I would like to wish a Happy Birthday to Wayne Anthony Allwine you might've known him these past years as Mickey Mouse who he played for 32 years. you ARE missed dude.
February 7, 1947 - May 18, 2009
Ps: This fic will SUCK i haven't slept properly in four days because I have the flu (Horrible coughing, jippy tummy) and all my brain wants to do is shut down, so yeah this is a story from Ms Fuzzy, without her you'd be lucky if I was typing this into a computer and not a microwave.
Warnings: Foul language, OOC-ness, blah, blah SUPER bad writing and jokes.
Thankies: Yuti-chan, Addster, QueenOfFanFicWorldLoveGunner and Princess-Zathura ^_^ uhhh...WHITEBOARD HATS FOR ALL! *fling* *cough* *dies* X_X
Disclaimer: I don't own NARUTO Masashi Kishimoto does as well as TvTokyo, I don't own The Wombles either.
Start
On a road, well road side, was Mei looking as good as ever and her team and oh God it's BaconMan, the bringer of tastey-ness and sore muscles.
"Tell me young lady, why are we doing this again?," The Frost Daimyo asked looking seriously worried about his safety.
"Cause you're old and everyone knows old people in this manga are like rare birds that should be locked up so they shall never be soiled by foul hands," Mei answered happily, spinning on one foot.
Stopping for a moment her words echoed in her head (*echo*) before she giggled and clapped her hands, "So let's lock you up and get goin'!,"
The members of her guard team let out a breath of relief, happy she didn't insult herself like she was so prone to doing.
The Lord eyed them warily, something in his gut told him not to trust the orangey haired girl, but it wasn't like he or his massive mustache had a choice in the matter. Seriously look at that thing, could take over the world I tell you.
At the mansion of fusy wrinkly people
Standing on the balcony, deep in thoughts only old people have was Fire Daimyo (Aka Feudal Lord),"Hm, hm, hm, hm, hm ,hm," he hummed,
Suddenly he stopped and placed his fan (not the one of his head) on his chin,"I got it! the super medal of supreme conquest!," he smiled in pride.
The Bird/Swamp? Daimyo grunted, "But they're not conquering anything, most of them are either fighting mutant plant men, Zombies or sitting on their asses,"
The land of Water's Lord nodded, as much as he could considering, "True, true,"
ironically enough sitting on the roof of the mansion were two Konoha ninja, Genma and Raido, who'd both been listening at the mention of ''Supreme Conquest''
"We can hear you," They both barked in an angry tone, "And we'll kill you,"
"I'd like to see you try Toothpick Charley!," One of the Daimyo sang quickly followed up by other with the same happy, taunting, voice, "Yeah Scarface,"
The two ninja scowled defiantly before tsk'ing and going about there duty, when-
*Tink tink* a Bamboo chime(eh) clinked as an unknown force agitated it, signaling the lazy shinobi inside a room.
"The magic tinking bamboo she's signaling us to danger!," one of the guards yelled looking out the window, "Hey isn't that the black thing that was with the Bishonen(?) Antagonist?," he asked.
"Wow you're right,"
"What's he doing?,"
"Is he..." The stock ninja grimaced in disgust, "Ew,"
"Oh that poor shrub," another one grumbled sympathetically.
A brown haired shinobi looking through a pair of binoculars chuckled,"That's right you dirty shrub," he said with a perverted smirk on his face.
"Patrick!,"
"Come on, I can't be the only one who likes plant porn,"
And on that disturbing note, the weird looking stock characters leaped out of the window and began chasing a less than suprised Black Zetsu over one of the Imperial mansions guard walls, right up to the figures of the five Feudal Lords.
"this isn't the least bit suspicious," The plant man muttered sarcastically, drooping his golden eye in a deadpan.
Mini trap doors in the backs of the decoys heads opened and shot out a web, oh a net excuse me, in an attempt to trap Zetsu.
