This is a g!peen Santana story, with references to possible sexual assault, that being said this is also relatively smutty. If you're still with me enjoy.

I wanted to take it back. Every time I saw her there was a fleeting feeling of regret, I could see it in her eyes. I remembered how she looked that night. I had to erase it from my mind. I was wasted, I was high too, I didn't even remember what really happened, I just knew she hated my guts. I just knew that I hurt her somehow.

It wasn't fair, not really at least. Not to her and certainly not to me. How was I supposed to ask for forgiveness if I didn't know what I'd done? It happened over the summer, this was a new year, it was supposed to be a new start.

"Hey." I looked over my shoulder and saw Quinn approaching. I'd been waiting for her to get out of class, we were supposed to meet Brittany after school today before their cheer practice to figure out what we were going to do tonight.

This is the one Friday during the whole football season that there's not a game, which meant there would be parties everywhere. I didn't even have soccer practice, my coach knew we'd just be itching to get out of there anyway. "Hey so what'd you hear from Puck?" I asked Quinn as we headed for the cheerleader's locker room.

"Let's go to his place, that's where everyone's going anyway. Wanna meet us after practice?" Quinn asked.

"Yeah, I'll grab you guys something to eat and then come back up here." I told her. Quinn smiled and headed into the locker room. I turned around, just in time to see that she was still there. She'd been watching us, I knew it all along. "Hey, you got a problem?" I asked her from across the hall. She ignored me, and continued packing her backpack like I wasn't even there.

I walked over towards her and leaned against the locker beside her. "I asked you a question." She continued ignoring me. I got so fed up with her that I slammed her locker shut, and that's when she finally looked at me. "You got a hearing problem?"

"Santana, leave me alone." I was so done with this. She never told me what I did, she just ignored me, or glared at me. She never actually spoke to me.

"Why?" She looked away from me and pulled her backpack over her shoulders. "Look, I'm sorry for what I-."

"Don't finish that sentence. Sorry isn't enough, you don't even know what you did." Rachel snapped. "Either way, I guess it doesn't matter-."

"It does matter, because you're the only one who knows what happened, and you won't even tell me." I reached out, just to touch her arm just to show her that I did care, but she pulled away from me.

"What matters most is that I know what you are, I know you were drunk and high, but somewhere deep inside you liked that feeling. You're controlling, you crave power-."

"Fuck you Rachel." I said bluntly.

"Well that night you wanted to." She wanted to walk away, to just leave it at that, but that was not going to happen.

"You wanna go to a party tonight?" I asked her. She looked like she was going to punch me right then and there. "Come on Rachel." I grabbed her arm and held her there. "It'll be fun."

"In your dreams." Rachel yanked her arm away and left me standing there wondering what my true motives were. Wondering if I could ever do anything to change that night. Wondering if I cared to.

"Brittany!" Quinn yelled as she put on her makeup in my bathroom. I was sitting there on the ledge watching her, when Brittany came skipping in.

"Huh?" Brittany asked.

"Tell San, not to get drunk tonight." Quinn urged Brittany. Honestly, I couldn't tell who looked more beautiful tonight, Quinn or Brittany. Quinn was wearing a little black dress, with four inch heels to, as she put it, make her ass look fab. Brittany just wore a black vest with nothing but a bra under it, and short shorts, with high top shoes on. They were dressing to impress, I just wanted to hang out with some people and drink.

"Don't drink tonight." Brittany said with zero hint of seriousness. Quinn put on her lipstick while Brittany danced spontaneously in the corner. I kept my eyes on Quinn for a moment, if she was going for sexy then she hit the mark perfectly.

"Like what you see?" Quinn joked, I just nodded. "I can tell." Quinn's eyes went down to my crotch and I quickly slid off the counter and went into the other room, trying to cover myself. "San." Quinn said as she came into my bedroom. "Need help?" I shook my head no as I sat down on my bed. It would be fine, it would go away in a second.

"No, I'm alright, let's go." Brittany skipped out of the room and pulled me up to my feet. She and I walked hand and hand out of my house. Quinn, of course, took the front while Brittany got in the back. I didn't mind driving, even if it meant we'd probably have to stay the night at Puck's because I always drank too much anyway. "Britt, you've got so much energy." I told her as she sang to some Madonna song and continued to dance in the back.

"I just wanna dance." Brittany said with a grin. "Will you guys dance with me?"

"Course we will B." Quinn assured her as I pulled into Puck's driveway. Brittany got out of the car first, and she didn't even wait for Quinn and I to follow her, which as it turned out was a good thing. The place was packed, and I could hardly see much of anything, but Quinn held onto my hand until we reached the kitchen. "So many fucking people." Quinn grabbed two cups and began fixing us drinks.

"Let me make it." I said trying to take over, but Quinn pushed me away.

