Makes me wonder

by lupin and black

AU. Alex parents died leaving him at 18 in charge of his two younger brothers Scott and Gabe. This is a slash fanfic Darwin/Alex. Rated M because Alex has a bit of a dirty mouth and there is adult subject matter ahead. Now posted complete as a 1 shot

Makes Me Wonder

Notes:

This was beta by Orildomlijah all remaining faults are mine own. This is basically 40 plus thousand words of self indulgence. Hope you enjoy.
New Note
This has been edited within an inch of my life and I'm sure there are still mistakes for that I am sorry. Enjoy.
Peace

Summer

I hate weekends... I always end up nodding off in a chair in the middle of doing something random, like folding clothes; I jerk awake 10 minutes later, frantic, with drool on my face, heart racing thinking I'm missing something important. No matter what the time of day there is always something I need to be doing. So I drag myself out of the chair and get back to folding clothes or whatever.
When I was still a kid, 11 months 3 days and some odd hours ago. I loved weekends. I had parents who loved me, took care of me. Weekends were about sleeping late, fighting off bratty little brothers for the last of the good cereal, Saturday morning cartoons, hang out with friends and late morning Sunday family brunch. They are gone now, my amazing, kind, parents who loved me. They died six hours between them, my father crushed to near nothing on a strip of road just outside of town, my mother a brain dead mess in a hospital 22 miles away, she lasted five and a half hours. They were buried in matching graves, side by side the way they lived their lives. 48 hours after I put them in the ground I turned 18. There was no party, just a card from Scott who made me pancakes for breakfast and a long clingy snot filled hug from Gabriel. It was a week before social services came round asking questions about finding good homes for Scott and Gabe who were at ages 10 and 6 legally wards of the state. It took me 2 months in court spending money I didn't have proving I had the legal right to the snotty uppity little brats. I had a record, I wasn't the best kid but they where my brothers and I proved I could take care of them. I gave up on going back to high school, which would have pissed the hell out of dad. But keep the family together which would have made mom proud. I got a crappy deli job and when that wasn't enough, a shitty gas station job. I made sure Scott got the new microscope dad promised him for his 11th birthday and that Gabe got to baseball practice on time ever week. I cleaned, cooked, did laundry three times a week and hardly sleep but the family was together. I figure I would break down or lose it sooner rather than later but I have a plan for that, sort of mostly, almost a plan. I was never the responsible one that was always dad and Scott. It was driving me crazy the constant routine of shit. But the family was together.

Standing in the grocery store watching Gabe stand on tiptoes to grab a box of coma induces sugar filled cereal and I know it's worth it. Because this is my family, these are my brothers and I refuse to give them less than I had. They will not be sent off to strangers who would not understand them, would never love them half as much as I did.
Scott comes around the corner carrying an armload of frozen vegetables; he's on a healthy food kick. He dumps the groceries in the cart, pushes his glass up on his nose.
"Are we done here Alex?"
I turn to where Gabe is trying to get another boxes of sugar induce mania in a box.
"Ya we're done. You get the cart I'll get the brat."
He nods and takes control of the cart. I grab Gabe toss him over my shoulder, he sequels and smacks me on the back. I smack his ass. He laughs and clings to the back of my tee shirt.
Scott leads the way to the checkout, he slides into the shortest line almost running down an old lady to get there first. I let him dumps all the food on the counter. I try not to think to hard as the numbers add up. I can feel Scott watching me adding the numbers in his head. I tug on his hair turning his head away from the register.
"None of your concern old man"
He frowns "But"
I cut him off with a hand over his mouth. "No, you don't worry about it, that's my job."
He glares at me but when I take my hand away he says nothing. I hand over my bank card. The women swipes and I loses 50% of one paycheck. I start grabbing bags Scott follows my lead. Gabe is away super helpful at the grocery store he carries three light bags me and Scott get the rest.
We toss the bags in the trunk of my car. It's a classic 1976. I found it at a junk sale when I was 14 I spent ever cent I had on it and some I borrowed from my parents. Me and dad worked on it, building it up for 2 years before it was fit to drive. It guzzles gas like crazy but purrs like a well feed jungle cat, it's not the most sensible car but it mine. I sold mom's car and kept dad's car under wrap in the garage. Mom's car was a sensible car, sturdy, dependable but I think dad car was a hell of a lot cooler, I'm saving it for Scott's 16th birthday, he will appreciate the curves of the classic mustang.
When we get home Gabe forgets all about being helpful he races into the house in search of Bert and Ernie his matching huskies mom got him for his 6th birthday. Scott rolls his eyes and helps me unload the groceries. He waits till all the groceries are put away before turning his too serious gaze on me.
"We are not going to the movies tonight."
"Yes we are Scott I already promised Gabe and I know you want to see the movie."
He crosses his arms over his thin chest, chin jutting out, eyes narrowed, face serious as stone.
"I won't go."
"Yes you will because I will carry you there myself. It's a treat Scott. You both deserve more for the top grades you pulled this year even after all the shit that went down."
He looks away deflated, he walks across the room and warps his skinny arms around my waist, pressing his face against my stomach. He's still small for his age but it wasn't until the summer after I turned 13 that I got my first growth spurt, he still has time.
"I'm sorry Alex I promise I'll make it up to you."
I hug him back kiss the top of his head.
"There is nothing for you to make up to me. Go get Gabe if we leave now we can be there in time for the 4 o'clock showing."
He lets me go reluctantly and drags his feet towards the back of the house. I close my eyes, rub a hand over my face. I'm tired, got off a shift at the gas station, came home, made breakfast, than grocery shopping and now movies by the time I get back I will have enough time to get Gabe showered and in bed, take my own shower and head back to work. I'm fucking dog ass tired.
I open my eyes and know that I lost a few minutes. I shake myself, grab an energy drink from the fridge, down half of it before heading to the back yard where Scott sits on the steps watching Gabe tease Bert with a stick.
"Come on guys get a move on or we'll lose the good seats."
Scott stands dusty off his pants. Gabe drops the stick and runs to me, I catch him easy swinging him up on my back. I lock the back door trapping the two dogs outside. It won't rain they'll be fine.

The theater is packed but Scott still finds decent seats. I end up between them, which never use to happen. They always wanted to sit next to each other. Now they sit on either sides of me with the armrest up so they can slump against my side. We share a big popcorn and soda. I enjoy the feel of them warm and just there.

Scott is silent the whole movie. He watches movies like he does everything else with startling focus. Gabe watches the movie, loses interest and plays with my hand, than he is shifting in his seat asking questions. He stops for a moment than starts swing his feet back and forth; they crash into the seat in front of him, the guy in the seat turns around even in the dark of the theater I can feel his angry glare. He looks us over his eyes settle on me.
"Control your kid"
He turns back around before I can answer.
Gabe laughs and swings his legs, I grab his feet and hold them down he turns a pout on me
"Please Gabe stop"
He crosses his arms over his chest and glare at me but his feet stop moving. He actually settles down and watches the rest of the movie feet resting against the back of the man's seat but he's not kicking so I let it be.
Movie over, Scott wants to sit and wait till the credits are done. Gabe get impatient I let him crawl into my lap. He settles against me and sticks his thumb in his mouth. He stopped sucking his thumb when he was 4 and started again 11 months and 3 days ago. He is watching the man who sat in front him. The man stands up stretches a little, he's tall lean, he has a good profile, I wonder what his eyes look like, he swings a bag over his shoulder and walks off. I close my eyes for a moment, I let six heartbeats pass before opening them again. The credits are done, Scott stands up and dust popcorn crumbs off his shorts.

We step out into a warm early summer night. Gabe is on a sugar rush. Scott is all smiles riding high on the joy of a good movie. I wish I could go home and just spend time with them. I never would have though before all this that I would ever want to hang around with my younger brothers, now day spending half a day with them is the highlight of my week.

When we get home I make a fast dinner get Gabe fed drag him off to shower and toss him in bed. I know he will be up half the night reading comics under his sheets but at least he will be in bed and Scott won't have to chase him around. I shower dress for a night at the gas station.

It's after 3am when the car pulls up at one of the self serve station. A man get out his profile looks vaguely familiar than I realize he was the man sitting in front Gabe at the movies. I watch him fill up his tank pay and get back in his car. I wish he had come in not that I had anything to say to him, I just wonder what he looked like up close in the light.

I fall asleep in between 3:15 and 4:30 when I wake up I have half an hour left on my shift. Drew the next on shift stumbles in nods and goes to the back to change his eyes are red rimmed and he's got a shit eating grin on his face, which means he partied hard last night and he will want to share. I'm in no mood to hear about anyone else social life. I gather my stuff, when he comes up front I clock out fast and wave. I'm out the door before he can finish saying my name.
When I get home the house is the perfect quiet of sleeping children. I strip, shower, get in bed and fall away fast.
When I get up the clock say 10:19 I can hear Gabe screaming about something. I rub a hand over my face and get out of my very comfortable bed. I open the door to my room and scream Gabe's name. He screams back "what" and I know today is going to be one of those days where I want to kill him. I go downstairs. He's in the hallway wearing a sheet like a toga waving around the broomstick.
"Gabe what the fuck are you doing?"
"I'm leading a fucking army."
"Don't use language like that."
He rolls his eyes at me. "You use it all the time."
"I'm fully grown you are a little shit who can't cures till you're old enough to go to war and die."
He stomps his feet, waves the broomstick. "I was just playing you're the one who is bothering me"
"Gabe I was sleeping I never have a day off. For the first time in 4 fucking months I get a day off I want to sleep so shut the fuck up and go have a fake war in the back fucking yard"
He glares at me eyes filling with tears. He stomps forward and kicks me hard in the shin and thumps me with the broomstick in the same spot. I fall to the ground clutching my shin. He stomps pass me.
"Fuck you" he screams over his shoulder, the backyard door slams shut. I lean against the wall rubbing my leg. Scott comes into the hall a frown on his face.
"You handled that horribly."
"I'm fucking tired."
He gives me a small strained smile. "I know, still, he's only 6."
"Yeah well fuck me"
Scott shakes his head to hide a smile than slump down next to me on the floor.
"You can go back to bed I'll make sure the brat stay outside."
"No use I wouldn't get back to sleep now."
"You could try."
I shake my head unclench my fist, sleep was a lost cause. I drag myself upward. I could get the laundry done.

I spend the day cleaning it's almost 7 when I decide I deserve ice cream. I offer Gabe ice cream he takes it like a peace offering and all the door slamming and wall kicking stops. We get dress and drive into town. Gabe wants to go to Carvel's; Scott wants Starbucks. I take us to the cafe on the nice side of town that I always mean to try but never get the chance to check out.

I push open the door Gabe runs past me into the shop than comes to a sudden halt. His eyes go wide and he raises a hand pointing a finger in the direction of the register.
"It's you!"
The man from the theater looks up take in the three of us and rolls his eyes.
"I'm closing in 5 minutes, shop closes at 8"
Gabe drags my hand downward so he can look at my watch.
"It 7:45 that give us 15 minutes"
The man smirks. "I do things on my time"
He is rather good-looking, all smooth brown skin and sharp brown eyes. He feels me watching and turns to look at me.
"Are you in charge of that child?" He nods toward Gabe who looks insulted.
I clear my throat feeling slightly confused "Yes."
"You should beat him, regularly"
Gabe looks deeply affronted, he actually trips over his feet trying to move forward, I grab hold of the back of his tee shirt holding him back, he glares at me than at the man behind the counter.
The guy laughs, Scott laughs. I step around them moving toward the counter. He sells ice cream, ice cream base drink, smoothies, coffee and pastries. There is a peanut butter chocolate drink that seems to speak to me.
"I'm sorry to bother you so late but can you please make us drinks I promised the brats ice cream. And your drinks look like the best I could ever get, I'll pay double."
He snorts and puts aside the paper he'd been reading
"No need to beg I'll hook you guys up with something but I get to pick."
"Deal can I request lots of chocolate and if possible peanut butter?"
He gives me a once over, a smirk settle at the side of his mouth and I realize he is bloody fucking gorgeous.
"I'll see what I can do."
He walks off to the back room. I turn to glare at Scott and Gabe who are in the middle of a fight.
"Quit it now. Behave I want to taste one of these drinks."
Gabe pouts "Me too."
"Then sit down and shut it for 10 fucking minutes."
Scott gives me the high and might look. "You say fuck too much Alex."
"Shut it."
Scott rolls his eyes and moves Gabe toward the only table with the seats down all the others were already put up. I lean against the counter and wait for my drink.

He comes back carrying a bunch of stuff turn on a blender and gets to work. He moves with smooth, easy, confidence. He clearly enjoys his job. He chops fruit and dumps it in the blender. He hits blend, the harsh grinding sound is the only sound filling the space when it's done he get ice cream scooped in cups and topping put a swirl straw in each cup. He rests them on the counter and motions to Gabe and Scott. Gabe throws himself off the seat and races toward the counter eyes wide with lustful joy Scott follows at a slight slower pace. He cleans the blender and starts another drink with peanut butter and chocolate lots of chocolate and caramel I bit my lip in want. He blends, pours, tops with caramel swirls and a straw, he slides the cup in front of me. I look at the drink than at his long fingered hand rest on the counter. I suck on the straw a blast of frozen chocolate rolls over my tongue, I taste the peanut butter and caramel and something else I can place. It's perfection. I sit back holding it in my mouth for a moment before swallowing, it's been 9 weeks since I last ate ice cream. I look up to find him watching me with a self-satisfied smirk on his face.
"From the sounds you're making I take it you like it."
"God, like is not a big enough word."
I drink more. Gabe and Scott finish their off he gives them seconds. I am taking my time. When I am halfway done he's already done cleaning up most of the shop. Gabe and Scott are sitting together on the floor play with their PSP. Every now and then Gabe makes a happy sound. The nameless drink maker hums under his breath as he cleans. I sit drink and thinking of nothing. When I get to the bottom of the cup I sit back and start calculating what I have to give up in order to afford this drink every day for the rest of my life. He takes the empty cup and goes off to the back room. I take out my wallet and wait. When he comes back he has his bag tossed over his shoulder.
"I owe you for bothering you and the drinks"
"No you don't" He offers me a hand "My name is Armando most people call me Darwin long story."
I shake the offered had, it's warm and dry.
"Alex Summers. The older one is Scott the younger one is Gabriel called Gabe."
He nods looks over at them.
"You stuck on babysitting duty?"
"Something like that. How much for the drinks?"
"It was on the house you guys amuse me."
I roll my eyes. "Not for now, tomorrow. I want one tomorrow and possible everyday for the rest of my life."
He laughs a loud rough sound that runs over me, I look away from him.
"Come by tomorrow and I'll let you know."
We step outside the shop Scott leading Gabe who is still playing his game.
"What time do you close?"
"During the week 8 if I feel like it, sometime I close early."
"You own this place."
He pulls down the gate in front the glass windows.
"Yes it's all mine."
"That must be nice."
He locks the gate. "It works for me."
I nod look at the ground shove my hands in the back pocket of my jeans.
"I guess I'll see you tomorrow."
"Try to be here before 6, tomorrow feels like it will be a close early kind of day."
I laugh, "I'll try."
I motion Scott and Gabe to follow me. Scott stops in front Armando offers him a hand, they shake, he thanks him for the smoothie, and smacks Gabe till he does the same. With a smile and a wave they trail after me to the car.

