Warning: This chapter contains one "Kirk-ish" scene but is not M. Oh, and a bit of language.

A/N: Many, many thanks to DaniWilder for all of her suggestions and the Beta. Gracias, JJ

Dis-Harmony

Chapter One

King for a Day and a Knight

"Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay to the Gate Room! Colonel Sheppard and Dr. McKay!" Chuck's voice echoed through the corridors of Atlantis.

The two men arrived in the Operations area at the same time. Sheppard was wearing his workout gear and still carrying his Bantos rods. McKay, well, he looked as if he'd dressed in a hurry. His pants were badly wrinkled and his shirt was buttoned crooked leading Sheppard to conclude that his friend had not been working late as he'd said he would be.

"Did you get dressed in the dark again, McKay?"

"What are you talking about?" McKay looked down at himself, rolled his eyes and adjusted the buttons. "Oh. Yeah. I finished work and went to bed early."

"Alone?"

"Yes, alone! Who-" He was cut off when they arrived at Ops.

"What's going on, Chuck?"

"We have a priority message for you and Dr. McKay from M84-414. Audio only."

"Let's hear it."

Chuck tapped at his workstation. "John and Rodney, it is I, Flora, of the planet you call M84-414. My sister, the queen, has asked that I contact you on her behalf. It greatly saddens us to inform you of the death of our sister, Mardola. She perished at the beginning of this lunar cycle from a fever for which she had refused medical treatment while imprisoned.

"We know that you were fond of her and that you would want to be here for her memorial service which will be performed within the next three days. Though the circumstances are sorrowful, we look forward to seeing both of you again."

"Mardola? She's the one that Harmony put in prison because she was in league with the Genii."

Sheppard nodded. "Chuck, send our condolences and tell them that we will be honored to attend. And see if you can find out anything about their funeral practices so we don't make any major goofs."

"Yes, Colonel. Should I inform Mr. Woolsey?"

"No. We'll do that ourselves." He and McKay were already on their way and didn't hear Chuck's reply.

Chuck caught up with them as they were leaving Woolsey's office a few minutes later. "Colonel Sheppard, I spoke with someone on the royal council about their funeral etiquette and he said that you should just abide by our own traditions and customs regarding dress and behavior."

"Thanks. Dr. McKay and I will be leaving within the hour and staying at least three days."

"Yes, sir."

* * * * *

Sheppard and McKay arrived in the Gate Room, each with a garment bag and a duffle. At Sheppard's nod Chuck dialed the 'gate and the men stepped through. The settlement was a brisk walk from the 'gate but they barely noticed their surroundings this trip.

They were greeted by the sentries and escorted through the settlement and into the castle. Sheppard looked around but found no major changes in the décor since the last time they'd been here. The furnishings were medieval and more luxurious than that of the common citizens of the settlement.

Their escort bade them to sit at the long table where four place settings of the finest china glittered in the flickering candle and torchlight. A decanter of wine was surrounded by what would have been Reidel crystal wine glasses had they been on Earth.

Rodney had both hands on the table and drummed his fingers incessantly. Finally, John couldn't take it anymore. "That's enough, McKay!"

"I can't help it. I usually eat when I'm nervous but they haven't given us food though it looks like they will this time so I have to do something with my hands. Aren't you nervous?"

"No. Why should I be?"

"Well, we haven't been here since we took Harmony on that pilgrimage to the Temple of Larus more than two years ago. I mean, how are we supposed to treat her now that she's the queen? Do we bow and call her 'your majesty'?"

"I don't know but I'm sure we'll find out soon enough. She's not exactly shy about getting her point across."

"True." Rodney started drumming his fingers again but stopped when John gave him a dangerous stare.

Movement at the arched entrance brought both men to their feet and a few moments later Flora entered. She stepped forward, both hands extended. "John, Rodney, thank you so much for coming. My sister had originally asked that you not be contacted but I persuaded her that you would want to observe Mardola's passing even though she had dishonored herself with her duplicity."

