So I had enough people express interest into making this one shot into a full blown story is a Mortal AU with Solangelo. This story came from an article I read about a sex therapist who has sex with patients who have issues with intimacy or even physical issues that keep them from being intimate. I'm not a doctor! This is fiction and this is a story I am making up just from the inspiration I read from an article. Don't like Don't read don't Hate! All Trolls will be ignored and sent home!
Trigger warnings for this story
-Mentions of Sexual assault
-Mature content
-Language
-Sexual content
Healing with Dr. Solace
So, I decided to take Reyna's advice, it had been long enough, and it was starting to get embarrassing. Every time I get to the point of getting intimate with someone I just can't do it, I have no control! Are they going to touch me to hard? Are they going to go to fast? I don't like not knowing and I have yet to learn how to read minds. My therapist and I already figured out that my past trauma that was not consensual is the root of this problem, but how do you fix that! My doc says that communication with my partner is the key, yet I don't let anyone get close enough to become my partner. So, Reyna wants me to see this guy that she met at a Women's health conference. We are having coffee, I don't even know what this guy does. Is he a doctor? Psych guy? All I know is that I am walking up to his personal apartment right now and he could be an axe murderer.
Knocking on the door I heard footsteps starting for the door before I could even hit the wood. A woman opened the door from the other side. With a quick nod she smiled at me and ducked away. A voice rang out from inside.
"Nico come in! Just sit in the living room anywhere you want!"
I closed the door behind me as I entered the roomy apartment. The color scheme was creams and cool blues with little touches of yellow, I liked it, it was nothing like me. I preferred my own space to be much darker in pallet, yet this whole area seems soothing and calming. My nerves were almost completely melted away which in its own way was unsettling. Looking into the living room I saw two large comfy chairs with footstools facing one another. Behind the chairs was a large king size bed with what I could only believe were fresh sheets from the waft of the fabric softener coming off the bed. Making my self comfortable in the big plushy chair I realized how small I was inside of it, yet I felt safe enclosed in its size. Steps started toward the area and I looked up to see what I could only describe as the most beautiful man I have ever seen. Over six-foot-tall with a golden tan and blue eyes, a spay of freckles strewn artfully across his skin. I had never experienced immediate physical attraction until this moment, usually I must get to know someone before I find them attractive.
So, it goes without saying that I haven't had a relationship before. Wearing a relaxed soft looking t-shirt and what I can only assume is navy blue yoga pants to match he strolled over to the other chair barefoot with the coffee in his hands.
"Reyna divulged that you hate coffee, so you have a really amazing hot chocolate for us. I was super happy to hear that because I also hate coffee, unless its in ice cream which I know is super weird. Sorry I go off on weird Segway's, I'm Will Solace." Handing me the cup I looked at the beautiful rich color of the contents and then back up into those blue Lapis orbs that had my heart pumping. If this guy is a doctor then I can't be his patient, I'm way to attracted to him.
"Yeah, so umm what is it that you do? Reyna didn't tell me she just said you could help me with a problem I have. "shifting awkwardly, I sipped at my hot chocolate willing myself to listen to him instead of just stare at his lips.
"Yes, Reyna had loose lips about your situation, I am sorry about that she shouldn't have been so candid about it but alas she told me things, but I would like to hear it from you."
"Damnit Reyna! Ok well since the cat is out of the bag I guess I wont dance around this. I was assaulted in high school. I won't go into detail, but it was sexual in nature and since then I haven't been able to bring myself to be physical with someone."
Nodding at me he waited a beat before responding as if he wasn't surprised. I swear that girl needs to know when to keep her mouth shut.
"Well, I met Reyna at the Women's health conference as I'm sure you know. I have a few different degrees. I am an MD psychiatrist and have a few different PHD's as well in various social fields. My therapy consists of seeing a patient for ten sessions and ten only. I teach sexual assault victims how to be intimate again. Obviously its not for everyone but it's a form physical therapy. I submitted several studies on the method I use, and I got it by the ethics board as long as I don't charge and keep it to ten sessions. "I almost choked on my drink at his words.
"So, you fuck people to heal them?"
"So crass, no. I teach people how to be intimate with their partners again. I usually work with couples. Only a few of my Patients are singles. Sometimes I am intimate with them safely and consensually. That's not always the case, the being physical part. I would never take advantage of someone. Plus, my patients are here of their own free will and may leave or stop session at any time. I require at least an hour with you at a time, but the sessions can go up to three hours at a time. "
"How do you make money if you don't charge?"
