13 Ways to Annoy Organization XIII
By: Crystal
Disclaimer: I don't own Kingdom Hearts or Organization XIII.
Summary: Exactly what it sounds like. No flames or comments going, 'Hey! This is a list! You can't do lists!' because there are a million other Ways to Annoy the Organization lists besides mine so deal with it. Anyways, I'm out for the summer and thought this would be a fun way to start things off! Rated T for the usual cursing/crude humor.
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First up, Xemnas!
1. When he takes a sip off his coffee, casually state that he and Saix make a great couple.
2. Leave a XemSai lemon/ most perverted fic you can find up on his computer.
3. Laugh at his reaction (Can we say massive nosebleed, anyone?)
4. Put Viagra in his coffee.
5. Tell Larxene you found some of her panties in his room, them watch the resulting chaos!
6. Steal his cow cloak.
7. Point out the fact that his Ethereal Blades look like light sabers. When he tries to tell you they aren't, yell 'Copyright Infringement!'
8. Point out to Xigbar that Xemnas can be arranged to spell Mansex, have him tell everyone.
9. Call him Mansex and refuse to call him anything but.
10. When he's used to that, call him Terra (Play BBS. Xemnas is Terra's body, but Xehanort's mind.)
11. Ask him why he left Aqua.
12. During a meeting, start yelling 'Pick me! Pick me!' When he does up you, shrug and say 'I forgot.'
13. Have Larxene yell at him. When he asks her what's wrong, have her say, 'If you don't know what's wrong, then I'm certainly not going to tell you.' That'll really confuse him.
Next Victim, Xigbar!
1. Ask him his age. When he tells you, gasp and hold your hand over your heart.
2. Steal his Arrowguns and replace them with water pistols.
3. Or those Nerf dart guns.
4. Call him a pirate.
5. Tell him the anagram of his name, Bigrax.
6. Steal his eye patch. Tell him Marluxia has it.
7. Refuse to give him munny for a new one. (Watch that Organization XIII Behind the Scenes video if you don't know the reason for him asking for munny for a new one.)
8. Find a XigDem and XigXal fic and leave it up on his computer. Watch him shoot the computer.
9. Respond to everything he says with, 'As if!'
10. Ask him why a fifty-year old dude like him talks like he's seventeen.
11. Steal his ammo.
12. Clog his guns so they backfire in his face when he goes to use them.
13. Tell him to, 'Cut your hair, you hippie!'
Nest up, Xaldin
1. Call him Rock Lee (His eyebrows are that bushy.)
2. Laugh and tell him he got beat up by a girl! (Whoot! Go Belle!)
3. Stick a 'Caution: I will Stabbity you' sign on his back. (O13 behind the scenes video.)
4. Tell him that Xigbar is in his room and nudge him, winking suggestively.
5. Fart and yell, 'Beware the Winds of Despair!' (See this section. number three)
6. Superglue him to the ceiling.
7. Send Belle a love letter signed with his name. Watch her beat him up. Again.
8. Or Larxene.
9. Laugh as he's getting beat up by Belle, then getting the crap zapped out of him by Larxene.
10. Cut off his dreadlocks.
11. Hide all the sake.
12. Laugh as he goes into withdrawal
13. Hide every robe he owns, then hang a Beauty and the Beast T-shirt in his closet. He'll have to wear it or go naked. Both choices are equally amusing in my opinion.
Now, it's Vexen's turn!
1. Call him 'Grandpa'. Refuse to call him anything but.
2. When he's used to that, call him Grandma.
3. Teach the Replica about Stranger Danger. Have him point at Vexen and yell that every time he sees him.
4. Leave a MarVex fic on his laptop. Watch the resulting chaos.
5. You'll need Xigbar for this one. When Vexen is working with highly explosive chemicals, have Xigbar shout 'Boo!' behind him.
