Luffy couldn't be happier. Even if it was just a small rowboat and one crew member, his first step to becoming king of the pirates was underway. And he was currently annoying his crewmate, Zoro, with his constant singing.
"Oh, I just can't wait to be kiiiiiing-"
"Luffy, shut up." Zoro rolled his eyes. "Remind me never to let you drag me to any theatre again."
"But Zoro, I'm excited!" Luffy whined. "I'm finally starting a crew! It's the first step to my dream!"
"Well dream to yourself." Zoro replied. "Keep it down so I can sleep." Luffy pouted and continued singing under his breath. After a while, he stopped. "Hey! There's an island!"
"Better stop there. We're running out of food and booze." Zoro replied, not opening his eyes.
"All right! Full speed ahead!" Luffy shouted.
"...We're already going full speed, captain." Zoro said flatly as the boat drifted at a leisurely pace.
"...Oh."
Zalo slowly opened his eyes as he woke up from his sleep. He yawned and stretched. "Huh...Shenron hasn't been here in a while." He said. "I wonder if he found any crewmates...It's been two years since I saw him... Wonder what he's doing..." He looked at the clock on his wall. "Huh...Guess it's time to get out of bed..." He sat up...then immediately lied back down. "Nah. No point getting up... My head's hurting anyway..." He pulled the blankets back up to his chin. Then he heard a knock at his door... He groaned and tried to tune it out, but it got more insitant. "Fine! I'm coming!" He shouted.
Minutes beforehand...
"Hi!" Luffy said as he stepped into the island's marketplace. "Got any meat?"
"Yep! I got the finest meat on the island here!"
"And the only meat on the island from the looks of it." Zoro said.
"Hey, just because it's the only meat on the island doesn't mean it's not the best!"
"There's literally no competition, of course you're the best on the island-"
"Anyway! Have some meat, travellers! Free of charge!"
"...You're a GREAT businessman." Zoro said flatly. "Any chance of free booze?"
"Eh, sorry, I don't have any booze. Try Jerry down the street, he's too drunk to care if you just take it." Zoro grinned and went off to get his alocoholic fix.
Luffy was cramming all the meat into a large burlap sack he carried. "Thanks for the meat!" He said.
"I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD TAKE ALL OF IT!" The shopkeep yelled.
"EVERYBODY RUN! HE'S DOING IT AGAIN!" Luffy blinked, tilting his head in confusion.
"AGAIN?!" The shopkeeper exclaimed. "WHAT IS IT THIS TIME?!"
"I-It's terrible..."
"What is it?!"
"It's horrible... FLOATING ROCKS!"
"Hahaha! Rocks don't float, dummy!" Luffy laughed. The woman turned to him.
"Y-You don't know?" Luffy frowned and tilted his head again.
"Know about what?"
"The terrible monster that lives on this island!"
"A monster?! COOL!" Luffy said. "I'll go beat it up!"
"Oh, THANK YOU, GREAT SIR!" The woman said, bowing before Luffy. "You are our saviour..."
"So what kind of monster is it?" Luffy asked, slamming his fist into his palm.
"A TERRIBLE monster with weird powers!" The woman said.
"What's he look like?" Luffy asked.
"Well, one of us, really." The woman replied. "But it's all a trick, don't believe it!"
"What kind of powers does he have?"
"We're not exactly sure...But he can make things float and explode. Even people!" Luffy's eyes widened, then he grinned/
"THAT'S SOOOO COOOOOOOOL!" He shouted.
"ANYWAY, traveller, if you want to fight this monster, he lives in the house on the cliffside over there." Luffy's grin widened.
"I don't wanna fight him! I wanna make him part of my crew!" Everyone in the vicinity froze and snapped their heads over to look at Luffy in shock. The shopkeep finally spoke up.
"Now be careful what you say, friend!" He said. "He's killed people!"
"Really? Why?" Luffy asked.
"We don't know."
"...HEY ZORO! STOP DRINKING AND GET OVER HERE! WE'RE GETTING A NEW CREWMATE!"
