YAOI - No Like No Read, Turn Back Now, Don't Leave a Flame on Your Way Out. ^_^
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Naruto: The Human Heart
Author: Jazzy
Rating: T
Pairing: Yashamaru/Iruka (Kakashi/Iruka)
Summary: Can you prevent what is already set in stone? Iruka and Yashamaru wish to accomplish the impossible. One-Shot. Yaoi, No Like No Read.
Warning: May Cause Tears.
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The Human Heart
Suna had always been a troublesome thorn in Konoha 's side. Konoha and Suna had been at war off and on for generations. Currently relations seemed to be taking a calmer turn for the moment and though Iruka had known better, his heart followed its own path even if it was down the road of doomed love. Iruka was still genin and had troubles of his own. He too had a demon baby he had to take care of because no one else would.
"Are you really going to blame him, as his father did, for his mother's death?" asked Iruka Umino in that dangerously quiet tone of voice he sometimes gets when he is truly beyond anger.
Yashamaru lowered his head and felt tears come to his eyes. "Iruka, how can you possibly understand what I'm going through? I'm so torn up inside. I know, reasonably, I know, he's just a child, a baby, it wasn't his fault. Yet, he's a demon also. She died giving birth to this monster." He growled in anger and grief.
He was so twisted up inside and in so much pain. He was within himself a country divided not just by two sides but by many. There was to take into account his loyalty to Suna, there was his loyalty to his Family, there was his loyalty to his own ideas and beliefs, and his own generous nature and of course there was Iruka Umino, his beloved one, gentle and kind, like himself but stronger then Yashamaru could ever possibly be and Iruka was so much unaware of that strength; it was maddening.
Iruka, Iruka, how can you be so oblivious, my love? I'm almost ashamed that one such as I can be called your love, these hands are not as innocent as yours are. You never try to kill anyone. You always look outward with eyes so pure they shine a light I am almost blinded by. You can see so much, analyze so much and so quickly, I am always in awe of you.
Iruka's face was as transparent as it always was. He stepped forward and hugged Yasha tightly to him. "Maybe I can't know all of what you are going through. But I too am a demon keeper. Naruto lays in that guest room asleep next to Gaara, sleeping peacefully. Within him is a nine-tailed fox demon, Naruto is Jinchuriki as well; and he, NO, Naruto no, but the demon within him, yes." Iruka squeezed his eyes tightly shut and made himself breathe through the pain and anger.
"That demon is responsible for wiping out my whole family, and many, many, others' families as well. But it is not Naruto's fault. He is not the demon, but a baby, a human orphan, that needs love and care. Gaara will face more than just your problems Yashamaru. Naruto is with me because people have tried to kill him and have neglected him and hurt him, and he is defenseless and he needs me. He's a baby, okay a toddler and he's starting in on his "naughty two" years stage but he still needs me. He will always need me, and I will always be there for him. Don't you understand Yasha?"
Iruka gazed earnestly and lovingly into Yashamaru's eyes. Two fifteenyear old boys, surprisingly of the same height one dark and one light. They had been lucky ro find one another and to find love within each other.
"Gaara needs you Yashamaru. His own father looks at him with such cold eyes; this village fears him and hates him, all at once. If Gaara is meant to be a weapon, I would prefer that he, like Naruto, grew up knowing what to fight for. Because I guarantee it won't be for a village that scorns and tries to kill them. They need loyalty and love. So that they can eventually find the strength they will need to fight the darkness that threatens their hearts and souls, the many people they will be made to protect even against their will."
"Can't you see Yasha-koi? They have human hearts. Yashamaru, they are as human and as vulnerable within those hearts of theirs, as you or I am. Its our human hearts that will decide who to love and who to defend and fight for. It's the human heart that gives us such strength and courage to face each day and each new experience."
"Maybe I can't fully understand all that you are going through, but I do know some of your pain. And I am here for you Yashamaru as long as you will have me and for as long as Konoha and Suna are at peace with one another."
Yashamaru squeezed Iruka back, hard, holding on very tightly. They were both children and single parents all in one. They needed each other. They filled the empty hunger in one another's hearts and the pain from all the losses they have suffered. Iruka was such an idealist and again too kind, too kind. For a smart guy why couldn't he figure out the truth?
"With his birth, don't you get it, Iruka? Suna and Konoha are cursed to go to war, again!" Cried Yashamaru in despair, "We will be torn from one another, cruelly divided by our loyalty to our countries! These children will have no choice but to grow up and become tools of their villages and bring destruction to everyone and everything! They are weapons to be used and discarded as their leaders dictate." He growled, for a moment his grief and insanity from it showed through but Iruka held on tightly. "We have no say in anything. Their paths are already laid out before them, and it's a road to death and blood and destruction. Human hearts, human hearts! We're humans and yet we're more monstrous than they!"
