Disclaimer: Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon is property of Naoko Takeuchi
All I Want for Christmas is...
Makoto sat in desperation on her best friends couch. She had called a senshi meeting, which meant her dilemma was serious, at least to Makoto. When the final senshi took a seat, Usagi cleared her throat. "Okay," she smiled at her brunette haired friend, "what's up?"
"I need help!" She cried out to her friends, "Christmas is practically two weeks away and I still haven't found anything to get for Nephrite."
All seven women stared blankly towards the young brunette. Usagi watched as Rei's top lip slightly twitched. "Uh," Usagi wasn't quite sure what to think nor what to say to her dear friend. She had called a senshi meeting, which was only to be called when a major dilemma came up. She wasn't quite sure if a boyfriend issue was a major dilemma, which was saying a lot coming from Usagi.
"That's why you called us here?" Ami tried to ask nicely, not wanting to hurt her friend's feelings. It was clear that Makoto was serious and clearly upset about this issue. It was painted across her face.
Makoto nodded her head. She was dead serious. Only two weeks before Christmas and she had no idea what to get her boyfriend. Considering this was going to be their first Christmas together, she wanted to make it memorable.
"Well," Michiru placed her finger to her lips, trying to think. "What kind of gifts were you thinking of getting him?"
"I was originally debating on making him 500 pounds of my caramel popcorn."
Usagi's eyes widened in shock as the other six girls gasped. "Five hundred pounds?" Michiru asked, feeling both dumbfounded and rather speechless at the same time, which was pretty difficult to do to someone like Michiru.
Makoto nodded her head.
"May I ask what changed your mind?" Michiru asked, still picturing poor Nephrite swimming through his studio in over two hundred pounds of caramel popcorn.
"There's nothing special about it," Makoto frowned, "he can get caramel popcorn anytime of the year, I sell it all year long, so it's not a great gift."
"Five hundred pounds sounds pretty great to me!" Michiru exclaimed, "Unpractical, but great."
"Don't encourage her!" Haruka scolded her girlfriend, "she might actually do it." Truthfully, Makoto knew it wasn't a great idea either, but at this point she was desperate. If she wanted to get her boyfriend something great, it would take time, and it seemed she was running out of it.
"I don't know what to do," Makoto buried her face into her palms.
All seven women frowned at the mere sight of their 'tough as nails' friend wallowing over not being able to come up with a decent gift for her new beau.
"Why don't you get him a sweater?" Usagi asked enthusiastically.
"He has a lot of clothes already," Makoto glowered, "plus, that's not personal enough." Minako suggested that Makoto bake him something. "Like what?" She asked.
"What does he like?" Ami asked.
"He really likes my famous Strawberry Shortcake," Makoto smiled, but it quickly turned to a frown, "but he already got that for his birthday."
"What are his favorite things?" Setsuna asked.
"Um, he likes caramel popcorn, strawberry shortcake…"
"Okay," Setsuna smiled, "taking food out of the equation, what are his favorite things?"
"He likes animals," Makoto thought back to when they were walking through the park and Nephrite had spotted a baby corgi running through the grass. He almost melted when the tiny dog approached them. "He also likes children, which you can all clearly see whenever Mamoru brings Chibiusa over."
"Maybe you can give him a child," Rei teased.
Makoto's face turned bright red at the thought of having one of Nephrite's children. Obviously she wanted a family, and if it was with Nephrite, she would be very happy, but she wasn't quite ready for kids.
"How about something more Christmas-y, what does Nephrite like about Christmas?" Setsuna asked.
"He loves volunteering at foodbanks and feeding the many families that show up," Makoto smiled, "but he does that on his own every year."
"Okay…" All seven women sighed. They were beginning to see why Makoto was having such a difficult time.
"He loves blasting Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You," but don't tell him I told you that," Makoto blushed, "he doesn't want anyone to know."
All seven women laughed at the thought of Nephrite, who came off so blasé, singing along to such a cheerful, sappy Christmas song. "Why don't you write him a song?" Ami suggested.
"No way!" Makoto became flustered, "you know what I sound like when I sing. I sound better drunk than sober." Makoto shot down the idea pessimistically.