I work one job at the deli, which is walking distance from the house, a long walk but still walk able. When I get off work I am not surprised to see Scott and Gabe sitting on the hood of the car.
"You couldn't wait till I came back home to get you?"
Scott pokes Gabe's shoulder.
"He was having withdrawal seizures."
I roll my eyes and open the car door. I had planned to go home and change it would have been cutting it close but I didn't want to show up in work jeans and a stupid white tee shirt. Of course they didn't know that, I felt no need to tell them. Gabe straps himself into the back seat. Scott slides into the passenger seat and buckles up, he gives me a look, all wide-eyed and innocent.
"I'm sorry I should have brought you another shirt."
I glare at him "Shut up Scott."
He laughs and looks out the window. Gabe sits forward chewing gum hanging out his mouth.
"What's so funny I want to laugh too."
I shove him into the back seat.
"Your face is funny."
He cracks up "No its not."
"Yes it is."
"No its not."
"Yes it is."
"Your face is funny."
"No it's not."
And that's the whole conversation into town. I find decent parking two blocks away from the shop. I lock up the car and get us moving. Gabe clings to my arm. By the time we get there it's a quarter to 6 there is a sign hanging on the door that says the shop closes at 6. Inside is pretty busy. Scott opens the door and steps aside to let Gabe runs in first making a beeline for the counter. Armando looks up from a drink and smiles. I wave and feel my face go red. Scott pokes me in the side, I smack his shoulder.
"Stop."
"He likes you too Alex if you date him we all get free drinks."
"Who said I like him."
"You were making cow eyes at him."
"No I wasn't."
The girl in front of us in line turns to give me a small smirk. I drag Scott off to a corner.
"Let's say that maybe I might be slightly interested, how do you know he likes me?"
He gives me the 'you're so stupid' look.
"He spent all last night checking you out and smirking at you. He gave you free drinks and that sure as hell wasn't because he likes Gabe."
"I saw all the smirks, was he really checking me out?"
"Shut up Alex."
I pinch his arm, he smacks my side, I put up a hand in surrender.
"So he might likes me what do I do about that?"
"You just be you and get us free drinks."
"Just be me that's enough? I can't believe I'm asking an 11 year old for date tips, how low I have fallen."
Scott gives me the 'you're more than stupid' look. I glance up over his shoulder and yes Armando is watching us. I square my shoulders and try to build up some courage. I remember this being so much easier. It's been over a year since I though seriously about dating anyone but like mom always said work with what you get and Armando was a lot to work with.
Scott trails after me to the counter. There is a girl behind the register ringing people up, she is pretty with a long mess of black hair and a wide full smile. There is another girl tall, blond, curve, with a crooked smile making drinks. I get in line and look for Gabe he is leaning against the far end of the counter talking to Armando, he has to stand on tiptoe to reach the top of the counter. The line moves fast and reforms at the end of the counter where people wait for their drinks. When we get to the counter I realize I have no idea what to order. I squint up at the signs the girl who name tag reads Angel gives me a half patient, half amused smile.
"Um I don't know what it's called it had chocolate peanut butter caramel it's ummm It's heaven in a cup."
She laughs out loud from the startle look the blond girl gives her I guess it's not something she does often, she does look more like a smile than a laugh type.
"Sorry cutie we don't have a drink called heaven in a cup."
Armando comes to stand next to her; he's smirking again.
"We do now. I've got their drinks Angel go lock the door and start closing."
She gives him a look eyebrow arched, smirk on her face, he waves her off she goes with a wave in my direction.
Armando looks at Scott who stands at my side.
"You want the same drink from last night."
Scott shrugs looking all calm and too cool for school "I'll take whatever you want to make."
Armando nods to where Gabe is frowning down at a display of cups.
"The wild child had a very long set of directions for his drink."
Scott rolls his eyes. "You don't have to make it, Gabe only 6 and a bit dent in the head"
Armando laughs, "I'll make it, sounds pretty good."
Scott perks up "I'll take what Gabe is having."
Armando looks at me eyebrow lifted.
"I want what you made last night."
He nods and walks off. The blond girl waits till he is on the other side of the bar before coming over a wide smile on her face.
"So you lot got names"
Scott opens his mouth to talk I cover it with my hand. I'm not interested in being the topic of interest in the staff room.
"No we are nameless"
Scott glares at me and licks the palm of my hand. I yank my hand away cradling it against my stomach.
"You are disgusting."
He smirks up at me than looks at the blond girl the smirks slips into a smile and I get it.
"Umm I'm Scott this asshole is Alex and the little one over there is Gabe"
Blond girl nods, offers Scott a hand.
"I'm Raven and I have never seen you guys around before"
Scott leans on the counter and looks up at her eyes wide and dreamy.
"We only found this place last night we love it"
She looks from Scott to me.
"You guys brothers"
Scott nods "yes"
She smiles "I have a big brother he use to take me around with him all the time until he finished college than he got a bit of a big head. You're lucky your brother still hangs out with you."
Scott blushes and shots me a questioning look I know what he's asking. I shake my head and walk off to stand next to Gabe who is playing with a green tumbler.
"You break it you buy it."
He looks up at me and smiles.
"I wouldn't mind it's cool, look."
He shakes it and the colors on the side change.
"You are so easily impressed."
He snorts. Scott calls out my name I turn around and Raven is gone but Armando is back with 3 drinks and smaller sample cups. We all try Gabe's drink except Armando. Angel, Raven, and Scott love it I think it's too much. My drink is perfection.
We hang around a little while Scott tries to chat up Raven. Angel puts up chairs with a smile on her face, Gabe organize the cup display I am left alone with Armando.
He steps back from the counter
"I'm going to go for a smoke."
"I'll come watch you smoke."
He shakes his head smiles and leads the way out front. I watch him light the cigarette he has very nice hands. He's looking at me, watching me watching his hands.
"You are an odd one Mr. Summers"
I lean back against the shop door. "Why do you say that?"
He lets out a puff of smoke. "I'm good at reading people and I don't get you at all."
"You could try asking me questions."
He smirks. "True, would you answer them?"
"Ask."
"What's up with you and your tag along brothers?"
"Try something easier for a first question."
He smokes his cigarette watching the street.
"How old are you."
"18 almost 19 that's too easy."
"What you're favorite book."
"What makes you think I like to read?"
He drops the cigarette on the floor, steps on it.
"I was hoping you did."
"I do, I don't really have a favorite but I am reading lord of the rings to Gabe."
"He actually sits still long enough."
"At bed time he's stuck in bed, it's reading or sleeping."
He nods looks at me like he knows something I don't. Then he's there in my space I can feel the heat coming off his body.
"Can I kiss you Alex Summers?"
I nod, lick my lips, he bend forward, I lean up, his mouth is warm, he bites my lower lip, I open under him. My hands fine their way to his shoulders. He presses me back into the door, fuck I'm so hard right now, thank God for baggy work jeans. He pulls out the kiss, I pull him back press a kiss against his mouth. He's watching my mouth, I lick my lips, he leans in and licks my lips.
"You taste delicious."
I laugh. "What do I taste like?"
He licks his lips "Heaven."
I laugh, he leans in I pull him closer. We stand there and make out for a while.
Armando is sucking on my tongue when I hear a bang behind me. We pull apart. I turn around and Angel, Raven, Scott and Gabe are standing there looking very interested. I turn back around.
"Fuck"
Armando laughs and pulls me away from the door.
"Fuck" I press my face against his chest he warp his arms around my waist and this feel nice.
"So Alex, you coming by tomorrow."
I shake my head not moving it from where it rested against his chest.
"Why not"
"I have both jobs tomorrow."
"You have two jobs?"
"It complicated."
He steps back so he can see my face I say nothing I'm not ready to talk about it. I've never had to explain it to anyone, everyone that needs to know already knew.
"Okay what about Wednesday."
"Um I could maybe do Wednesday but Saturday in the evening works best."
"You work two jobs all week."
"Well um yes mostly, Wednesday I get off early but I normal run earns and do laundry and clean shit, I only work one job on the weekends but Friday after work Gabe has baseball practice. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry there is no reason for you to be. You got a cell phone."
"Of course."
"Give me your number."
"Was that you asking?"
He gives my waist a squeeze. "No that was me telling, problem?"
I lean up and press a kiss to his mouth "Nope give me your phone."
He hands me his phone I add my number to his phone book.
"You going to call me."
He smirks at me. "Definitely."
"Good. I have to go but I look forward to your call." I start walking to where Gabe and Scott stand deep in some random conversation I'm almost there when Armando catches up to me he turns me toward him. I laugh and he kisses me, I cling to his forearms, just a bit. He lets me go reluctant I straighten out his tee shirt.
"Call me."
"Yes. I'll see you on Wednesday?"
"Definitely."
He walks off in the opposite direction. Gabe runs up to me and punches my arm.
"Scott said you could do it. I had some doubts but I'm glad to be proven wrong."
"Shut up Gabe."
I start us off toward the car. Scott waits till we are almost home before turning to look at me with a big old shit-eating grin on his face.
"Told you he liked you."
"Yeah, well everyone needs to be right at least once in their life."
Scott rolls his eyes so hard I'm surprised they don't roll out his head.
"I'm always right."
"Of course you are."
We get home, I make a fast dinner get Gabe in the shower and put down for bed. He is in no way tired and it takes me an hour of reading to get him to sleep.

Armando calls the next day when I am in the middle of trying to help a customer make a sandwich. He calls the second time when I am in the boss's office getting bitched out for being rude to the customer who took 28 minutes to make a sandwich. The third time he calls I just got off lunch and my boss is watching me. The fourth times he calls I'm driving home but what the hell, I answer.
"Hi"
He laughs, "I've been calling you."
"I know and I really wanted to answer but shit kept happening and on my break I had to go return these pants that don't fit Gabe but we are talking now or I'm talking, I'll shut up now."
"Are you off work now?"
"Yes driving actually. I'm going to stop off at home than head back out to the gas station."
"You work there?"
"Monday Tuesday Thursdays, sometime weekends."
"I might come see you."
"You should do that."
I pull up in front my house. Gabe and Scott are in the front yard, they are covered in mud; they are smacking each other with foam bats. The dogs are also cover in mud fighting each other.
"I have to go."
"Why so soon."
"They're all covered in mud I have to be at work in an hour. I have to hose them down and chain them to the bed."
He laughs "I'll come see you at work."
"Okay"
He hangs up I pocket my phone get out the car brace myself and start yelling.

It take 45 minutes to get them half way clean enough to shove them indoors toward the bathroom, the dogs are ban from the house till I can clean them. I'm late Cam gives me an evil glare I ignore as I run to the back to put my stuff down. When I get back out front he leaves. I am glad to be left alone. I put on my headphone and read my book. A few people come in to buy candy or soda I can tell they are not from town just passing through from one point to another. I always wanted to go on a road trip that's not going to happen anytime soon. There is no way I could leave Scott and Gabe behind and I couldn't afford to take the three of us on the road.
"What are you thinking so hard about."
I sit up the book that was on my lap tumbles to the floor. Armando is leaning against the counter smirks at me.
"Road trips. How long have you been there?"
He shrug "Not long, why road trips."
"No reason."
He stands up straight looks around the store.
"This must be a horrible boring job"
"I like it... I mean I don't like it but I like the whole quiet thing."
"Quiet can be nice."
He is watching me like he wants to ask something but won't and I want to know what he's thinking.
"My parents are dead" The words just tumble out of my mouth and I don't know why I wanted him to know that but he should know.
"How long?"
"Almost a year."
He nods. "So it's you and the munchkins."
"Yes, I guess I mean Scott is 11 now and I can leave them alone when I go to work but not long term you know."
"So no road trips for you."
I look out the window at a group of 20 something, standing in between two cars all bright and happy smiling in the sun.
"No road trips for me."
"You should go on a date with me Saturday night."
"What?" and I know my face is bright stupid red.
He laughs "a date, dinner, a movie, talking."
"Why would we do that?"
He leans across the counter his fingers close around the front of my shirt he pulls me towards him, his lips meet mine and I melt. We pull apart, he straights out my shirt, I run a finger over his very perfect mouth.
"You convinced me dinner and a movie Saturday night."
"You can bring the munchkins if you want."
"I don't want to but thanks for inviting them, I will make sure to tell them you did before I tell them they can't come."
I lean forward and kiss him again.
He hangs around for most of my shift. We redo the candy display according to our taste and redo the drinks in alphabet order. We talk about everything and nothing. 15 minutes before my shift is done I send him away with a kiss.
"I'll come see you at work tomorrow."
He press a kiss to my mouth. "What time."
"I get off work at the deli around 4 so sometime after that."
He leans in and we kiss again slow and easy. The door opens a customer walk in, he pulls out the kiss.
"Tomorrow."
"Ya."
He leans in kisses me again, than he is gone. I suck in a breath let it out slowly I have no idea what I'm doing. Now is not the time to start some relationship with some super hot complete awesome dude. He is an awesome kisser. I lean against the counter and let my mind drift to thoughts of sex on counter tops.
When Cane shows up for his shift I head home.

The next day I get to work late. I over sleep and woke up so fucking hard I had to jack off in the shower before actual cleaning myself off and getting dressed. Time moves incredibly slow and I get five annoyingly dumb customers who don't know how to fill their own fucking gas tanks. By the time four rolls around I'm ready to stab someone in the face with a pen. Cane is 3o minutes late. I leave the shop pissed off. When I get home Scott and Gabe are in the living room which is a mess and evidences of their chocolate and ice cream lunch sitting on the coffee table.
"You guys suck so hard."
Gabe look innocent, thumb stuck in his mouth. Scott at least looks guilty.
"We ran out of lunch meat."
"You should have called me or eaten peanut butter and jelly. Seriously little dudes chocolate and ice cream and I'm suppose to take you out and get you more ice cream."
I walk away before they can say anything.
I dig through my clothes which are all pretty crappy trying to find something decent to wear. I spend a while try to find something to wear not too casual but not to dressed up. I find a decent balance. I am trying to fix my hair when Scott comes into my bedroom. He sits on my bed. "I'm sorry Alex, it seemed like a good idea at the time."
"I'm sure it did Scott, forget about it. We use to do it all the time."
He smiles a little pulls his knees up and rest his chin on top of them. It had been easier when I was just the big brother when I was just a sometimes babysitting. Feeding them ice cream for lunch had been a part of the older brother duty now it was making sure they actually got vegetable and fruit into their system.
"It's not okay Alex, I'm sorry I made it harder. Tomorrow I'll make peanut butter and jelly."
I step away from the mirror, press a kiss to the top of Scott head.
"Stop trying to help me so much, take a page from Gabe's book feel free to be a brat."
He rolls his eyes.
I look back at the mirror "How do I look."
"It's been an hour there is nothing else you can do to fix your face"
"Be helpful or get out."
He tosses himself backwards on my bed rolling on his side.
"There is nothing to help."
"My hair"
"Is fine please Alex let's go before Gabe tries to feed the dogs chocolate ice cream."
"Fine we are leaving now"
I give my hair one final tug and drag Scott out my bed.

When we get to the shop it's packed, there are no free tables and Armando is nowhere to be seen. Gabe pulls away from me to get closer to the counter, I stand in line. I can't even see the counter from where I'm standing. Gabe comes back a moment later with a sample cup full of what looks like chocolate ice cream.
"Where did you get that?"
"Wouldn't you like to know. Angel say we need to come back in like 2 or 3 hours when it's not so full and the boss is on break."
I look around the shop there is no reason to pretend like I wasn't looking for him.
"Kay we'll be back later"
Scott shoulders slump down. "I'm thirst"
"You can ask for a cup of water"
"Asshole"
I laugh and lead them out the shop.

I take them to get burgers it's pushing my budget but I know all they have eaten since breakfast was junk. Scott orders a small burger I change his order to a bigger one he glare but I know he's hungry. We sit and eat. Scott eats his whole burger all his fries and some of Gabe. I give him a smug look.
"I only ate it cuz you got it."
"You where hunger little monster."
He glares and I laugh. He kicks me under the table I reach across the table and pinch his arm. He rubs his arm.
"You're the monster you big bully."
"Whatever tiny boy let's get out of here, where do you want to go."
Gabe pouts. "Why does he get to pick."
"Because he finished all his food and we had to help you with yours and you still didn't finish it."
He looks down at his food. "Ice cream taste better."
"That is why he gets to pick."
I slide out the booth and clean up our mess I dump it in the trash the brats trial after me. Scott leans into my side.
"Can we go to the bookstore?"
"Of course."
I sling an arm over his shoulder and grab Gabe hand, we head off toward the bookstore.
We end up in the back of the bookstore a stack of books between me and Scott. Gabe seats himself in my lap and refuses to move. I read around him.