Iruka felt his eyes burn with tears he tried not to shed. His poor Yashamaru, did Iruka have a hope in hell of easing any of that pain in Yasha? Could he not touch Yashamaru at all with some bit of sanity? I don't want to ever regret having loved you Yashamaru. Isn't there anything I can do or say to ease your suffering even a little bit?
"Don't you understand at all Iruka? Suna doesn't want peace. Our leaders want to destroy Konoha and they will use this monster, this child of my sister's, to do it with."
"Then we won't let them! Let's take our babies with us and run away together."
Yashamaru looked at Iruka with disbelief. "How can you even suggest such a thing? Aren't you loyal to your village?"
"Of course I am," growled Iruka. "What I am suggesting might just prevent a war, and it might even prevent a great deal of pain for those two babies in there." He hissed pointing to the nursery. "I can think of no greater sacrifice or greater sense of loyalty then that; to prevent the deaths of my precious people and to prevent the doom of my village. Yes! I would gladly give up my place in Konoha if it means saving my village and its grieving people. Wouldn't you do the same? Won't you do this with me? We can be together and we can be a family."
"We'll be hunted down," Yashamaru argued. "They won't dare to let their weapons leave them. We'll be dead before we reach the borders."
"Maybe you're right. But I am not willing to give up so easily." said the stubborn Iruka.
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Gaara is Seven Years Old now.
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Yashamaru smiled as he remembered Iruka. He smiled at Gaara as his blood ran from his many wounds. We do what we must.
Yashamaru had given up long ago. He had never been as strong as Iruka and whatever strength he'd had was taken from him when Suna had followed them and taken them back and his own brother-in-law had punished him, tortured him for days, beating it into his head. His loyalty was to the village first and everything else, even the human heart came last.
I tried Iruka. I really did.
Sister, was this truly what you wanted?
Iruka, take me into your arms and let us be together at last.
Gaara screamed in anguish and confusion as Yashamaru died in a blaze of explosive tags.
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Gaara is Sixteen now.
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Gaara stood inside the young sensei's house. After the Chunin exams the memories Gaara had locked away in his own traumatized mind came back to him little by little. Gaara's memories were few but cherished. He remembered Yashamaru had loved this person. He had seen Yashamaru become someone else with this person in his life. Iruka Umino had not changed at all except to have grown a little more mature.
Gaara could also now recall a smaller version of Naruto as well and his time with the two of them, Iruka and Naruto in Suna with Yashamaru. He could recall it had been one of the happiest times in his or Yashamaru's lives. A time filled with brightness, laughter, and joy. It had been a time of great love for their tiny little family.
Gaara could also recall that rambunctious two year old that looked at him with such warm feelings in his face and curiosity constantly in his large sapphire blue eyes. Naruto had always found something to giggle about, and had always played with him, even if it was only to bounce him up and down, since after all, Gaara had only been a baby at the time, not even able to walk yet and barely crawling.
The young sensei looked nervous and flustered to have the Kazikage in his home. Yet Iruka bravely stared him in the face and smiled at him in welcome. Iruka made them tea and sat down with him.
"Hello Gaara." He said warmly. "I see that you have finally remembered me."
Gaara nodded. "Hai, I came to see you. I was going through Yashamaru's things. His home is shut off from everyone. I sort of made it a bit of a shrine but now I've opened it up and have been laying Yashamaru's memory to rest within me and I found some things of his, things that made me remember a little more of what I had forgotten."
Iruka bowed his head over his tea and fought back the painful memories of his failure as Yashamaru's lover and friend.
"He had mistakenly believed you'd been murdered for your transgressions against Suna and the Leaf." Explained Gaara as he gave Iruka the last remnant of Yashamaru, an old photo of the two youths, one dark haired and scarred, one blonde with love shining in his ever soft face, each youth carried on them a baby, one red-headed and one blonde child.
Iruka's battle was lost as tears stung his eyes and began to flow. "I thought." He gasped in pain. "I thought. He had died defending me. I never knew he was alive. When we tried to leave Suna together we were as Yashamaru had predicted hunted down. They came after us, relentlessly. We tried everything we could to stay together and to keep the two of you. We tried so hard to become a family. But they came and… they were so relentless. We managed two months and then we were found. He died in front of my eyes. I never thought to question if it was genjutsu. I should have known better." wept Iruka-sensei brokenly. "I should have known."
"How could you have known any better Iruka-sensei? Not even Yashamaru realized the truth, not even when he killed himself on my fathers orders many years later after your separation." Said Gaara offering his rusty sympathies and feelings and support for the one he had once thought of as a second mother or father. It had been hard to figure out which one had been the mother or the father in the relationship between Yashamaru and Iruka. They had both been very gentle and sensitive souls.
