Disclaimer: Don't own Fire Emblem Echoes, nor it's franchise, characters included.
Rating: T
As the disclaimer likely hinted at, this story is a mostly-canon what-if, with the only difference being a simple-but-major detail.
Nighttime
Ah, finally he has returned to this place... Zofia Castle, even though it's name be a remnant of when the One Kingdom was split.
Fighting in this land had only served to stir his memories, until they finally resurfaced, and now he remembers all the terrible things that had happened- including Nyna, who he previously loved. Sharing all this would just torture Tatiana, so already he was resolved to never tell her of these things, and this time he would not be parted from her for any reason, unless it was of the utmost importance.
However, just as he turned a corner-
"Ah!" - "Oh!"
"I'm sorry, I did not-" Ezekiel started, only to recognize Celica- then he instantly dropped to one knee, having been told of her new status. "Ah, Your Highness. Forgive me."
After a moment, she let out a small giggle, adjusting in front of him. "Please, you can stand" she assured him. "It's okay. Although I will admit it's surprising to see you again like this, Ezekiel."
"I have only just returned" he said, straightening; she certainly was kind, as he'd heard. "I thought it proper to report my journey, the developments I have witnessed."
Celica gave a small smile, though she then glanced behind her. "Well, I fear you'll have to sleep here overnight; many of the castle's occupants have already turned in, and I myself was about to."
Hmm, so he is that manner of late; very well.
"If I may ask, Your Highness, could you help me with my accommodations?" Ezekiel asked, formally. "I would hate to impose on anyone's hospitality, but if necessary, I can make do with the most meager of arrangements."
She shook her head. "You won't have to" Celica assured. "I'll be glad to put in a word for you. Still, I am curious; have your memories returned at all, in the time since you left the One Kingdom?"
Various emotions rose in his chest, and he slowly glanced off, hoping his expression hadn't darkened too much. "I would prefer not to answer, milady."
"...so you do remember."
Almost in an instant, he turned toward her. "Please, you cannot tell Tatiana of this" he insisted- perhaps forgot himself a little, but at the moment he didn't notice. "I will do anything you ask in exchange for silence, milady. I beg of you."
If Celica was surprised about his request, she didn't show it- if anything, she just held her hands together, seeming more inwardly-focused now. "Is your reason because you don't wish to burden her?" she asked, not minding the breach in protocol.
"Among others, yes."
"Don't you think that's wrong?"
Ezekiel sighed, closing his eyes- in his mind, he could see Tatiana quite clearly. "I doubt it's particularly right" he admitted, heavier. "But that being said, I would choose to hide the knowledge from Tatiana so that she need not worry about me. If she thought I could choose my past life over her at any time, now that I remember, she would not smile as she does; I could not bear that."
"But she already worries about you, Ezekiel" Celica answered, a bit more intent. "Even now, we've talked a number of times. She worries about you regaining her memory, and despite my assurances, I believe some part of her thinks that it would be 'only right' if you returned to them, and would even let you. She thinks she must be a selfish, awful person for hoping that you never do remember."
Those words were like something stabbed him. "What?" he breathed, horrified...
Her eyes closed. "I understand your wanting to keep this from her, in consideration of her feelings" she continued, before a touch of sadness appeared. "And if you still decide not to tell Tatiana, I won't say a word, Ezekiel. But there is something else I think you should hear, in consideration of this choice. It's something I often repeat to myself, trying to ease my own personal flaw."
He registered those words, but said nothing.
"Alm once told me of a statement Kliff said to him, during the war" Celica started, opening her eyes again-
While his heart remained weighed down by what he'd heard, his mind was still on point - despite it being years ago, he recalled Kliff was the rather-cynical mage who departed Valentia, wishing to see the world.
-"He said this to Alm, indirectly regarding me: 'When you think about it, it's kind of selfish. To keep another's secret is a sign of strength and trust. But when we hold our own secrets in, we're only judging everyone else. "You can never understand," we think.'"
"..."