"No." Quinn said stubbornly. She handed me the cup when she was finished and smiled as I polished off the drink in a matter of seconds. "Show off." Brittany came running into the room a moment later, grabbing my hand and pulling me out onto the dance floor. I didn't even get a chance to toss my plastic cup somewhere, Brittany was already moving against my body relentlessly.

There were times when I wondered if Brittany knew how hot she was, right now, it was obvious Brittany knew what she was doing to my body. She bent over all the way to the ground, and moved her ass against my crotch, slowly making her way back up to a standing position. It's not until I felt someone's hand rubbing against my hard-on that I'm jolted into a state of awareness. I glanced over my shoulder, only to spot Quinn, who had a mischievous look on her face as she moved her body against me and continues to rub her hand against me.

Brittany's enjoying herself, but Quinn wants all my attention. She kept squeezing my cock until I turned around and even then I could tell she wanted more. "Quinn." I whispered in her ear.

"Yeah." She breathed out.

"Let's get out of here." Brittany wouldn't care, she was already dancing with other people. Quinn didn't even answer, we were heading back into the kitchen already, my hands were all over her body. My lips against her neck, her hand on my zipper.

"I want this inside me." Quinn said. She grabbed the front of my shirt and sucked on my bottom lip. "I don't fucking care how you want me, on my knees, on my back…on all fours." I was getting harder by the minute, I could feel my breathing quicken. "Tell me how you want me." Quinn said as she spun around and looked over her shoulder at me. I pressed against her backside, thinking about all the things I could do to her right now.

"Like that." I whispered in her ear. I heard someone clear there throat, and I turned away and spotted Rachel standing there, looking both nervous and disgusted. I turned back to Quinn. "Go upstairs, take off your dress, get on the bed and wait for me, okay?" Quinn nodded and left the room quickly, stumbling a little as she started for the step. "You showed."

"Not for you, Kurt wanted to go, so I said I'd accompany him." I rolled my eyes and grabbed the bottle of vodka, taking two big gulps before I set the bottle down. "Careful Santana, if you drink too much then you won't be able to get it up." I rushed over and smacked the cup out of Rachel's hand, covering her mouth before she could even protest.

"I told you to shut the fuck up about any of that." Rachel was one of three people at the school who knew about my secret. Quinn and Brittany were the only others. I couldn't believe that someone as low on the food chain as Berry knew about it, but there was nothing I could do to change that. "And for the record, I can get it up just fine."

"You're disgusting." I took a step away from Rachel and smirked.

"You were the one watching Quinn and I, maybe that turns you on. You can come upstairs with us, you wanna watch?" Rachel tried to smack me, but I caught her wrist before she could even try. "I like it rough sweetheart, but not that rough. How do you like it?"

"Consensual." Rachel said before brushing by me and going out the back screen door. I had no choice but to follow her. I chased her all the way out towards the street, she could hear me following her but she didn't stop.

"Rachel, what the hell?" I grabbed her hand to try and get her to slow down, but she pulled away, more forcibly this time.

"If you touch me one more time, I'm calling the police. I will press charges against you, I'll tell everyone what you did, and they'll know what a monster you really are." I was taken aback, sure we'd gotten into small arguments, but Rachel had never said something like that.

"Did I…" I looked around for a moment. "I didn't ra…you know what I'm trying to say."

"Say it Santana. Just say it."

"Did I rape you?" I asked her. She looked down at the ground and shook her head no. "What did I do?"

"Clearly you moved on, you've forgotten it, but I haven't…so it's nothing." I wasn't going to take that, we had to speak about it or it would never go away.

"Look I…I'm sorry for acting like a jerk around you. I thought that you were like just complaining or something I didn't realize that I…really hurt you." I sounded stupider than I've ever sounded in my entire life, but at least now, Rachel was listening to me. "I can take you home."

"Isn't Quinn waiting for you?" Rachel asked bluntly.

"She can wait, I just want to make sure you get back alright." She nodded and we kept walking. "Rachel." I asked after a long time.

"Hm?"

"Why haven't you told anyone?" I asked her.

"Because if my father's found out then they'd press charges-."

"No, not about that. About…my secret." I could feel Rachel's eyes on me so I looked away.

"Because I don't want you to feel the shame that I feel every day." Rachel said quietly.

"You should hold it over me, I would if I were in your shoes. You should hate me too, I'd feel the same way." Rachel didn't respond, so we just kept walking in silence. I guess we were so stuck in our own worlds that we didn't even realize that we'd made it back to her house. We stopped at the door, it felt odd to be here with her.

"Well this is sufficiently weird." I muttered.

"It's not exactly my ideal night." Rachel added.

"What would be your ideal night?" I asked curiously. Rachel didn't seem to want to answer at all. Her hand was on her door and she was about to just go in and leave me standing there. "Sorry…um, I guess I should…"

"Thank you." That made me stop in my tracks. "For walking me home."

"Yeah." She'd already closed the door. "Any time."

Tell me what you think. Should I continue.