"I have grant money for research into this subject, if your case makes the research I will ask your permission and change your name and physical description. "
"So, you do this for women, why are you seeing me then?"
"To be fair my therapy is open to all Genders, how do you identify?"
"I'm a Cis Gay man. My pronouns are him, his, he."
"I can't tell you how happy I am that I didn't have to explain that to someone. I am a Cis Pansexual man with the same pronouns." He chuckled deep in his chest.
"Well, I learned a lot about it from Reyna. I'm also playing with the idea of Genderfluid."
"So, you don't always identify as male?"
"Not mentally all the time, I am still figuring it out."
"Well if you ever want me to refer to you in different pronouns just let me know and I will do that."
"Thank you, so how does this work?"
"Well first thing first, are you sexual? Like do you want to have a sexual relationship with someone one day? Do you experience physical and mental arousal?"
"Yes." I blushed at his words.
"Well we can either get started today or next session, some people need time to wrap their heads around it. If we get started today or next session, then we are going to lay down some simple ground rules and then we move to the bed if and only if you are comfortable with that. If not, we start right here in these chairs, but I do expect to move to the bed by session three. Then I'm going to lay on the bed fully clothed and I will allow you to do anything you want to me for thirty minutes. Then we switch it up and I touch you. I will not touch you sexually until you want me to if you ever want me to. "
"Wow, well….I wont lie I'm very skeptical about this, but I've also tried everything else and nothing seems to work so you are kind of my last resort. Ok I'll be a patient."
"How about this, we will do one session today and call me tomorrow if you want to continue. "
"Deal."
Moving over to the bed he laid down on the left side and put his arms under his head as he lounged like a lazy cat. Climbing onto the right side I began to shake a bit. I was too nervous for this. I started to scramble off the bed when he told me to wait. Reaching under the bed he pulled out and pair of handcuffs and placed his wrists in them. Attaching himself to the headboard I looked down at his body stretched out and realized what he was doing, he was giving me the sound mind that he can't touch me, can't hurt me.
"The safe words to use are the regular Red, yellow, and green. Red to stop, yellow to slow down or getting close to the limit, green means continue, and everything is fine. I see how nervous you are so instead of thirty-minute switch I'm just going to let you touch me for the whole hour. "
Its like he knew, he knew I couldn't do it without knowing he couldn't touch me.
"Ok so Safe words and I can touch you however I want."
"As long as you follow the safe words."
"Is anything off limits?"
"No water sports or scat stuff please."
"What?"
"Don't go to the bathroom on me."
"Oh, gods people do that!"
"Yes, so please don't."
"I won't, ewww."
I touched his arm first, examining his hands and the little blonde hairs on his arms, connecting the freckles in my mind to see if I saw any pictures. Within the first thirty minutes I touched him in the most neutral manner. Sometimes he would coo and moan slightly at a type of touch, but that's all the noise he made. We didn't talk, I'm happy we didn't talk it made this easier.
"Nico, would you like to touch me naked?"
"Is it a bad thing to say that I do want to?"
"Not at all, you can undress me to your comfort level and touch whatever you want."
"What's the point of this?"
"Sometimes its easier to touch someone else then have them touch you. Baby steps."
"Does this mean in other sessions we might be having sex?"
"Only if that's what you want. If all you want out of the ten sessions is to learn how to touch and be touched without being triggered than that's what we will devote this to. Everything we do Nico is your call."
I swallowed and started to pull the yoga pants off his legs to reveal baby blue briefs. Rolling his shirt up I placed it over his eyes as I revealed his muscled chest.
"I don't want you to look at me."
"Ok." He breathed in a heavy whisper.
Lightly I trailed my fingertips all over his torso. I loved the way he squirmed and writhed at the light touches. Trailing down his legs and finally settling on his hips. I loved the way his skin felt beneath my hands. I was enamored by him. My heart was beating so quickly, and my breath became erratic as he continued to push into my touch. Will Solace has this was of making you feel at ease touching his body yet at the same time making it the most erotic moment of my life. The pace of his breathing has changed too, I climbed on top of him fully clothed and straddled his thighs. Keeping my hands on his hips I lowered my head to set my ear against his heart. I had never seen in this position before. Laying on top of someone while they are half naked. My ear had never touched a bare chest to my recollection. Breathing him in the scent of Lemongrass and Bergamot filled my nose, damn he smelled good. Will looked good, smelled good, felt good, and for once I felt good. I felt…..Aroused.