That conversation echoed inside his head long into the night - even hindering his sleep - yet the revelations and the thoughts it provoked, he wouldn't have traded for anything. It took him awhile to decide upon his previous commitment to never reveal this to Tatiana, but finally he reached it, determined to confront and erase his love's worries. He had always known that she was a bit insecure, but if she were truly convinced of such things, he would do away with them even if it meant revealing everything... but if nothing else, he will prove his beliefs to her. In fact, with Queen Celica's personal help - for which he will forever owe her - he intended to make sure Tatiana knew that he would never choose his previous life, or his previous lover Nyna, over her.
He believed in their love, but he still secretly hoped she did not ask for more than the most basic details.
Several days later
When he finally arrived at the village, he took a moment to look over it, taking in the sights again- he definitely felt strange. Ezekiel supposed it would become familiar again in no time, but for now he has been away too long... gently, he dismounted from his steed and had them walk forward at a steady pace.
Not long after he met with the watchmen, he saw her familiar, long green hair-
-she was gently playing with some children, seemingly watching them while their parents were busy.
The sight made him smile, even as he continued toward the stables, his presence thus far having gone unnoticed, and he did not mind in the slightest. Still, he made sure to provide food and water for his steed as a reward, gently stroking his muzzle all the while... then one of the kids seemed to wander this way, for he soon started calling for the other kids' attention, saying things like 'it's the general!' and 'he's back!'.
In fact, this got dear Tatiana curious, as he could hear her voice coming this way, trying to get the other kids to come back; he gained a small smile. "Go on, keep playing" she said at the entrance, just as he turned around - she was about to say something else, before she saw him and froze with a gasp.
"Tatiana" he breathed, gentle yet full of many emotions.
"Zeke" she whispered, before she began to shake- her eyes grew soft-yet-teary, and it was with a smile that she walked/half-ran toward him. "Oh, my dear Ezekiel! You've- you've returned to me!"
Ezekiel met her embrace with no hesitation, lightly digging his hands into her lush hair. "Just as I promised. I would never break my word to you."
Tatiana sniffled against him, but her grip remained reassuring. "I knew you wouldn't, but still, I missed seeing you so much... please, might we return home this very moment?"
"What about the children you're looking after?"
"Oh- that's right. I still have to watch them for awhile longer."
A slight, warm chuckle. "Then please, keep doing so" he breathed, sincere. "I'll go home and relax from my journey. When you are finished, you can join me and we'll share a repast."
"That sounds lovely" she agreed, pulling back slightly- she started to lean up on her tip-toes, cheeks pinker.
He instantly, gladly closed the distance between them; he'd missed these sensations.
/
Home; later
Tatiana hurried home, her heart still feeling butterflies at Ezekiel's return- it's been so long.
Her joy had been infectious; several of the people she worked with had noticed her demeanor, and when they learned it was because of Ezekiel's return, they'd instantly said she could go home. It took them awhile to convince her, but when it became clear they weren't going to be denied, she'd thanked them and ran off- oh, she hoped she wasn't too early, and that Ezekiel wouldn't still be in the middle of taking a bath.
That kind of sight would fluster her to no end!
She shook her head, a little embarrassed at the thought before she came within sight of her home- ah, finally! Quickly, she went up to the front door and pushed it open, and after taking a few steps forward, only then remembered to close it and lock it, but she quickly forget about her own little misstep.
"Zeke?" she called softly, slipping off her shoes-
-"In here" came his voice, then it gained a softer edge. "You're early, Tatiana."
Feeling warmer, she quickly hurried into the other room, where Ezekiel was setting up the table even as the hearth was lit, and he glanced at her with a little smile. Tatiana returned it well, the butterflies in her stomach getting stronger: "As soon as I told the others, that you'd returned, they insisted that I go home to you" she whispered. "I didn't have the ability to resist this kindness for long."
"Nor should you have" he answered gently, briefly glancing at the hearth, before his demeanor seemed to change a little. "Still, perhaps it is best."
"What do you mean?"
"Tatiana, I would tell you the reasons why I had to leave. Would you rather we share that repast together first, or afterward?"
Her heart beat faster, and no longer because of the warmth; now she worried a bit, many thoughts jumping to the fore of her mind, and her hands came together to reflect this. "I..." she breathed then, struggling before some part of her seemed to steel, because she hadn't any reason to worry yet. "I think that- that I would prefer it being before we eat, Ezekiel. Eating first would just make me even more- more curious the entire time, and I'd be distracted."