When we get back to the shop it's almost empty. Gabe runs up to the counter Angel laughs and takes his order, me and Scott walk at a normal pace. Raven smirks at me.
"The boss is in the office if you want to go say hi."
"What if I'm here for a drink?"
She snorts, rolls her eyes. "The boss is in the office if you want to go say hi."
"You're a smartass I can tell."
She tosses her hair over her shoulder and gives me a slow wink. "I'm also a tease."
I laugh, she drag me behind the counter and pushes me toward the office.
"I'll keep an eye on your brothers."
"Two eyes, keep two eyes on them, they're monsters."
She waves me off. "I'll deal with them."
I knock on the door.
"It's open."
I push the door open, Armando looks up from his computer.
"Alex."
"Raven forced me back here are you busy."
"No just finishing something."
He start to stand, I slip into the room closing the door behind me.
"Finish up, I'll just sit here and wait."
I drop into the chair across from his desk. He drops back into his seat and starts types something a frown on his face. I look over the office, there are pictures all over the walls of a lot of different people, I spot Angel and Raven in some. There is a row of small lockers, a file cabinet, a sofa in the corner, a closet and an overcrowded bookshelf. It looks comfortable, lived in.
He clicks something and sits back.
"Done"
"What were you doing."
"Schedules for the next three weeks."
"I don't want Raven mad at me if her hours get messed up."
"She'll never know."
I laugh. And slide lower in the chair I watch him, he look at his hands, when he looks up meets my gaze I smile
"Hi."
He laughs. "I thought you would be here earlier."
"I was it was packed so I went to feed the brats and now I'm back."
"Come here."
I slide out my chair and go to him, he pulls me down into his lap, I warp my arms around his neck and lean in to kiss him. This is easy like making out in my room before my parent got home. I press against him, he rubs his hand down my back. There is a knock on the door.
"Boss man I need pennies like now."
We pull a part, he looks annoyed I kiss his chin.
"Get the women her pennies."
I climb out his lap, he opens the safe gets the pennies and goes back outside, he comes back toss money in the safe locks it and pulls me against him. I laugh into the kiss, we stay like that warped around each other. There is a knock on the door.
"Boss man can I take break.
We pull apart.
He glares at the door. "Go smoke a fucking cigarette Raven."
She laughs, we pull apart, I look at the clock.
"I have to go soon, I work early tomorrow and have to stop by the grocery to get real food for the brats."
"You just got here."
"I know, I want to say." I tug on his shirt."I really want to stay but you know."
He nods, gives my hip a squeeze, I lean in kiss his mouth.
"You can come see me tomorrow at the gas station, maybe, if you want."
"I'll come see you."
"And Saturday we have a date."
"I'll call you tonight."
"Oaky, ya I'll answer."
He laughs and kisses me again and I never really liked the whole kissing thing, I only did it because who ever I was with seem to really be into it but Armando makes it feel good, natural, hot as hell. I pull away.
"We have to stop now because I am going to make a mess if we keep going."
He laughs. I give his arm a shove.
"So not funny."
"A little funny."
"Not at all."
He kisses me behind my ear.
"You are so fucking pretty."
"Sexy, hot as fuck, yes, pretty no."
He licks the spot behind my ear then bites down. I groan and push against him.
"Pretty Alex so fucking pretty."
"Do that again."
And he does, bits down hard then licks over the bruise.
"Fuck Armando we have to not do this I'm going mess up my pants."
He pulls back, I don't let him go far, drag him in for another kiss. He licks the inside of my mouth, I groan and try to pull away he doesn't let me, just pushes me against the wall rocks against me and I know this is going to be bad.
He pulls back. "I thought we were stopping."
"Stupid that was stupid thinking, kiss me."
And he does, presses me back against the wall, rubs against me, I lift my leg wrap it around his leg to get better leverage, we press against each other, he pushes my chin back and licks my neck, than bits down and fucking rubs down hard against my dick and I'm coming, seriously fucking coming in my pants. I cling to his shoulders and ride it out. He pulls back watching me eyes blow wide.
"Did you just…"
"Yes, fuck, let's not talk about it."
He smiles a slow easy thing that makes him so fucking perfect. I close my eyes and breath slow, I loosen my hold on his shoulders, he pulls away giving me room to breathe.
"Are we stopping now?"
I open my eyes. "What about you?"
He shakes his head. "I'm fine."
I glance at his obvious hard on.
"Liar."
"I'll be fine."
I roll my eyes and unzip his pants.
"Alex."
"Shut up Armando, I'm 18 year old, I've given a hand job before stop looking at me like I'm a fucking unicorn."
"A unicorn really Alex."
"Shut it old man you know what I mean."
I give his dick a tug, he sucks in a sharp breath and pushes forward into my hand, I smirks and lean in for a kiss. I jerk him slow and easy, run my finger nail over the vain on the underside of his dick, he groan into my mouth and fucks my hand, he press a kiss to my mouth and put his hand on the wall to brace himself, I like the easy way he leans into me, curls over me. It doesn't take him long to come warm and wet in my hand. I pull my hand out his pants, zip him up and press a kiss to his chin.
"Now you don't have to spend the rest of the night with a raging hard on.
"I would have dealt with it."
"But you like my idea better."
He kisses me. "Yes yours was the better way."
"Wonderful. Get me something to clean my hand with."
"Bathroom."
I look down at the wet spot on my jeans
"I have to hide this."
He goes to the closet and pulls out his jacket.
"Wrap it around your waist."
"Old school."
"Shut up and take it."
I wave my come covered hand in his face. "How about no."
He rolls his eyes and warps the jacket around my waist ties it off and checking to make sure it covers the wet spot. He leads me out to the bathroom. I wash my hand and try to fix my hair, my lips look swollen and red, there are 3 mouth shaped bruises on my neck.
"So we don't at all look like we were doing dirty things in your office."
He presses a kiss to my neck, licking at one of the bruises.
"I think you look perfect."
I roll my eyes. "Pervert."
"Says the boy who just jerked me off in my office."
"I wear my pervert badge proudly."
"You're leaving now."
I nod. "You're calling me."
He nods. I turn and kiss him, he pulls me closers. I could do this all night but the brats are waiting. I step back and open the door. We leave the bathroom, his hand in mine, we walk down the short hall to the front. Raven laughs out loud when she sees us, I flip her off. Armando orders her to take out the trash. Angel gives me a dirty smirk. I wave bye and drag Scott and Gabe out the shop heading home.

Saturday takes too long to come. Armando calls Wednesday night after I get home from the shop, we don't get to talk long. He comes to the gas station on Thursday night but doesn't get to stay long. Friday evening is spent watching Gabe's baseball team destroy some out of town team. After the game I go home and pass out. When I wake up I am late for work. I have two missed calls from Armando. I dress fast and race to work were my boss is nowhere to be seen. The day takes it's sweet time. I swear the second hand on the clock moved backward twice. Than I am finally finally finally free and only 4 hours away from my date. I stop myself from running across the parking lot to my car, just barely.
When I get home the house has been cleaned, the dogs are clean and Gabe and Scott are sitting calmly in the living room playing a video game.
"What the fuck?"
They smile up at me, wide-eyed and innocent.
"Are you clones or robots?"
Gabe laughs, Scott rolls his eyes.
"We want you to have a good date and no worries."
"You have me worried right now."
"Don't be stupid Alex, go get ready."
I go because there is nothing obviously wrong.
I shower, dress and leave them in the living room playing video games. I am deadly afraid I will come home to a destroyed house; they are never this good. I get to the shop Armando is waiting out front looking sharp as fuck. I forget all about the brats.

Armando pushes away from the wall and meets me half way.
"Um hi"
He laughs and tosses an arm over my shoulder.
We walk together I slip my arm around his waist.
"Where do you want to eat?"
I glance over at him, he is watching me again, he does that a lot.
"Where ever you want is cool nothing to fancy, I'm on a budget."
"I asked you out Alex I'm paying."
"Those rules are written where."
"Take it as a gift."
I stop and pull away from him I know I am being stupid but I am not a kid.
"I can take care of myself."
He pulls me in for a kiss I think about fighting it but he sucks on my lower lip and I give in.
"You can take care of yourself Alex and your brothers but you shouldn't have to."
I laugh and let him slide his hands down over my hips.
"So you want to take care of me."
"Fuck yes."
I pull him in for another kiss. I pull away to give him a smile.
"We should go find food."
"Why the sudden rush."
"I'm hungry you're paying come on."
I step out of his hold he doesn't let me go far his arm is back around my shoulder and I don't mind at all.
He takes me to a small restaurant tuck away in a corner on a busy street. I've seen it for a long time and never thought to go in. Armando seems to know everyone who works there. We sit in a small booth tucked away in a corner. I look around the place.
"What kind of food do they serve here?"
"World fusion, anything Cook feels like making. There is no real menu they make prints out every week or so."
"That is kind of cool how do I know what I want."
A waiter shows up with a paper printout and a smirk.
"I'm sure you don't need this Armando, Cook is always willing to make whatever you want."
Armando takes the printout.
"Be a good boy tonight Ben."
The waiter, Ben rolls his eyes and walks off.
"How often do you come here?"
He shrugs "enough, pick something."
I take the offered paper. Everything sounds damn good. I end up letting Armando pick. We talk while we wait. The food is amazing, I try to eat slow and polite but it's hard. I sit back and wipe my mouth and realize I've been doing most of the talking; our main course is cleared by a smirking Ben. Coffee and cake is brought out. I sip my coffee, I rest the cup on the table and meet Armando gaze.
"So when do you start telling me about yourself."
"I talk about myself."
"Liar, you say vague, general things. Are you a crazed murderous villain?"
He covers his mouth and laughs.
I arch a brow. "Spilt some coffee."
He chocks a little, laughs a little more.
"I can assure you I am not a villain."
"Okay how about an age?"
"24."
"How long have you had the shop?"
"3 years."
"Since you where 21 how did you manage that?"
"I have my ways."
"Ah more secrets."
"I could tell you everything but then I would have to kill you."
"No you won't."
He's watching me again a smile on his face. "You're right I won't."
I take a bit of cake and melt. "This is amazing"
"Cook does make good cake."
I nod and finish off my cake in 6 big bites than I drag his over and start in on it.
"I was going to eat that."
"You took too long."
I finish off his slice at a slower pace.
"Where are you from?"
"New York originally, but I've been here 4 years."
"Why did you come here, New York sounds awesome."
"It has its perks but so does this town."
"Are you going to go back to New York?"
"Maybe, are you done with all the questions?"
"Not really, why?"
"I was thinking of better things to do with your mouth."
I laugh and cough than laugh some more "You did not just feed me that cheap line?"
He laughs and closes the space between us. Someone makes an annoyed sound, we separate, Ben stands there smirking check in hand. Armando snatches the check and waves Ben away. He pays the check I take his hand and lead him out the restaurant.

On the walk over to the theater we keep stopping to looking in store windows. By the time we make it to the theater the movie we agreed on is sold out. We pick a movie at random, Armando pays. I am still full from dinner but I don't turn down the offer of a slushy and candy. By the time we get into the theater the last commercial is ending and previews are starting. I let Armando pick the seats, the theater is mostly empty I guess everyone wanted to see the other movie. We end up way up in the back. I slouch down in my seat put my feet up on the chair in front of me and drink my slushy and steal popcorn from Armando big tub. It's been ages since I've been to the movies without the brats. It feels nice not being poked in the side, stillness is nice. I'm done with my slushy before the previews are over.
"What are you going to drink for the rest of the movie?"
"Nothing previews are the best part anyway."
He laughs and pulls his popcorn away from my hand.
"Share"
"You're going to eat the whole thing before the movie starts."
I pout, he tangles our fingers together and rests our hands on his knee, I shift closer. The movie starts, I can't pay attention I keep watching him. It's too dark to really see him but the light from the screen is almost enough. He turns to look at me.
"You are not going to watch this movie are you?"
"No, I don't think so, sorry."
He leans across the space and kisses me, I press into the kiss. He shoves the armrest up so we can get closer. He kisses like he wants to memorize my mouth. I want to get closer. I pull away.
"Let me get in your lap."
He nods lets me climb over him settling my legs on either side of his. He drags me back in for a kiss. It's been 18 months since I last made out in a movie theater. I don't remember it feeling quite this good. His hands run up my legs griping my hips, I can feel him hard against my butt I push down he gasp into my mouth, his hand tighten their hold on my hips. I drag my lips away from him brace myself with my hand on his shoulders, it been to long since anyone but me touched me.
"Alex. Fuck!"
"Definitely yes let's do that but not here."
He laughs, shifting me to rest full against his dick, I rock against it he closes his eyes and I could get off from this I think, watching him. His hand moves under my shirt, warm, large, against my back. I push into the touch, lean down and kiss him. I feel hot, too fucking hot and suddenly this doesn't seem like the best idea, I pull out the kiss try to catch my breath, it been ages since I felt this reckless. Armando presses a kiss to my neck, sucks hard on the skin. I bit my lips.
I am so fucking close and this is stupid, so fucking stupid. He licks my collarbone his hands move down to grab my ass. I feel hot, too hot on the inside and I am fucking close, he squeezes my ass rocking me forward than back, his mouth feels like fire where it touches my skin and I want more, nothing but skin between us, to feel burnt up everywhere. I know I am being noisy but I can't shut myself up. My skin feels like it will burn up leaving nothing behind.
It's been exactly 2 years and 3 weeks since I last accidentally set anything on fire. He rocks up I tighten my hold on his shoulder, shut my eyes try to ride out the wave of heat. This was the worst best idea I ever had. I stop moving try to catch my breath.
"We need to stop"
"Alex."
"I need to go now"
I pull away from him, almost fall getting out his lap. He reaches for me, I shove his hands away and I am running. I can feel it; all that heat under my skin. I make it 3 blocks before I know I can't go any further I walk down a narrow alley and go as far back as I can. I let it build, roll over and out of me. It doesn't hurt, hasn't hurt since I was 12 and fell in the park and it tore itself out of me, before I even understood what was happening I accidentally burn up half the tress in the park.
It passes; I sit on the ground glad to be rid of the pressure and heat. The alley is a mess, the dumpster is on fire, there are groves in the concrete floor and on the building walls. I close my eyes and catch my breath it felt bigger longer this time than it has in awhile. I feel so tired I would love to just stretch out here and fall asleep but that would leave the brats alone for too long.
"That was not what I was expecting."
My head jerks up and Armando is standing there, right there like I did not just set an alley on fire.
"Get out of here, Armando. Please "
"You don't have to worry about me, Alex."
"I do, and I don't want to hurt you."
"You can't hurt me Alex."
"You are so wrong about that I still feel it under my skin."
He kneels there beside me runs a hand through my hair, turns my face up to meet his gaze.
"Trust me Alex you can't hurt me."
I shake my head because of course he doesn't understand.
"Do you want me to take you home."
"Yes sorry I can control it sometimes, most times, I'm sorry."
"It's fine Alex come on."
He drags me up and mostly carries me back to my car. After I give him the directions I pass out and wake up in my bed and I know it's a whole new day.

I roll out of bed and go to work at the deli my boss in and being a bitch. Armando calls twice. Scott calls once to remind me to bring home a cake. It's Gabe birthday he is turning a brand new 7. Last year my parent where still alive my mom got him the two husky puppies he named Bert and Erin. He hinted for months that he wanted puppies. He wanted six puppies, he had names picked out for all six but he was happy, more than happy with the two. He hasn't given me any hints about what he wants this year. I'm sure if I gave him a sock he would cry and slobber all over me in joy. For all his bratty ways Gabe is a really good kid. I get off work and ignore two more calls from Armando I'm not ready to explain the whole mutant thing. I get a cake and drive home. I leave the cake in the kitchen and go find my brothers. Scott and Gabe are in the back yard playing with the dogs.
I step out into the yard "Birthday boy."
"Alex your home." Gabe runs to me arms out I catch him and swing him up into my arms. "You monster are getting super heavy monster."
He laughs. "No I'm not."
"Yes you are."
"Noooo I'm light as a feather."
I kiss his cheek. "Yes you are light as a feather. I have a present for you."
He gives me a soft shy look. "Really."
"Of course you're the birthday boy."
"Where."
I carry him into the house and rest him on the floor in the hall. I open the door to the room that had been our father's office. "Go in."
He looks up at me still looking shy. He walks slowly into the room and screams in joy. Scott gives me a bright smile; I sling an arm over his shoulder and watch Gabe cling to the bright red bike. I help him carry the bike out front. I had put training wheel on the bike, he wants to take them off but I make him promise he would keep them on for three months. I rest the bike on the side walk he climbs on and take off.
"Slow down monster."
Gabe waves, he slows down, not by much. I turn to Scott. "You have to watch him extra close from now on."
Scott shrugs. "I don't mind it was a good choice."
"He likes it."
"Where is Armando."
"Why would he be here?"
"Because he is your boyfriend."
"He is not my boyfriend."
"Yes he is and he's been calling you all day and you have not been answering."
"How do you know that?"
He hands me my phone. "You left it on the counter by the cake. What happen?"
"Scott I really don't want to talk about this right now."
"What happen last night?"
"Scott seriously."
"Seriously what happen last night?"
"I explode last night."
"Explode on your date."
"Yes."
He tilts his head to the side and squints his eyes at me. "Have you talked to him about it?"
"Not yet."
"But you will talk to him about it."
"Yes father."
He glares at me. "Don't be an asshole Alex I'm trying to help you out."
"I will call him tonight I just need a little space."
"Fine you might want to go get Gabe."
I look down the block and Gabe is trying to pop a wheel on his bike. I roll my eyes and jog to the end of the block.

