A Letter to Katniss
Dear Katniss,
What am I even supposed to say to you? I think it's stupid, but they think it will help if I get it all out on paper. They wonder why I've been so on edge lately. How am I supposed to be when the only thing I ever care about is taken away from me? After the Games, after you blew up the arena, everything went to Hell. I don't remember any of it. I blacked out. There was nothing I could do. I woke up with a mask around my nose and mouth and a bandage on my arm over the tracker that wasn't there anymore. When Haymitch told me what happened, I didn't talk to him for days. I only spoke to see if there was a way to find you and when there wasn't, I completely shut down. I didn't eat. I didn't sleep. I just sat next to the window in my compartment in Thirteen and looked out at the lush forest. It only reminded me of you. I couldn't take it. Everything just reminded me of you and what I couldn't do to save you. I feel so alone. I miss you so much. I miss the way you braid your hair everyday, even if now you do one instead of two. I miss the way I would catch you staring at me even when you didn't think I was looking. I miss the way your eyes light up every time you talk about something you're passionate about. I miss the way you curl up against me at night. I even miss your snarky come-backs to everything I have to say. I never told you this, but I met your family even before I ever knew you. Your dad used to come into the bakery to trade squirrels for bread. You remind me so much of him. The way you hit it right in the eye every time just like he does. He came in one day and was humming a tune I later learned to be the Hanging Tree. I don't know why I never told you. It just never came up. I don't really know why I'm telling this to you now. I don't know what to do. The fact that I can't do anything but wait until they locate you is killing me. I don't even know if you're alive. I will kill anyone who even lays a finger on you. When I find you I'm going to marry you because I cannot stand to be apart from you. I never want to be apart from you again. I want to marry you and have kids with you and grow old with you. I know I can't hold you to anything you said in the first Games, but even if it wasn't real to you, it was real to me. Come home. I'll be waiting. I'll wait forever.
I love you,
Peeta