You wake up. "Hello!" says a short, elderly man. He appears to be in his late 60s. "Welcome to the world of Pokemon!" he shouts at no one, and throws a Poke'ball on to the ground and out comes a dead rat. He picks up the dead rat and eats it, and pretends like this never happened. He takes out a poke'ball and throws it to the ground. Out pops a green rabbit creature except it is covered slime so I guess you could call it a Slimbit. "This is a Slimbit, this is a Poke'mon." the man says and he blinks. You were right. You are kind of confused. The slimbit then latches onto the man and sucks the blood out of him like hes a juice box. It has absorbed his soul. "HELLO" says the Slimbit. "BOY OR GIRL" You think it is weird to answer the Slimbit but you tell him anyway. Your name is BOSS MAN. Yes. "BOOS MAN ENTER POKEMON! WORLD NOW!" The Slimbit sucks you up and you black out.
You wake up in your room on the floor right next to your bed. You just moved here last month and you havent left your room once, so you dont know anyone here. Your mother has made sure to completely cut you off from the outside world which you think was a great decision. You stare at the game console in front of it your television for about 12 minutes. It's a Virtual Boy. You bought this off eBay for the same price as a Wii U so you are always wondering why you did that. You walk over to your clock. It's a quarter past 9. This clock broke 14 years ago, so it has been a quarter past 9 your whole entire life. "BOSS MAN!" yells your Mother from downstairs. You walk downstairs but the odor she emits causes you to pass out halfway down and you fall down the stairs and bleed. You wake up an hour later but you dont know that because its a quarter past 9. "BOSS MAN" Mother says and she lets out a huge nasty, which causes you to cough up blood. "GET OUTSIDE NOW BOSS MAN GET OUTSIDE NOW GET OUTSIDE NOW FRESH AIR INHALE" Mother says, and she falls over causing the ground to shake. She is unconscious. This kind of throws you off so you walk over to the refrigerator and look inside for a really long time before you finally realize you've been staring at nothing but a jar of tartar sauce. You take out the tartar sauce and place it under the sink. You turn the water on so now it is a jar of tartar sauce and water. You grab a spoon and starting eating the tartar watar mixture. You pour what is left in your mother's mouth to wake her up. "I'm going outside now, mother!" you yell and she replies with some kind of garbled noise you can't understand. And so you go outside and you pee yourself because well it stinks outside, but it is not as bad as inside so you breathe in all that nasty stink. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" is a scream that you hear from the lab next to you. You run inside and see a girl around your age with blood where a leg should be. Shes crying. You look at the ceiling to see a Dunsparce. It is covered in blood. You know it ate this poor girl's leg. You shoot at it and you hit it because of your epic aim. It falls to the ground and screams out "No! Why!". This kind of throws you off but not enough to completely fuck you up so you take out your Poke'ball and throw it at the ugly yellow blue bastard. The ball wiggles and you capture it. You put the ball in your pocket and the girl on the ground giggles. in pain. "DONE WELL, BOOS MAN" says a familiar voice and it turns out that voice was the goddamn Slimbit. "KEEP DUNSPARCE, HELP YOU IN JOURNEY TO KILL POKEMON CHAMP, BECOME LEADER OF ALL!" You black out again.
You wake up in a house and you see the girl with no leg except now she has a leg so that's pretty cool for her you guess. It looks like a robot leg which is kind of weird. You crawl over to her robot toes and suck on her cold metal foot fingers. She blushes and giggles. You don't even notice her mother standing next to you, eating soup out of a pot. She drops the pot and gets on her knees and rolls around in the soup. You are kind of confused by what is happening right now but it doesn't matter, you love the taste of these cold metal toes. You suck on her toes until a quarter past 9 then you get up and bid farewell than you leave. You leave the town through the west exit and find yourself completely submerged. An ugly red fish pokemon comes up to you and you immediately recognize it as Magikarp. You slice it in half with your trusty dagger and keep the front half. You stare into its eyes but it is dead so you feel kind of weird about this. You realize that you will soon pass out so you swim back up and go back into town. The west exit is the only exit so you don't know how to get out. "BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSSSSSSS MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN" a voice calls out to you. You don't recognize the voice. "LET ME OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUT" the voice calls out to you again. You realize it is coming from your pokeball so you ignore it because you know it is just that goddamn Dunsparce trying to bother you about nothing. Dunsparce breaks out of the Pokeball. "Hop on me!" he says and you hop on him. You ride him across the water and get to the other side. You then find yourself surrounded by a gang of Pokemon. "SNUBBULL SNUBBULL SNUBBULL" the Snubbull says. "LOTAD LOTAD LOTAD" says the Lotad. "PRINPLUP? PRINPLUP PRINPLUP? the Prinplup asks. This is bullshit so you try to walk around you but the Prinplup trips you "ARRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU" it yells and it stabs you in the leg with a knife. You black out.