"So this guy we're after was an actual proper Nazi?"
"Yes, he was an actual proper Nazi, as you so eloquently put it."
Valkyrie Cain and Skulduggery Pleasant strode briskly down the dark alleyway, feet splashing against the rain-drenched floor. Ever since the Sanctuary had been destroyed the duo followed whatever leads they could find on Davina Marr but, after hitting several dead ends, a little break seemed necessary. This break took on the form of a brand new case, one that involved hunting down a wanted war-criminal.
"You said he was a war-criminal of some kind, right?" Valkyrie asked as she struggled to keep up with the skeleton detective.
"Yes, but funnily enough he has never actually been involved in any of our wars."
Valkyrie cursed and tried to walk a little faster."So what did he do?"
"Human and animal experimentation mainly. He taught some small circles of Nazis how to combine magic and science, which almost resulted in their victory of World War II."
She whistled. "Wow, that's pretty bad."
"Indeed."
They rounded a corner and were all of a sudden met by the glaring headlights of a truck. "Well," Skulduggery huffed. "That's just cheating." He grabbed Valkyrie by the arm and pulled her out of the way as the truck skidded past them, crashing straight into the wall behind the spot they had been standing in only moments ago.
"Could this guy get any more conspicuous?" Valkyrie grumbled, one eyebrow arched as she righted herself.
"If he tried, I'm sure he could."
"What the hell is this guy's name, anyway - something German? Baron Von Likes-to-drive-lorries-into-walls?"
"Your powers of deduction never cease to amaze me, Valkyrie. But you did, however, get the first part right; it's Baron-"
"Baron Stattlich, at your service." A smooth voice echoed around the alley, completing Skulduggery's sentence. A man hopped down from the truck and, standing several metres away from the duo, swept his arm aside and gave a bow. Even though the front of the truck was completely crushed and mangled, there didn't appear to be a scratch on him.
"Great. Another Baron." Valkyrie groaned.
"Pardon me for zat little show just now." He purred in a thick German accent, looking up at Valkyrie and Skulduggery. "But I never could resist a theatrical entrance."
"I'd noticed." Skulduggery commented mildly, curling the fingers on his left hand, just in case a quickly conjured fireball was needed.
Valkyrie could only describe the way Baron Stattlich looked as very much like a retired Nazi. He wore the typical black militaristic uniform of an SS officer, complete with sword and red armband, minus the hat. Instead of the Swastika that one would associate with the authoritarians, there was instead a strange symbol Valkyrie didn't recognize; an elaborately twisting snake that appeared to be devouring its own tail. In addition to the uniform, he wore a long black trench coat that reached his ankles and there was some kind of gas-mask covering the lower half of his face. His skin was pale and his hair short and dark, but the strangest aspect of his appearance were the eyes. They were startling silver, with a pearlescence that matched the moon overhead.
"Have you come to arrest me, detective?" Stattlich asked, a smile in his eyes as he straightened up from the bow.
"Only if you don't resist." Skulduggery replied.
"Oh? And what happens if I resist?"
"We beat you up and then arrest you."
Stattlich laughed. "Yes, yes, of course! You and your little sidekick here are certainly famous for zat."
Valkyrie took a few strides towards him, a flame sparking in her curled fist."I am not a sidekick."
"Ah, my apologies." Stattlich purred mockingly, lifting both hands up in a kind of surrender. "Partner of course."
"Can I punch him now?" Valkyrie asked, barely sparing Skulduggery a glance.
"Yes, I don't think one little punch will hurt. Well-" A considering bob of the head. "-it won't hurt us." He hummed cheerfully.
As Valkyrie let the flame in her fist die out, and as she pulled that fist back to strike Stattlich, the Baron only smiled behind his mask. He shifted one of his hovering hands so both Valkyrie and Skulduggery could see the small remote nestled in his fingers.
"Did you really think zat I was alone?" He asked, pressing two buttons in quick succession.
"I try to remain optimistic." Skulduggery answered, pulling his revolver from its holster.
Another laugh from Stattlich. "Indeed. But you would have to be insane to remain so optimistic after meeting my little friend." He pushed one last button and an electrical crackling sound could be heard coming from within the truck behind him. There was an ear splitting yelp, and then an enraged howling that sounded as if it belonged to something rather large. ""Little", of course, being the operative word."
"Well, that doesn't seem too good." Skulduggery muttered, his grip on the gun handle tightening slightly.
"Right you are, detective." Stattlich agreed, and before Skulduggery could do so much as move a pinky finger the Baron burst into a cloud of black smoke and then dissipated.
"That guy is a jerk." Valkyrie grumbled, turning her attention from the spot where Stattlich had just been standing to the truck, which was now rocking on its axles as the rather large something tried to get out.
""Jerk" is rather mild compared to what I was thinking, but yes. Yes he is." Skulduggery circled around to the rear of the truck. Valkyrie followed close behind him, wondering which weapon in her magical arsenal would be most effective against whatever was inside. The Necromancer ring felt particularly icy on her finger as she came to a halt next to Skulduggery, as if death were close by.
"Do you have any idea what could be in there?" She whispered, getting herself into a battle-ready stance as the truck rocked more violently.
"Not a clue. Perhaps it's just a crate full of particularly hyperactive kittens or something."
"You know, I think Stattlich was right about one thing."
"Oh?"
"You're crazy for being so optimistic."
"Why thank you. I try."
The side of the truck burst outwards and the biggest wolf Valkyrie had ever seen went stumbling into the alley. But it wasn't just a wolf. There was something wrong with it. Its ears were long like a rabbit, but pointed and veined like a Doberman. Its teeth were jagged and overlapping, a violently blue tongue lolling out of a toxic green mouth. Eyes red as blood glowed maliciously in their sockets, and a mass of black fur rippled with every movement of its over-large body. Some sort of device flashed silently from around its neck, much like a giant shock-collar, and Valkyrie guessed it to be the reason behind its pained yelping."What," she started, sparking a flame instinctively and letting it grow in her palm. "The hell is that?"
"Ah. Well. That is what I believe to be called a Demon-Hound." Skulduggery answered, backing up. "And I've never actually seen one before, but from what I've heard they aren't exactly good news. Really, really bad breath, too."
Valkyrie looked at Skulduggery and noticed that the speed with which he backed up was slowly increasing."I can see why people would think that." She said quietly, her voice a little shaky. "Run?"
"Run."
And they started running, Skulduggery firing shots off at the colossal beast once Valkyrie was beside him, Valkyrie hurling fireballs in its general direction as best she could. One or two bullets hit home and a fireball collided with it head-on, but this only seemed to further enrage the Demon-Hound. It bounded clumsily after them, heavy paws making the ground shake slightly with each ginormous step that it took. This creature was unlike any other magical creature Valkyrie had ever faced. She had only glanced at its eyes briefly before, but that one little glance had filled her with sheer terror. In the split second that her had eyes met its own, she knew she was going to die. But then the eye contact had been broken and the feeling of complete and utter hopelessness faded from her mind. It was a clever way of immobilizing prey, Valkyrie had to admit, but she would think on it further once they were a safe distance away from those jagged teeth.
Valkyrie and Skulduggery ran flat out for what seemed like miles, zigzagging through dozens of deserted streets and alleyways, the Demon-Hound close behind every step of the way. Just when Valkyrie thought her legs would turn to jelly and the Hound would get her, there was a complete and sudden silence. Skulduggery had already stopped and turned to look, and a couple of seconds later she did the same. The beast was gone. Simply vanished. "Well." Skulduggery hummed, putting his revolver away. "That went better than expected."