I make Gabe favorites food for dinner afterwards we eat cake. It takes forever to get him to bed, he's supper excited about life. I finally let the dogs sleep with him and he fall asleep curled between Bert and Erin. I leave him and go cheek on Scott. He is pasted out in bed, lamp on, glass askew on his face, book on his chest, feet hanging off the bed. I tuck him under the sheet, rest the book and his glasses on his night table kiss his forehead turn of the light. I stop off in the kitchen before going to my room. I curl up in bed with a bottle of Jack and my cell phone. I take a long sip of Jack. There are six text messages from Armando all asking me to call him. He left a voice mail it's just my name nothing more. I hang up my phone and drink a little more. I never wanted to be a mutant when my power first showed up I was a nightmare for months. My dad took weeks off work and spent them with me in the back yard helping me get control. I never really told anyone about my powers Scott and Gabe knew, of course my parent knew and Lorena knew. I never made a mistake like last night, not in public. I look at my pone it vibrate Armando name on the screen, I hit ignore. Tomorrow I'll call him, tomorrow. I take another sip of Jack.

I roll over with a headache and know I'm late for work.
"Fuck."
I look at the clock consider getting up and actually going to work, spending 8 hours taking orders, cutting meat and restocking chips. I lie back down and roll on my side. There's no way I am getting up. I fall back to sleep.
I wake to Gabe's high-pitched scream of no and Scott thunderous yes. I pick up the shoe next to my bed and hurl it at the door, it impacts with a loud thump the hallway goes silent. I roll back over press my face against the pillow and sleep.

I wake again to the sound of something heavy being drag across the floor. I sit up, the clock says it's just after four.
I roll my eyes and scream. "Put it the fucking back Gabe."
It's quiet in the hall, than the sound of something heavy being pushed in the opposite direction. I lie back down and almost get back to sleep there is a soft knock on the door followed by Scott almost whispers.
"Alex"
"What."
"It's late do you want something to eat."
"No"
I press my face back into the pillow. I sleep again.

I wake to crying, Gabe's loud desperate "for real" sobs. I am out of bed yanking open the door before I'm even sure I'm awake. The last time he cried like that we were putting our parents in the ground. He is sitting on the top step, knees pressed to his chest, arms wrapped around his legs; his whole body is shaking. I go to him. He looks up eyes wide and red, he's breathing hard. I reach for him he lifts his arms and I pull him up, let him press his wet face against my neck, arms tight around my shoulders, feet laced around my waist, I rub his back.
"I'm sorry Gabriel. Fuck, I'm so sorry"
He shakes his head; pulls back enough for me to see his face, he sniffles.
"Scott's eyes explode."
"What"
He is crying again I run down the stairs.
"Scott, where are you? Scott"
I am moving toward the living room.
"Calm down Alex"
I turn around and yes Armando is standing in the doorway to my kitchen.
"What are you doing here?"
He looks ridiculous tired like he hasn't sleep in a week."
"Scott called me he didn't want to wake you."
"What happened? Why would he call you?"
Armando waves me toward the kitchen. Scott is sits in a chair next to the sink a big plastic cup half full of water in his hands. His knees and arms are cut up. His eyes are closed tight.
"What happened Scott?"
He says nothing. I try to put Gabe down but he whimpers like a hurt puppy and clings to me. I go to Scott run my fingers throw his hair.
"Scott"
He doesn't say anything just shakes his head. Armando comes to stand next to him.
"It's okay Scott I don't think you can hurt Alex and it should have died down by now."
Scott shakes his head and I realized he is trying not to cry and I am scared.
"Scott open you fucking eyes right now."
He let out a long breath and slowly lifts his lids; his eyes are bright red nothing but bright burning red.
"What the fuck"
He closes them quickly, shoulder slumping forward. I hug him as best I can with Gabe still clinging to me. Armando tugs on Gabe who fights for a moment than let Armando lift him away from me. I warp myself around Scott who falls against me. The cup falls from his hand tumbles to the floor spilling water everywhere.
Scott talks against my chest.
"We were in the backyard, my eyes where itching I fell and then I saw red and then it just came out and hit the tree, everything was so bright it hurt a lot and then Gabe was crying and I could see but everything was still red, the tree was broken in half. I tried to get up and it came out again I brunt a hole in the grass so I closed my eyes and made Gabe go steal your cell phone."
"Why did you call Armando I was right upstairs"
He is quite. Armando answers
"Because he figured I would know what to do."
"Why would you know what to do?"
I turn to look at him remembering how soft his lips felt against mine, how perfect his hands fit on my hip and that I know nothing about him.
"I use to live with Professor X"
"In New York you went to the mutant school?"
He nods, shrugs, Gabe let out an annoyed whimper and tug on Armando shirt, he rubs Gabe's back and Gabe settles mostly to sleep on his shoulder.
"That is something you might have told me."
"I was working up to it and it's not like you told me you had powers."
I want to tell him it's not the same but mostly it is the same.
"What are your powers?"
He smirks. "I adapt"
"What the fuck does that even mean?"
"It means I change to fit the situation."
Scott tugs on my shirt I turn back to him.
"I hit him with my blast when he first showed up and I open my eyes and he just kind of shifted around absorbed everything it was cool."
I glance at Armando over my shoulder.
"That could be useful unlike plasma beams coming out of an 11 year old boys eyes."
He meets my gaze head on. "Your right and this is kind of extreme but not the worst I have seen. Plus we know where to go for help."
"I'm not letting someone look into my brothers"
"Professor X can help him Alex. Right now he can't keep his eyes open for longer than a few minutes."
He is right of course this is not like my powers that come and go, it seems Scott eyes are really just like this.
"Fine but we go now and there is no talk of staying"
"I'll call ahead we can take my car."
"Fuck"
He gives me a soft smile and walks out the room, Gabe still asleep on his shoulder.

I hug Scott hard and leave him in the kitchen. I pack 3 bags because I don't know how long this will take and Gabe goes through clothes like it's paper. I go back to Scott help him change in to clean clothes. I clean his cuts and settle him in the living room with my iPod. He would prefer a book but he can't keep his eyes open long enough. I try not to think of a world where my little brother will never be able to open his eyes. I call out at the gas station for a few weeks for a family emergency. I try to call out at the deli but I end up cursing out my boss and quitting. Which leave me with another fucking problem to solve.
I go back to the living room to find Armando sitting next to Scott. Gabe is curled up in his lap, Scott's eyes are squeezed shut his head resting on Armando shoulder, Armando is reading to them. I try not to think too hard on the warm melty feeling that start somewhere in my chest and spread outward.
"We can go now."
He looks up, Scott yawns. I carry the bags to the car he carries Gabe and helps Scott walk. I hope this Professor X guy is as good as ever one says he is.

The drive takes forever. I feel jittery lost and kind of high. Scott and Gabe sleep in the back curled into each other. Armando drives eyes forward. I have no words to give him so I sit and say nothing.
By hour 3 I feel calmer. Of course Scott would get powers too why should
I have all the fun. At hour four it dawns on me that Gabe will most likely get power too and I curse out loud. Armando turns to look at me.
"Do I even want to know?"
I glance back at Gabe who is drooling all over Scott's tee shirt.
"Gabe going to get powers I know he will, it's going to be something big and he is going to destroy everything."
Armando laughs. I smack his arm.
"It's funny now and when he smash up your car will you laugh than?"
"He might not even get powers."
I snort. There is no way Gabe won't be a mutant. I looked over at Armando; he is watching the road.
"How did you find out about your powers?"
"Long story, short version I should have died but I didn't."
"That is a very short story."
"It does the job."
"How well do you know Professor X?"
"Very well he's a nice guy trying to do the right thing."
"How long where you at the mansion"
He is quiet so long and I think he's not going to getting a little jump my foot taping out a beat on the floor of the car.
When he speaks his voice is soft thougful."3 years, give or take a few months. I found him when I was 15."
"There is so much you are not telling me"
He looks away from the road to give me a serious look. "I will tell you Alex, cross my heart, just not now."
"I'll take that for now but I want answers."
H nods. "You'll get them."
He looks back to the road. I tap my foot to a different beat.
" Are we there yet?"
He smiles I see a flash of white teeth, he is to fucking beautiful. I look out the window. I can wait.

When we get there it's after midnight. Armando parks in the garage and grabs 2 of the three bags and Scott. I grab the last bag and Gabe. We take a side door down a long hallway that leads to a kitchen. Armando punches in a code, the door opens. There are two men in sweats and tee shirts sitting at a huge breakfast isle. The smaller one looks up and smiles I know he's Professor X, I've seen him on TV but he looks impossibly young sitting there, sipping hot chocolate, hair falling in his face.
"Armando you are 30 minutes early."
Armando laughs. "The roads where empty Professor."
Professor X slide out his seat and offers me a hand.
"Charles Xavier. The silent man over there is Erik."
I shake his hand and try not to stare at Erik who was always talked about on television but never shown.
"Alex Summers. This one is Gabriel, Armando got Scott."
He looks at me, I feel like he is digging into my mind. I know that is what his power is: mind rape.
"You are safe here Alex. I will not invade your mind, right now you are screaming keep out. I will respect you wishes."
I snort, than bit my lip. Armando smirks at me and I remember the manners my mom taught me.
"Thank you Professor. Sorry to bother you so late."
"It's fine. Come I'll show you boys to your rooms. I put you in the room next to Darwin"
I turn to look at Armando.
"Darwin?"
He shakes his head "Later"
"You have a room here"
"I lived here, where did you think I sleep the garage?"
"Maybe"
He shoves me, I shove him back.
We walk up two flights of steps and then down a long corridor. Professor X stops in front of a large wooden door than pushes it open.
"Your room. I put two beds in here and two in Darwin's room I figure two a room would be fine"
"Yes that's awesome thank you."
He gives me a small pleasant smile.
"You are very welcome after breakfast we can talk. For now good night."
He walks back down the corridor I turn to Armando. I would prefer to go to his room lock the door and curl up next to him. Realistically if Gabe wakes up in a strange bed he will freak out.
"They can both stay with me. Gabe is going to sleep in my bed and Scott can take the spear."
He moves into the room, drops the bags on the floor and rest Scott on the bed.
"I'll be next door."
I drop Gabe on the bed and the bag on the floor than follow Armando out into the hall.
"Thank you."
"It was no problem Alex"
I reach for him he lets me tug him close. I lean into his space he leans down and kiss me. I press into the kiss letting him take control. He pulls back a smile in the curve of his mouth.
"Sleep well Alex"
"I would sleep better in your bed"
"But duty calls"
"Duty is a filthy bitch"
He kisses my nose "you are something else."
"Something special"
"Special Ed"
I smack his arm, he pinches my side. I pull away laughing.
"See you in the morning."
"Yes"
He pushes me into my room and closes the door. I look at the two sleeping lumps and give up on changing anybody clothes. I settle for pulling off shoes and tucking them in. Then I pull off my shoes and stretch out next to Gabe.

Gabe wakes up first and smacks me till I get up. I sit up and shove him backward into the bed.
"Stop hitting me you little bitch."
"Where are we?"
"The mansion."
He frowns and wiggles against my hold.
"Where is that? Let me go I won't hit you anymore."
I let him go he sits up.
"Upstate New York."
"Is Scott going to be okay?"
"Yes he is going to be perfectly fine."
"Alex"
We turn to look at the other bed. Scott is sitting up eyes close tight but obviously awake.
"You okay Scott."
"Mostly I'm hungry."
"Okay let me just go get Armando don't open your eyes or anything."
"My eyes are really itchy."
"Okay one sec."
I hop out of bed and go next door. I knock on the door. A moment later it swings open. Armando stands there look well rested and hot as hell dressed in just jeans, I smirk.
"Hi there sexy."
He laughs. "What do you want Summers."
"Help with Scott."
"I'm coming."
He goes back into the room and come back out with a shirt on.
"You didn't need the shirt."
He gives my shoulder a shove. "You're a pervert."
"Nothing wrong with that."
He opens the door to my room. Gabe is sitting next to Scott leaning in to his face.
Armando move towards the bed "Move back Gabe."
Gabe scoots over to the other side of the bed. Armando kneels in front of Scott.
"What's wrong Scott."
"My eyes are really itch I need to open them for just a little while."
Armando nods. "I'll put my hand over your eyes and you can open them."
"Won't that hurt you?"
"Not at all Scott, trust me."
Scott lets out a shaky breath his whole body looks pulled tight. "Okay."
Armando puts his hand over Scott's eyes. Scott bits his lip, I can tell he is frowning, than he sneezes. They sit for awhile like that, Armando takes his hand away and Scott eyes are squeezed shut.
"You up for breakfast."
Scott nods. Armando stand stretches.
"I'm going to carry you downstairs so you don't bump into anything, later I can teach how to move with your eyes closed.
Scott tilts his head towards the sound of Armando voice "Oaky can I get a piggyback ride."
Armando squats down in front the bed and puts Scott's hands on his shoulder.
"Hop on."
Scott warps his arms around Armando neck. Armando stands and settles Scott on his back.
"Breakfast."
I wave toward the door. "Lead the way."
He walks past me out the door Gabe follows behind. I stand for a moment in the doorway, suck in a deep breath and let it out slowly. This is not so bad it could have been worst.

After breakfast which Armando cooks for us, we have a meeting in Proffers X office. Scott can keep his eyes open for less the five minutes. Armando earlier theory that his power won't hurt me are proven correct when he accidently forgets to close his eyes and almost burns a hole through Professor X desk. I forget to not be stupid and stand in the way and it kind of just burn off me. He looks up at me eyes wide, mouth hanging open, awe written all over his face, than he remembers to close his eyes. We talk things over. Gabe fidgets a lot till Armando leads him out the room. I make it clear I have no intention of staying long term. Professor X accept this and offers me the use of his training room to test the range of Scott's power and a way to find a starting point in training him how to control it. We leave Professor X office to find Gabe and Armando sitting in the hallway. Gabe has decided to stop talking and responds to all questions with silences. I sigh and accept it, after the accident he didn't talk for two months.