"He fell for it!," One of the ninja cheered.
But the celebration was for-not, because Zetsu is awesome and (not Sasuke) fazed into the ground enough to miss the net, which continued its path towards the joint shinobi, most of them scattered but one unfortunate little man was not quick enough and got wrapped up like a burrito on bean night.
"Alright that was just insulting ,of all the ninja tools and traps that you have at your disposal, you choose a net and poorly made decoys ,you guys are pathetic," Black Zetsu scowled, half of his body sticking out of the ground.
"He's so mean," the burrito ninja sobbed quietly
"Aw fuck it, it's not here anyway," What's not here? is it a scroll? A seal? A body? the magical orb of the under sea world ''Atlantis''? "How'd you know..."
Everyone looked at him with suprised/confused expressions.
Zetsu began to sweat and stutter,"I mean, well what I meant was...Bye," more of him disappeared
"No you don't! Get him!," Guchi ninja ordered, readying his weapon.
"See ya Bitches," Zetsu vanished completely.
And since I screwed up the pacing ( by a lot) we head over to Mei
With an enthusiastic gesture and a three year olds art project, the Mizukage explained her great plan.
"-we have five hideouts so you see, at an organized time we'll move you from hideout to hideout, the enemy won't be able to figure it out," she smiled
Yes but, if they figure it out and you don't detect them, couldn't they just wait for you to move and attack?
"Hey yeah what about that?," Bacon-man asked.
"SILENCE! This is my plan and we're doing it my way!," Mei screamed, glaring daggers at him.
"I wanna go back home, I'd be safer there than with you people!," The Frost Daimyo exclaimed, scrambling to find his footing as he fell out of the traveling cart and onto to the ground.
"No you're staying and that's final!," The old man screamed as Mei dragged him off in the direction of the first hideout.
In a pine forest not that far away was Black Zetsu, getting friendly with a tree, he placed a hand on the trunk and mended with it, the only thing visible was a very round eye peeking out, watching the distant scenery, like a chipmunk in a sock on Christmas.
The plant man chuckled darkly,"fools, I am the land itself!," The orb followed a blue butterfly as it passed bye, a light pink formed on the bark of the tree as the eye turned upwards in a smile, "Pretty,".
Over to Dasui and Nakedness!
Spiky beach that looks like the turtle island, Joint shinobi forces and a massive army of Zetsu` could it get any better than this.
Dasui laughed heartily,"Now to show off my badassery!," Apparently it can! Whoop! "After I do my thing you jump in," he instructed his forces.
"Sir!," They nodded.
...Are the Zetsu wearing pants.
"Lightning element! Black Panther!," Dasui called, but a panther did not come! Instead in place of the large fierce jungle cat was a tiny lightning kitten (It could've been a duck, just sayin',)
"Aww so cute," Coos rang across the battlefield.
A ninja leaned towards his confused commander,"I see your plan sir, you're trying to distract the enemy with the supreme cuteness!,"
"That's not it at all you twit!," The cloud nin grabbed him by the collar of his vest and began to shake him harshly.
As the yelling commenced the lightning kitten wandered over to the waters edge, spotting a fish just below the surface it dipped its paw in, zapping half of the white Zetsu so bad they 'sploded along with the kitty, this snapped the other half of the army out of their cuteness induced trance.
Kakuzu narrowed his eyes,"you didn't see that."
Dasui dropped his troupe mate into the arms of the other shinobi,"And I didn't make that."
The two nodded,"Deal,"
So the fight began! with the Zetsu flinging themselves at the joint unit shinobi, who decided to fling things back for once instead of themselves, it's topsy-turvy day.
"I'm feisty!," TenTen yelled, throwing handfuls of weapons at a time at the flying buff monsters and Kakuzu.
"I'm TED!," Kankuro's troupe member Tango appeared in an over the top pose.
