Providence is a part of me. I am Providence.
H.P. Lovecraft
White Gold
I had never been afraid of the dark. To me it was something beautiful, something soft and velvety. And I could always conjure up some light anyway. As the Imperial Battlemage's personal assistant I ought to know something about conjuring up light. Not that I had much cause to actually do any magic in my job. Being Ocato's secretary was an awful job at the moment. Provinces asking for help with the Daedric invasion, dealing with a splintering Elder Council... But what to do? It paid, and mum and dad were always telling their friends how their little girl was working in the imperial palace. So embarrassing...and I didn't even have a colleague to talk to because I was his only assistant! Just paperwork and any book I could sneak a peek at in a free moment.
Ocato was a nice enough person, but I could tell he was badly strained by all this. Trying to hold an Emperor-less Empire in a time of existential threat was a terrible burden. I did admire him for that. From what I could see things weren't so bad. Besides Kvatch, obviously. No other city had really been threatened, and it was common knowledge in these circles that the Blades were being very active.
Ocato didn't like that they were being secretive, and he seemed a bit suspicious. Knowing he had a full plate, I didn't dare to bother him with anything as trivial as hearing voices from nowhere.
It started a week and a bit ago. When I was alone in his office, at the front desk as usual, going through letters and managing his timetable, someone whispered to me. It was a male voice, and very strange. It was speaking in a language I didn't understand. Only once that day. Then over time it whispered more often.
I was a little scared but I didn't have anyone I could tell. I didn't want to risk losing my job either, so I ignored it. I think it got impatient, because it started to speak more forcefully. It openly talked to me, but I didn't know what it was saying.
And yesterday, it actually moved something. That was the most frightening thing, because it meant it was real, and not something I was imagining. A quill I had on my desk fell onto the floor. It had been an inch from the edge though. I got off my chair to pick it up, but when I bent down it moved! It moved out of my reach and towards the door. It stopped after moving about two feet.
When I bent down it moved another two feet in the same direction. I was scared, but also curious. I followed it, and didn't bend down anymore to pick it up.
It led me out of the office, and onto the next floor. It went up the staircase of its own power. I was a little hesitant to actually go into the Emperor's bedroom floor, but I just followed it through to the next floor without actually entering the room.
When it stopped at the door at the end of the room, I stopped too. The door ahead was made of a different kind of wood, and had gold and silver decorations on it. These decorations were like curlicues, but in the Ayleid style.
Everyone in the palace knew this floor and any beyond it were forbidden. Come to think of it the floor i was currently on was forbidden to me as well. But I was a trained mage. Curiosity and instinct were valued traits in the Guild. I tried to open it, but it seemed locked.
Then the voice came again. It sounded instructive. I was too unnerved. I didn't understand what was going on, and I didn't want to risk getting caught. Who knew when a patrol or cleaning staff would arrive? I picked up the quill and returned to Ocato's office.
****
I had a couple days of peace. Surprisingly little paperwork. Instead I was in the Imperial library doing some research for Ocato. Information on Daedric Cults in Cyrodiil. I had quite a few Ancestor Moth priests helping me, and was in contact staff from the University Archives and Temple Libraries. I had a lot of books to read and had to write reports for the Elder Council. It was much harder than managing Ocato's timetable, but I enjoyed it a lot. This was the kind of work I lived to do.
I was scanning one of the shelves in the library when a book fell. It was lunch, and I was the only one there. I turned. The book had fallen from a shelf across the room. I walked over to pick it up and put it back. I realised it had fallen from the very top shelf. It was incredibly dusty.
I casually looked at the title, and was surprised to see that it didn't have one. Flipping through it I realised it was one of the Ayleid reference texts translators used. A terrible chill went through me. Was the strange presence responsible? Was it trying to communicate with me? It had to have been speaking in Ayleid...
****
I studied the book for the next day, claiming I was ill. My bedroom wasn't quite as nice as Ocato's or the Emperor's, but how many people can say they sleep in the Imperial Palace? I had the whole day to read it. Ayleid language was the precursor to modern Cyrodiilic, and there was overlap in some of the vocabulary, if not meaning. The grammar was slightly different, and there were technical words that had no equivalent in our language, representing the lost knowledge of the ancient Ayleids.