Iruka forced air into his lungs trying to explain through his tears and the heavy feelings suffocating inside his chest. "I tried to take you with me. I ran a long time, all alone. But eventually just as before, they caught up with me. Even the Leaf had joined them in the hunt that time."
He scrubbed harshly at his eyes and face with the back of his uniform sleeve, "Ibiki-sensei, and even my Hokage understood why I had left the village. They forgave me, understanding that I was young and that at heart I had not done it for selfish reasons but to defend and protect Konoha. Yet I was not allowed to bring you with me. I begged them, I begged them to give you to me. That you were all I had left of Yashamaru." He gasped, struggling to speak through his tears and the painful memories.
"But my Hokage and Ibiki explained to me, if I didn't give you up, it would mean outright war between our two villages. I begged him though. I begged and pleaded. I didn't want to understand what having you would mean for our two villages. All I wanted was for you to have a home with me. You were all I had left of Yashamaru, I thought at the time.
"Even when Hokage Sautobi and even Ibiki-sama explained; It's an understanding between villages, ours and others with Jinchuriki in them, that no village could ever be allowed to have more than one Jinchuriki in them. If such a thing were to happen war would break out. For no village was allowed to have such power."
"If I had kept you, Konoha would be under constant attack, not just from Suna, but from any other village that envied and wanted a Jinchuriki or felt it a blatant show of our power, since after all, a village is allowed only one Jinchuriki, one all powerful weapon. Konoha wanted peace. I…"
"I understand, Iruka-sensei." Said the quiet Gaara. "It's not your fault. It was never your fault, Iruka-sensei." Insisted the young Kazikage. "I found his journal not long ago after the Chunin exams, after I met Naruto and felt a desire to change myself. Yashamaru loved you very deeply. He was never the same after your "death", he was broken. So broken. Nothing could ever repair what my father and mother had put him through. Perhaps if … but it seems it was just not meant to be. I'm sorry Iruka-sensei."
Iruka wept harder. "I failed you Gaara. I failed Yasha. Poor Yashamaru. What he must have suffered. What they must have done to him…" he buried his face in his hands. "I thought he had died. If I had only known… if I… Poor Yashamaru, to break him so.... and then to put you through what you went through. Oh Kami, I am so sorry Gaara. I am so, so, sorry." He whispered ashamed, still weeping painfully. "Gaara, can you ever forgive me?"
"It's not your fault. It was never your fault, Iruka-sensei." Insisted the young Kazikage and he would continue to insist for as long as it took to make Iruka realize it. "I honestly didn't come here to cause you such suffering, Iruka-sensei. I came to give you the photo and to let you know how much I remembered you and still hold a great deal of gratitude and respect for you."
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Kakashi came home to find Suna Anbu guarding his and Iruka's little home. He blinked taken aback by such a discovery. What was going on here? Was Irukain danger? Had Iruka said something or done something brash since Kakashi left for his mission 24 hours before?
Kakshi studied the lay out and positions of the Suna ninja, calming himself down when he didn't feel any killing intent in the air, just the usual alertness that any guard felt while attending to their important duty as escort and protector to an official person.
Carefully Kakashi slinked into view, his Icha Icha Violence firmly gripped in his hands. He was trying very hard to be nonchalant, but seriously, it was a bit nerve wracking to know that someone as deadly and as important as Gaara of the Sand, Suna's Kazikage, was visiting his Iruka and was inside his house with his Chunin lover. Iruka could be in danger. His nose scented tears, his ears twitched to alertness as he heard the hitching sobs that could only belong to his Love-Dolphin.
Iruka only got this emotional when it came to Yashamaru, his first true love. Iruka felt a terrible sense of guilt and responsibility for Yashamaru's death, even if that death hadn't actually come to pass until many years after their forced separation. Still Iruka was a very sensitive soul who took on more responsibility then his broad shoulders could take.
The Guards looked The Copy Ninja over with equal parts curiosity and suspicion, as well as admiration and well, the usual momentary flash of distaste as the book in Kakashi's hand was recognized for the porn that it was.
Kakashi with his signature mark one-eyed grin said. "Pardon me, but I live here."
"You, live here?" asked the Anbu, trying hard not to choke or show his surprise.
This was Kakashi Hatake, the famous copy ninja, and the man was a pervert, it was a little disappointing. How could this elite ninja be a pervert? The hype truly had nothing on the real Kakashi. And the most stunning revelation of all, this elite ninja admitted to living with a Chunin School teacher.
Still if this man lived up to the information they had in the bingo book, Kakashi was a very dangerous person and this Anbu of Suna didn't feel very comfortable in letting this man enter into the same home as his Kazikage.
"Perhaps, Kakashi-san, if you would please wait a moment more until Gaara-sama is done visiting?" asked the nervous Anbu.