"I'm bored," Dan said, he and Asuma landing in front of their enemy for the next few chapters, the ever mighty and angry Chouza.
"I'm Dead," Hizashi said somberly as he rose a hand to his brother.
"My brother," Hiashi sighed sadly with a forlorn expression.
As Mt Zetsu erupts ,Neji, surrounded by enemies on all sides shouted in annoyance, "My head!," it's like he knew about the rhyme epidemic hitting the authoress.
Skip over to
Zombji Chiyo! With her gross squinted eyes that just won't close (why momma, why won't they close) Zombji Kimimaro the man with one of the saddest death soundtracks ever, fat dude with a star fish painted on his face and random mist guy, posing in a field, staring at Kankuro and his troupe. Better hope nobody needs a bathroom brake or they're all doomed.
"We all gonna die!," Zaji cried, falling to his knees.
Kankuro scowled,"I told you to go before we left!," he barked, "NO need to worry though, they're only the undead, at least they're not the playdough demons,"
"I'd take them over That," A brown haired stock character behind Kankuro cried pointing to Chiyo.
Her crinkly old eyes snapped open in shock at the voice, "TG?,"
"Eh," The character flinched.
"TG My boy, it's me,"
That-guy blinked with a serious expression that turned into one of sniffles and watery eyes, "Granny chiyo?," he croaked.
The Zombji smiled a crooked, rotten smile *Enter shriek of horror here*
"Fighting was never your style, it was never in your heart!," The gray haired old crone said with an inspirational spark.
Kankuro and the others slowly shrank away from That-Guy and Granny Chiyo, fear racing through their veins.
"O-oi, don't leave me with them, take me with you!hmm," Deidara called out from within his puppet tomb.
"Do what you were born to do!," That-Guy nodded and flung himself into the air in a pirouette, "Go my boy! Dance, dance to your hearts content!," with that encouragement he spun and jumped all around.
And just when the sparkles of fate and spandex were closing in sealing the deal that he would be a dancing ninja forever more,a sharp pointy shuriken came down piercing his shoulder.
The dancing Ninja looked at the mist ninja with a whole-hearted glare,"Hey you jerk I was dancing there,"
"Fuck off ya square, this war is for shinobi only, there's no room for dancers," Such cruelty held within words.
Slowly and sadly the young danja turned away and stalked into the forest until he was out of sight.
"That was a waste of a time,hmm" Deidara mumbled.
"Says Mr TrappedInAPuppet," The mist Zombji chuckled.
"Asshole,yeah,"
Out of nowhere a kunai whizzed through the air towards Zombji Chiyo, it missed by inches and buried into the tree behind her.
This sparked a Kunai/shuriken it's own battle, where everyone was throwing weapons but no one was running out or dying, tis the mini factories in their pouches don'tcha know.
When suddenly-"has anyone seen my leg warmers?," TG stepped back onto the field without warning, catching a giant Tobiguchi (1) to the side of the neck, "OWIE!," he cried as he fell to the ground in slow-motion.
"That-Guy! Noooooo!," Kankuro called running forward to catch his comrade (but not really)
Life without Leg warmers
Is no life
At all (I dunno...I just-don't know)
"He killed That-Guy!," Zaji knelt down beside That-Guy taking him from the squad leader.
"You Bastard!," Kankuro pointed at the smirking Zombji.
Somewhere else -
inside a burrow hidden beneath a lone mulberry-bush on the island of Zetsu and pointy spikes was a family of Wombles(2), curled up inside a castle of Leg warmers, mittens and the bright orange fuzzy hat from the Yo Gabba Gabba show.
"It is done," Peter Lorre Womble announced to the other fifteen.
"We've finally completed it," they chimed together before turning to their queen.
"Our majesty how do you like it?,"
She looked up for a moment noting the look of desperation in her followers eyes, "Lovely," she muttered.
"all hail the queen," The Wombles bowed.
Um...
