Olivia: Phineas and Ferb... what can I say?

Desirae: You want to ruin yet another perfectly good series with your sucky writing?

Olivia: ...

Desirae: Or you don't own it?

Olivia: ... I don't own Phineas and Ferb.

Desirae: Enjoy!

"Ah, Perry the Platypus, you've managed to sneak into my building undetected and disassembled the obvious trap I set for you. I'm impressed. And by impressed, I mean COMPLETELY PRESSED!" Suddenly, a giant, clear, bottomless shaker fell down and trapped Perry where he stood. Dr. Doofenshmirtz laughed and walked up to his nemesis.

"I got you! The wrought iron cage that was going to drop down was just a decoy. I planned on using this spice shaker the whole time. Look, it even has a cute little label on in. Paperryka! You know, like Paprika, but you're Perry. Hence… Paperryka. You know, it made much more sense to me when I was cooking last night." Perry rolled his eyes and Doofenshmirtz put his hands on his hips.

"You know, I don't appreciate the attitude, Perry the Platypus. Puns are underappreciated these days. Even by the people who make them. But we can't dwell on that now. It's time to explain my evil scheme. You see, when I was a young boy back in Gimmelshtump, I worked as a lawn gnome. You know that story so I won't get into it again. Though it's weird how a lot of my back stories relate back to me being a lawn gnome." Doofenshmirtz paused to think for a second before shrugging and continuing on with his story.

"Anyway, because I was forced to stand there and not move, I had a lot of time to think. I came up with stories of great tragedy, romance, and comedy. They were perfect. They were epic tales of daring and disaster! But I could not think of a way to word them for the public. I wasn't very good at writing at the time. So, I told my ideas to my neighbour, Kenny. Well as it turned out, he was a good writer, so he wrote out my ideas and they became the most popular books in all of Druelselstein.

"But, when it came time to announce who was responsible for these books, Kenny took all the credit! I was left with nothing. Since then, I vowed to destroy the series! But by then it was a global phenomenon, and it was impossible. Until now. Behold, Perry the Platypus! The Wipe-Your-Fictional-Book-Franchise-Off-The-Face-Of-The-Planet-Inator!" Doofenshmirtz pulled a tarp off a large metal contraption that appeared to have a crown of lasers around the top, all sticking out at a forty-five degree angle.

"Or the Literature-Destruct-Inator, I can't decide which one. It'll take the most popular book series right at this moment and erase it from the entire Tri-State Area! I suppose your wondering why I'm not getting rid of it world wide. It's because the range on this –inator isn't the best. But, as long as the books are out of the Tri-State Area I'll be happy. That way when I walk by the bookstore I won't see it staring out of the best seller rack in the window, mocking me. And to make sure it works immediately, I have a copy of all forty-seven books from the series. I know it's counter productive if I bought the books I'm trying to get rid of, but I didn't exactly, think it through."

Perry turned his head to see a bookcase close by the door with all the books stacked neatly away. He looked back to Doofenshmirtz and knew it was time to make his move. Doofenshmirtz reached the machine and was about to press the button when a kick from Perry knocked him over.

"Ouch! Perry the Platypus, how did you escape?" Perry pointed back to the trap he had gotten out of to show it was tipped over on its side. Doofenshmirtz gasped, "You pushed it over? Hmm… maybe I would have been better off with the wrought iron cage." Perry punched Doofenshmirtz across the room and headed to destroy the –inator when a shoe flew over his head and pressed the button. The lasers were all activated and beams of light spread over the entire Tri-State Area. Doofenshmirtz laughed and Perry turned around to face him. By now, Doofenshmirtz was back on his feet

"YES! You're too late, Perry the Platypus. I won this time!" Perry leapt to smack Doofenshmirtz with his tail. He may have pressed the button, but he wasn't going to win. He was in mid leap when Vanessa walked into the room.