"I am afraid I cannot do that. I have a little dolphin that needs comforting." Replied Kakashi almost playfully.
Hatake, Kakashi, was inscrutable and confusing. A dolphin? Wondered the Suna Anbu, what did that have to do with this house and with Gaara-sama inside?
Before the Suna Anbu could protest any further Kakashi did a quick little jutsu and left the two Suna Anbu outside with a slight case of confusion and a minute's worth of amnesia.
Kakashi stood behind the weeping Iruka and leaned down and hugged him, glaring at Gaara. It was heartbreaking watching his loved one crying so and in such emotional turmoil.
"What have you done to my little Ru-kun?" it was said sweetly but with an undertone of menace.
Gaara sighed. "Nothing that was meant to cause him this pain, I promise you. I came to give him a keepsake from his time in Suna when he was with my uncle, Yashamaru. I came to let him know, that Iruka-san, was always on my Uncle's mind and conscience. That though things turned unfortunate, Yashamaru never once regretted loving Iruka-sensei. Please believe me. That as long as I am Kazikage there will never be war again between the Leaf and the Sand. I am sorry Iruka-sensei for causing you to grieve anew. I just… wanted to see you again." said the young man, looking lost and as young as he truly was.
Iruka nodded. "I know. I'm an emotional person. I'm sorry for any discomfort I may have caused you Kazikage-sama," Iruka apologized, wiping away the last of his tears. With Kakashi holding on to him and with Gaara's eyes on him, with his promise for their two villages, he knew he could at last truly move on.
"Thank you, Gaara-sama."
"No, Iruka-sensei, thank you. Thank you for loving my Uncle, and thank you for loving Naruto and myself. You were right about the human heart, Iruka-san. The human heart beats within me and within Naruto, both of us have to thank for that. So thank you, Iruka-sensei, thank you very much from the bottom of my human heart." With this Gaara bowed deeply and respectfully to Iruka then bid him and his new love a good day.
"Thank you Gaara-sama, please come and visit us as often as you like." Beamed Iruka at Gaara, waving and smiling as Gaara and his vanguard walked on their path out towards the gates of Konohagure.
Kakashi's eye widened in surprise.
"Iruka!" he protested.
"What?" Frowned Iruka at his lover. He wasn't going to take "no" from Kakashi on the matter of Gaara coming to visit them. "He's like a second son to me. I want him to come visit me."
Kakashi recognized the stubborn look in Iruka's face and knew it was a lost cause. Kakashi slumped. He was so whipped. He hoped no one ever found out how much Iruka had him wrapped around his little fingers.
"I love you, Kakashi." Smiled Iruka knowingly.
"Its no fair," Pouted Kakashi, "the power you wield over me, its just not fair, my little love-dolphin."
"It's no more then the power you have over me as well, Shi-chan." Smirked Iruka, eyes laughing at his lover's cute pouty expression under the mask. He then looked to the picture held reverently in his hands. He was going to put it on the mantel next to the pictures of his parents and Naruto-kun and Kakashi.
He still loved Yashamaru and yet, he also very much loved and was in love with Kakashi. It always surprised Iruka at how much he felt for both men. Mizuki had once held a place in his heart as well, but it had never been as strong as the bonds he had felt for Yashamaru or now for the copy ninja.
Yes, it wasn't the same love as before, it wasn't young like spring but it held something just as strong and just as intense. It wasn't the same love as before but it was. It was a love that he had never thought he could feel after Yashamaru had passed away and yet, this love still grew in his heart; it was strong like the "will of fire" that burned in all who are of the Leaf.
Once he would have said no one could ever take up the place inside his heart where Yashamaru had lived, but with Kakashi, that Yashamaru sized hole, was being patched up. No, Kakashi couldn't replace Yashamaru or the feelings he'd had for Yashamaru or the memories he still carried of Yashamaru but Kakashi and Iruka's love was on par with that love he had felt so long ago for the gentle and broken Yashamaru.
Kakashi took the opportunity to press even closer to Iruka and whisper in his ear. "What deep thoughts are going on in that head of yours, when I'm right here." seductively Kakashi caressed Iruka's chest and nibbled along his ear and jaw. He had after all come home froma mission and their usual greetings had been disturbed by Gaara's visit. He loved and wanted to be loved be Iruka. He ached for Iruka's touch. His little dolphin was even more addicting than Icha Icha.
Iruka's reply came as seductively as Kakashi's suggestion had come."Come on Shi-chan, I've missed you and I could really use some loving right now." He murmured right back into his beloved one's ear.
Kakashi smirked lovingly then quickly picked Iruka up bridal style and raced into the bedroom where he … well… made love to his Love.
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The End
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Reviews Appreciated. ^_^