So she said while struggling to keep down her worst fears.
She missed it, but Ezekiel's glance at her showed numerous things, including - though she wouldn't have realized - his new viewpoint on her words. "Very well" he said then, slowly pulling up a chair. "Please, let us sit."
More unconscious than anything, Tatiana did the same, smoothing her clothes' fabric after the fact- Ezekiel didn't say anything.
The crackling of the hearth's was the only sound for several seconds.
"Tatiana."
"Yes?"
Ezekiel sighed, very heavily. "I told you years ago that I was leaving for an important mission, something I had to do, but I did not tell you much more than that" he stated, with a bit of struggle himself. "I will tell you now... it's because my- my memories had returned, after the war."
Just like that, her heart sank like a stone, and the butterflies disappeared from her stomach... she barely noticed that her head had lowered...
"...oh."
Because of her state, she didn't see Ezekiel look at her, expression struggling, but his words still came: "I had overheard tales from the Whitewing sisters, about events in Archanea; terrible things were happening. I knew I had to go back, to help right things, but also knew that I had to do so discreetly. That is why I had to go back, and I'm glad I made a difference."
The words came without any thought, or seemingly any life: "And now you're back... to tell me things can't be the same."
"Absolutely not!"
Tatiana nearly jumped out of her chair; Ezekiel had nearly yelled that, far more forceful than he normally was, and she was left staring at him. For a moment her small, instinctive fear from his yell was at the fore, until she was struck by the intensity of his gaze... and the hurt that was evident as well.
His breathing was heavier, gaze still intense. "The fact that I remember my past life changes nothing" he said, with many emotions underneath. "Everyone I knew back in Archanea believes I'm dead, and have made peace with that; I have no wish to change that perception. My life is here now, in Valentia, and with you; you have absolutely nothing to fear. Even in the future, if I would wish to visit Archanea again, it would only be because of events that transpire there, so that I might keep things from taking a turn for the worse."
"I... I..."
"Tatiana."
She stopped- her vision blurred a little, mostly from tears.
His intensity scaled back somewhat, and he let out a breath. "When I regained my memories, I intended for you to never learn the truth. I thought that burdening you with them would be cruel, and only make you worry needlessly" Ezekiel spoke, before his mouth twisted. "Yet as I learned from Queen Celica, you were already worrying about such things... even to the point that if I wished to return to my past life, you would allow me to."
At that moment, Tatiana didn't know what to feel- part of her might've been... maybe annoyed at Celica for telling Zeke her fears, but she couldn't bring herself to feel that way. And more importantly, her heart still felt so heavy at the fact that his memories had returned, yet it's also trying to realize that Zeke knew, but still wanted to be with her.
She should be happy about that, relieved even.
But her heart hadn't gotten there yet.
"I- I thought that it'd- it'd only be fair" she whispered, shaky.
"Perhaps it would have been fair for other lovers" Ezekiel breathed, looking at her... now his gaze no longer hid anything. "But hearing those words felt like I had been stabbed, even if it were not from your own mouth."
Just as the tears threatened to fall, not wanting him to have known her deepest fears, he stood up, which barely stopped them- Tatiana slowly watched as he came over to her. Just then he bent down beside her, making her closer to his level, whereupon he briefly hesitated... then his hand lightly caressed her cheek, gentle and loving.
She unconsciously leaned against it, feeling that he's so forgiving.
"You are extremely kind, Tatiana, and I admire that about you" he whispered, not without effort, yet he smiled and didn't stop caressing her cheek. "But please, do not think such things. Think of your own wants in this case, as I wish you to; having a few selfish desires does not make you a sinner, but a person. And just so you're aware, I myself feel that I do not deserve an angel such as yourself... yet I still would not leave your side."
The tears finally fell, feeling so much that she couldn't speak-
-Ezekiel just moved closer, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss, one she instinctively returned in an instant.