The tests takes the better part of the morning. Professor X works with Scott in the main room I sit in the observation deck and watch. Hank shows up an hour into the testing. Scott seems to like Hank who talks to him with big words and doesn't seem to even consider the fact that Scott won't understand what he is talking about. Around 12, Armando and Gabe show up with food, books and an iPad. I call dibs on the iPad Gabe hands it over with a smirk. He's still not talking but he doesn't look sad and broken so I'll take it. We eat and watch the tests from the small observation room. Scott powers seem as strong as mine. he has no control over them at all. I can tell whatever the Professor is telling him to do is not working. After 3 I hand the iPad over to Gabe who gives me a thumbs up. Armando smirks at me and opens the door for me. I open the door to the test room; Hank looks up as I enter, Professor X is frowning down at Scott who sits on the floor knees drawn up to his chest. I kneel in front of him rest my hand on his small shoulders.
"Scotty you okay."
"Yes. No. Why can't I get it?"
I glance up at Professor X who has moved off to a corner to watch, his hands are back in the pockets of his slacks, his face is blank.
"Every one learns different. What do you see when your power come out."
"Red."
"No I mean in your head do you see anything"
He shakes his head. "I don't think so."
"That's fine when I first got my powers dad told me to think of a spot in my chest make that a vault."
"You want me to think about a vault."
"Yes just build a big vault in your mind make is deep put it behind your eyes"
"What if this doesn't work?"
"Let try it first Scott."
His face wrinkle up and I know he is building his vault.
"I have it, now what"
"Put your power there and lock it down"
"How does that help me control them? I don't want to stop them I want to understand them."
I think about that. I never tried to understand my powers never wanted to. I just wanted them under control so I could forget about them. Scott was different, of course he would want to know everything about his power and he would test them, use them I was sure of that. He would need something more suited to him.
"Forget the vault Scott. What you need is a lab but make it strong like this room"
He frowns "Kay"
He builds the room faster.
"It's there. I see it."
"Put your powers there, put yourself there and stand up."
I help pull him to his feet.
"Open the door to the room but only a little as you open the door in your mind open your eyes, take it slow, the you in the room can watch. Ready"
He nods.
"Go"
He lets out a breath and opens his eyes slowly a bright beam of red shoots out but it's small.
"Keep your eyes open Scott but close the door."
"It hurts"
"I know but close the door."
He shakes his head and closes his eyes. "We have to try again"
"That's fine Scotty this takes time."
It takes 5 hours and dinner but by the time we leave the room Scott can open his eyes without blowing things up. His eyes still glow red but he can keep the energy back. The longest he keep his eyes open had been for 20 minutes but that was amazing for one day of work.
We go back to the bedroom Scott passes out before I can get him to brush his teeth. Gabe jumps up and down on the bed.
"Come on monster get down."
He tosses himself forward my heart stops and I reach for him he falls against me laughing I cling to him.
"Don't fucking do that Gabe! What if I didn't catch you?"
He just laughs. I carry him to the bathroom and get him cleaned up and get him in PJs. He sits in the middle of the bed watching me as I walk around getting ready for bed. I shut off the lights and get in next to him he snuggles down next to me tucking his head under my chin.
"What did you and Armando talk about all day?"
He sucks on my chin I shove him away.
"Come on Gabe that's nasty"
He laughs and pushes his head back under my chin.
"Fine, don't tell me. At least you're talking to someone."
He doesn't say anything I wasn't expecting him to.

The next day starts wonderful. Gabe wakes up screaming his head off and refuses to talk he just cling to me and cries. Scott wakes up forgets to close his eyes and blow out all the windows in the room and burns a hole in wall. Armando comes bursting into the room followed by Professor X and Eric, Scott sitting in the middle of the bed crying and hugging himself, Gabe is glued to me still bawling his eyes out, I feel like a failure.
The day goes downhill from there. Gabe is jumpy and clingy and Scott is distracted. Hank runs more test with different material against Scott blast but nothing more gets done.

The next day starts a lot calmer. When I get up Gabe and Scott are gone there is a note tape to my head in Scott-block handwriting telling me they went to breakfast with Armando. I lay in bed for a while happy to be in a big comfortable bed with no work or chores. It gets boring fast. I shower, dress, and head down to the kitchen, which is empty except for the random boy I meet yesterday, Sean. He smirks at me."Darwin left you food in the stove. He never cooked for me."
I ignore him and grab my food, French toast and bacon. I turn on the oven and sit on the counter I swing my feet and stare at Sean. It takes 8 minutes for him to toss his spoon on the table and glare at me.
"What the fuck is your problem?"
"No problem. Why are you eating cereal?"
"Because I don't have a fucking boyfriend to make me fancy breakfast foods."
I nod "that's sad"
I take my food out the oven and eat it sitting on the counter.
Sean glares at me. "How did you get Darwin anyway?"
"I don't know, luck and chance?"
He snorts and eats his cereal.
I eat my bacon "So Sean how long have you been here?"
"Two years, what's it matter to you?"
"Just curious"
He eats his cereal and starts another bowl. I finish my food and wash the dish.
"Do you know where they went?"
He motions outside. I nod my thanks and head outside.
Armando sits under a tree, Scott sits at his side, there's a notebook opened in Scott's lap. Gabe is up in the tree. Scott looks up and waves. I jog over to them and drop down next to Armando.
"Thank you for breakfast and the lie in."
"You looked like you needed it"
"The Professor is not up for testing today?"
"He said he would come find us in an hour or so."
"So you're just hanging out?"
"That's the plan"
He gives me a wide smile; I laugh and lay down in the grass.

It's Hank that comes to find us. We follow him back to his lab where he presents Scott with a box there are two object in the box, one is a pair of glasses tinted red the other look like some odd looking visors.
Scott picks up the glasses.
"What are these for?"
"To wear for everyday use when you get your power full under control. The frame is metal the lens are crafted from ruby they will deflect you energy if you accidentally let your powers out but as you can see there is some space at the side to make them look more like normal glasses so even if you accidently let your power out be careful."
Hank lifts the visors. "These are so you can focus your powers, you should wear these now they will help hold your power back since you don't have full control."
Gabe reaches out and snatches the visors from Hank he puts them against his eyes.
Scott snatches them back. "These are mine you grubby brat"
Gabe pouts and tries to grab the visors from Scott who steps back his eyes flash. Armando meets my gaze over their heads. I grab Scott and turn him towards me; Armando lifts Gabe and rests him on his hip.
Hank looks a bit lost. Armando speaks to him.
"Can you make a pair for Gabe."
Hank nods "umm sure of course."
Scott glares at Gabe who looks smug and happy resting in Armando arms.
"He doesn't even need them."
I give Scott shoulder a squeeze.
"It's fine Scott how about you try on the visors and we go run some test."
Hank shows him how to put on the visors. I take him up to the practice room we used yesterday, Hank follows us, Armando and Gabe go off on their own.

After dinner Gabe and Scott are left in the room with instruction not to break anything. I dress for a run and head out. The grounds seem endless I could run for a while and not have to touch the same place twice. I head toward the woods. It's easy running, just breathe and let everything go. Breathe and move.
When I get back to the mansion I head for the kitchen. Armando is sitting on a stool eating chips and reading a book. He looks up when I walk in.
"Nice run?"
"Yes. Can we talk?"
He points to the seat in front of him. I grab a bottle of water and sit down in front of him. I'm not sure what I want to say to him. I sip my water he sits and waits for me to speak.
"Thank you"
"You have nothing to thank me for Alex"
"Bullshit since the moment you meet me you've been putting up with my shit and well most people don't do that."
"I like you."
"Really I couldn't tell."
He kicks my foot. I kick his back than loop my foot around to rest on top his.
He gives me a cheeky smile.
"Are we going to have the talk where I ask how much you like me and we draw hearts around our name?"
I shrug and take a sip of my water. "We could."
He snorts and eats a chip. "We don't have to put labels on things Alex or define them."
"What if I want labels what if I want to call you my boyfriend and say we are dating?"
"Then we could say that, except, we only had the one date"
"So we can have others we could call this a date, there is food and we are talking."
He laughs and offers me a chip. I eat it off his fingers.
"We could call this a date."
He feeds me another chip. I lick my lips sit back on my stool.
"How did the Professor find you?"
"I found him"
"Why?"
"I needed help and the word was he was good at helping people like us."
"But you left."
"I needed a new path."
I steal a chip out of the bag.
"How about you just tell me the story start to finish"
He looks at me weighing options. "Fine but not here, shower and meet me in my room"
"15 minutes I'll be there"
He gives me a half smile. "I'll be waiting."
I race upstairs to get showered.

Scott and Gabe are curled up together in Scott's bed. Gabe is half hanging off the bed; Scott is a ball in the middle. I get Gabe settle him on the bed and pull Scott arms and legs till he is resting on his side. I pull a sheet over them and spend too much time on my hair. I give myself a wink in the mirror and go next door.
The door to Armando's room is open. He sits on his bed reading, back resting against the wall.
I slip into the room, closing the door behind me. He closes the book puts it off to the side. I stand by the door not sure where I should sit, the chair by the desk seems smart but the bed has Armando in it. He gives me a smile, rolls his eyes and pats the spot next to him; I hop into the bed settle in next to him.
"So, story time."
"Something like that."
I reach across and catch his hand tangle his fingers with mine and rest them in my lap.
"You don't have to tell me everything just something."
"I was born in New York. I have a younger brother and sister from a different father they live with him now in Canada. my mom..."
He stops look off out the window. I wait and try not to twitch, he turns to look at me eyebrow raise and I know I failed at the not twitching.
"Why are you so jumpy Alex?"
"I don't know, it's like I need to move."
"The run wasn't enough."
"No."
I look at him loving the look of him, I could think of things we could do that would calm me right down. I feel my face turn red.
He laughs. "What are you think about, Summers?"
I roll my eyes "Sex obviously."
He shakes his head looks away; tries to pull his hand away, I cling to it. "Don't think about it too hard Armando, remember, you like me a lot."
He gives my hand a squeeze. "My mother was a crazy women. It wasn't obvious at first, when I was young it wasn't noticeable at all. I never met my father and I think maybe he had something to do with her crazy, cracked something inside her that just went right on cracking, till it broke all the way through to jagged edges. When I was 8 she was still sane enough to meet my stepfather and get married. She had my brother a year later and my sister 2 years after that. I think my sister's birth is what shattered her. After that there were never 'spells of crazy', it was more 'blinks of sanity.' My stepfather took as much as he could but 4 years with her was too much so he packed up, took his kids and left. He offered to take me with him, but I thought someone should stay with her and I was glad he was going. I didn't want my brother and sister to grow up in fear.
I was 13 when I woke up to find the apartment on fire. I don't remember much, she started it in the living room and that is where I found her in a chair burning. I moved through that apartment and nothing hurt me. I took her outside beat her till the flames gave way, than I went back in and got the kids from the apartment below us, the old lady from the top floor, Mrs. Gill from the first floor who wouldn't leave without her dog who was too scared to move, I got the dog too, and the supper who was trying and failing to fight the fire on the third floor. By than the building was empty, the firemen showed up and I ran. I don't remember stuff. I know it's because I block it out. I woke up in Boston and hung around there for a while before moving on to Virginia, DC. Philadelphia, Pittsburgh; I went over to Settle for a while. I was 15 when I ran into some shit in Boston and I went to Professor X to help me out. My powers where getting out of control. If the wind blew too hard I would shift. I stayed here at the mansion till I was 19. After the first two years I pretty much was a live in babysitter. My powers were under control and Eric and Professor X needed the help. I left because I wanted to do something different. I wandered for a while, got in too many fights, found your town, and the shop was for sale. I thought, 'why not?' I had money saved and Professor X helped me get the paper work done and loan me the rest of the money. I opened up the shop. He sends some of his students to me every now and again; the ones that need space. Raven is his younger sister sort off… she is a shape-shifter. She was the first one that came and she never really left." He pauses, looks at our hands resting in my lap. "That's the story, most of it."
I shift till I'm sitting closer to him my head on his shoulder. I'm not sure what to say. I remember my mother: elegant, beautiful, strong, super smart and so funny. Her laughter I remember it, bright and strong.
"Did your mother live?"
"For 3 months and then she just stopped."
"I'm sorry."
"It is in no way your fault."
"I know and I'm not offering pity, I'm just sorry about everything I guess. I wish you could have met my mom she would have loved you."
"I wish the same."
I turn my head and he leans down, the kiss is easy, smooth. I shift, we push against each other, I end up on my back; Armando resting between my thighs, his hand moving slow and warm down my side, I shift, push up, he presses down.
"We should stop." His voice is muffles where it presses against my collarbone, he sounds tired.
"We are just sleeping."
He smiles, I feel the shape of it against my skin, his hand's tight on my hip. "That is what we are doing for real Alex."
"Of course."
I run a hand down his back he leans into the touch I close my eyes. It's easier than I thought it would be to ignore the want and focus on the feeling of warmth. I fall asleep.
And wake curled on my side; Armando spooned up behind me. The room is still dark. I close my eyes and go back to sleep.

I force myself awake. It's almost light out. I roll on my back so I can look at Armando. The dream had been a good dream, one of those so good it hurts dream. 4th of July last year, five days before the accident, all of us in the backyard playing tag with water guns. My mom was always the champion and Gabe always got to be on her team, the two of them against me, my dad and Scott. I remember it was hot, so hot I swear the tar was melting, trees were drooping, everything moving extra slow, even the wind seem to be taking its time. We didn't slow down, we raced around the backyard scream with ever blast of cold water. We had a barbeque that night, afterwards me and Scott lay in the grass on our backs and watch the sky explode in bright colors. Gabe had fallen asleep early and dad carried him inside. Mom sat in the lawn chair head titled back, a soft smile on her face, a glass of lemonade in her hand.
The dream is over but everything is still so bright and clear behind my eyes. It's been over a week if I don't leave soon I will lose the one job I have left. I squeeze my eyes shut try to lock everything down. Armando's hand moves against my side trailing downward to my hip, a soft squeeze. I open my eyes, meet his gaze, he gives me a soft smile.
"I knew you could not be frowning that hard and be asleep."
"Sorry if I woke you up"
"Wasn't you."
"Sorry anyway."
I shift a little closer, I'm not sorry, not really, I'm glad he is up so he can shift us till he's on his back and I'm sprawled against his chest, his hand warm and solid against my back. I kiss his collarbone, close my eyes.
We don't go back to sleep. When the sun get up, we get up. I slip next door to dress and look in on Gabe and Scott who are curled around each other, Scott's pinky in Gabe's mouth. I snap a picture on my phone and creep out the room.
When I get back to Armando's room he is dressed standing by the window forehead pressed against the glass. I slide up behind him, wrap my arms around his waist, press my face into his shoulder. We stay like that for awhile, he shakes me off turns to look at me, smile on his face.
"Want to go somewhere that's not the mansion for breakfast."
"That would be nice, our third date."
He laughs, the sound of it untangled the knots of tension in my gut. I take his hand and let him pull me from the room.

We drive to an Ihop. I haven't been to one in ages. We fight over what to order and end up getting half the menu. We eat off each other plate and argue about what taste best. By the time we're full there is still tons of food left. We take the rest to go. When we get back into the car it's still early just approaching 9 and I know Gabe and Scott are still sleeping so I don't feel bad making Armando park the car by the side of the road and sliding into his lap. He drags me close pressing a kiss to my mouth.
It 20 after 9 and I'm so ready to drag him into the back seat and get with the fucking, there is a bang on the window. We pull apart to find a smirking policeman waving at us. I groan and slide out Armando lap. He laughs and rolls down the window.
"Morning officer."
The policeman smiles. "I'm in a dame good mood today and you two look extra happy so I'm not going to ruin your day and you won't ruin mine, break it up and get a move on."
Armando nods "good of you sir."
The officer nods and waves us off. Armando starts the car up and gets us moving. I slide my hand into his lap, he warps a hand around mine.
"Would have been a better day if he showed up like an hour later."
Armando laughs, shakes his head. "We have time and there is an actual bed back at the mansion"
"And bratty kids and a mind reader"
"Focus on the bed."
I drag our hands in to my lap and look out the window watching the tree pass us by.

When we get back Gabe attacks us I bribe him with warmed up leftover, he takes the bag and runs off to the kitchen, we follow at a slower pace. Scott sits at the breakfast isle frowning down at a book. I know he is still getting use to seeing the world in red. I move to sit next to him. Armando goes to help Gabe not burn down the kitchen.
Scott looks up at me and I hate the ugly red tinted glasses.
"You went to breakfast without us."
"Sorry I though you would still be asleep."
He rolls his eyes I can't see it but I know him.
"That's a good thing stupid you have to do more things for yourself."
"I do things for myself all the time you ungratefully little brat."
"No you don't"
"Yes I do"
"No Alex you really don't."
"You know what, I'm not fighting with a preteen little brat. I got you breakfast eat it and like it."
He is glaring at me I can tell from the frown in his eyebrows. "You are selfish in you selflessness."
I laugh and punch him in the arm. He slaps my hand, I slap his arm and we end up wrestling around on the floor. I remain the victory and toss him over my shoulder, he tries to wiggle away but he is laughing easy and loud, the way I like it. When I toss him back in the chair his face is open and happy not a trace of a frown.
Me and Armando help them eat the left over than I head to the practice room with Scott we should get as much training in as possible.

