I Drive Myself Crazy
Disclaimer: "I Drive Myself Crazy" and related lyrics and logos belong to *N SYNC. Animorphs belongs to KAA and/or Scholastic. Any other disclaimer needed to be said, consider it said.
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Made a mistake when I let you go, baby,
I drive myself crazy,
Wanting you the way that I do…
Drifts of the old *N Sync song drifted through Rachel's head at night as she thought of Tobias. Weeping, as she thought of how she'd let him go on the suicide mission alone. I couldn't've done anything, she argued with herself. Ax and Jake said as much. But I SHOULD HAVE been there!…
I've only got, myself to blame
I lie awake,
I drive myself, crazy, CRAZY!
She thought of the lone hawk, coming down, screaming on top of Visser Three. It would be a fatal distraction for the Visser. Fatal for the boy she loved as well.
Made a mistake, when I let you go baby,
Tears poured down her eyes as she remembered how the Visser's stalk eyes had pivoted towards the threat, how his tailblade had come up, up…She remembered other things, as well. How the grizzly bear, her, ahd struggled to run while the Visser was occupied. How she had swung her grizzly paws with all her might, decapitating the Visser, but not in time…
Suddenly, for no reason, she thought of the Sarah McLachlan song: I Will Remember You. Rachel smiled bitterly, in the darkness.
Why him? He was kind, loving, gentle, my friend…more than my friend.
Suddenly, determined, she strode into her bathroom. She picked up a razor, stared at it for a while.
Then put it down. She knew.
Knew that Tobias would be angry at her, for throwing her life away. For throwing away what he had never had the chance to enjoy.
She ran back into bed, and cried herself to sleep.
I drive myself crazy,
Wanting you the way that I do…