6. Kick him and yell, 'Oba-san! I want candy!'
7. Show him his Re-Chain of Memories death video.
8. Watch him act all paranoid and freak out about Axel every time the pyro comes within fifty feet.
9. Erase all of his equations on his blackboard. Write 'Marluxia was here!'
10. Switch all of the labels on his chemicals so he doesn't know what chemicals he is mixing.
11. BOOM.
12. Have Demyx ask how babies are made.
13. Ask him for a hug. When he refuses, cry, and when he finally caves, stare at him with a terrified expression, yell 'Stranger danger!' and run like hell.
Number five, Lexaeus's turn!
1. Call him Chewbacca (Credit to HotPinkMidnite on Youtube! Check out her Kingdom Hearts Random Crap videos!)
2. Try to get him to talk.
3. Stare at him. Say 'BIG!'
4. Have him reach for things on high selves for you.
5. If he refuses, cry.
6. Steal his puzzles and hide them in Xaldin's room.
7. When he goes to look for them in Xaldin's room, point to him and yell, 'The rumors are true!'
8. Refuse to tell them what the rumors are.
9. When he finds out, laugh at his reaction.
10. Run for your life.
11. Replace his weights with Spongebob's fuzzy animal ones.
12. Nosebleed-inducing Zexion/Lexaeus fic. You know what to do.
13. Ask him if he's on steroids.
The emo kids turn! Number 6, Zexion!
1. Hide all of the Organization's sharp weapons in his room.
2. Call him emo.
3. Spray paint his room pink.
4. Leave a nosebleed inducing Zemyx fic on his computer.
5. Or worse, Vexen/Zexion fic. Watch the resulting chaos!
6. Call him Sexy Zexy.
7. Steal his reading glasses.
8. If ever you see him with a sharp object, steal it from him, and yell, "No! Bad emo!"
9. Tell him his weapon is lame.
10. Cheer up, emo kid! Have Demyx hug him and say this.
11. Tell him about the pictures you've seen of him on DeviantArt.
12. Get Xigbar drunk (Again, HotPinkMidnite!)
13. Sing the Emo Kid Song each time he walks into the room.
Now it the Werewo-*Saix death-glares at me*, er, Saix's turn!
1. Pet him and say, 'Good doggie!'
2. Ask him if he's a werewolf.
3. No matter his response, run and yell, "Werewolf!"
4. Poke his X scar and say, "X marks the spot!"
5. Run for your life!
6. Refuse to call him anything but Puppy or Werewolf or Sailor Moon.
7. When he takes a sip of his coffee, ask him if him and Xemmy had fun last night.
8. Moon him.
9. Cosplay as him and hit on Xemnas.
10. When he goes berserk, hit him with a rolled-up newspaper and day, 'Bad doggie!'
11. Attempt to pet him.
12. Attempt to take him out on a walk, collar and leash included.
13. Meow at him.
Ah, I'm gonna hate myself for this because I love Axel, but it's his turn now!
1. Every time he uses his powers, soak him with a bucket of water.
2. Say you thought he was on fire and needed help, so you took the appropriate action.
3. Put up an AkuRoku fic on his computer.
4. Ask him if he's Reno's Nobody.
5. Make fun of his true name. Which is Lea (Pronounced Lee, but pronounce it as Leah.)
6. Set Xemnas on fire when he's on one of his 'Oh, my Kingdom Hearts' moments. He'll know who to blame.
7. Water balloon attack!
8. Ask him if he pissed off Larxene, because his hair makes him look like he stuck a finger in an electrical socket.
9. Steal his hair gel.
10. Ask him if he's gay because he wears makeup.
11. Find a Larxel story and put it on Larxene's computer.
12. Attack of the pissed-off blonde! Watch hell break loose.
13. When he's bad, squirt him with a Super Soaker, saying, 'Bad pyro! No!'
Demyx's turn! (Poor Dem-Dem.)
