would notice the Pokemon we had, but figured it was another plot hole and forgot about it.
There was finally some light in the Crayak's abode. This was all LLTB's doing. They had to have light to see their tux's, he explained, how else were they going to successfully fidget?
"I can't believe you talked me into this." The Crayak said as he successfully fidgeted with his bow tie.
"It'll be good for you." LLTB told the Crayak, "When was the last time you went on a date?"
"During the Spanish Inquisition," The Crayak replied, "Or was that the Crusades? I keep mixing the two up. Who are we double dating with again?"
Suddenly, in an effort to build up the drama, the doorbell rang. (It had been a soap opera character previously, and, while this was a step up, old habits, such as doing things suddenly to build the drama, die hard.)
LLTB rushed to the door. He opened it and greeted the two dates. The Crayak rushed out, extremely nervous. He stared at the dates.
"I'm dating the Ellimist?" He said. Now he was extremely embarrassed. He always thought the Ellimist was a guy. Well, he thought, at least I know why this whole thing started. (It didn't start the way the Ellimist told the Animorphs. The Ellimist used to be a soap opera star too, and felt the real tale was too dull. What really happened is when the Crayak moved in, the Ellimist came over to welcome him into the community, but was highly offended when the Crayak kept asking her to watch Baywatch with him.)
"Actually, Crayak," LLTB stated, "I'm dating Ellimist. You get LLTS. Ellimist's Long Lost Twin Sister."
The Crayak breathed an unnoticable sigh of relief and escorted LLTS out the door, right behind LLTB & the Ellimist. You know, he thought, staring at the Ellimist's backless dress, she's kind of cute.
What will happen to the Animorphs?
What will happen to the Crayak?
What will happen to the author ? (like anyone cares)
All this and more in the second half of...Pokemorphs!