The next time it whispered to me, I caught the gist of what it was saying.
'Come through the door. Free me.'
I went through the motions: up the corridor to the staircase, entering the royal bedroom and stopping at the mysterious Ayleidesque door. The voice spoke again.
'Fire. Ice. Life. Death.'
I wasn't sure what to make of this at first, but I remembered one of the guild mages I happened to chat with recently. She told me about the pillar at Vahtacan, and how the mages there had to cast spells at it to unlock it. I was quite sure I would have to do the same here.
I cast a flare at the door. The spell didn't seem to react against the door's surface; the gold and silver seemed to absorb it. The fireball seemed to spread across and sink into the gold and silver patterns. The same thing happened to the frostbolt I cast at it next. After that I wondered if 'Life' and 'Death' might mean a healing and health-damaging spell. I took a few steps back. No telling what might happen if I was wrong. The door might have some kind of defence mechanism.
I cast a Convalescence spell at it. It was absorbed by the silver metal, which seemed to glow brighter. I took aim and cast an Entropic Bolt at the door. This time the gold absorbed it, and the metal started to glow red. Without warning, both metals seemed to react with each other. There was a a crackling sound, and magickal energy seemed to consume the whole thing. The gold and silver lock on the door shattered in a blast of blue light. I gave a surprised gasp.
Had anyone heard that? I cast Detect Life. The floor below was totally empty. That was usual, there were normally only me and Ocato on the floor of his office, and he was actually not present a lot of the time during work hours.
I pushed the door open. A feeling of joy seemed to suffuse me, and it disturbed me when I began to think that the emotion wasn't my own.
It was totally dark in the floor above. As I went up the staircase being careful to feel my way up, I conjured a small orb of white light. I brightened it when it failed to illuminate much more that my immediate area. I threw the orb up into the air, where it hovered, lighting up the whole floor. What I saw surprised me.
I was quite afraid I would see something awful. Instead it was an empty room. The whole floor was one room, and apart from the ten marble pedestals and bronze grating across the walls it was empty. At the opposite end of where I was standing was a door to another floor. I walked across.
It was very cold up here, I realised. I wrapped my arms around myself and made a little heat with my magicka. The door, when I reached it, seemed identical to the one before, but without a lock. It opened. I began to climb the staircase.
My light behind me went out, and I was plunged into darkness. I was about to conjure another light when I felt something touch me. Something brushed against my cheek. I wanted to scream but couldn't. I was so scared. I shouldn't have come here!
The darkness and cold reached my core. I was paralysed with fear. What a fool! Voices and secrets I was totally ignorant of! What had I gotten myself into? The voice spoke to gain, and my gods I listened like I had never listened to a voice before.
'I have waited so long. You will help me escape. Behold!'
I heard the door on the empty floor below swing shut. The lock had been broken. What was the chance I could make a dash for it? Could the entity stop me?
All that went through my head in a single second. Fires flared up around me, blue fires in bronze bowls. The bluish white light lit up everything.
Before me was a statue. At least that was what it looked like. A statue, eight feet high, and made out of solid gold. The voice spoke again. 'By the light of Meridia I have returned! Long have I slept in the Waters of Oblivion. Curse the Pelinal! I shall cast down your race and your gods, little one, and you shall help me do it!'
I was terrified. The voice sounded so bold now. I couldn't even reply. I had no idea what it was talking about, and my mind was numb. I had only a vague awareness of myself and my situation, and felt the calmness of hazy understanding.
'Bring me a man. He shall be my vessel. I require a shell for my Animus!'
'Who are you?' I blurted out. If I was about to die I would like to know who my killer was. And I was curious.
'Umaril, of Meridian light and Ayleid essence!'
'Go now.' I felt compelled to turn and walk out. I offered no resistance, and walked out by myself after the first few forced steps.
