I Forgot About Something
It was raining heavily when The Bus took off from Beijing. The past few weeks were for Fitz all the same – everything was the same – tasteless, colorless, hopeless… After the accident with Jemma he couldn't figure out how to function properly, function like he did before. Something changed that day. The thought of losing his best friend put him in an awful mood that just continued throughout weeks, but seemed like months. He needed a distraction, but after a few failed tries he gave up. Nothing helped him – not even science.
So that's why when agent Coulson came earlier and said that they needed to go to Glasgow he was relieved. Maybe finally, after months of travelling around the world and returning to the place where he felt the most secure, he would find some kind of closure and would finally be able to live like he did before again.
He just wanted to have a simple mission. No big chases, just plain science. He would do what he does best – try to figure out something no one else could. He just needed to know that it would be a simple mission; that nobody would get hurt.
"Meeting in 5," he heard Coulson's voice in his ear. He sighed with relief. Now he'll know if this would be what helps him or makes him even worse.
"I don't know if she's ready, Coulson" said Ward after what seemed like an hour-long conversation with his team leader and Simmons. "Especially if we take under account what happened a few weeks ago... I'd say she's really unfit for this operation."
"Well, we don't have a choice, do we? She's the only one on this plane who actually knows something about this thing. You have no previous experience with bioweapons," Coulson whispered. It's been a hard choice for him – to decide whether or not Simmons was ready to go on an undercover operation, but he knew that it was the right thing to do. "She knows her stuff, Ward. We can't just ignore that. You need to do this tonight. That's it. She's ready. You saw her – she was… happy. I think she got bored sitting in the lab. She wants to go on adventure."
"I just hope you're right," said Ward. He wanted to leave and he knew that he should but something just didn't feel right. Maybe after months on The Bus he finally started to be good at this whole teamwork thing. "You don't want her there, do you?" he asked, watching Coulson intently.
"No, I don't. But that's her job. And it will be your job to keep her save," he said. "Now, let's go and tell the team what we need to do tonight. It's not going to be easy."
"We recently got a tip from our source in Glasgow that Dr. Philip Ferguson, a famous biochemist, has been working on a project that can potentially be a very bad thing for us," said Coulson as the team finally got together in the conference room.
"What project?" asked Skye.
"We believe that Dr. Ferguson is creating a bioweapon." Everyone was silent. Even the plane, it seemed, stopped making so much noise. "We do hope that we're wrong. But because we don't have any proof and no time, we need to act now."
"So what, are we just going to visit this Ferguson and ask him if lately he's been developing something that can kill thousands if not millions of people?" asked Fitz. The hope that he had a few minutes ago just shattered into hundreds of pieces. There's no way this will be a simple mission. "What would he do with that weapon anyway?"
"We think he might want to sell it to someone who actually needs it. You know - the typical scenario. We stopped tens of guys like these. They just need money. They don't care about everything else anymore," said Coulson. "We do have a plan though. Dr. Ferguson is a well knows scientist and comes from a wealthy family…"
"Why does he need money then," Skye replied.
"Some men like to have fun with their cash," answered Coulson. "Anyway, as I was saying, he's from a rather wealthy family and is throwing a party tonight. Well, it's a charity event. His family has done it for generations. That event will take place at the Ferguson Family Residence, where doctor currently lives." There was silence again. "And works."
"So what? Do you want us to go there undercover? Look for this weapon?" asked May with her usual cold voice.
"Not you," said Coulson in a calm voice. "Simmons."
"What?" came out of Fitz's mouth. Everyone turned to him and he turned bright red. He couldn't believe what he was hearing. Jemma, his Jemma, not even a month after what happened, is going undercover to find a weapon that can potentially kill them all? Have they never seen a James Bond movie? Have they not been there when Skye did the same thing? He turned to his partner to see her standing there looking calm and smiling.
"It's going to be ok, Fitz. I'm the only one who can actually tell if something is a threat or not. It's my specialty. Besides, agent Ward will be with me all the time," said Simmons. She looked at Fitz with a smile. He looked away. Just like that. He couldn't that anymore. He just wanted things to get normal again. But I guess that wasn't an option when you're an S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. He could hear the team discussing their future actions, but he couldn't give a damn. Something inside just broke. And he wasn't the one who could fix it.
"She's going to be ok, Fitz. Ward will be there. You know how cool he is. He's like a superhero. But without any superpowers. Maybe super handsome but…"Skye was rambling. Again.
"I know," that's all he could say. What should he say? That he didn't want Simmons to go on the mission? That when he saw her leaving with Ward- smiling, happy - he felt empty inside? That he just didn't understand why he was feeling the way he felt? If he couldn't figure out what the hell was happening to him, Skye sure wouldn't be the one who can help him.
She and Ward had already left for the operation. She had done her hair. Fitz rarely saw her do that. But he guessed that she had to. She needed to look wealthy to get in. She was probably wearing a dress too. The only time he saw her wearing a dress was at the graduation party a few years ago. It was a strange thing to dance with her that night. They were always close – they never felt uncomfortable around each other. But that night, it was different. Even when they touched, what they did numerous times before, it felt different. Good different, Fitz remembered.