"Kay." Zoro called back. "Just give me an...hour."
"NO, WE'RE GOING NOW!"
"Go by yourself, I'm busy!"
"FINE! I WILL!" Luffy laughed gleefully as he ran in the direction of the house.
Present time...
"HEY! OPEN THE DOOR! COME ON! LET ME IN!" Luffy shouted. The door slowly opened, and a man with shaggy long hair, utterly hollow eyes, and a pair of two-piece pajamas.
"What?"
"Hi! I'm looking for a monster! Have you seen one?" The man stared at Luffy for a moment, then closed the door on him. Luffy blinked. "...Sir?!"
Zalo sighed and went to sit in his armchair. He was awake now, no sense going back to sleep... "SIR!" Zalo scowled at the sound of the yelling 17 year old outside his house. "Go home already..." He muttered with his deadpan voice.
1 hour later...
Zoro had finally had his fill of alcohol, and he was carrying enough to last him at least a month in two large barrels. He saw Luffy standing outside a house and noticed the bag of meat he had. He frowned.
"Luffy, we can't take that much meat with us on that tiny boat." Zoro said flatly.
"Yeah we can. If we can take that much alcohol on the ship, we can take this much meat."
"...Touche. What are you doing, anyway?"
"I'm trying to get this guy to tell me where the monster is."
"...Uh...Luffy? I think the guy IS the monster." Luffy frowned.
"Huh? How do you know that?"
"Because there's a big sign on the side of his house that says "Beware the Monster" in graffiti."
"Ooooooooh." Luffy said in understanding. "Well can you help me get him to talk to me?"
Three seconds later, the door was cut into three neat pieces. Zalo didn't move from his chair, staring forward with an utterly impassive look on his face.
"...My brother made that door. He was quite proud of it. And now you've gone and wrecked it. So what do you want? You want to kill me or something? ...Fine. Whatever. I don't even care anymore." Luffy laughed.
"Hahaha! You're really funny! No, I want you to be my nakama!"
"...Straw hat boy say what now?"
"What's your name?"
"I go by a few names. Monster, freak, abomination..."
"What's the name your parents gave you?" Zoro asked.
"Mistake. My birth parents gave me the name Mistake since the day of my birth, since they hated me since the day of my birth. My ADOPTED parents, bless their souls, gave me a proper name. It's Zalo."
"Zolo?"
"Call me that again and die." Zalo replied, still not conveying any form of emotion.
"Well, Zalo..." Luffy began. "Wanna turn this world upside down with me?"
"...No."
"But-"
"No. I have my own things to do in life. I'm kinda waiting for someone to come home, and I can't be spending my time running around with you and your friend over there doing whatever the hell it is you do."
"But-"
"Luffy, lay off him. If he doesn't wanna come, leave him alone."
"See, your friend's smart." Luffy sighed.
"Well...Bye then..." He said quietly. Wordlessly, the two pirates left, and Zalo got to work putting his door back.
"...You're not giving up, are you?" Zoro asked once the two were out of earshot. Luffy laughed.
"Nope!"
"Great...Guess we're staying the night at an inn." Zoro sighed. "Guess it's better than that damn boat..."
"Hey, I like the boat!" Luffy pouted.
"Whatever...Let's go already..."
Zalo sighed as he finished reattaching his door. "Great...Guess I'll read or something..."
The next day...
Zalo woke up with a groan. Another headache...Those damn devil fruit powers... Why couldn't he control it? Sighing, he got out of his bed. He needed to "purchase" some more aspirin... Guess it was time to head out into that stupid town he called "home" again...
Meanwhile...
Luffy was the first to wake up. "MORNING, ZORO!" He shouted in his friend's ear, causing him to yell in surprise and fall off of his bed.
"DAMN IT, LUFFY!" He snapped.
"What? I was just waking you up..."
"Whatever...I'm awake now, might as well go into town..."
"YEAH!" Luffy cheered. "I still need to find a way to get the monster guy in my crew!"
