Thought this out last night while reading a Tasuki, Chichiri & Koji gay fic…But this is not a gay fic!!! I don't know how or why I got this idea either!!! Sheesh!!! Ore wa bakabakabakabakabaka~!!!
A day in the life of a bandit…
By: Koji
Schedule~
Morning: Wake up
Wash up
Breakfast & sake
Whack some disobedient subordinates
Planning the night's raid
Afternoon: Put finishing touches to plan & think of speech
Lunch & sake
Whack some other disobedient subordinates
Gather all bandits
Sort them into groups
Tell them what the hell they need to do
Evening: Dinner & sake
Whack some more disobedient subordinates
Make impressive speech
Night: Shower
Snack & sake
Whack the rest of the disobedient subordinates
Check plan in head once again
Midnight: Move out
Raid town or village (depending)
Bring loot back to Mt. Reikaku
Take off elaborate armor
Sleep
Narrative description~
*Yawn*Stretch*Force eyes to open fully*
Ohayou, Koji here. Acting leader of the bandits while Gen-chan is away. Wow, I slept till almost noon.
*Carries a metal pail with a towel inside*Drags himself out to the well*Get water from well*Wash up*
Well, now that I'm not so sleepy…let's bring you to the dining area for breakfast. I'm guessing you wouldn't like the food by that's all we have here so deal with it. We're here! *Knock*Knock*
"Ohayou. Watashi wa Koji desu. Acting leader of the bandits of Mt. Reikaku here for breakfast,"
"Koji-san, it's getting lame, y'know" (The poor commenter received a clobber.)
"Whatever…itadakimasu~!" *Munch*Munch*Guzzle*Guzzle*Munch*Bonk*Munch*Guzzle*
Now…which town should we raid next?? We raided Daisetsu the day before & Hibitou last week…let's try Toran tonight. Okay, Toran is a sea town…with the sea at the west side…I'll split them into 4 groups then, 3 of which will take the 3 remaining entrance while the last one infiltrate the west part. Yoshi…I'm such a good leader…*Gets back to sleeping quarters*
Noon already?? I haven't even started refining the friggin' plan yet! I'll get lunch later then… Let's see, I'll leave 5 each to guard the entrances while the rest search for food & gold. Wait, I'll leave 10 each just in case then & I'll get some men to get the west side with me while the rest of the 3 groups take care of the north, east & south. Set…but something needs improvement though. Hmm…*Stomach growl* Lunch…shoot! I was about to make that knock-on-door-thingy when I found the door was already open. Those guys…they're so going to get it *another growl* I think I better eat first before anything else. *Munch*Munch*Guzzle*Guzzle*Munch*
"Alright, people. Tonight, we shall raid Toran. Ryu, gather your men. You guys will take the east entrance & raid the eastern part. Shin, you'll take the north entrance & take whatever you find in the northern area, entering with me. Hmm…Chun, you'll take the south entrance & take care of the south. Be sure to leave at least 10 men at the entrance. I'll take some of you guys to raid the west. We'll meet at the town square in 4 hours' time before returning. We'll move out when the moon is almost near the mountain peak. As usual, we're looking for money & food & as usual, I want a clean raid…no rape, no killing & definitely no kidnap. You got me?"
"Yes sir!"
How was it? I think it's good…hope it works. Now for the part I hate most…speech. Can I skip them today? *Whines*
Dinner usually consist of some unlucky chickens, some veggies, more meat & lots of sake. Not to your liking? Well, we only have these so make do with them. Do we run out of sake? Hell, yeah! When we finish the ones we 'took' from some unlucky town, we'll send someone that is decent-looking to buy some with the gold we stole. Now eat up & get some rest. I don't want you to be sleeping while we're in town & I don't want to drag you back, okay?
"Koji-san…"
"Nani?"
"Anou…"
"Quit being wishy-washy,"
"Never mind," *Whack*
"Told you to quit being indecisive!!"
I swear…I'm going to make Genrou pay after he comes back. I'll make sure he gets hell here!!!
I'm going to hit the showers now. *Pads away with*
Ahh~! Bliss…it would be better if this mountain had a hot spring or something though. I wonder how much of the provisions we have left. I hope it could still last us at least a day or two just in case this raid fails. Dame!!! I shouldn't think like that. This plan WILL work…but I keep feeling that something is missing somewhere. The town square doesn't have much to raid, just a water fountain, some benches & some plants. Kedo…maa, I'll think of something if something really crops up.
Sigh, I'll skip snacking tonight too.
"Okay men. We'll move out now. Be sure to be as cautious as possible & try to get enough to last for a week at least," Well, they didn't bother about the lack of speech. Maybe they got sick of it too! Heck, just get enough food to fill everyone & I'm happy.
And so 3 hours later, "Yo, you guys done?" *Nods* "Yoshi. Get back!!"
We've gotten enough supplies (food & sake mainly) & gold to last us for 3 weeks. Big hit! *Yawn* When's Gen-chan returning anyway?? I can't wait to see his face when he finds out how hard it is to be the leader here. *Yawn*
*Yawn* Shoot, can't keep my eyelids open for long…now, leave my room & let me sleep!!! *Hastily pull off whatever armor he has & collapsed tiredly onto his unmade bed*Snore*Snore*Mumble*Curse*Snore*Snore*
Owari…
And there you have it. Not really that good but I'd tried…I really had. Well, maybe not 'really', but I did try, a little, argh! This explanation is going nowhere…sigh…*Snatches sake from a nearby bandit*
Bandit A: Hey! That's mine!! Kuso~!!!