****
I told nobody. I didn't want to get into trouble. Mara knows what Ocato might do to me. Now I lived in fear some cleaning maid or someone would notice the missing lock. I had picked up the pieces and hid them in a locked drawer in my desk, and had covered them with some parchment too.
The quill I left in the same place on my desk. I was actually a little reluctant to touch it anymore.
It was the day after the incident. I waited for the Moth priests and Guild and Temple academics to go out for lunch. The two remaining Moth guards let me in and allowed me to do as I pleased because of my rank. Lucky they were blind. I didn't want anyone to see what books i was looking through, just in case. It was unlikely anyone would make such a leap of imagination, but still...Anyway, best if nobody asked any questions. I could conceal the truth but I probably couldn't lie.
It was quite easy to find the books I needed. The library was full of Ayleid texts and books written about them. The historical ones about the Alessian revolt were useful, but the Song of Pelinal turned out to be what I needed. Just flipping through made me realised it contained vital information about this Umaril. I pretended to put the books back in place, doing so a little loudly for the benefit of the blind Moth guards. I silently picked them back off the shelf and clutched them close to me.
To be safe I passed an Invisibility spell over them as well, so I looked like I was just walking around with my arms across my chest. I hoped I didn't cross paths with anyone. I doubted my clever little attempt at disguising my books would fool anyone who looked a bit closely, and for anyone to realise I was trying to sneak books out of the library would be a disaster. I shivered a little at the thought.
****
It was only in the evening that I could read them. I had locked the books up in my desk for the remaining half of the day. I tell you; never did time pass so slowly. I would look at the clock, fiddle around with my work (still Daedra and politics I'm afraid) and look up again to find about a minute had passed. It was so surreal. My eyes would slip over the quill, or else my hands would brush the part of the desk just over the drawer with the books in it, or else I would be looking out the door and hoping nobody would pass the office, because it meant they were going to the floor above.
After an eternity evening did come of course. Six o'clock and time for a break before dinner. I walked swiftly out the office and tried to get to my chambers as quickly as I could. I did the same thing with the couple of books I had taken; clutched to my chest and shielded from view with magic.
I hardly believed my luck. No one had asked me anything; so far no one had been to the dark floors above...
The universe was cruel therefore to send, at that moment of all moments, one well dressed Altmer Chancellor my way.
We passed two floors down. He was going up and I was going down. We met halfway in the corridor. He smiled broadly and called my name. My own smile felt like stone on my face. 'Evangeline, glad I caught up with you. I just wanted to thank you in person for all your work. The Moth priests said you were in the library a lot of the time during your lunch hours, and that you were in such a hurry to get your job done you took out some books without signing them out!'
Mother Mara my stomach turned to ice and fell a few inches in my body.
Ocato continued without even registering my shock. 'I just want to say how grateful I am to have such a hard worker especially in these troubled times. Keep it up my dear, and I see a promotion coming up!' he winked at me and went on his way.
I stood there for a few seconds. So those priests had heard me. I would have to be careful. They might realise the books I took out had nothing to do with my assignment. They would tell Ocato and-
A terrible rage took hold of me. I wouldn't let them stop me! I entertained thoughts of killing them. I could get them in their sleep perhaps, or poison their food when no one was around. Being a trained mage a thousand opportunities were open to me.
I calmed down quickly though, and wondered what had gotten hold of me. That was quite an unusal reaction. Waving it aside, I continued to my quarters
****
The absurdity of my situation hit me while I was reading. Here I was clandestinely serving the ghost of an ancient tyrant, the evil Sorcerer-King of the Ayleids. I should tell Ocato and have that statue pulled to the ground, that spirit purged from these walls. And yet...
I was proud. Proud to have such a valuable and powerful secret. The more I read of him the more in awe of Umaril I became. Such a powerful being! My fear vanished. I knew that I had found my calling. I had found a far more deserving master to serve.
I read more and more, and felt like I knew Umaril personally. The knowledge I gained from them was so satisfying.
****
That night at dinner, I didn't bother with my usual attempts to make small talk with whichever inane soldier who happened to be sitting next to me. I dived into the venison and cheery sauce, the glasses of Tamika's West Weald Wine and the goat's milk yoghurt with zeal. It was like I was alive for the first time in months. I had a purpose! I had zest!