Kurotsuchi and her father the leader of the Let'-devision, were, you guessed it, jumping around landing in crouches ,summoning rocks as their squad name suggests. Hurray for rocks and Kurotsuchi, you go girl! Kick those Zetsu's asses! Kick 'em real good.
Oh and don't die.
0 0 0
Sand dunes, mountains, rocks, blazing hot sun beating down on a spicy red-head and an old bald man with a fancy ponytail, the old MTV playing on Kabu-maru's TV far off in the distance.
A fun time to be had by all.
Oonoki squinted at the half buried screen, "So this is rap," he stated slowly, looking to Gaara.
"Hm," The Kazekage nodded solemnly watching a gooey form bounce its way to the TV .
"Interesting,"
Out in the desert, was Kabu-maru, he fixed his glasses as he approached the screen, "I must obtain their power!," he ran his hand across the flickering image of bright colors.
Whoooooosh!
The water was full of ''Gooing'' Zetsu's, debris, kunai, shuriken , chips, saltines, gummibears, swimming knives there all in there, and standing near the shore was Kyuubi's Mistress and kyuubi's OTHER mistress.
"This blows, one second I was coolin' it up on the lesbian cloud and the next I'm here," Kinkaku snorted.
Ginkaku sweated nervously,"Y-yeah ,lesbian cloud...H-hey Kin, check out the tattoo he's the one who inherited the Second raikage's technique," he pointed out.
"That sounds impressive," Kin smirked.
"He summoned a kitten," Tango leaned out from behind Dasui.
"I told you not to mention that ever again!," He snapped, elbowing him in the stomach.
"Sorry," Tango gasped retreating back.
With him gone the cloud-nin sighed irritably, when something blue sticking out of a conflictingly green coverage caught his eye,"Are those leg warmers?," he blinked.
Leg warmers!
This entire chapter was a Random Time but fuck it you get one anyway
The table of important characters that aren't really all that important (except for 2) was nearly empty seeing as the Mizukage and Tsuchikage was gone, that meant it was quiet.
Sweet Peace.
Sort of.
"-But sir all we have is Tea!," A server said in a shaking voice.
A glared, "I said a Cinnamon dolce creme frappuccino and I meant a Cinnamon dolce creme frappuccino!," he barked.
Tsunade watched the two of them with a bored expression as she stroked TonTon behind the ears ,"He'll take the tea," she raised her voice just enough to catch both of their attentions but not seem like she was trying to pick a fight ( TEA? 'Them be fightin' words)
"Konohamaru," The young boy, who appeared out of nowhere much like Tango with Dasui, jumped in his seat, "Sakura," The pinkette did the same, "Go help him with Lord Raikage's tea," The lady hokage ordered in a forced kind tone.
"I have the authority of a seven year old girl," The Raikage raged slumping back in his chair, "I don't trust them with making popcorn,You're useless," he pointed to Sakura, "And you're dressed like a lady," he eyed the young Konohamaru strangely.
Kono looked down at the bright green and pink heart covered dress he was adorning, "It's not my fault i'm beautiful!," he crossed his arms stubbornly.
Tsunade sweated,"Boys," she grumbled.
"Oink,"
end
(1). A mini scyth-like weapon attached (by a chain or rope) to a forked weapon (Think of a short crowbar only strait) that was used for entering barred gates and in self defense, the forked end would be used to catch the sword of the enemy and they'd use the Tobiguchi to strike, on page 3 panel 4 one of the guard members has one.
(2) The Wombles (Furry ,Pointy nosed bird like muppets) were a UK broadcasted childrens show in the 1970's, they lived in burrows and cleaned up the planet ''Make good use of bad rubbish,''. Mentioning this cause, didn't think anybody would know what the hell they were.
Don't even ask I have NO idea what happened...
Unicorns fart rainbows, now you know, and knowledge is power! GI Jooooe. and I Thank you for reading, please review favorite whatever, JA NE~! [?]