"We are sorry for your loss, Flora. If there's anything we can do, please don't hesitate to ask." John told the beautiful young woman. She was dressed much as they'd seen her in the past, dark brocade in Earth tones with her hair loose about her shoulders. She was still attractive even if in a less obvious way than Mardola had been. Her younger sister had been quite fond of displaying her…assets in such a way that it was nearly impossible not to be distracted by them during trade negotiations, which could have been her motivation in the first place. It certainly kept the men from Atlantis hanging on her every…word.

"There is nothing you need do except attend the ceremony. My sister and I will be speaking as well as a few others. If you wish, you may do so as well." She dropped their hands.

"Thank you. We'll think about it and let you know. On our world it's known as the eulogy, a kind of tribute to the departed. We didn't know what the dress code was so we just went with what our culture dictates. Since I'm in the military, I've brought my dress uniform."

"And you, Rodney?"

"Oh, uh, civilians usually wear dark, conservative clothing so I've brought a suit."

"Ah, that will be acceptable." She gestured to the table. "It is sad that the death of our sister comes at a time when there are other more joyous occasions to celebrate. Queen Harmony has asked that you join us for the evening meal. There is much she would like to discuss with you."

The men exchanged confused looks. "Uh, Flora, do you think it's appropriate for us to discuss business at a time like this?"

She smiled. "Not only is it appropriate, it is quite necessary, but I will allow Harmony to tell you of these things. Please, make yourselves comfortable. My sister and I will be with you shortly."

* * * * *

"So what do you think she looks like now?"

"Who?"

"The Royal Pain, of course. She was barely 13 when we saw her last. I'm sure she's grown up a little in the last two plus years."

John looked as if he hadn't considered that aspect and shrugged indifferently. "She's probably still ticked off at me about the whole grabbing her pendent and summoning the Beast of Larus thing but didn't want to offend a trading partner by excluding me." He looked around as if a thought had just occurred to him. "By the way, what do you think happened to that embarrassing painting she had made?"

Rodney had begun to wander around the room opening drawers, looking out windows and behind curtains. He lifted a bright burgundy drape. "Here it is." John came over and together they stared at the painting hidden there. "Huh. Looks like she's gotten over it." A sound at the entrance had them quickly dropping the curtain back into place and turning around guiltily.

Flora smiled as she extended a hand to someone out of sight and a fair long-fingered hand was placed in hers. She walked forward and brought with her one of the most beautiful females either men had ever seen. This vision in purple was equal in height to Flora and had the same dark wavy hair but there the resemblance ended. While Flora's hair barely touched her clavicle the newcomer's reached well past her waist. Where Flora was exceptionally pretty, she could only be called stunning, graceful and sensuous. Her dark eyes watched them, meeting theirs without blinking, without fear, with…fire.

"Gentleman, her royal majesty, Queen Harmony."

"Uh…" was all John could say. Rodney couldn't even say that much. He just stared.

Harmony dropped Flora's hand then a big grin lit up her face as she ran forward. "Rodney!" She exclaimed, throwing herself into the physicist's arms and planting a kiss on his cheek. He stumbled backward, his arms going around her waist instinctively. He'd been this close to her before when he'd saved her from the Genii sent to assassinate her at the behest of her sister and had thought nothing of it. She had been a child then and in his arms she had felt like a slightly larger version of his niece, Madison. Now she felt and smelled like…a woman. A soft, shapely, magnificent…woman.

"H-H-Harmony?"

"Yes, Rodney. It is I." She held him tightly for a long time then pushed out of his arms and gathered John into a hug of much shorter duration.

"It is good to see both of you again."

Rodney cleared his throat and stepped back trying to rebuild his comfort zone. He also attempted to regain his sense of decorum. Not only was this…vision of womanhood the supreme leader of her people, she was also a teenage girl and he had no right thinking some of the things he was thinking about her. A sidelong glance at John and he could tell by the look on his face that they were thinking along the same lines. Shame on both of us!

