For my amusement only, if you don't like it then you shouldn't have read it!
Disclaimer: I don't own the Discworld novels or characters. All other new characters though are mine.
Dinah Capone, the worst amongst the student of the Assassin's Guild and not in the good way either, sat in the back row of the Poison Study Hall. Her short choppy black hair falling over her eyes as she slept through Professor Fatale's lecture, making her look like some street rat.
Behind her, hidden in the darkest corner of the room, Jonathan Teatime's pencil snapped with the force he was holding it. He shook his blonde curls in frustration and reached down for another pencil. This, and happenings like it, had gotten steadily worse since she'd started taking all his classes two years ago.
The teenager frowned when his pale fingers closed around nothing. As his white eyes snapped downward towards his satchel and he clenched his teeth as an unfamiliar flash of anger streaked through him. That was another thing that kept happening; his feelings crept up to the surface to take a look around.
"Looking for these?" As Jonathan looked up he beheld the smirking smart-aleck before him, who was holding his pencils and had her lively green eyes daring him to make a move for them.
"Ah, yes, would you be so kind as to hand them over?" His response was short and polite. Which made her eyes narrow in suspicion, she thought about her next move before opening her mouth.
"I'll give them back on one condition, short stuff." A low growl erupted from Jonathan's throat, surprising him as another flash of anger over the short joke rang out.
"That I cut your throat and peel out your eyeballs?" The girl just laughed quietly at his response, a rare occurrence for the boy since everyone thought he was creepy.
"No, I think you'll find my proposition insulting on the highest level, Johnny." She held out the pencils and grinned. Then the bell rang, to which she left him sitting there with no pencils as she ran off towards the lunch hall.
'Damnation!' he though as he packed up his remaining supplies and followed the girl. He found it frustrating that a girl who hardly paid attention in class still had a higher grade than he did, and she found it necessary to tease him almost constantly.
Dinah ducked into a corner with her lunch tray and surveyed the hall. The students bustled about like in any other school. And the air held a steady thrumming of activity that made the black haired outsider grin from the stupidity of it all.
Out of the corner of her eye she noticed the Black Bird League heading towards the main entrance with a focused look about their thin faces. They were the Assassin's Guild bullies, outwardly calm and collected and a scourge to every smaller child in their pathway to success. All of them were lead by Monty Snacess, or Snake as he was known.
Snake happened to come from the Snacess lineage, the finest assassins inside Ankh-Morpork, besides Vetinari of course. Along with the being one richest family to boot, which meant that Snake could do anything he wanted. Except pick on Dinah, whose own family was richer and more powerful than his was.
Dinah turned her head to follow the League's movement through the crowded room. Snake was ahead of them leaning on a pillar and talking to someone she couldn't see. Then, as if by magic, the crowd parted and allowed her to view…
It was that Jonathan kid! And boy was he looking absolutely terrified. This fact should have made a tingle of delight run up her bones, instead cold dread ran its fingers down her spine.
Food long forgotten she left her post and slide amongst the other students. Almost there, she could just about reach out and grab Snake by his ear, which was exactly what she did.
"What the hell!" Snake yelped as his ear was yanked down. The other members of the League and Jonathan turned towards that sound. What they found was this; Dinah holding the much taller boy by the ear and pulling him down to her head height.
"What, may I ask, is going on here?" she grinned innocently up at the other boys before drop kicking their leading four feet away from her and pulling him back up again.
"Um," This came from Stuart, who in all reasons shouldn't have been let into the school in the first place since his IQ was lower than a troll's, but once again it was because he came from another rich family. "We were just talking to Mr. Teatime here. Isn't that right, Teatime?"
"It's pronounced Teh-ah-time-eh actually, Stuart." Every head was now focused on Dinah who was grinning from ear-to-ear and looking at Jonathan like a shark.
"Of course, Miss Dinah, is there anything you'll be wanting?" This came from another one of the League, one that was intelligent enough to know when to run away and hide.
"There is actually, you'll all leave Mr. Teatime here alone, and run off to do whatever it is you do when you're not bullying people." The tone in the small raven haired teen's voice left no room for arguing, or disobedience.
Dinah dropped Snake again and gave him a warning look. With that he and his followers scuttled off to obey her instructions. It did not pay to ignore Lord Capone's daughter and not expect to disappear.
"So Johnny, how's it going?" The pale fifteen year old turned his wide white gaze on her and blinked.
"Excuse me, but you've just dispatched Monty and his elite gang of training assassins and you want to know how I'm doing."
"That's what I asked wasn't it?" This brought out a tiny smile from the young man. "Oh, by the way," one hand reached into her coat pocket and pulled out his collection of pencils. "I believe these are yours?"
Jonathan stretched out his hand and took the thin pieces of wood. He tried to pull his hand back as quick as possible but Dinah was quicker. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him closer, pressing her lips into his own.
When she pulled away Jonathan was flushed and stock still. A grin spread along her pale face as she whispered in his ear: "That was my condition, Johnny old boy, and this one is to say goodbye." Again she pressed her soft lips to his, but this time gentler and with a great deal more care.
Then she was gone, disappearing like a cloud of smoke. Leaving Jonathan panting, blushing, and clutching the object she'd given him. His white eyes looked down at the thin plain dagger that was clutched in a death grip in his hand. After that a smile, almost as maniacal as Dinah's spread across his face and lit up his pale features.
Now there went a woman he'd not soon forget, if the blade in his hand had anything to say about it at least. Feeling as light as air Jonathan went happily back to his studies, looking forward to the next time he met the wonderful Dinah Capone.
I hope you enjoyed it, I loved writing it. Although I know I didn't keep Jonathan Teatime in character, because he's still a kid duh, I'm very happy with the outcome. It all holds such fluffiness; it makes me very happy indeed! Until next time, bye-bye!