Week two at the mansion starts with the fourth of July. I wake up that Monday and know its five days away. Gabe is still not talking but he is thrilled about the idea of fireworks. Armando and Eric drive into town to buy fireworks Gabe goes with them I stay back at the mansion and put in some more training with Scott. He is getting good at holding back his power he's learning faster than I did.
We have a big picnic lunch in the grass. Gabe and Scott get Hank and Sean to play tag with them I lay in the grass my head in Armando lap looking up at the clouds and try not to think about last year and water gun fights in the backyard.
Dinner is burger and fries, dessert is cheesecake in the backyard where Eric and Sean set off fireworks with lots of help from Gabe. Armando takes my hand and we walk off down the path into the wood towards the lake.
I stand on the shore and look up at the almost full moon, the ground feels damp between my toes, my shoes are under the tree in the backyard, Armando is watching me.
"What's wrong?"
I turn to look at him. "Nothing this is good. I'm actually kind of glad we are here."
"Surprised Professor X is not some evil over lord trying to brainwash your brothers into joining his mutant army."
"Yes that was very surprising." I put out a hand he takes it stepping into my space. I warp my arms around his waist he reaches out and runs a hand over my face I lean into his touch.
"Alex what's wrong."
I close my eyes his fingers make patterns on my face. "Last year we watched fireworks in the backyard, five days later my dad got called in on some project and mom went with him so they could have a date when he was done working. I was on babysitting duty. Driving home it started to rain and they never came home."
I lean forward press my face against his neck inhale the smell of him, he warps his arms around me, doesn't say a word. We stand locked together for a while, till I pull back, he leans in kisses me slow and easy I press against him this is nice.
"We should go swimming."
He smirks at me. "The water is cold."
"It will be fun." I kiss his mouth
"We don't have swimming trunks."
"Naked works better."
He laughs and pulls away doesn't go far just tugs on my shirt, I let him pull it over my head I yank at his jeans. We strip and hang our clothes on a tress. I walk slowly into the water; he runs and jumps in, diving under the water. I'm half way in when he yanks me down into the water, I smack him we get in a fight he wins no contest. I pull him to me kiss him hard and fast he goes with it warps his arms around me. We swim for awhile, lazy half strokes and mostly kisses. It's late when we leave the lake and walk hand in hand back to the mission.
I wake up Saturday confused. I have no idea what to do, our parent graves are miles away. Gabe clings to my side all day. Scott goes off by himself I don't see him after breakfast he doesn't show up till dinner. I spend the day sitting with Gabe doing nothing. Gabe refuses to sleep I lay with him stroking his back and tell him stories about when he was a tiny little baby and how mom and dad loved him. Scott lies in his bed unmoving but I know he is awake and listening. I fall asleep and wake up to a new day.

Week three brings my birthday it passes without notice. Armando and Hank are sent off somewhere by Professor X. I don't want to deal with my birthday being a big deal so I make sure Scott is super busy with training and it help that bright and early on Monday morning Jean Gray show up and Scott falls a bit in love. He's too busy blushing and making cow eyes to remember it's my birthday. Gabe is busy bonding with Sean in Hank's lab and no one else knows. I go to town by myself watch a movie, eat ice cream and sit on a bench and watch the clouds. When I get back to the mansion Gabe is talking again, Scott is still making cow eyes at Jean who seem oblivious to what she is doing to him. Professor X gives me a curious look I ignore.
Tuesday night Armando and Hank show up with a group of kids and a tall gorgeous dark skinned women name Storm and the mansion is full.

Week four and I know it's time to leave. Scott is making friends with Jean and some of the other kids. The mansion is full of noise, things are constantly breaking, people are constantly fighting. Gabe has made friend with Sean and they have been sent to Professor X's office nine times, once twice in a day. Soon they will be asking me if they can take classes and attend training practices, which can't happen. So I pull Armando aside after dinner. He lets me drag him out back. I lean against the side of the house and wish for something to do with my hands. I shove them in the front pocket of my jeans and try to relax.
"It time for us to go home."
He nods like he's been expecting it. "When do you want to leave?"
"You don't have to leave, I mean if you still want to stay you can do that it is just..."
He gives me a look. I shut up.
"When do you want to go home Alex?"
"Tomorrow, maybe in the morning."
He nods lifts an eyebrow. "After lunch"
"Does it matter?"
"It will to them. They are going to want to say goodbye"
"They have all morning"
"Alex"
I shift my weight trying to relax, annoyed that I feel so jumpy all the dame time.
He gives my shoulder a nudge "Why do you want to leave so bad."
I look at my feet. "They are getting too comfortable, this is not home."
"Okay we go after lunch."
"Fine after lunch but I mean right after lunch."
He smirks at me. "Of course sir, right after lunch."
I punch his arm, he grabs my hand and just holds it. I tug him closer and this has been the easiest thing about being here. He settles himself against me. I lean in kiss his chin, the side of his neck, press my face against his shoulder and breathe in the smell of him.

We go home. Scott doesn't want to leave but he is silent in his disgruntle unhappiness. Gabe cries loud and anger and clings to the bed, the door, the wall, anything he can get his grubby hands on.
The four hour drive back is tense. Scott is silent in a very loud manner, there is lot of feet swinging, seat kicking and banging on seats. Gabe sniffles loudly and every once in awhile he cries silently. I ignore them. I know they liked being around other mutants, around other kids without parents. It didn't matter that most of those kids had family out there somewhere, to them it was just nice to not have to explain where mom and dad were, to have to remember. It was nice for them to be the normal ones for once. But I couldn't stay there. As well meaning as Professor X was my father had been right, putting all those kids in one place was painting a target on their backs. There was no way I was going to put my brothers in harm's way. They had enough shit on their plates without being added to a crazy mass murder hit list.

When we get home Scott walked off I assume to go to his room. Gabe clings to Armando who promises he's not leaving. I try not to think to hard about that. I take my car and swing by the apartment Raven and Angel share and thank them greatly for watching the two monsters know as Bert and Erin. I had forgotten about the dogs in my hurry to get Scott help. Armando had not forgotten. He sent Raven over to pick up the dogs. Apparently a small thing like locked doors are nothing when you can shift. I try to pay them, Raven shoves the money back into my hands and surprises me with a tight hug.
"You don't ever pay me for anything. Just remember when you need help you can call me."
"You don't even really know me and I know those dogs can be a handful."
She smiles soft and very pretty. "We are mutants, we stick together back each other up. Take your dogs home and tell Armando the least he can do is show up for work tomorrow."
I laugh and let her hug me one more time before she shoves me out the door with two over happy dogs.
When I get home Gabe finally releases Armando to greet his dogs. He hugs them and rolls around on the floor with them. Armando takes my hand and leads me to the kitchen. I move around trying to make dinner. After 20 minutes and all I've done is burn water he stops me, big hand covering mine.
"How about we order pizza."
I nod, bite my lip and try to focus on the list of things I have to do. He leaves the room to ask Gabe and Scott what they want on their pizza. I breathe and sit on the floor back pressed against the stove. It's been over a year since mom and dad pasted. A year. It feels like so much more and so much less time. I close my eyes, rest my head back against the stove. Dad would be so pissed at me for not being able to help Scott on my own, for even needing to take them to Professor X for help. Mom would have understood, would have done the same and I know dad would have too once he really saw Scott, saw the pain he was in. He loved us, mom always said too much, always with a smile like that was the only acceptable option. I never minded being loved too much, even when it meant over long talks and too many questions, because it also meant safety until a stupid rainstorm and slick roads took that away from me.
I feel a warm hand on my cheek and realize I'm crying I open my eyes, Armando is kneeling there in front of me, worry write all over his handsome face.
"I'm sorry."
"Alex you are the stupidest person I have ever meet."
His hand slips back around my neck, he is pulling me forward, I collapse against him, press my face against his neck and let him hold me up. It's been forever over a year since I let anyone hold me up. I sniffle and try not to cry.
"I'm sorry, I'll stop crying in a little bit."
"You can cry for as long as you want."
I bite my lip and cling to his shirt just that bit tighter.
We sit until I'm done crying, than he wipes my face with his warm hands and helps me stand. I sit in a chair and try not to feel like a looser.
"You want to talk about it."
"No" I look down at my hands.
"That's fine want to tell me anything."
I sigh, run a hand over my face. "My cell phone is going to get shut off, I didn't pay the bill, I quit the deli job before we left. I need another job to cover the day to day shit, the gas station job goes straight to bills. I feel like I have somehow tricked you in to some weird marriage and we haven't even fucked."
He laughs and sits in the chair across from me. "No one tricks me into anything."
I snort and rest my head on top my folded arms. I could fall asleep right now but I won't because shit still needs to be done.
"What are you still doing here Armando I'm a fucking mess. I'm stuck rising two fucking kids."
"I like you more than I can understand but that doesn't bother me. I like Scott and Gabe, I even like your dogs. I want to get to know you, all of you."
"Good luck with that, when you find me let me know, I'd like to meet me."
He gives my foot a kick. "You're doing the emo angsty teenage thing."
I say nothing. He reaches out and gives my arm a squeeze
"It was a joke."
"I know, it just also the truth right, I'm just a fucking kid, right."
"No you're not just anything Alex, God your prickly today."
I sit up push myself out of the chair it skids across the floor.
"I feel like I did a horrible thing taking them away from the mansion but I can't just let them stay there. I can't stay there and I won't leave them anywhere I'm not."
"You didn't do anything bad Alex the mansion is not for everyone."
"Stop being so rational and sane and calm."
"Okay what kind of crazy would you like me to be?"
I roll my eyes, the doorbell rings. He stands and goes to answer it. I shove a hand through my hair, think about being normal and follow him out.

Scott comes down to eat. We eat in the living room, Gabe feeds Bert and Erin half his food. Scott doesn't talk he just eats and frowns and when he is done he clean up his mess and goes right back upstairs to his room. Gabe tries to drag dinner time out for as long as possible. I'm not really pay attention but Armando catches his game. He cleans him up and carries him off to bed. I sit in the living room for awhile admiring the quiet, than I clean up the mess. Get the dirty clothes from the trip in the washer. I get online and search around for a new job, put the clothes in the dryer and head upstairs.
Armando is still in Gabe's room reading to him. Gabe is mostly asleep but fighting it. Scott is asleep the new glasses resting on the nightstand a book almost falling of the bed, his sheets pulled tight around him. I kiss his forehead and tug the sheets free covering him properly, put the book on the nightstand. I know he never forget the anniversary, I wonder what he did for it, why he didn't bother to tell me. I stand for awhile watching him. He doesn't move just sleeps on. I go back into the hall. Armando is coming out of Gabe's room. I put out a hand he takes it lacing our fingers together, I lead him down the hall past the locked room that was my parents to mine.
I know what I want from this. We kiss slow and easy, clothes fall away, I pull him till he rest on top of me, cradled between my legs. I want so bad to arch into his touch, to feel him slick and there inside me. I don't know how to ask for it. He pulls away tries to move out my grasp, I pull him back in, wishing I had turned on the light so I could see him.
"Alex?"
"I'm sure absolute fucking positively sure, yes, yes, yes, now please."
He kisses me, tongue mapping out all the dips and curve of my mouth, I press against him letting him searching for his answers. His hands move down over my hips griping my thighs, I groan push up as he presses down. I feel it building in me. He kisses my bottom lip, runs his tongue over my top lip, pulls back, I chase his mouth. We rock together. This is okay, I can't hurt him, he won't hurt me. It builds, the tight fire in the center of me, his hold tightness almost painful against my thighs, I gasping into his mouth, he rocks hard against me this is more than enough. It rolls over me, I come with a gasp, spilling hot and wet between the press of our bodies, he rocks down and the energy surges out of me, I cry out, arch up, it never felt like this before, like my entire body just letting go, the room is bright, now I can see him watching me with a slight look of wonder on his face. It last forever and not a minute, then I'm gasping and cling to him and he is coming against my hip and kissing me like he wants to crawl inside of me and that is good, so fucking good. I warp my arms around his neck and let him press me into the bed, his mouth warm against mine stealing my breath from my lungs.

I wake face pressing into the pillow, Armando's arm slung over my waist. I roll over on my back so I can look at him. It's Monday I need a new job. I watch him breath, memorize the way his eyelashes curl against his cheek, the way his mouth rest in sleep.

I go back to work on Monday night. My boss at the gas station isn't happy with me haven been gone over 4 weeks but he's is short on staff, Billy and Crane quit so he is willing to give me extra hours. I work double shifts on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday, I wake up and make breakfast go to work come home and make a late lunch and go back to work. For three days when I get home Scott and Gabe are asleep curled up in their beds and Armando is in my room reading a book. We don' talk about it. I just drop into bed roll on my side let him pull me closer kiss the top of my head. I cling to him as I fall asleep.

Friday I work all day at the gas station when I get home it's after 3 in the morning. I try to be quiet as I move around the kitchen looking for food. There is peanut butter chocolate chip ice cream in the freezer that I know I didn't buy. I take it out, peel the cover off, grab a spoon and hop up on the counter. I eat almost all of it in 10 minutes. Armando comes into the kitchen, turns on the light. I lick the spoon, he smirks at me.
"That is not dinner."
"Maybe I wanted dessert first."
He walks across the kitchen to come stand between my legs. I scoop out a spoonful and offer it to him, he eats it, licking the spoon, I lean forward and lick the ice cream out his mouth, he shifts pulling me forward, I warp one arm around his neck cradling the ice cream against my chest with the other. I lick the last trace of peanut butter from his mouth and pull back, kiss his lips, he gives my leg a squeeze.
"You could come work for me."
"No."
"Why not."
"Because you are my boyfriend and I don't take hand outs."
"Alex."
"No."
"You are going to kill yourself."
"No I won't. I was fine before with two jobs, it easier with two different jobs. I'll find something."
"And when will you have time to finish actually going to high school."
I pull away from him. "Who the fucking told you."
"Scott he was mad when he said it. He's been angry for a few days now."
I push him way, he goes easy gives me room to hop off the counter.
"I am planning to get my GED before the year is out."
"And what about college."
"What about fucking college I never wanted to go to college, higher learning is Scott things."
"What is your thing?"
"I don't fucking no, shit it doesn't matter, I'm too tired for this right now."
I try to push past him, he doesn't let me go just steps in front of me and frames my face with his big warm hands.
"It matters to me Alex because you can't live your whole life just doing what you think is the right thing for Scott and Gabe. You have to do something for yourself or you will burn out."
I close my eyes relaxes into the feeling of him, when I open my eyes he is still watching me a worry frown on his face.
"I have you, that is me being selfish."
He runs his thumb over my mouth. "Then let me take care of you."
I press a kiss to the pad of his thumb. "No you being here is enough."
Before he can say anymore I pull free of his hands and move forward pressing a kiss to his mouth, he kisses back slow and easy like there is no rush, there isn't. He walks me back till I'm resting against the counter. I let him lift me so I'm sitting on it, him between my legs, my arms around his neck and this is nice, just kissing, touching.
We kiss for while than we just hold, his head resting against my shoulder my arms warped around him.
"You can keep the gas station job just work for me as your second job, I pay really well."
"I don't think it would be right, I would feel like I was using you."
"You are not in anyway."
"I'll think about it."
"I'll accept that."
"I have to be at work for 7am."
He doesn't say anything just steps back and helps me slide off the counter, I can see the anger in his face and I know it's on my behalf. I bit my lip and cling to his hand.

I am half sleep by the time my shift is over. I stumble out the shop yawning and scratching my head. I look up and blink and yes Armando, Scott and Gabe are still there leaning against Armando car. Gabe spots me and smiles bright and happy. He pushes off the car and runs to me throws all his weight at me, I catch him and stumble backwards, he clings to me, mouth going a thousand miles a minute, I lift his let him warp arms and legs around me. I wait till he shuts up before I ask.
"You okay Gabby."
"I missed you a lot."
His voice is muffled against my shirt, I rub his back and walk toward the car.
Scott gives me a sharp look but leans against my side in an almost hug. Armando gives me a lazy smile.
"Hi."
I roll my eyes and press a kiss to his mouth. Gabe wiggles in my arms.
"No kissing with me in the middle."
I laugh and step back meet Armando gaze. "You have a plan."
"Lunch and a nap."
"That sounds awesome." I roll my eyes. "Napping the highlight of my social life."
He laughs and opens the passenger side door. "Nothing but the best for my boyfriend."
I snort and let Armando pry Gabe off so I can strap myself in.