* * * * *

The kitchen staff quietly removed the remnants of their meal while John, Rodney, Flora and Harmony spoke quietly together. The teenage queen had insisted that Rodney sit to her right with John and Flora on her left.

Harmony took every opportunity to touch Rodney on the hand or arm. To John's way of thinking she did it way more than was necessary. He hadn't been paying attention to the conversation until she suddenly reached out and took him by the hand. "Please accept my sincerest condolences on the death of your father, John."

Flora added her voice. "And mine as well. Do you have other family with which to share your grief?"

"Uh, yeah. My brother, his wife and kids. It's been a while so I'm over it. Sort of."

"Good. I…wish for you to know that I have forgiven the offense you committed while escorting me on my pilgrimage to the Temple of Larus and have reinstated you as a hero to the crown." She gave his hand another small squeeze and released him.

"That is very, uh, generous of you."

She turned to the physicist. "And Rodney, tell me of your own adventures since last we spoke."

"Oh, well, uh, at one point I was trapped in an abandoned Genii mining facility with Colonel Carter and, uh, Dr. Keller. Tremors caused the room to destabilize but we managed to get out just before it fell into a deep chasm."

Harmony straightened her spine. "No doubt you were the one who heroically saved the day as you did when you saved me from the Genii and restored the ruins."

"Well, actually, it was Jennifer's idea." Without knowing it, his voice had taken on a softer tone filled with pride in the beautiful, intelligent doctor. Harmony noticed and her brows came together in annoyance. "We were trying to figure out a way to climb out when a tremor hit and she fell out into the chasm dangling from a rope. That's how she found the passage to the surface."

"And Jennifer is this Dr. Keller you mentioned?" He nodded. "I am…pleased that you were not injured."

Involuntarily, Rodney looked down at his hands. "Well, I was, a little, but Sam, uh, Colonel Carter, broke her leg. We were lucky to get out alive."

"I see." Harmony watched him contemplatively. She pushed back from the table and stood. A nod of her head and a young man came forward. By his dress and manner he was obviously a servant. "Gentlemen, you will now be shown to your sleeping chambers. The memorial for my departed sister will be tomorrow after the mid-day meal. Rodney, I wish to caution you that the ceremony will take several hours so you must be certain to consume enough nourishment to prevent, what did you call it?"

"Hypoglycemia?"

"Yes. That is it. I am sorry but we do not permit food to be consumed during the ceremony. Immediately following the service there will be a period of two hours of quiet contemplation for all who mourn Mardola. After which we will meet for the evening meal. We will discuss the other very important matters at that time."

"Yes, Your Majesty." The two men from Atlantis replied at the same time with a small bow. They were startled when she laughed.

"There is no need for such formality between the queen and the heroes of the crown. You may continue to call me Harmony." She inclined her head and swept out of the room.

The young man gestured and John and Rodney followed him from the room. When they arrived in their assigned chambers they found that their bags had already been placed there and their clothes had been hung up. Their dop kits had been placed in the en-suite and the beds were already turned down.

In Rodney's case, his computer equipment had been placed on an ornate desk in one corner of the room. He walked around looking at the sumptuous furnishings. There was a sitting area consisting of two armchairs and a long comfortable-looking sofa. The en-suite was through a door to the left of the bed and through an enormous walk-in combination dressing room and closet. One wall was nothing but mirrors. Not the sliding kind that hid more closet space. Just mirrors. Purple was Harmony's favorite color and it was used liberally throughout the castle but especially here.

He went back out into the bedroom area and sat on the bed. Bouncing a little he kicked off his boots then scooted back until he was completely on the bed and still could barely reach the other side. The bed was way bigger than a California King! He looked up at the canopy at least two stories above his head. Long fringed curtains hung from each bedpost. He could see that they were meant to be drawn together to completely enclose the bed and he did so now. "Oh, wow! This is the coolest bed ever! I am going to sleep like a log tonight."

The door opened and closed. "Rodney?"

He stuck his head out and scowled at John. "Thanks for knocking."