"Buy him a CD with his favorite Christmas carol," Minako suggested, "I remember hearing him and Kunzite practically screaming out the lyrics to 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' a few weeks back during our karaoke date."
"A CD?" Makoto frowned at the suggestion. "That doesn't seem personal enough." With only two weeks before Christmas, it was possible that Makoto was going to have to go with her first idea and make Nephrite five hundred pounds of caramel popcorn. Feeling defeated, she sighed heavily. Just then, her eyes widened. "That's it!" She jumped up from the couch, "I know what I'm going to get him!" She broke into a wide grin and embraced each of her friends. "Thank you for your help, guys! I'll see you later!"
Dashing out of Usagi's apartment, the seven women watched as their friend leaped into her car, screeching out of the parking lot.
"Happy…to help…"
On the first day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
"A pale ale AND a tree?" Nephrite stared at his odd gift. Feeling perplexed he asked, "is this some kind of 'baker' joke and I'm completely missing the punchline or…?"
Makoto sighed and tried her best to explain.
"You don't have a partridge?" Makoto asked, the feeling of defeat creeping up on her.
"I'm sorry," Unazuki shook her head sadly, "we sold out two weeks ago."
"Well…what else do you have?"
"It depends on what you're looking for, anything in particular…that isn't a partridge?"
"I suppose it should start with a P, right?" Makoto thought out loud.
"We have parakeet," Unazuki gave a weary smile, "but if my memories correct, the last time Nephrite came by, he was completely freaked out by them."
Makoto frowned, "yeah…"
A similar situation occurred at Solar Nursery, except the sales lady wasn't as kind as Unazuki. The older woman scolded Makoto, practically offended that the younger woman would dare ask for a pear tree in the dead of winter.
"So I ended up with a pale ale and a tree?" Nephrite asked in confusion. He knew she meant well, but he wasn't exactly sure how they correlated.
"Well, you like pale ale, and," she continued, "it's not a tree, it's a shrub."
"Shrub?" He raised a brow.
"It's like a tree, but shorter."
"So…you got me a bush?"
"I guess." Makoto frowned. He was clearly unimpressed with her gift. Good thing she had eleven more days to wow him.
On the Second day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
"Two turtles?" Nephrite stared blankly at the fish tank sitting on his kitchen counter.
"Red-ear slider turtles to be exact," Makoto said smugly.
"Let me guess, they were out of doves?" He teased.
"They were out of every bird possible," Makoto's shoulders dropped, "so I opted for turtles." She smiled wearily. "Turtledoves, turtles…they kind of correlate, right?"
"Sure," he turned back to his counter and frowned. Now where was he going to eat? Glancing towards his coffee table, he sighed.
On the Third day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
"Three French bulldogs?" As concerned as he was with the fact that he was now the proud owner of two turtles and three bulldogs in a matter of two days, he couldn't help but kneel down and play with the three puppies.
"Remember," she told him, "the pet store was completely out of birds."
"Do hens count as birds?" Nephrite picked up one puppy and began to scratch the back of its ear.
"Well," Makoto shrugged, "they didn't have any, so I guess." Releasing the puppy, Nephrite watched as the three dogs ran around the room. Looking towards his counter, he sighed. His already tiny studio was beginning to seem even tinier.
On the Fourth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
"Four Quartz of Jack…"
"Since they were out of birds, and I noticed yesterday that your pale ale was gone, I thought you might like some Jack." Makoto stared at him, hoping he would appreciate her gesture.
"To be fair," Nephrite confessed, "the pale ale was on the coffee table, next to the bush. One of the dogs tried to eat the bush and before I could stop them, they had knocked over the pale ale."
"Oh…"
Nephrite ran his hands over his face, as if to wipe away the slight fatigue creeping up on him. "Thank anyways," he smiled tiredly, "god knows I need this."
Opening the bottle, he took a long swig. "How many days are left?" He asked.
"Eight."
"Great," he said sarcastically. Lifting the bottle to his mouth, he took another swig. Makoto was beginning to think she might need a few bottles herself.