I tried to take a nap and failed even when Armando drags Scott and Gabe to work with him leaving me alone in an empty house for the first time in what felt like ten years, I still can't fall asleep. I lay spread out in my bed, I am tired stupid tired, I can't get my eyes to close. I looked at the walls of my room cover in posters of band I never find time to listen to and art I drew when I thought I could be an artist. It's the room of a 14 year old. The last time I added something I was just starting high school that seems like 20 years ago. I roll on my stomach and look at my dark green pillow case. I think about how the quiet of the gas station is no longer serene just madding. I wonder what my dad would want me to do. I force my eyes close and try to sleep I find Armando waiting naked and smirking in a bath tub full of green water. I jerk awake with a hard on, sit up look at the batman clock on my wall. I'd sleep for a full 15 min. I roll out of bed, sleep is a filthy bitch that is obviously seeing someone else.
I set to work on fixing the backyard. I filling in holes and replanting my mom flowers. I make dinner in between planting.
I'm filling in the last hole when I hear them come in, the dogs are barking Gabe is laughing about something and Scott is trying to talk over him, Armando orders them all to shut up because Alex is sleeping and then it is silent. I look up at the sky and breath. I have no idea how I got Armando. I don't know how long he is going to want to play house with me before losing interest but I know when he goes he is going to break us all and I don't think I know how to fix that. I rest the shovel against the side of the house. I wipe my hand on my jeans and go inside.
There all in the living room. I stop in the doorway and look in. The dogs are play tug of war with Gabe's sock. Gabe is sockless and shirtless, there is fruit in his hair and on his face. Armando is try to wipe him down with a rag but Gabe keeps moving around trying to talk in a loud whisper, arms waving everywhere. Scott sits on the floor close to Armando watching him try to clean Gabe off. I want to know what he is thinking the glasses cover half his face I can't read him at all. I step fully into the room.
"What the fuck did you do to yourself Gabe"
They all jump and turn to look at me, Gabe smiles bright and wide.
"I help make drinks they where amazing, sometimes I forgot to put the cover on the blender that was awesome, stuff just went" he waves his hands all over smacking Armando in the stomach and Scott in the head.
Armando put a hand over Gabe mouth. He gives me a serious look. "From the dirt on your clothes I assume you were sleep walking in the yard."
"No me and sleep are currently seeing other people but I made dinner."
Gabe moves his head around Armando hand. "Yay I'm starving."
He tries to walk off Armando hold him in place, he looks at Scott who stands and grab Gabe hand and drag him toward the stairs.
"You should have slept"
"I really tried and it was all weird and sexual."
"Really?"
"Yes and I was thinking too much I couldn't sleep but really I'm fine, I'll sleep tonight for hours."
"You will sleep tonight"
I roll my eyes. "The backyard is almost done."
"You fix the backyard and made dinner?"
"I am very good at multitasking, let me go finish the last hole you get those two monsters and I'll meet you in the kitchen."
"Alex."
He is watching me and I don't understand what he wants from me.
"What?" It comes out sounding mean and I feel stupid. I bit my lip hard and taste blood.
He comes to stand in front of me runs a finger over my bottom lip. My teeth ease off.
"You are like... I don't even know."
I blink. "Are you trying to find a nice way to say stupid?"
He kisses me, tongue running over my bruised lip, I lean into it let him control it, pushing me back till I'm pressed against the wall, I rest my hands on his hips pulling him closer till there is no space between us. We pull apart to breathe, he doesn't move far, presses a kiss to the side of my mouth.
"I think I'm kind of mostly in love with you and you are complete oblivious to it."
I suck in a breath almost chock on it. What the fuck do I say to that? "Oh"
He snorts presses his face against me neck. "I say I love and you say oh"
I frown, my fingers clutching the back of his shirt. "You said kind of mostly."
He pulls back so he can look at me.
"I love you Alex Summers so much it makes me want to do stupid stupid things and then you look at me with your stupid cow eye stare and I feel like I'm molesting a five year old."
"Hay dude I'm 19 and I'm not a fucking kid I can take care of myself"
"19 is still a fucking kid and you shouldn't have to take care of yourself"
I swallow closes my eyes press my head back against the wall.
"You are going to get tired Armando and when you leave I will have to fix 3 shattered hearts and I don't know how to do that."
"I'm not leaving"
"Because you love me."
"Yes because I fucking love you and Scott and Gabe and Bert even Erin and I can't imagine a world without you guys in it."
I snort trying to let go off his shirt and failing.
"You sound like a cheesy romantic comedy after the break up."
"I'm not going anywhere. What do I have to do for you to believe that?"
"Stay, just fucking stay"
He nods face serious eyes focus on me, I look away, try to catch my breath.
"I'll um come work for you if the offer is still on the table."
"The position is still available. You can start on Monday."
"I kind of need to start as soon as possible I have to keep my lights on."
"You start Monday this weekend you quit the gas station and sleep."
"You're getting rather bossy is this something I should be worried about, will there be chains and wipes in the future."
He frowns. "You're getting rather emo is that something I should be worried about, will there be reading of twilight and guyliner in the future."
I roll my eyes and tug on his shirt he gets the message and leans in.
Scott stomps into the room. "Seriously you're still kissing. I cleaned Gabe off, filled in the hole and you're still kissing"
Armando pulls away laughing, I glare at Scott.
"We talked, there was talking in between the kissing."
I don't have to see Scott's eyes to know he rolled them so hard they should have fallen out his head.
"How about we eat before Gabe eats everything."
"Fine dinner you bossy little bitch."
He flips us off and runs out the room. Armando press one more kiss to my mouth.
"Okay now dinner"
I laugh and let him pull me out the room.

I have never worked with coffee or ice cream or fruits or made drinks before. There are a thousand drinks and billions of ways to make them and I fuck up a lot my first week. I mess up orders and drop shit everywhere. Raven laughs about it. Angel gives me these looks, sharp thoughtful looks and says nothing. Gabe is an awesome drink maker, when he remembers to put a lid on the blender. He invents 2 new drinks that Armando adds to the menu. Scott prefers to stay in the office. I don't know what he does in there all day but he seems happy with it. By the end of my second week I realized I actual enjoy what I'm doing and it's nice being able to bring the brats to work with me. By week three I am happy and comfortable with my job.

I wipe down a table and put up the last of the chairs. Angel closes the last trash bin and smirks at me.
"We are done."
I glance at my watch. "Six minutes earlier than last night."
"A new record."
We share a high five. I still have no idea what to think about Angel, she is funny when she wants to be and we have a lot to talk about but she hides a lot behind her dark thoughtful eyes.
"So do you have plans tonight."
I shrug. We walk back to the office to grab our bags.
"The brats are with Armando. Where they went I don't know. None of them seem to think I ever need to know where they go."
She laughs. "They are good for Armando, all of you are."
"Umm thanks I think."
I shoulder my book bag. She pulls her hair free of her pony tail.
"Me and Raven are going to a show for this band she loves and adores, you should come with."
"I would like to but I think I should go home."
She rolls her eyes. "No you definitely should come with us. Call the husband and tell him you are going out."
"So not the husband."
She laughs and shoves me toward the door. "Face the facts Summer you are in fact married."
"But I never even got a ring."
She closes the door behind us. I lock it, she loops her arm thought mine and leads me in the opposite direction of my car. We head to a coffee shop where Raven is waits. She hugs me and hugs Angle and shoves me in a seat, they walk off to order coffee. I curl into the chair and pull out my cell phone. Armando answers on the 5th ring.
"You're done already."
"Yes but I've been kidnapped by Angel and Raven. It seems I am going with them to see some band Raven loves."
His laughter travel down the phone line. "Have fun. The band will suck, Raven only likes crappy indi shitty bands but if you get drunk enough it sound decent."
"I am not getting drunk"."
"Okay but you have fun."
"Where are you guys."
"Home Depo getting stuff for the backyard, hold on Scott wants to talk to you."
"Alex."
"Yes Scott."
"Get drunk bitch."
"You are not even a preteen what do you know about drinking."
"I watch TV and rate R movies I know tons about it. Don't be a wuse let lose have some fun."
"I will not be peer pressured into getting drunk by an 11 year old."
I can hear his eye roll over the phone. "Wuse."
"Fine I'm a wuse. Is Gabe behaving."
"Gabe is away an angel for Armando."
"Of course he is, let me talk to him."
"Fine."
There is silences than
"Alex please get drunk, that's what Scott told me to tell you. Stop hitting me Scott you stupid dogface."
I roll my eyes. There is a scuffle I hear static than Armando telling them to stop and then Armando is back on the line.
"Have fun I'll see you when you get home."
"Are they done fighting."
"No Gabe is pulling on Scott shorts and Scott is try to keep from being pants. I'll deal with them in a minute."
I love that he can ignore the stupidness of Scott and Gabe, just not give a fuck if everyone in the store must be looking at them by now.
"I'll have fun, will you wait up for me."
"Do you want me to?"
"Um yes if you want, you don't have to."
"I'll be up with ice cream."
"Thanks."
"You are welcome, I'm hang up now Gabe almost got Scott's pants down."
I laugh. "I'll see you at home."
"Alex."
"Ya."
"I love you."
I bit my lip I still don't know what to say to that. He hangs up before I can say anything.

So I go out with Raven and Angel and the band suck ass. I get drunk and make out with a tiny pixie like blond girl and text Armando random shit and puke up in the bathroom and get felt up by a big jockey red haired guy and then I get in a fight with his friend the bull face dude and get a busted lip and drink some more, share a cigar with Raven and puke in front the club, than we fall into a cab and somehow I end up in my kitchen sitting on the floor by the stove trying to figure out if I'm thirsty or hunger.
The light comes on, I blink and look up at Armando who is standing over me a smirk on his face
"We have got to stop meeting like this."
I groan and try to wave him off, I'm definitely not hunger. "I think I have to toss us again."
He shakes his head and drags me up. I stumble and fall against him, he helps me to the bathroom.
"So you're in love with a pixie."
"No I'm not what the fuck."
"You sent me a pics of a blonde girl and said she was your pixie wife."
"No oh my God I sent you pictures."
"Yes a lot of them and texts so many texts."
"No."
I try to fall down, he doesn't let me just drags me into the bathroom and helps me strip and get in the tub. I lean against the wonderfully cool tiles and hate myself.
"You are drunk."
"No I'm not, I am tipsy and sick."
"You are drunk and you will have such a lovely hang over tomorrow."
"Asshole."
"Shower Alex."
"No."
He turns on the water I shrink away from it but the warm water feel so good. I give in being clean would feel nice. When I'm done he warps me in a towel and mostly carried me to my bed. I curl up in bed not bothering to get dressed. I can hear him moving around than nothing, than he is back and forcing me to sit up and drink a large cup of water, I want to sleep, I try to shove him off but he keeps at it till I give in and drink the stupid water, than he lets me fall into my wonderful bed and sleep.

I wake to pain, full body tortuous pain, screaming from somewhere outside my room and the heavy smell of greasy food. The dogs bark, one of them is whining. Gabe and Scott seem to be destroying the universe in the hallway, I press my face into my pillow and wow even my teeth hurt. I try to move and that is just plain dumb. Gabe and Scott go silent than the door to my room open.
"Alex are you up."
Scott's voice is soft. I grunt Gabe giggles
"He's awake."
Scott snorts. "I bet his head is killing him."
I roll on my back and that took everything I had in me.
"Evil spawns of Satan close the blinds and the door and leave me to die in the dark and silence."
They laugh, but Scott close the blinds.
"We are going to the park with Armando."
I grunt happy to be in the wonderful dark. The door closes softly, I close my eyes.

I remember waking and drinking water and going back to sleep and wakening and drinking more water and pain killer being swallowed and going back to sleep.
When I wake up and feel human it is a whole new day and I have work in 4 hours.
I crawl out of bed into the shower, I mange to shower and dress and stumble in to the living room. Gabe and Scott are curled up on the sofa playing a video game.
"Where is Armando."
Scott glances up from the game than turn back to the TV.
"Work. He told us to go in with you, didn't want to leave you alone."
"Sorry."
He looks back at me and I hate hate hate the stupid glasses.
He is frowning. "What's wrong Alex"
"Nothing Scotty nothing at all. Did you guys eat?"
"Yes but we could eat again."
"Cool I'll warm up some pizza."
Gabe cheers. "I love pizza."
"I know you do monster."
I go to the kitchen make pizza, drink some water, check my phone. There is a text from Angel saying I better be in today. There are a bunch of pic texts from Raven, I'm too scared to look at them. I set out plates and pour juice. When the pizza is done I call and Scott and Gabe come running. They devour the pizza like they haven't eaten in hours. Gabe talks about going to the park yesterday with Armando and the tree he picked out to plant in the backyard. Scott adds a few things. I watch them the way they seem relax, open, happy. They are really fucking happy. I don't know what to think about it. I get them dressed and in the car. I lock the dogs in the backyard and we drive to work.

When we get to the shop it's packed. There is a long line all the way out the door. Raven is on register glaring at a customer, Armando, Angel and what appears to be Sean are making drinks. I push past people with a smile and sorry and make my way to the office. I stash my stuff, Scott plops down in the seat behind the desk and turns on the computer. Gabe grabs his apron. Armando had one made just for him, its black with dogs on the pocket and say master drink maker. I shove my hair under my cap and fix Gabe cap. He smiles up at me. "Today is going to be awesome."
"That's one word for it"
He laughs and yanks open the door racing out into the rush. I turn to look at Scott. "You and me are going to have a sit down and talk"
He looks up at me smirking "Really will there be coffee"
"If you want it, yes. Scott I'm being serious."
"Fine"
He looks away. I take a breath and head outside.
People are extra bitchy and desperate for their sweet fix. I mange to stay off the register for most of the day and Sean manages to avoid me. Armando also manages to keep out of my reach. It is after 8 when the crowed dies down and finally it's time to close. Armando goes around and puts up the close sign. Angel had taken off Scott had come out the office and was sitting at a table drinking one of Gabe's new test drinks. Raven comes out from the back and smiles bright and happy for first time all day.
"I'm out of here bitches."
I laugh she warps me in a hug.
"You are a serious light weight Alex baby we are going to talk tomorrow."
"Ya tomorrow have a good night"
"Oh there are def plans for that."
She looks over my shoulder and scream. "Bye little Summer brothers bye Armando, fuck you Sean."
And she breeze out the door. I turn and yes Sean is standing there eyeballing me I roll my eyes.
"What do you want Irish boy"
"Scottish"
"Same shit"
"How would you like it if I called you a fucking Canadian bitch."
I squeeze my hand into a fist, and remind myself that he is in fact two years younger than me.
"What do you want, why are you even here."
"I just wanted to check up on Armando. Me and Hank were talking and he told me Raven told him you where now working at the shop and Armando basically moved in with you and I'm thinking this kid is fucking slick as hell, it's been what a little over 2 months? Are you going to get him to write you in as part owner of the fucking shop, get join bank accounts."
I blink and look at him, at his angry red face, body taunt ready for a fight, he really cares. He's really worried that I'm going to play Armando dirty. I laugh and lean against the counter.
"You Sean are not the bitch I thought you were"
"What does that even mean?"
"It means Sean, I like you, really you're a very passionate person. I'm not trying to use Armando for anything but maybe a good fuck but I'm glad he has you to think that I am trying to use him."
Sean blinks and blinks again. "What."
I pat his shoulder and start closing. Gabe helps a little but mostly he and Sean are doing something stupid in the back sink. Scott helps. By the time Armando comes out the office the place is clean.
I look up from where I'm restocking cups. "Are you done?"
He nods. "Are you guys done?"
"Yes we are in fact completely finished."
I stick the last cup in place. He nods, looks the shop over before turning back to me.
"You okay Alex"
"Mostly yes, can we like talk?"
"Now."
"No later, now can we separate Sean and Gabe before they blow something up."
"I didn't tell him to come. I told Hank to keep him away.
"No it's cool I like him now"
"Really so suddenly"
"Yes he is a noble little leprechaun."
He laughs, I lean in press a kiss to his mouth because I can.
We lock up. Scott rides with me, Gabe goes with Armando. The drive home is a nice time to talk.
Scott turns on the radio, I turn it down.
"So Scott you are mad at me."
"We are going to do this talking thing now."
"Yes. Why are you mad at me?"
"I'm not."
"Yes you are Scott I can tell."
"You are so stupid Alex you don't know everything"
"I know you. Spill."
He is silent, feet kicking back and forth.
"I can drive really slow and then we can sit in the driveway for hours or you can talk."
"I think you do stuff because that is what dad or mom would have wanted you to do and that fine but ..."
He stops I wait.
"But what Scott"
"You hardly ever listened to them when they were alive. You got in trouble every day. You got in fights, put in detention and I guess I miss you."
"I'm still me, a more responsible me but still me you know that Scott"
"I know that but you were so selfish. You always did what made you happy. I always thought it was cool, stupid but braze, now you don't."
"I had dad and mom to watch out for me. No matter what I did they had my back, sometime they beat my ass but they still protected me. I can't just do dumb shit with no one watching my back, I have to watch your back."
"You can't not do stuff that makes you happy. I'm not saying to go burn down another barn I'm just saying take some risk. I want you to be happy to Alex."
"Being happy doesn't have to be me doing stupid stuff. Scott I'm happy right now."
He frowns, looks at his knees. "You never do anything for yourself anymore."
"I have Armando."
"Armando makes you happy?"
"Yes he does."
"Good I like him and he likes you a lot so don't push him away. You can't fuck things up with him."
"I was actually thinking about asking him to move in official, what do you think."
"Yes please do that tonight that would awesome, you're not so dumb"
"Scott seriously I'm a down low genius, you should know that already."
He shakes his head laughs and grabs hold of my hand, I give his hand a little squeeze.
"What did you do for them on the anniversary?"
"I prayed, nothing special. It was busy and Gabe was having fun I didn't want to remind him and you where making cow eyes at Armando. I thought it might be better if we didn't think about it."
"I wanted to do something to remember them."
"Next year."
I nod "I don't make cow eyes."
"Lies you do, big stupid cow eyes."
"Asshole"
He laughs and rests his head against the window his hand held tight in mine.