John didn't hear him. He was too busy scoping out the room. "How come your room is bigger than mine?" The Colonel walked into the dressing room, his voice echoing. "Your bathroom's bigger, too, and you have a walk-in closet. All that's in my bathroom is…a bathroom."

"Well, I didn't ask for it if that's what you're implying."

"I'm not implying anything, Rodney. Don't be so sensitive. Remember, size doesn't matter…or so they keep telling us."

They talked for a while then John returned to his own room for the night.

* * * * *

After his shower, John brushed and flossed his teeth, pulled the towel from around his waist, rubbed his hair vigorously then hung the thick cloth on a large hook to dry. He stepped into his favorite black sleep pants and pulled his shirt on as he walked back into the bedroom. His room was less than half the size of Rodney's with no sitting area and a less vibrant color scheme, mostly just burgundy and gold with small touches of purple and green. The bed was huge but again not nearly the size of Rodney's. If he didn't have such a high sense of self worth he might be insulted but the room was more than triple the size of his quarters on Atlantis so he didn't give it another thought.

He roamed around the room putting out candles and torches until the only light left was the lamp on the bedside table. Reaching into his duffle he pulled out a Spiderman comic, flipped back the covers, lay down and began to read.

The webslinger was just about to begin his final dramatic fight scene with the Chameleon when he heard a faint knock at his door. He padded quickly across the floor thankful for the carpeting because the room had become chilly. Opening the door he was surprised to see a familiar face. "Flora? It's late. Is something wrong?"

"No, John. Nothing is wrong." She eased into the room, shut the door and leaned against it watching him with wide sensuous eyes framed with long thick lashes. "For as long as you and your people have been trading with us I have wished for you to stay the night but you never did…until now." She placed both delicate hands on his chest. John walked backward trying to get away from her because he knew why she was there and, though he found her attractive, make that very attractive, he didn't want to jeopardize the relationship between Atlantis and her people for one night of…

She gave him a hard shove and he landed on the bed. That's when he noticed that she was wearing a robe. Her hands went to the tie at her waist, parted the fabric and let it slide to the floor. Under it she was wearing a lace gown the color of bronze. It had thin straps and reached only as far as mid-thigh. She climbed up onto the bed, her knees on either side of his hips and her hands on his chest.

"I have wanted to be with you like this since the first time you and your people made contact with us through the Ring of the Ancestors." She leaned down and kissed each cheek, his jaw, his neck. Instinctively his hands went to her waist. Oh, she feels good!

"Flora, we shouldn't be doing this."

She looked into his eyes. "You do not find me attractive? Perhaps it was Mardola that struck your fancy more than I." Her bare backside came to rest on the tops of his thighs. Oh, man! That is not helping me make the right choice here!

"No, i-it's not that. I find you very attractive. It's just that…"

"You do not wish to cause a rift between my people and yours should our assignation become known to the queen and she disapproves."

"Yeah, something like that."

Her smile lit up the room. "That is, as you say, no problem. I will stay here with you tonight then return to my own chambers before the morning and no one will know." She punctuated the last few words with kisses to each corner of his mouth, the last one on his lips.

"Mmm. In that case, come here!" His arms went around her and pulled her down on top of him so they were touching shoulder to knee then rolled so she was now looking up at him with a bemused expression. He leaned down to kiss her as her arms went around his neck. One hand reached down and lightly stroked up the outside of her thigh taking the gown with it.

"Oh, John!"

* * * * *

Rodney rolled out of bed, went into the bathroom then across the hall to knock on John's door. It took him a long time to answer and when he did, he only opened it a crack. "What's up?"

"You should be by now. Aren't you the one who is usually up at the crack of dawn running with Conan?"

"Yeah, but these aren't exactly normal circumstances."

"True. Well, once you're up and they've brought breakfast, I thought we could eat together, if you want."

John nodded. "Sure. I'll be there in a bit." He slammed the door in Rodney's face.