"Yeah, yeah, let's go already." Zoro got to his feet grudgingly, upset about his slumber being interrupted.
Back to Zalo...
"GET OUT OF OUR TOWN, FREAK!" A child shouted as he threw a tomato in Zalo's direction.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah..." Zalo muttered, a bag of stolen food items and medical supplies in hand. "I'm going already, piss off."
"Hey it's you!" Zalo turned at the familiar voice.
"Oh great...You guys again..."
"Have you thought about my offer yet?" Luffy asked.
"Yeah. For about two seconds, and I came to my final decision."
"What is it?"
"You sure you're ready for this? After I tell you, there's no changing my mind."
"I'm ready!"
"It's still no."
"WHAAAAAT?! COME ON, LET'S GO BE PIRATES TOGETHER!" Zalo stopped.
"Hmm...Pirate, huh? Question for you then, 'pirate...' Have you seen a man by the name of Dragon Co D. Shenron?"
"Who?" Luffy asked.
"Might have heard the name in a book or something..." Zoro replied.
"Well, never mind then. Later." Zalo walked away, a small smile on his face. "Heh...My bro's in a book...That's pretty cool." Luffy and Zoro stared after Zalo's retreating form, frowning.
"...We should follow him." Luffy said.
"Okay..." Zoro replied with a shrug.
Zalo was walking down the street, still lost in thought, and suddenly found himself surrounded by a whole bunch of villagers, all armed with various weapons. He sighed.
"Is it that time again?" The obvious ringleader of the mob stepped up to him, eyes narrowed.
"The only reason you've survived this long is because of your brother's good name here." He spat. "But that's not enough to keep you alive anymore. We can't take you anymore. Either get out, or we'll kill you."
"Look, you're the ones causing all the big issues here. I'm perfectly content to just stay home, mind my own business, come into town every now and then to get the things I need to...y'know, live and stuff, and you'd be living safe and happy. But no, instead you choose to live in fear of me when I have no intention of doing anything to any of you." Zalo said, eyes narrowed in annoyance. "Besides, you do this every week, and you never succeed. What makes this time any different?" The ringleader smirked.
"Because the government gave me something special." Zalo stiffened at the mention of the government. Damn them...
"Oh yeah? And what would that be?"
"Ever heard of sea stone bullets?"
"Damn...Well, you got me then. Go ahead. Kill me. See what happens when Shenron comes home."
"We'll deal with him later." The villager replied. "Now time for the main event..." Zalo sighed and closed his eyes, painting a metaphorical X on his chest.
"Well, go for it. Give me your best shot. I can take it. Just shoot away."
"With pleasure." With an absolutely evil grin, the villager pulled the trigger, launching the bullet.
'Well, here's hoping heaven exists.' Zalo thought, waiting for the bullet to make its mark...
SHING!
Zalo opened one eye and frowned when he saw a certain green-haired swordsman crouched in front of him, poised in a position that clearly signified he had swung his sword. The bullet lay at his feet, sliced neatly in two.
"...I kinda wanted to die, really..."
"Well too bad. My captain's interested in you, so you're gonna live whether you like it or not."
"What if I decide to throw myself into the ocean? What then?"
"Then I'll drag your ass back out."
"Huh...What if I stab myself in the throat with one of those swords when you're not looking?"
"Thing is, you'll never get to my swords, even if I'm not looking."
"Knives are still a viable option."
"I'll cut those up too." Zoro and Zalo exchanged a grin.
"...I think I like you, swordsman."
As they talked, they heard a loud voice.
"Gumo-Gumo no...BAZOOKA!"
Suddenly, from off in the distance, a pair of arms shot forward, stretching as if made of rubber, and then slamming into two people in the front of the mob, sending them flying back and crashing into the people behind them. Zalo and Zoro both turned to see Luffy, eyes narrowed dangerously, as he stepped up to confront the mob.
"What are you doing to my crewmate?!" He snapped.
"I'm NOT your crewmate, guy-" A villager ignored Zalo's half-hearted protest.
"We're taking care of the demon!"