On the Fifth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
"Five silver stud earrings?" His eyes shifted from the small white box up to Makoto. "Silver?"
"They were out of gold," Makoto frowned, "the last lady bought all of them."
"Wow…" Nephrite looked back into the small white box. "Why five?"
"It's the fifth day of Christmas," Makoto placed her hands at her hips, "I know you know this song."
"I do," he stared at his gift in puzzlement, "but I wear one earring on each ear. Five is an odd number…what am I supposed to do with the fifth earring?"
"Keep it in case you lose one of the four," she suggested.
"Yeah," he shrugged his shoulders, "I could do that."
On the Sixth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
"An amazon box?" Now he was really confused. "I know they were out of birds, but I'm pretty sure a box has nothing to do with birds."
"The box isn't the gift!" She snatched it from him, "the gift is inside the box." Tearing it open, she smiled and handed the brown box back to him.
"Six…pairs of spandex pants?" He looked up at her in absolute bewilderment. "Spandex…geese?"
"Look, the girls suggested I buy you clothes."
Feeling slighted, he asked, "and they suggested spandex?"
"No," she locked her fingers together and began to twiddle her thumbs. "I just thought you might like pants…"
"Thanks…" He looked back into the box, "I think."
On the Seventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
Nephrite sighed at the sight of another fish tank, this time it was set on his coffee table, sitting nicely next to his shrub. "I feel like I shouldn't be surprised anymore, yet I still am."
In the fish tank, there were seven fish…swimming.
"Seven Koi fish," she grinned, "I was going to put them in the same tank as your turtles, but Unazuki said the turtles might try and eat them."
"Okay…" Nephrite raked his fingers through his long brown hair and sighed. Looks like he would be eating all his meals on his bed from now on.
On the Eighth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
"Eight maids a…cleaning?"
"I know the dogs aren't quite potty trained yet, so I thought I'd have them come in and clean, plus they can take care of the fish tanks." Makoto explained.
"Don't you think eight is a little excessive?" Nephrite asked. He watched as all eight women tip toed around each other, trying to make their way around his tiny studio.
"It was either this or them milking cows, okay!" Makoto crossed her arms.
"Cows?" Nephrite's eyes widened, "you have cows?"
"No," Makoto whimpered, "Unazuki said cows didn't really count as 'pets' therefore she did not have any."
"Oh thank god!" Nephrite buried his face into his palms, almost ready to weep from happiness.
On the Ninth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
"Close your eye, Nephrite!" Makoto demanded.
"Fine." Doing as his girlfriend ordered, Nephrite shut his eyes. Feeling Makoto take his hand, she began to lead him out of his studio. "Where exactly are we going?"
"You'll see." When he felt her come to a halt, he stopped as well. "Okay," she said happily, "you can open your eyes."
"Do I have to?" He asked apprehensively.
"…do you want to?" Hearing the sad tone in her voice, Nephrite frowned. She was trying and that's all that mattered, right? Feeling uneasy, he opened one eye.
Both eyes shot open at the sight of nine lady belly dancers, well, dancing. "They couldn't fit in your studio, so I had them stay in your complexes pool house…"
"Um..."
"You don't have to say anything," Makoto frowned.
"Thank you…?"
On the Tenth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
"Ten Italian suits?" He peered into his already cramped closet.
"I know you've wanted a suit," she said excitedly.
"That's right," he nodded his head, "I wanted A suit." He glanced at the suits before looking back at his girlfriend. "What am I supposed to do with ten Italian suits?"
"I'm not quite sure," Makoto locked her fingers together, "maybe you can wear them to the food bank."
He looked at her and raised a brow. "Wear a suit…to a food bank?"
"I don't know!" Makoto's hands dropped to her side. "It was just a suggestion."
"Well…" he ran his hands over the soft material. "Thank you."
On the Eleventh day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
"Eleven cake decorators…decorating?" Nephrite watched as eleven of Makoto's baking staff cramped into his tiny studio kitchen and began to fill yellow sponge cakes with white whipping cream. Three poor workers trying to work around the large fish tank containing Nephrite's two turtles.