Fitz didn't want to listen to the operation. He knew that it was a live feed, but it felt like they were listening to a recording, like he was not a part of the whole thing. He wasn't needed there. All he was supposed to do he had already done. He wanted to leave. He got up and quietly left the room.
"Well, the operation was a success," said Simmons for a tenth time. She had already returned from the residence with Ward, having accomplished the given task. "I honestly thought we won't find anything down there. Can you imagine if someone caught us? It would be dreadful, wouldn't it?" Simmons turned to Fitz. He was sitting there, just looking at her. But he immediately turned away.
"Yeah, I'm glad you both did well. You saved a lot of people today, right?" said Fitz. He needed to say something. Otherwise she would notice that he wasn't feeling well, that he wasn't ok.
"Have to be honest, I'm going to miss the dress they gave me," Simmons continued. She seemed oblivious to the fact that her partner, who always talked a lot more than her and had some stupid comments about everything, just sat there in silence. "I really liked it. Did you?" she turned to Fitz again. He was still sitting behind his desk, doing nothing, starring into darkness.
"I guess," said Fitz. There was a pause.
"Uhm... well… yeah… Agent Ward told me I looked beautiful," she whispered.
Fitz didn't know what to say. Did Simmons like Ward? Was it because he saved her that day? Or was it because he was a very handsome man who can kill people with him thumb? It wasn't a mystery to him why Ward was well liked by women and he was just... well, Fitz. Nobody found science sexy. For a while, he thought that Simmons did. But, it seemed, he was wrong.
Simmons still was doing something in her part of the lab. She stopped talking. For the first time since she came back.
"I mean… Obviously, the dress was very nice. But I just think that you look more beautiful in your lab coat. You look beautiful every day. Here. Doing what you love to do. When you're here, in this lab, or any lab, really… yeah. Anyway, I should go to sleep," he said as he stood up. "Glad you're ok, Jemma," he said as he was leaving the lab.
That's when he saw her face. She was smiling. It was a smile he hasn't seen in weeks. Sure, she was always happy and seemed to be enjoying herself, but he forgot about that smile – the smile that she had only when they were together. The smile that he only saw when they were alone. He saw it. Again.
He walked out of the lab. But he froze on the place. He needed to do something.
She couldn't believe what she just heard. It was so… so… un-Fitz. He actually told her those words. And she felt good.
The past few weeks she wasn't feeling very good. She tried to pretend like everything was ok, but she knew she couldn't keep acting like that all the time, when in reality she was just miserable. She knew that she had every right to be in this state. That's what nearly dying does to you. You change. That's it. End of story.
But she just wanted to remain the same old Jemma. The girl who was always optimistic, who, along with her best friend, looked like characters from a cartoon. She liked that. She liked the idea of being someone who can cheer people up. So she just pretended to be ok.
She saw that Fitz was losing it. She saw that there was something wrong with him. She knew he wasn't ok. Every night she would wake up in sweat because she'd dream not about her falling from the plane, but she'd see Fitz, screaming, crying… She blamed herself. Why? She didn't know. But she knew that if Fitz saw her acting miserable he'd freak out and be overprotective and just... again… un-Fitz.
But he said those words. And walked out.
She was smiling. That smile. That true smile she only could master when Fitz was around. But he left. Because he wasn't pretending. He was hurting. But he didn't want to show it.
She was standing there for what seemed like an hour, but was merely seconds, when she heard Fitz walk in. She knew his walk. After so many years together you get used to those kinds of things.
"I forgot about something," she heard his voice behind her.
"Hmm, what's that?" she said as she turned around.
And then she felt his hands on her thighs and was pulled towards im. He pressed his lips against hers. Just for a moment, but what seemed like eternity. Her lips were soft and he wanted more. His hands wandered to her hair, his fingers running through it. And then he let go.
He was afraid. He had never been so afraid in his entire life. Maybe a few weeks ago. But that was a different kind of fear. This fear was mixed with anticipation. And he hated that. Every second lasted minutes, for him anyway. He wanted her to say something, but she just stood there with her eyes closed and mouth slightly open. He wanted to do it again. But this time more. He wanted to it badly. But he needed her to say something. He needed a sign.
"Well, this was a different type of experiment," he just couldn't help himself. He needed to fill the silence.
"Yeah…" whispered Simmons. His heart beat was getting faster and faster. He needed more. "I think we should run it again, just to be sure, you know with these…" she got cut off by Fitz, who lost his patience and finally kissed her again. This time, it was different. It had all those years of weird, unprofessed feelings, secret glances, and warm touches in it. It was what they always wanted. Two souls meeting together in the raw, sexual kiss. This time they were both trying to touch each other in the way they never touched each other before, kiss every inch of their skin. It was what they needed for so long, but didn't know about.
"I guess, the experiment was a success," said Fitz, breathing heavily. He finally was happy. For the first time in weeks he felt something inside his chest. His heart, he thought, was probably racing on the speed of light.
"But I don't think we should really stop testing…"
"Oh, no. Not in the near future," he said, as he leaned for another kiss.