/
A fair while later
It was good that Ezekiel was preparing dinner; she still felt so much in her chest that she wouldn't have been paying attention, and thus the food would've burned to a crisp easily. As it was, the meat was cooked well and deliciously seasoned, and the fruits/vegetables were all cut, if with some moderately-uneven strokes; she did not mind in the slightest, and even thought it cute how his knife strokes were inexperienced. In fact, the simple act of eating helped her calm down even more, though their kisses had also done wonders ... but it would take time for all this to settle. Ezekiel remembered everything, and out of duty had gone back to Archanea to help his country, but dare she even ask for the details?
She didn't know... but, she did wish to know a few things...
"Truly, it's delicious" Tatiana eventually whispered, gentle. "You've learned well."
He swallowed his portion, and his lip curved. "You're still quite ahead of me, in that regard" he answered, simply sincere. "But I suppose it is because of practice. As a soldier, I have been content with far less, and so the intricacies of fine cooking are above my expertise. I feel lucky to have done this well of a job."
Her heart felt warmer from his compliment, and she took a moment to just admire the man he is, again... until:
"Zeke?"
"Yes, Tatiana?"
"...since you remember, would you mind if- if I asked about it?"
Ezekiel briefly paused, but his expression didn't change much; he looked like this was to be expected. "You can" he answered, glancing at her. "But before you might do so, I want to make a few things clear."
Feeling her heartbeat go up again, Tatiana looked at his face for awhile, nodding.
A brief twitch, but his lip did curve. "Truth be told, I would rather you not ask any questions" he admitted, if gentle. "For the simple reason that my past life is, well, in the past; it is not part of my life here in Valentia, and does not need to be unless necessary. But I also trust you more than anyone, Tatiana, and so if you truly wish to know, I will answer any questions you have. Be they a thousand, a few, or even merely one, I will give them, in as much or as little detail as required. And even if you do not ask questions today, but save them for the future, I will answer them then too under the same guidelines."
Her hand unconsciously moved over her own heart, feeling a smile come on as he spoke, though she still felt a bit uneasy. "If- If Queen Celica told you about my fears" she admitted, glancing down. "Then she must have also urged you toward those words."
"No" Ezekiel stated simply, lifting her head in surprise. "She did not tell me to do anything. Merely told me things she thought I needed to hear, and gave me new insights on the matter; I decided things from there." He lightly fingered his chicken piece, before eating a piece. "They were quite invaluable. In particular, I learned that keeping secrets is considered tantamount to not trusting someone... and that is as far removed from how I feel about you, as the sun is from the land. In fact, I- I would wish our love to be stronger, not weaker."
"Ooh, Zeke" Tatiana nearly swooned, flustered and embarrassingly-pleased by his praise.
His cheeks had reddened somewhat, but he did smile from his place. "It is the truth. As is what else I have told you."
It took her a few seconds, but she remembered their food and quickly kept eating- luckily it remained quite warm, like her feelings. Still, because of the latter, she wasn't sure what to say for a long while... or maybe, she was so focused on what she'd learned, and thus was deciding what to do. So Ezekiel had intended for her to- to never have learned that his memories returned, simply because he didn't wish to burden her, to make her worry; that sounded just like him. But because he found out that she worried anyway - thanks to Queen Celica, who she must talk to about this - he'd decided to let her know anyway, if with this unique way of going about it.
And if she truly wanted to know, despite his wish that she not ask, he would respect it.
The warmth only got stronger, even as she made her decision.
"I guess that- that I'd start with a few questions" Tatiana admitted, trying not to worry again. "Simple ones, of course."
Currently eating a morsel, Ezekiel did not vocally respond, but there was a dip of his head to show that he'd heard- and also that he's prepared.
"What was your birth name, Zeke?" she asked after several seconds, hesitant.
Ezekiel barely paused. "Camus" he answered, before his lip curved. "And before you wonder, I still prefer Ezekiel, and your diminutive."
Camus- a different type of name for certain, but not too different, leading her to smile.
"You said you were discreet when you- when you revisited Archanea. Did you disguise yourself?"
"Yes; I called myself Sirius then. In addition to a mask, and the belief that Camus was dead, everyone did not suspect a thing."
"I see. But also... umm... w-was there a woman for you, before?"
A long period of silence, during which her gaze was down...
