Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz Comes Out As a BDSM Practitioner
As Bernadette stared at the bruises and scratches her husband had caused, she knew one thing above all.
"I have to come out to my friends."
The gang was all there as usual in Penny and Leonard's apartment, except Howard, who had agreed with Bernadette that this was better for her to handle alone. Everyone was dressed to suit the hot weather, except for Bernadette, who was in long sleeves and long pants. Though everyone was either too clueless (*cough Sheldon cough*) or too polite to mention it, she thought it was the best way to ease into the subject.
"Hey, so", said Bernadette, taking advantage of a lull in the conversation after Amy had finished explaining the latest developments in rat brain interfaces, "I wanted to say something about my clothes."
"Is it how your shirt and pants are slightly different shades of white?," asked Amy. "It's barely noticeable, really."
"No…" said Bernadette, and took a deep breath. "Look, the thing is, I've been wearing clothes to cover up because…Howard and I have gotten into BDSM."
"What?!" said Leonard. "So you're a dominatrix?!"
"No!" said Bernadette. "Howard hits me, because I literally ask for it, because I like it. And I just want you all to know that, in case you ever see Howard hit me or see me have bruises or something like that. And also so I don't have to wear these clothes in this weather."
"Wait, so Howard's the one in charge? But you're always the one in charge. Which is totally hot, don't get me wrong," said Raj.
"Putting that aside", said Bernadette, "I'm still in charge in that I can put a stop to it if I change my mind. He can too, of course, but it's more likely for me since I'm the one who's actually getting hit. Also, how I live outside the bedroom doesn't really define how I live inside it. I can still be a take-charge person in my regular life and be submissive in bed. For me, it's a nice break from my regular life, and I just think of it as a role, not me literally being under Howard's thumb. I mean, if somebody pretended to be a schoolgirl, that wouldn't mean they really were one and should be treated like one in real life."
"That's what I keep saying," said Amy, "but *some* people just want to assign math problems."
"You said you would do anything for a better grade," said Sheldon. "How was I to know that didn't include geometry?"
"Anyway", said Bernadette, "the point is, I hope you'll all accept this. You might say it's a little dangerous and self-destructive, but it's certainly no more so than, say, paintball. A person's got to live a little, haven't they?"
"Sure, it's fine," said Raj, and everybody else nodded. "Just promise me one thing, all right?"
"What's that?"
"Don't' keep wearing white after Labor Day."