A/N: First fanfic in a while, but I hope you like it!

Song: Face to Face, Daft Punk.

-x-

The same shit always happens.

Sorry for the profane, but I just can't take it anymore.

Tyler and his…his gang, or something. They stare at me every chance they get. Even if I notice them, they'll keep staring.

I wish this school would fucking do something about it. Jasper notices them as well, but then he'd get this stiff look on his face. As if he was holding his breath. I wonder if he knows what they're doing…or trying to do.

-x-

I closed my journal, and pushed it aside. Though, not too far where anyone could just snatch it up and read it without me breaking their arm off.

Jasper knew. He understood that I wrote in my journal every day. It was important to me to record everything and anything that happened each day. From the time that I was eleven to today's time, I've had that journal. It's just that then, I didn't really have much to write about. Then, I just stopped writing altogether when I turned fifteen. There was only one reason that I stopped writing: I was a fucking slut.

Having sex with different girls and guys. The only reason I did it was because I could point out people that were easy to pull at this crappy school. Life was just good for me at fifteen.

But then, it went downhill.

First, with my sister's death; Alice was the only person I could really trust and talk to. I told her everything, and we did everything together. She was my life; I loved her more than our own parents…

Second, I started doing drugs. I drank alcohol, sniff Crystal Meth, and smoke weed. I started getting bad grades, cutting school and crap.

"Hey," Jasper said to me, bringing me back to reality. "You okay hun?" he asked, looking at me and rubbing my shoulder gently. I just sighed and sat back, staring at Tyler's table. Jasper. My lover…I could trust him as well, just not as much.

I sighed and sank further into my seat. "Sure," I replied glumly. Just hold me, and I'll feel even better, I thought to myself, wishing he could hear. But if only we could do that without turning heads, though…without causing a disturbance and/or distraction. We didn't like the attention our relationship put us in, but we still loved each other regardless.

His gaze followed mine, and landed right in Tyler Crowley's face.

My gaze hardened, and so did my jaw.

He looked away from Tyler's strong gaze quickly, and rested his head on my shoulder. I just sighed and tried to relax a little bit, unclenching my jaw.

This was all because I was gay.

"Edward," he told me, looking at me. I saw him from the corner of my eye. "You can't always worry about what other people think about us. I know it's frustrating, but still."

Frustration wasn't even then word, Jazz. "But they bully me, Jasper. I live like, two blocks from Tyler's house, you know that. He'll like, roll past my house and just stare in my face, or laugh at me, or say 'Hey Gayward!' and then laugh as he drives off. The only people that love me and likes me for who I am are my parents, you, and Bella."

He groaned and rested his head in his hand. He never liked when I mentioned her around him. For some reason, he didn't like her. "Edward, come on. Not Bella. She's going to end up taking you from me."

I smiled and chuckled. He could be so dramatic at times for no reason; that was his funny side.

"Not unless you make it easy for me, Jazz," a very familiar voice said from behind me. I looked back, and smiled.

Bella. Sometimes I wondered how she could hear from to very far, but then I remember that she had "Super Sonic Hearing".

My smile faded into a line as I saw the person who accompanied her. Jacob Black was his name, and he disliked me the same way Tyler and his gang did. He was her boyfriend of five months. Bella didn't even know that he hated me, and he nor I never had the balls to tell her.

"Bitch," Jasper murmured under his breath.

"Hey Jazz, don't do that man. It's not cool. Something could happen, hmm?" Jacob said with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. He smiled.

Jasper looked at him, frowned and turned back around, resting his head in his hands. "Yeahwhatever," he said quickly – as if it were one word – and exhaled sharply.

When it came to stuff like this, I was worried about Jasper. Like…he knew Tyler and friends was planning something that had something to do with us. I didn't like it. But then, all of a sudden, I heard the sound again; that same sound that I heard at times like this. And the more often stuff like this happened, the louder it got.

The rain.

Even though it was only drizzling, I could hear it loud and clear; see it as if it was my eyelid. It was one of the many things that I was used to getting sick from, one of the things I knew like a second language.

You may not have known, but yeah – rain speaks as well.

Pitter patter, pit pit patter. Drip drop, droop drizzle, splash.

That's all you hear; that's all they're saying. You know now that they don't have much to say.

I sighed. I had wished for a long time that I could be a part of the rain. So calm, and carefree of everything. No one is there to judge you; everyone is alike in every single way. The way they fall gracefully through the trees… I loved it when it rained, even though at times it could be depressing.

