Thanks to Product Of A Sick Society for Beta-ing.
Enjoy.

A Romance

"What do you mean, 'there's no hope'?" asked the elf as she stepped over one of the unconscious goblins. She frowned at the recently sealed doors, lifted her gun and aimed. "Couldn't we just blast through them with the Neutrino?"

"It won't work; there's nothing we can do anymore," came the soft voice from behind her. "The air in this chamber has already started to react with the flowers' pollen. Soon, there won't be enough oxygen for us. All we can do now is enjoy the last few moments of our lives Ho-"

"You're supposed to be a genius, mud boy!" The elf stared at him in disbelief. "Can't you prove it this once and get us out of our mess?"

"I am a genius. And I think I've proven it quite a few times." He sighed. "Even so… You came here to assist me and all I've caused is trouble. I'm sorry." Tenderness appeared in his mismatched eyes.

"There must be some way Art-" She stopped talking.

The scene was oddly familiar to Foaly. How many times had he seen Artemis and Holly bicker? Even so, the conversation seemed oddly forced.

He had pulled her into a kiss.

Artemis Fowl never ceased to surprise him. Foaly, despite everything, chuckled at the turn of events. There were clues of course, foreshadowing, but this soon? He supposed there would be some kind of explanation to it, but really, psychology wasn't his thing. Artemis knew the reason, why it would be appropriate and that was what was important.

"I love you," he whispered.

"Stop it," she said, but she didn't push him away. The human youth put a clumsy finger to her lips and stared into her eyes. He was taller than she was now. So many things had changed since they first met.

Foaly took a sip of carrot juice, anticipating some good drama. This is the life, he thought. At home, with all my beloved electronics, a nice mug of carrot juice, watching a romance unravel…

"I love you," he said. "I know you don't return my feelings but I want you to know this anyway: Honey, you are the first being I have ever respected. The first I have ever loved – human or fairy... You've changed me." He reverted to his usual self, evidently embarrassed by this sudden declaration. He turned away from the elf, afraid to look at her, but her response was far from what he had anticipated.

"I know."

Bizz

Great, thought Foaly, a visitor. He couldn't imagine who it could be – Day and Diggums rarely bothered him, Caballine always called before dropping by, and Holly definitely wouldn't be visiting him now. Still, he hid the file, slightly embarrassed by its content, although he knew the fairy at the door wouldn't be able to see it unless he came in.

Foaly turned his attention to the surveillance cameras. To his surprise, it was Holly. After a few scans verifying her identity, he let the elf in.

"Hey Holly. I thought you were visiting your Great-Aunt Daisy in Atlantis! What brings –"

"What is this?" said Holly. Her voice was light, cheerful even, but the fury in her eyes told another story. She tossed a thick paperback book onto his desk.

"I believe it's a book…" Now that Foaly understood the reason for her arrival, his genuine grin was immediately replaced by a nervous smile.

"Art & Honey by Violet Tsirblou! How clever the author must be to write such a compelling romance! Art: the cool, collected human genius, the mastermind, the Byronic hero. Remind you of anyone? And Honey! Who do we think she is based on?" said Holly, her voice rising dangerously.

"Well, it can't be that bad... After all, it's not as if anyone knows about our connection with Artemis." Foaly tried, and failed to calm her down. Thank goodness she didn't see me reading it… he thought.

"You won't imagine what kinds of things people are saying. 'I wish I had an Art in my life,' or 'Art is so hot.' And what about the ending? Him- me? Together! I'm going to kill that Mud Boy!"

Above ground, Artemis had just finished writing the sequel to his first romance novel. He glanced at the clock. Ten minutes of his time and millions made. He smiled. Nothing sells better than a horrible romance.

Yup, It's another money making scheme of Artemis, which (as my Beta put it,) has a side bonus of screwing with Holly's head. =]
By the way, I've changed the Artemis' "pen name" to Violet Tsirblou which is what he usually uses for romances apparently. It's clever, no?
Thanks for reading.