Eventually: "There was" he said, heavier. "But when she asked 'Sirius' about Camus, I told her he was dead, just as she believed. And if ever she were to find me here, by some twist of fate, I think she would have to accept that I'm 'off-limits', as they say."
That lifted her head, heart beating faster in several ways - he had encountered his former lover yet still chose to come back here, to her, and even said such a thing. "Oh, wow... but, what if you decide later that-?"
"No" Ezekiel interrupted, jolting her - however, his expression wasn't displeased, and his hand just dove inside a pocket. "Whatever it is you were going to ask, that is my answer, Tatiana. I have chosen you, and I will never be tempted to choose Archanea, or anyone from there, over my life here with you... and perhaps this will convince you of that."
By the time he finished, his hand had placed two objects in the middle of the table, in plain sight- simple gold rings. Forged into the outside of both were a single word, if different for each one: 'Ezekiel' on the left, and 'Tatiana' on the right.
The sight took her breath away, and made her mind go completely blank for a time...
Again his cheeks had reddened, mouth working, but his experience at composure helped him considerably. "My claims are not just words" Ezekiel breathed, soft and gentle, if somewhat halting. "At least, it is my hope that you will help make them a reality. If you would have me-"
"You're proposing to me."
The words left her mouth without a thought, breathless and full of wonder.
Ezekiel was slightly surprised, but managed a small smile. "Well, yes" he answered after a moment, more awkward yet sincere. "I-I mean, I imagine you've been-"
He trailed off upon noticing that she'd stood up- Tatiana wasn't consciously aware that she'd done so, or what happened next, that being that she'd kissed him hard. Ezekiel clearly did not mind, as after the surprise wore off he returned the favor, holding her against him after she'd 'thrown herself' at him, hands moving through her hair even as hers gripped the back of his head.
...
By the time Tatiana let go, Ezekiel was nearly panting for air, but then again so was she- even as she lay there against him, half-sitting in the chair, it took him a moment to regain his wits. One glance told him that their food was still there, just as they had left it, and he briefly regretted that they'd lost their warmth in all these events... still quite edible, but a lost opportunity.
Then his gaze lingered over the rings, just sitting there...
A distinct burst of warmth and nervousness reappeared, having remembered how Queen Celica presented them to him as a gift- despite his protests, she'd said she'd gotten plenty such trinkets from the nobles as-of-late. And because she'd insisted, he had thanked her and took them, even as she mentioned that he could take them to the blacksmiths, who were capable of precision work... knowing his own status with finer tools, such as kitchen knives, he had agreed.
In his embrace, Tatiana stirred. "Zeke..."
Stirred out of it, Ezekiel turned his gaze back, though he didn't remove his hands from her hair.
"I'm sorry" she whispered, fainter- his brow furrowed a bit. "For- for keeping my feelings to myself. I just... I didn't... I really wanted you to stay here, with me. But I thought I was being selfish for feeling that way, because it wouldn't be fair to those you left behind- and to tell you would just mean burdening you. It felt like I didn't deserve you... but I couldn't say that, because if I did, you might have actually left."
"And so this cycle continued" he thought, understanding where these fears came from- in a way, his thoughts had been similarly-inclined. Even still, he moved his hand down and gently lifted her chin, getting her to face him... her face was semi-streaked with tears, but she wasn't shaking...
"For keeping things to ourselves, we are both at fault, Tatiana" Ezekiel breathed, gentle. "I too apologize for not telling you, even if I thought it was for good reasons. But the important thing is that we love each other, and want to be together."
Her eyes shone a little, but then she smiled- a knot of tension in his gut unraveled at the sight.
"Yes" she breathed, hiccuping. "Absolutely, my dear Ezekiel."
He simply smiled, before motioning his head toward the rings. "Would you also care to do the honors?"
At that, her smile became even brighter, more tears falling out of happiness.
"It would be my pleasure."
So yeah, in canon Zeke did never tell her, but I wanted to explore the idea behind what might get him to actually tell her, and the answer came as interference from Celica, and indirectly Alm :P
But mainly, I wanted to give a little more love to this pairing, and I'm pretty sure I did that much hehe.