"What did he do that's SO BAD?!" Luffy snapped.
"He killed some people!" Zalo interrupted.
"Yeah, by accident. And those were a bunch of low-down crooks who killed someone...really important right in front of my face. Please forgive me for losing my sh*t and unintentionally causing the deaths of people who, quite frankly, deserved it."
"There! Why should you hate him now?"
"Well his powers are different. It makes him a FREAK!"
"Really? I'm a freak, yet Shenron gets a free pass? That's what I'm getting out of this..."
"Shut it, nerdy!" One of the villagers snapped.
"Oh, yeah, then there's the walking mountains of meat who pick on me for being scrawny and wearing glasses..."
"MOUNTAIN OF MEAT?! WHERE?!" Luffy exclaimed.
"Figure of speech, Luffy." Zoro replied.
"Aww..." Luffy whined.
"Well...Well...I don't know, it's...It's just...He can't control his devil fruit! We don't want him hurting anyone in the village! We're scared, okay?! At least Shenron can control his powers! And because of that, he became the town hero!"
"Well, I would LEARN to control my powers, if I had a training ground or something to use!" The villagers looked down shamefully. Zalo sighed. "I forgive you..."
"Huh?!" All of the villagers exclaimed.
"I'll forgive you because I'm not gonna be here any longer."
"What do you mean?" A male villager asked.
"Well, I do have a captain to follow now."
"Really? Who?" Luffy asked. Zalo looked at the straw-hatted pirate in disbelief.
"...Uh...YOU, you dumbass..." He said flatly.
"He IS a dumbass, isn't he?" Zoro agreed.
"Heeeeey!" Luffy pouted. The mob's ringleader approached.
"Well...To apologize for what we've done...We may not have any real...ships around, but we do have some decently sized boats around here that you're welcome to."
"Oh. Thanks. That's cool." Zalo replied.
Zoro was holding a kayak, large enough to hold about six people, over his head, as Luffy and Zalo walked ahead of him.
"So...You don't seem too excited to have me on board," Zalo said.
"Well, I knew you'd join anyway!" Luffy said with a smile. Zalo chuckled.
"Wow, you're like the most optimistic person I know." He said. "Well...Make that second..."
"Eh? Who could be more optimistic than LUFFY?" Zoro exclaimed.
"Just some guy I know." Zalo replied with a small smile.
"Let's head out to sea!" Luffy exclaimed. "Oh! By the way...What's your devil fruit ability?"
"...The Psycho-Psycho fruit." Zalo replied calmly.
"So you're a psycho then! Glad you're on my side!" Zalo gained a tick mark on his forehead.
"I'M NOT PSYCHOTIC, IT'S JUST THE NAME OF THE DEVIL FRUIT! IT MEANS PSYCHIC! PSY! CHIC!"
"So...Can you move stuff with your mind?" Luffy asked.
"Yeah, but it gives me one hell of a nasty headache..."
"That's cool." Luffy replied happily.
"...Yeah...Real cool..." Zalo replied.
"Come on, let's head out to sea!" Luffy exclaimed, preemptively jumping into the water, forgetting the boat wasn't in the water yet. Zalo stared for a few seconds.
"Zoro! Luffy jumped in the water!" Zoro sighed.
"Damn idiot..." He grumbled before dropping the boat and diving in after the captain. As Zalo watched the scene, he thought to himself...
'What are you up to, Shenron?"
At Impel Down...
A tall, muscular man was tied to a sea stone chair by sea stone chains. A massive man with a horned helmet walked in, glaring at the prisoner.
"Meal time, Dragon Co."
"Ah, Poison Boy, what happened to the last person who came to feed me? Was I a little too rough on him?"
"If you call breaking every bone in his body 'rough', then yeah."
"Not my fault the idiot unlocked my cuffs."
"...Fair enough..." Magellan replied.
"Oh! Poison boy! Know what I just realized?!"
"I'm sure I don't want to know."
"I think you really do."
"No, I'm quite positive I don't."