Thirty minutes later John knocked on Rodney's door then entered without waiting for him to respond. The physicist was just pouring himself a cup of what looked like coffee but had a slightly different scent. He poured a cup for John then lifted the cover from his plate and began to eat.

The two men talked of nothing much while they ate then finally Rodney could stand it no longer. "John, would you please go take a shower or a bath or…something. Maybe splash on some of that Aqua-Velva crap you're so fond of."

"Why?"

"Well, you smell like, let's see, how can I put this delicately so as not to offend your sensibilities?" Rodney tapped his chin thoughtfully. "Ah! You smell like you just had a long night of hot, sweaty, down-n-dirty, mind-blowing, wall-banging, sheet-grabbing, scream-at-the-top-of-your-lungs, give-it-to-me-one-more-time-love-monkey sex."

John sniffed himself. "Really?"

"Really. I'm surprised that dogs, cats, wolves, hamsters and just about any other living creatures aren't howling at the moon all over town." Rodney poured another cup of coffee then waved dismissively at his friend. "Just go wash the…Flora off of you before Harmony finds out."

* * * * *

The men from Atlantis were dressed as they had been on the day of Carson's service, Sheppard in his dress uniform and McKay in his dark blue suit. His tie was the same color of blue as his eyes, a gift from Madison for Christmas. They stood somberly beside Harmony and Flora at the gravesite service then sat as directed while the officiator droned on and on. More than once Rodney hid a yawn behind his hand. He'd had to poke Sheppard in the ribs a couple of times when it appeared that he'd fallen asleep behind his sunglasses.

Finally, the service was over and it was time for the two hours of quiet contemplation. For John and Rodney "quiet contemplation" equaled "nap." Both men awoke refreshed, changed into their black uniforms and made their way to the dining hall they'd been in the night before. Harmony and Flora joined them shortly thereafter. The seating arrangements were as they had been, Harmony in the place of honor at the end of the table, Rodney to her immediate right with Flora and John to her left.

During the first course Flora gave John's thigh a light caress. He gently and firmly removed her hand though he kept a hold of it where it lay in her lap until the entrée was served.

The men were puzzled by the fact that neither Mardola nor the service was mentioned at all during the meal but did not bring it up for fear of making a major cultural faux pas. Instead, they allowed the women to direct the conversation. Eventually, the last course was consumed and the dishes removed.

Harmony nodded and all the attendants quietly disappeared leaving them alone in the great hall. She clasped her hands together in front of her and seemed to be gathering her resolve which was most unlike her. John and Rodney exchanged nervous glances across the table.

She shifted nervously. "Now we must talk of more important matters. My 16th birthday is at the end of the next lunar cycle. On that day I must introduce to my people the man who will eventually become my king and my…mate. A betrothal ceremony will be performed on that day though the actual marriage will not take place until my 21st birthday."

"Five years is a long engagement." Rodney remarked. He had a feeling he knew what was coming next and a smirk crossed his features. John and Harmony sittin' in a tree…K-I-S-S…

"That's great news, Harmony." John said with a big smile. "Will we get to meet your intended before we return to Atlantis?"

Harmony, a shy smile playing on her lips, blushed for the first time ever. "You have already met him, John." She reached out and took Rodney by the hand, entwining her fingers with his. "I have chosen Dr. Rodney McKay to be my consort and to one day rule beside me as king!" Rodney had just taken a drink of his wine and choked on it to the point that he almost missed her next pronouncement.

"And John, I would like for you to become the head of my army. Though we have not gone to war with the settlements on the neighboring continents or other planets in recorded history, it is possible that we may one day need to do so. None who are now in my service have seen combat and we would need someone skilled in the art of war to lead us into battle. This position would naturally come with knighthood and" she paused for dramatic effect, "the hand of my sister, Flora, in marriage."

She smiled taking their lack of response as acceptance. "It is appropriate that you take some time to meditate upon this new direction that your lives will be taking. I look forward to hearing your answers by the beginning of the next lunar cycle."

TBC