"Hey, Dad, you need to drive me h-" She stopped when she saw Perry he felt her concern. At his momentum, if he hit Doofenshmirtz, there would be a domino effect and they would all topple onto Vanessa, potentially causing her some serious harm. Instead of hitting his nemesis, he grabbed onto the side of his head and propelled himself up onto the bookcase.

Not even a second passed before he used his legs to push the case on top of Doofenshmirtz, thereby causing all forty-seven books to come crashing down on top of him. Vanessa stood about a foot from the bookcase, completely unharmed, while her father was both outraged and confused as he gazed at the books around him.

"Wait, what? These were supposed to be destroyed! CURSE YOU, PERRY THE PLATYPUS!" Perry smirked and tipped his hat before using his hang glider to make his standard exit.

OOOOOOO

"MOM! MOM! MOM! See! I told you Phineas and Ferb wrote a best selling novel! I told you!" Linda simply stared as her daughter pointed to an empty display case in the bookstore. She sighed, just like every other day.

"Candace, do I even need to say nothing is there." Candace seemed confused, then turned to the empty case and screamed at the top of her lungs. "What? No! Even if it was the most popular book in Danville, how does it just disappear in a matter of one second?" Just then, Phineas and Ferb walked up to the two women. Phineas was smiling as always, but seemed a little confused himself.

"Hey, Mom. Did you see our book? It seems to have disappeared." Linda smiled at her son and stepson and shook her head, "No, hun, but tell you what. I'll get you a new one, then we can go home for some snacks." Phineas' confusion disappeared and he motioned enthusiastically to his stepbrother.

"Come on, Ferb! Let's go pick something out!" After the two boys ran off to the engineering section, Linda turned back to her daughter, "Candace, honey, would you like a book too?" Candace snorted.

"A book… to like read? I think I'll pass. I've had enough books for one day. Oh there you are, Perry." The platypus, who just wandered in with his trademark, unfocused eyes, chattered. Candace rolled her eyes and stalked off.

"Ugh, why couldn't my brothers get a normal pet, like a Chihuahua or a bunny or something that could fit in my purse. At least they could have gotten an interesting pet." Perry smirked inwardly at her statement. If only they knew…

OOOOOOO

Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated

"Ouch, Vanessa, easy with the antiseptic!" The sixteen year old rolled her eyes, but didn't ease up, "Dad, it's your own fault." Doofenshmirtz turned to his daughter incredulously.

"Vanessa, how can you say that? I didn't knock over the bookcase. Perry the Platypus did! Though I'm still not sure how he thwarted me." Vanessa shook her head. The answer was obvious.

"He only knocked it over on you because you're evil! He would have slapped you with his tail if I hadn't been in the path of danger." At that, Doofenshmirtz perked up. How could have not seen this before?

"You're right, Vanessa! He couldn't hurt an innocent bystander, so he had to stop his attack… well, before he figured out another way. But, what if I had an innocent to use as a shield to ward off his attacks. He's the good guy, he can't do something that would hurt someone who wasn't evil, or allow them to come to harm. He would be powerless against me!" Vanessa snorted in derision.

"You mean like a hostage situation?" Doofenshmirtz was taken aback, "That's what that is? I always thought that was some kind of food. You know, like sausages." Vanessa raised an eyebrow.

"You're joking, right?" Doofenshmirtz looked a little uncomfortable when he answered, "Yes… joking. Ahem, anyway, now all I need to do now is find myself an innocent, or a 'hostage' as the kids call it." Vanessa crossed her arms.

"Count me out."

"I can't use you. You're my daughter. Perry knows I would never hurt you. Besides, if you're going to be in the family business, we can't get him used to seeing you as an innocent, now can we?" Vanessa stood and stomped her foot.

"I'm not evil!"

"Give it time, Vanessa, give it time."

Olivia: Hope you liked the first chapter :)

Desirae: Please review and stuff. She needs the ideas.

Olivia: Do not.

Desirae: ;)