"Eddykins?" Bella said in my ear. "You okay? What's going on?" Her hand rested on my shoulder, and she looked at me.

"Uh…" I droned, still staring off into space and shuffling my feet. I looked at Tyler and his friends again. Why did they look suspicious every day? Like they did something that they couldn't just apologize for… "Yeah, sure. I'm fine, thank you."

She sighed, looked down, and then nodded. "Um, okay, sure. Just…" She waited for a couple of seconds, and then she whispered in my ear and finished her sentence. "Please call me when you get away from Jasper, okay? I have to talk to you later. I'm worried. Love you." She kissed my cheek, looked at me, and then walked away with Jacob. Those last two words made my heart swell up in the most beautiful way. But when she told me what she had told me, she said it in the most cautious way…

"Edward…hey c'mon. You okay?" he asked. Well, I wasn't quite "okay". I was just tired, stressed, scared… When I turned to face him, he started kissing me roughly.

Right. In front of. Everybody.

He knew that whenever I felt like this, his kisses would make me better and cheer me up in certain ways. But why right in Tyler's face, though?

I couldn't concentrate on anything but him… It reminded me of the time we first kissed, and he said "I love you" to me. Those words meant so much coming from someone other than my mother or father.

He bit my lip, and I broke the kiss. Not that I didn't want to continue, it's just that things could get out of hand when we kissed like that. I licked my lips, and looked down at my hands. I probably even blushed. "Thanks," I told him. I knew people were staring at us, but why would I care? Well, of course there's Tyler and friends, but other than them. I looked back up, and I saw Jasper staring at them, nodding slowly.

I stared at him in confusion, and he looked back at me.

"Jazz—"

"I need to go to the bathroom anyway, Edward," he said, interrupting me. Obviously he was in a rush for something. I wanted to know, needed to know. I saw him walk away, through the double doors, and Tyler and friends followed like, twenty feet behind him exactly.

What the hell was going on?

I just sighed and rested my head on the table. This sucked.

I lost Bella to rich and bitchy Jacob; I never mentioned he was rich and bitchy, did I? So rich, he resides in a red barn house.

And I lost Jasper to Tyler and friends…and then Mike…no one knows where he is. We haven't seen him in about a week.

No one.

But suddenly, I felt a tiny finger poke me, and I turned around.

Renesmee. My little sister; annoying, eight year old. But that's how they come, and that's what I loved about her.

"Edward, mommy is picking you up early," she told me, and she sneezed in her arm and sniffled. Yep, she was sick.

"Hey kiddo," I replied, managing to smile. "You sound sick."

"Hey!" she exclaimed. "Nu-uh! I'm not sick!"

I chuckled. She hated being sick, and hated when anyone acknowledged she was. Her nose was puffy, snotty and red, as well as the rest of her face. As though she had a fever. But…"she wasn't sick".

I sighed and smiled again. "Okay Nessie. You're not sick. Where's Esme?" I asked. I was always forward with my parents, Carlisle and Esme, never calling them "Mom" or "Dad".

"In the office. She told me to come get you." She started searching the cafeteria with her eyes, turning her head this way and that. "Where's Jazzyper?" she asked. She had been calling him that since she was five (we had been together since we were fourteen). My guilty days….

"He… went to his science class. He had to take a test he'd missed," I told her uncertainly. I didn't like lying to her, but if I had told her where he really went, she would have wanted to wait for him.

"Oh," she said, looking down. "Well, mommy got your stuff already. Come on." She started tugging on my hand until I stood. As I walked on behind her, people stared. Probably from the kiss earlier. But I just kept walking until I reached Esme.

Esme…

My mother was stunning for her age. Long, brunette hair with the slightest hint of purple only I could see for some reason. She had the finest body figure, the most beautiful face… I felt guilty fantasizing about her.

"Edward, come on! Hurry, Nessie has a doctor's appointment and I have to go back to work!" she rushed out, tossing me my things and running, pulling Renesmee along. Esme is a wedding planner, so she probably had to meet six clients within the hour. She could also run fast in heels.

I ran after them, getting in the car. "I can stay home, right?" I asked after strapping in.

"Sure honey, whatever you want. Remember your father with be home in about an hour. Make sure the house is clean when he gets there."

Thank god, I have at least an hour to myself. "Okay, Esme.

-x-

A/N: Weird ending, yes. But they'll get better. Read and review!