Twisting my head, I kissed the middle of his sternum, he arched his back into me as I trailed the kisses over the expanse of his skin. Rubbing my face on the softness of the sparse body hair, I took in the feeling of radiating warmth from him into my cold body. It was like his warmth was thawing me, melting my frigidity. The shaking was back. It wasn't fear this time though, it was me being so turned on that my body didn't know how to react to it. Scooting my hips forward I started kissing at his neck, chaste yet lingers pecks and little nibbles that wouldn't leave marks or to much spit. Wills crotch was pressing hard against my own arousal. The feeling was slightly overwhelming, this beautiful man was turned on by me. Swallowing the bubble in my throat I reached up and drew his shirt off his eyes and to his wrists.
"Do you want me to see you now Nico?"
"Yes."
"Good, I want to see you too."
"Can I kiss you?"
"Yes."
As clinical as he was being I was getting harder at the thought of it. Brushing my lips against his I felt him roll his hips slow against mine. My breath hitched at the roll and opened slightly, at this he slipped his tongue into my mouth. Unlike a few other times I has kissed someone Will didn't try to choke me with his tongue or go so deep that he was counting my teeth. The tip of his tongue lightly swirled the tip of mine in a fine dance that matched the rhythm of our hips. I deepen the kiss slightly and he bucked into me in a way that made me moan into his mouth. Before I knew it, I was making out and grinding on top of a handcuffed stranger. If you would have asked me yesterday if this would be happening I would have slapped you and called you a liar, yet here I was. Sweat broke over both of us and I found myself grinding into him harder for more friction, then BAM! White light filled the room and a strong familiar pull to my gut spasmed. I felt Will still underneath me and let out a strained call of my name.
Catching my breath, I looked down between us to see that his Blue briefs where stained and wet. Holy shit we both just did that! We just… Just from making out!
"I'm so sorry I didn't, I mean I've never, Will I'm sorry I'm so so sorry"
With a click and movement of his thumb he escaped his cuffs.
"These are self-release cuffs, stop apologizing first of all, are you ok?" he took my hands in his as I found myself still straddling his lap. I wish I could have moved off him, but I couldn't bring myself to. ''
"I think so, I don't know."
"Did I make you uncomfortable?"
"No, I just… I've never done that. I've never cum with someone before. Like ever."
"Was it your first orgasm or just the first with another person?" he said still sort of out breath from the make out session.
"First with another person."
"Well, Nico I think if you let me I can help you with your problem. You are super receptive if you feel safe. I want to help you.
Shaking and feeling slightly weird with the mess in my pants I looked at him straight in the eyes. Will was serious and genuine and strangely enough I trusted him. I wanted him. I wanted to do things to him that I haven't thought about in years.
"I want you to help me too."
It was amazing how he knew how to move around me. Wills hands never left mine, never tried to touch me elsewhere. When I finally lifted off him I made my way back to the chair I was in previously. Putting his clothes back on he joined me once again sitting across from me.
"I'm really proud of you Nico. I didn't think you would go that far. I thought you might be more averse to touch."
"I am, usually. I don't really know what came over me to be honest."
"Well I'm going to put something out there, could it be because you are ready to take the next step to physical intimacy yet haven't found a way to. That me being handcuffed and unable to touch you helped? I think that maybe you are starved for intimacy and you found a perfect scenario and jumped at the chance to be able to express intimacy while feeling safe. That's ok. That's the point of this kind of therapy, to make you feel safe while feeling intimacy. I think we can get you to the point of having sex by the end of this journey, or at the very least you will have the tools to be able to get there eventually. Now I want you to call/text/email whatever me tomorrow and let me know if this is what you want to do. Take a night to sleep on it, or if in two nights you want to just let me know. I really do think we can get you there Nico."
"I want to think about it, I won't lie I am a little mortified at myself right now."
"I expected nothing less, most people are when they have a break through. If we are both being honest right now, you are my first patient that had a physical breakthrough the very first session."
"I am?"
"Yes, that's what really makes me feel like this can really work for you."
"Well, Ill call tomorrow and let you know."
Nodding at each other and he politely saw me to the door as I blushed the entire way. Rushing out of the building I ran all the way to my apartment instead of taking the bus or a taxi, to be fair it wasn't far, but it was far enough to want a form of transportation. Running up my three story walk up I threw my door open just to find Reyna sitting quietly on the couch with her lap top.
"Nico! How did it go!"
"I am not talking to you right now! I should put Nair in your shampoo!" I yelled while stomping off toward the bathroom to take a shower and strip myself from my cum stained underwear. Throwing the shower on I stepped inside as I heard the knock at the bathroom door.