"No," Makoto shook her head, "Eleven cake pipers piping."
Nephrite gave her a knowing look and smiled. "You and I know very well they are not piping."
"They're making strawberry shortcake, alright." She growled at him, "I could have gone with regular cake, but I know you wouldn't eat all that."
"Eleven strawberry shortcakes…" Glancing towards the amazon box sitting at the edge of his bed, he grimaced. "Well, at least I finally have use for those six pairs of spandex pants."
On the Twelfth day of Christmas, my true love sent to me…
"Twelve…I don't even know what they are, but why are they in my apartment?" Nephrite grimaced at the sight of what looked to be impersonators, although he wasn't quite sure who they were impersonating.
"Twelve Mariah Carey impersonators impersonating," Makoto said gleefully. "They all know the song 'All I Want for Christmas Is You,'" she told him happily.
"Oh dear lord," he placed his hand to his forehead and began to rub his temples.
He watched as they each took turns singing different lines of his favorite Christmas song. By the fifth impersonator, he had to stop the madness. "Look you're all wonderful," he told them, "but you all need to go."
"Nephrite," Makoto frowned, "they're paid out for at least an hour."
"How much did they cost?"
"Fifty bucks each," Makoto mumbled.
"What?!" He eyed her. "That's it!" He began to shove them towards the front door, "Out! Get out of my apartment!"
Makoto watched in defeat. "You hate it? You hate all of it, don't you?"
Nephrite watched as tears began to well up in his girlfriend's eyes. Shutting the door, he crossed to her. Pulling her into a tight embrace, he kissed her forehead. "I don't hate it, Makoto." He tried his best to comfort her, "everything was just really…impractical."
"What do you mean?" Makoto and Nephrite watched as one of the French bulldogs tackled the other puppy. "You love animals."
"I do love animals," Nephrite smiled, "but my schedule is way too hectic for me to have a pet. Plus, I don't need ten suits, but now that I have eleven shortcakes, I do need the spandex pants."
"I just wanted to get you a great gift for our first Christmas together." Makoto buried her face into her palms.
"Come on, don't cry, Makoto." Sitting on his bed, he pulled her hands away from her face. "I really do appreciate the amount of thought you put into these gifts, and as bizarre as they were, you tried and that's all that matters."
Wiping away the last tear, she sniffled. "Well, it was either these gifts or five hundred pounds of caramel corn."
"Five hundred?" His eyes widened. "Uh…" It was bad enough that he now had no choice but to eat Strawberry shortcake for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, Nephrite had no idea how he would have managed five hundred pounds of popcorn.
Shaking the thought away, he hugged her tightly. "Thank you for everything. Now as for all of the gifts…"
"Yes?"
"I think you should return nine of the suits, all of the animals, three of the silver earrings, cancel the eight maids, tell those belly dancers to get out of the complex pool house, and tell those impersonators to please get lost."
"What about the shrub?"
Looking back at the tiny tree that was now fully decorated, and began to look like a mini Christmas tree, sat in the corner of his apartment, "I'll keep him."
"It's a him?" Makoto raised a brow before laughing. "You don't like my gifts?" She asked, faking a hurt expression.
"Of course I like them," he kissed her forehead, "but I already got what I wanted for Christmas."
"What was that?" Makoto asked surprised. She had worked really hard on these gifts only to find out he already got what he wanted? She was beginning to feel more upset than hurt.
"You," he poked her nose.
"Me?" Makoto looked at him in complete astonishment.
Clearly not believing him, Nephrite laughed. "Makoto, last year, I spent Christmas alone in my studio. This year, I'll be spending it with you, and that's the greatest gift you have given me."
Taken back by his words, he watched as tears began to well up in her eyes again. Before he could say anything, she tackled him. Crushing her lips against his, they both laughed. "Merry Christmas, Nephrite." She told him as she nuzzled him.
Kissing her softly, he said, "Merry Christmas, Makoto."
apigrabbit: I hope you enjoyed Makoto's take on 'The Twelve Days of Christmas' song :D Happy Holidays, everyone!