"It'll help you with your prison managing, don't worry."
"Hmmm...Fine. What is it?"
"You're actually out of the washroom! Like, holy sh*t! I've never seen you out of the washroom this long!"
"Why you little-"
"Well it's not my fault you have poison for breakfast, lunch and dinner! That's what's giving you diarrhea!"
"POISON IS DELICIOUS!"
"Well I've never tried it personally, so I wouldn't know... Oh, anyway, Poison Boy-"
"It's WARDEN MAGELLAN!"
"Okay, Poison Warden...How are the other prisoners down here? Because if I remember correctly, there's one I wanted to meet..."
"Oh? And who would that be?"
"I think it was a man named Shiryu..." Magellan's eyes widened.
"How do you know about him?"
"I have my resources in this prison. But that's not important right now. Cause you see, I'm coming down with a bad case of boredom, and it can only be cured by meeting this special person, and if I don't, I might develop a stutter. P-P-Please don't do this to me." Magellan stared weirdly at Shenron.
"Why do you want to meet this man so badly after what he did to you?"
"You could say it's for curiousity's sake...Or..." The room suddenly grew very high in pressure. It became hard to breathe. "You could say it's to put fear in his heart. Let him know that if he ever F*CKS with me again, he WILL die." Magellan took a step back in fear. The pressure faded as Shenron smiled dumbly. "But it's also just to have a little fun. It's kinda boring in here. And if you take off my cuffs, I won't hurt you. I already tried and failed to escape when a normal guard took off my cuffs...Mainly because I was having a LIIIITTLE too much fun with him." Magellan stared. "So can I?"
"...Sure...Against my better judgement..."
"Really? Why?"
"I never really liked the guy anyway..."
"Yaaaaaay!"
And so...
You know, Poison Warden..." Shenron said as they walked down the hallway. Magellan growled. "You're not that bad of a person in hindsight." Magellan was surprised. "You're the only person I can have a normal conversation with in this place, since all of the prisoners in my area are batch*t crazy and the guards are too scared to even look at me, let alone talk to me. I've tried to strike up conversation. Y'know, football, new pirates and stuff...I've gotten a LITTLE information out of them...But after I try to talk more after I think they're comfortable, they piss themselves and run away! You should get your guards checked out to see if they have the balls to actually guard me." Magellan looked down shamefully. "But, again, you can't really complain. I mean, I'm still IN HERE, aren't I?" Magellan thought to himself. "Oh! Looks like we're here!" Shenron said. Magellan looked at the steel-tinted door. "Why do you guys keep him in a tinted door? It's not like he has a devil fruit or anything."
"There are plenty of powerful people who don't use devil fruits."
"Yeah, but those people are in regular cages. Anyway, can I go in now? And can you unlock my cuffs?"
"Why would I unlock your cuffs?"
"I'm just gonna have a little fun with him. Don't worry, he'll survive." Magellan thought to himself about the pros and cons of doing this. He finally came to a decision.
"Tell NO ONE."
"My lips are sealed."
Magellan's stomach grumbled, and his eyes widened as he clutched at it. He hurriedly unlocked the cuffs. "HERE'S THE KEY, CLOSE THE DOOR BEHIND YOU, I HAVE TO GO!" He exclaimed as he dashed down the hallway.
"See ya, Poison Warden!" Shenron called after him. "I'll remember this!" He faced the door. "Hmm...So I have my devil fruit powers back...Oh, THIS is gonna be FUN..." He opened the door just a crack. "Shiiiiiry-chan~" He said. He poked his head through the door, grinning ear to ear, utterly sadistic. "Heeeeeeeere's SHENNY!" Shiryu looked up and his eyes widened.
"How did you get out of your cell?!"
"I have my ways...Shiry-chan. Now...Let's have a nice little chat about what you did to me. As friends, I don't think that's a very nice thing to do to your buddy...Now, it's only fair if I do it to you...But I can't do EXACTLY what you did to me...Cause...It would ruin you forever. So I'll just do my own little way of torture-I mean fun."