I took pleasure in my hiding of my books. I had kept them in my quarters, in my locked cabinet. I had the only key. It was better to keep them here than in my desk anyway, so close to Ocato. Who knew if he used magic to open my desk and check up on me from time to time?
****
That night, He came to me in my dreams. At first I was in silent, empty darkness. I was without fear, because I knew this was where I was supposed to be. Then He appeared to me. A wonder of golden light, like a sparkling mist of gold specks, full of an effusive light that was reflected and refracted within itself.
'You have been busy.' He said. 'I am pleased with your response. I knew that you would come to love being a part of my plan.'
'Why me?' I asked. "Ocato is an Altmer. Couldn't you have used him?' It was a question, not asked in anger but in mere curiosity. Whereas before I had been terrified of Umaril, now I felt safe with Him. It was the others finding out that filled me with fear now.
'He is the Empire's lackey. Besides, you are special to me.' My heart fluttered, with an emotion I didn't recognise. What did he mean by that?
'In your readings you must have come across what became of Pelinal?'
'Yes,' I replied. 'He was torn into eight pieces by the furious Ayleids Lords who had remained in hiding during your fight with him.' My voice grew angry as I spoke of them. Cowards!
'Yes. Then you know what became of the Ayleids after that? The Exodus?'
'They went to High Rock, Summerset Isles and Valenwood and were absorbed by the local population.' I rattled from memory.
'Indeed. They bred with the locals. Produced offspring...' His voice held in it the unmistakable tone of happiness.
My universe shattered. I understood now. I was the descendant of those Ayleids.
'The same golden light, in both our bloods...' Umaril said with joy. 'My own flesh and blood...I had wanted you to find out for yourself.'
'Ff...Father!' I cried. I felt a flood of emotions. The mist enveloped me, and the velvet darkness became the most exquisite light.
I awoke with a gasp of ecstasy.
****
I returned the books to the library. The Moth priests were pleased, and praised my scholarship. I thanked them and bade them follow me. I told them Ocato needed to see them at once, and that i didn't know why.
They followed without question, even up to the dark floors that must have been unfamiliar to them. How fortunate that they were blind, I thought to myself.
The ten pedestals I know understood. The Ancestors would one day be returned here, when Umaril would be once again lord of this tower.
The two men waited at the foot of the golden statue, the suit of armor which they couldn't see, but which poured forth golden mist from its joints and mask. I cast Silence over them as the mist enveloped them. It wouldn't do for the whole Palace to hear their screams now would it?
As their bodies fell to the ground the suit of armor moved. Slowly at first, it lowered itself down from the pedestal. It towered over me, and I realised it must have been nine feet tall and not eight. I knelt, almost involuntarily. I felt a gold hand touch my shoulder. The silent permission to stand up was understood.
I dared not look at His mask, instead looking at his boots, made out of gold and shaped like a three-clawed foot in the traditional Elven style. Even on the boots the embellishments were ornate, the craftsmanship unsurpassed.
'You have done well. Come.' And He teleported us away from the Palace.
****
The darkness of the Ayleid ruins was vibrant with magic. We were in a gigantic throne room, with a pool of dark water at the foot of the staircase. White fires burned without smoke or smell in bronze holders around the circular pool.
Umaril was sitting on the throne, and I was at His feet. Below us, in flashes of blue-gold light, Aurorans were finding entry into Mundus.
He told me that He was assembling His army, and that soon the Aurorans would launch attacks on churches and cities. All the men of Cyrodiil would be slaughtered. There would be no Pelinal to save them.
I laughed with him. Yes, it is only right. Ayleid culture will be revived, and all the inferior races made our slaves. And White Gold Tower will be ours, as it was so long ago. If they will not surrender it, it shall be brought crashing around that traitor's head!
Treat me like chaff will you Ocato? Force me into a job I hate, father and mother? My true Father will crown me a Princess of Cyrodiil! Gods and Empire and man cast down from on high!
Darkness shall be banished from the entire world. We are the illumination.
I am the Light!