1. Smash his sitar like a rockstar.
2. Bring Cerberus home. Tell him you got it for him as a pet.
3. Get Larxene to electrify the cookie jar.
4. Replace his sitar with a violin.
5. Find a XigDem picture on his computer.
6. Watch him freak out and blast Xigbar with a torrent of water.
7. Tell him what his sitar resembles (Organization XIII behind the scenes.)
8. Tell Saix where he's been goofing off when he's supposed to be working.
9. Laugh at him when Saix goes berserk on his ass.
10. When he plays his sitar, cover your ears, and growl, "Who the hell is strangling a cat?"
11. Steal his sitar. Play it loudly and badly, singing horribly off-key.
12. Tell him where babies come from.
13. Tell him about the pictures on DeviantArt and how he's paired up with every member and is the Organization's bitch.
Ok, now for the Organization's resident Brit, Luxord!
1. Tell Larxene he wants to play her in a game of strip poker.
2. So you really need an explanation for that?
3. Hide his rum.
4. Replace it with only the really girly drinks.
5. Cut up his cards with Xaldin's lances.
6. Stick a pair of Larxene's panties in his room.
7. Ask him if he would like a spot of tea in a horrible fake English accent.
8. Replace his earrings with girly ones.
9. Accuse him of cheating.
10. Shave of his beard when he's sleeping.
11. Replace all his cards with Pokemon cards.
12. Tell Xemnas that Luxord hides in the Organization's liquor cabinet when he's supposed to be working.
13. Wait, that's true?
Now it's Petal-boy's turn. This'll be too easy!
1. Tell Roxas what a creeper he is around Namine.
2. Try to see if he's really a he.
3. Ask him if he's really a he.
4. Call him Flower Boy.
5. When he's used to that call him Flower Girl.
6. Put a MarVex fic on his computer. Watch him try to shove his scythe up Vexen's ass.
7. Call him Drag Queen (Thanks Becca!)
8. Dye his hair black.
9. Paint his room black.
10. Cosplay as him and hit on every other male Organization member.
11. If you ever see him and Namine together in the same room, slap him and yell, 'PEDOPHILE!'
12. Or better yet, get Roxas!
13. Laugh as Roxas attempts to shove a Keyblade up Marluxia's butt.
Larxene's turn! Oh dear god…
1. Tell her that her hair makes her look like a bug.
2. Tell her that Axel stole her eyeliner.
3. Hide her eyeliner in his room.
4. Spray her with a Super Soaker.
5. Laugh while she short-circuits.
6. Run like hell!
7. Steal her underwear and put them in Mansex's room.
8. Steal her kunai and yell, 'I'm a ninja!'
9. Get Luxord really drunk.
10. Watch him get zapped when he tries hitting on her.
11. Cut off her hair antennae in her sleep.
12. Put buckets of water over the door to her bedroom.
13. Tell her you like Xion more because Xion's nicer and isn't a total bitch like she is.
Last but not least, Roxas!
1. Tell him he sounds like Jesse McCartney.
2. Call him midget or tiger or kiddo.
3. Tell him he can't have any more sea salt ice-cream because he's put on to much weight and needs to lose some.
4. Find a rated M AkuRoku fic and leave it up on his computer.
5. Watch him smash the computer and tell Xemnas.
6. Then watch him try to attack Axel with Oblivion and Oathkeeper.
7. Call him 'Sora' and ask him why he's not with the brain-damaged dog and the duck with a speech impediment.
8. Put him on a healthy food diet.
9. Tell him they stopped making sea salt ice-cream,
10. Tell him Namine's going out with Axel.
11. You remember the Cheer Up, Emo Kid thing with Zexion? Do the same to Roxas!
12. Tell him Riku is stronger and could kick his butt any day of the week.
13. Show him the pictures of what the Dusks did to him while he was in a coma (Read the manga 258/2 Days)
Ah, finally done! She's still got it, right people? Well, anyway more to come now that I'm out of school for the summer!
Yawn…so sleepy!
Adieu, Crystal.