When we get home Scott goes to bed no questions asked. Gabe takes a bit more work but he's had a long day and he falls asleep fast. I grab two beers from the kitchen and lead Armando out back. we sit on the deck feet kicked up on the porch rail watching the night sky. He doesn't push just smoke a cigarette, when it's done he takes my hand and rest our entwined finger in his lap.
I clear my throat and look at our entwined hands. "Would you like to move in here with me and the monsters for really."
He laughs and gives my hand a squeeze. "What if I like having my own place."
"You don't have to say yes."
I try to push away the wave of disappointment, he's right of course there is no reason he should be trapped here.
"I was joking Alex of course I'm moving in."
I punch him hard, he tries to dodge my fist but he doesn't do a good job of it.
He bats my hand away "This is spousal abuse."
"Take it like a man."
I pinch his arm, he pinches me back, I hop out the seat to get away from him. He sits back in his seat.
"I won."
"How was that winning."
"You moved first."
I roll my eyes and grab my beer take a long sip, he reaches out for me. I step closer letting him pull me till I'm sitting in his lap.
He reaches out turn my face to look at him "You are not going to get all crazy in a few weeks when you realize I'm really living here because when I give up my apartment that's it."
"I think you're the one that is going to spaze out, sometime, eventual."
"Why."
"Because no one can just roll with all this shit, it's not natural."
"That's what they say about mutants and I feel pretty dame natural. I'm not leaving."
I run my fingers over his arm mapping out lines on his skin.
"I believe you."
"No you don't Alex but one day you will."
I lean forward rest my head on his shoulder. "I'm kind of crazy about you Armando you know that right."
"I would hope so, you can't just be letting any old body move up in your house."
I laugh shift so he has all my weight.
"We should go to bed."
He kisses the side of my neck.
"In a little while."
I yawn. "Okay"

I come out the shower Armando is sitting in my bed reading one of my Animorph books from when I was a kid.
"Why are you reading that."
"I always thought these books looked interesting, I never got around to reading them."
"Because you where reading the dictionary"
"Something like that."
I feel him watching me as I drop the towel. I was oddly comfortable with the weight of his eyes on me. In all the nights we have spent in my bed we had done nothing more the grope and kiss. He was being careful with me and it was getting frustrating. I drop the boxers I was holding and climb into the bed.
"We should fuck."
He looks at me eyebrow raised.
"Don't give me that look Armando it's a great idea."
"We should wait a little longer."
"It been almost 3 fucking months and really I'm sick of waiting, handjobs and blowjobs are wonderful but the internet told me full on gay sex is way better."
He laughs, I shut him up with a kiss, he pulls me till I'm in his lap and I know that is a yes. I end up on my back my hand pressed to my mouth, Armando between my legs his fingers stretching me open, I rock down wanting more, so much fucking more, his fingers rub hard against the magic spot. I squeeze my eyes shut, gasp against my hand. He sucks hard on the inside of my thigh, licks the spot where his fingers press inside me. I bit my hand, his tongue pushes in alongside his fingers, fuck fuck fuck that is just wrong. He wiggles it there inside me, using his fingers to press me open so his tongue can move just there, my whole body surges upward, he sits back laughing, his fingers press deeper into me.
"Relax Alex."
"I can't God Armando I fucking can't."
He pushes against that spot once twice, my toes curl, it's almost hurtful, almost too much holding back. He leans over me press a kiss above my eyes
"You don't have to hold back Alex I got you."
His fingers fuck into me, I reach out cling to his shoulder.
"I want you inside me."
He kisses my neck, sucks hard on my collarbone.
"Soon."
He pulls back, slides back down there between my legs, he presses a kiss to the head of my dripping cock, I groan close my eyes. He adds a third finger, crook all three and twist them just so, I whimper presses down on his fingers, he licks the underside of my dick, sucks hard on the head.
"Jesus you are trying to kill me, fuck me Armando now, fuck me now."
He laughs, the fucker laughs and pulls his fingers out. It's too long, the space between his fingers leaving me and the feel of his cock pressing into me. He goes slow pushing past the ring of muscle, he hold my hips down, I bit my hand hard, he is thick so much thicker than the three fingers, stretching me open, so fucking open, my muscles clutch around the blunt head of his cock.
"Breath Alex just breath."
I suck in a harsh breath, let it out, he pushes in, waits a beat, than he is surging forward, I try to buck up, his big hands hold me down, I reach for him warp an arm around his neck pulling him to me, he licks his way into my mouth, I whimper suck on his tongue, then he is rocking into me small smooth thrust, my whole body is shaking. He shifts up into me and starts really moving, fucking into me, I pull out the kiss, fling my head back into the pillows, push my hips up trying to get more GODDDDDD. God. God. God. God. I feel it the energy in me moving all the way through me, gathering in the center of me. I open my eyes wanting to see him, he is watching me, his hips rolling forward ramming him deeper into me. I bit my lip, reach my hand down between us and jerk myself. He leans forward, I lean up press down to meet his thrust, I suck on his lower lip, squeeze my eyes shut, he smashes into that spot one, four, six times and I'm coming hard, spilling warm and mess between us. I cling to his shoulder, kiss him hard, I feel it crawling up and out of me. Not so big, not like last time but enough, I arch up trying to breath. It burst out the center of me, he fucks into me hard, I watch him shift from flesh, to stone, to steel, to something I can't name, my flames just roll over him vanish to nothing, he is beautiful, powerful, perfect, mine. He comes with a growl shoves into me hard, I clinch down tight around his dick, warp my arms around his neck, laugh into his mouth. He slides out of me, rolls us on our side.
"You Armando are amazing."
He tugs on my hair turning my head for another soft kiss.
"Yes I've been told god like"
"Asshole."
I use the sheet to wipe us down. We curl up on the not damp side of the bed and sleep.

Fall

It takes 2 weeks before we find the time too actually move Armando in. Sean is still hanging around giving me warning looks. Raven takes off for five days and comes back with Hank. Armando leaves the three of them plus Angel in charge of the shop for 3 days. It takes two days to move all Armando stuff in and find room for it all.
While I'm shove shit in places I clean the house the way my dad use to clean it ever year before spring official started. We toss out half the broken shit in the garage and can now actually fit two cars in there. I don't touch mom and dad room. I sweep it out, dust stuff down, open the window to let air in but I don't touch anything. My mom jewelry box is half open, my dad left three ties on the bed ,my mom had a dress and skirt hanging over the arm of the chair, it all stays as is. I leave the door open to let the air in and head to my room which is now our room. I took down all the posters the day after I asked Armando to move in. Repainted the walls last week. We swapped my full bed for his king. I cleared out closet space and moved in his set of dressers.
The space looks different not at all like it was before, it looks like the room of a grown up.
"Alex I'm hungry"
I turn around to find Gabe standing in the doorway, he has paint on his arms and shirt I let him and Scott paint their rooms, he went a bit overboard.
"I'm coming, where are Scott and Armando"
"Cleaning out the basement. You only let Armando move in so you could trick us into cleaning."
"Of course I mastermind the whole thing. Go to the kitchen I'll be right there."
He stomps off. I lift the picture of the two small kids, a girl and boy standing with a tall serious looking man. I knew they were Armando stepfather, brother and sister. He had newer pictures of them but this is the one that sits on the dresser next to the last family picture the Summers clan ever took. I put the picture down and leave the room.

I'm mostly done with lunch, sandwiches and chips, when Scott and Armando stumble into the kitchen looking like they spent a year crawling thought drain pipes.
"What the fuck did you two do."
They are both smiling wide and happy. Scott answers
"We clean the basement"
"Really."
"Yes it is shiny and new and I am going to turn it into my lab."
"You need a lab for what?"
"For stuff."
Armando runs a hand through Scott's hair. "Let him have it Alex he worked really hard."
"Fine you can have your dame lab. Go wash that shit off your hands before you eat."
He rolls his eyes and stomps out the kitchen. I wave Armando away. "You too dude."
He smirks and follows Scott out the room.

After lunch I get to work on the ground floor. The kitchen and living room where cleaned regular which left dad's office and the closets.
I push open the door to dad's office, it's neat if dusty. I put away all the papers, tuck them in boxes, clear out the desk and filing cabinet. I toss out the half broken chair dad refuse to get rid off and dust off the love seat in the corner, I wax the bookshelves and pack the books away. I sweep and mop the wood floors, open the window and look around the room, it's a good space. I drag in Armando desk chair and his boxes of books. I take the key off the hook by the door.
I find Armando in the front yard with Gabe helping him decide what he really wants to keep from the huge pile of toys he has stored in the basement.
"Come here"
They both look up. I put out a hand for Armando and wave Gabe toward the house.
"Gabe go find Scott"
He stomps off to the house. I lead Armando to my dad office and put the key in his hand.
"It's your if you want it."
He looks at the key in the palm of his hand"
"Are you sure"
"Yes you can't keep working at the kitchen table."
"Why would I need a key?"
"So you can have your own space when you feel annoyed or something not calm like."
He laughs and slips the key back into my hand.
"I'll take the office, thank you I know it's a big thing, you giving it to me but you keep the key."
"That defeats the purpose of a locked door."
"It will never be locked to you"
I roll my eyes. "Really you say that now."
"And mean it always. Keep the key if I change my mind I'll take it back."
"Oh you will change your mind give it time."
He presses a kiss to my forehead "You are so pessimistic."
"No I'm a realist."
He shakes his head and lets me lead him into his new space.

By the end of the second day the house look amazing. Armando stuff fit like he did, like they were meant to be there anyway.
The third day is a Friday. I pay the bills. Armando insists on helping since he lives with us. I let him help a little. All the bills paid I put money away for living expenses and make Scott and Gabe get dressed.
They whine and complain all the way to the mall. I get them out the car. Gabe clings to Armando hand, pressing his face against Armando stomach.
"I don't want to go back to school."
I roll my eyes "Gabe no one wants to go back to school but your still going."
Scott frown "I find nothing wrong with school."
Me and Gabe glare at him and snap the same answer.
"Teacher pet"
He pouts, Armando laughs and pulls the list from my clenched hands. I am in no way looking forward to this but it must be done. Armando looks the list over.
"I think we should start with clothes."
I look at Gabe and Scott they had spent most of the summer shoveling food in to their greedy little mouths and had mange to grown, a lot.
"Fine clothes but we do this fast."
Armando takes my hand and starts me toward the kid clothing store, Gabe reaches back grabs hold of Scott hand and we walk like that to the store.

I hate clothes shopping. I always try to avoid it till all my socks have hole in them and my tee shirts are worn through. Scott see shopping as a necessary thing. Gabe love shopping for any and all things. Armando is very fashion forward so I'm assuming that means he loves to shop.
The first store is not so bad, we find Scott a bunch of shirts on sale that he really likes. The second store is a disaster. Gabe wants everything. He clings to shirts and jeans and shoes. It takes bribes promises and a tug of war to make it out the store. The third store is neither bad nor good. There is a smack down fight over a pair or bright orange sneakers but I still only spent 70$ so I take it as a win. We head to Staples for supply. It's after 5 I'm tired and hunger, I really just want to get in my bed and sleep for a week.

I let them pick whatever they want, I'm done fighting. I push the cart and look off into space. I see out of the corner of my eye Armando and Gabe doing some weird bargain thing and then Gabe swaps the books in his hands for the ones in Armando's hands. He is good at this, like my dad use to be good at getting us good stuff without let us over run him for all the new shiny crappy stuff. I take after my mom after 2 stores I stop caring. I remember the year I started high school me and Scott went school shopping with mom alone and came out with tons of shit we did not need. When my dad got back from his conference and saw the stuff he flipped and never again was my mom allowed to take us shopping unsupervised.
When we get to check out the cart is full, Scott and Gabe dump stuff on the counter. Gabe is telling Armando about the gym teacher Mr. Burns who is a legendary asshole.
I push the cart to the end and start loading bags, than we are heading out to the parking lot. I stop blink, rub a hand over my face and turn to look at Armando.
"You so just paid for that didn't you."
He smirks at me and walks off Gabe and Scott trail after him laughing at me. I follow pushing the cart.

We decide on burgers for dinner, we get them to go. I settle into the passage side seat and close my eyes. Scott and Gabe are fighting over the right to play some game. The radio is on and I can mostly tune it out. I reach across and grab Armando hand, he gives my fingers a squeeze. Last year back to school shopping had been hell. Gabe cried a lot and didn't talk and Scott tried to be mature and serious and only pick low priced boring things. I felt like crap but I couldn't afford to get him the things he really wanted.
When we get home. Scott and Gabe are still fighting but they help carry the stuff inside. We eat and then they put their stuff away. While they unpack I put dirty clothes to wash and go to the living room which is empty and turn on the TV find a movie and settle in for me time. I watch the whole movie all the way though no one comes in to bother me. I find another movie and start watching it. I look at the clock it's after 9 I need to put brats to bed. I turn off the TV. Put the wet clothes in the dryer and head upstairs.
Everyone is in Scott's room. Armando and Scott sit on his bed. Gabe is modeling a new outfit. Scott points at him
"That is so first day chic."
I snort. "Model show over, get ready for bed"
"But"
I raise my hand cutting them off. "School starts tomorrow your late nights are over."
They look to Armando like they expect him to say something different he shakes his head.
"Your brother told you what to do."
They pout, Gabe leaves the room, Scott slides off the bed.
Teeth are brushed, faces washed. I tuck Scott in, he say he doesn't need it but I do it anyway. Press a kiss to his forehead, he squeeze his eyes shut, I put his glasses on the nightstand.
"This year is going to be different"
"Different but not hard Scott, I talked to your principal about the glasses and your powers. You're not the only mutant at school, Ross is a hard ass but she's always been good at handling stuff at school."
"But she is the principle what about the students."
"If they bother you tell me I have no problem beating down 11 year olds."
He laughs and presses his face into the pillow.
"I'll be here when you get home."
"I love you Alex."
"I love you too Scotty really way more than you deserve"
"Asshole."
"Watch that underage mouth of yours."
I kiss his forehead again and sit with him till his breath evens out and he is asleep. I leave his room and go to Gabe's.
Armando is sitting next to him on the bed, book open in his lap but he's not reading. I step closer Gabe is asleep on his stomach face pressed into his pillow.
"My mom always worried he would suffocate himself while he was asleep."
"I was thinking that."
"He's fine. Come on bed time for adults."
He closes the book, places it on the nightstand. I shut off the light, he close the door behind us.

I lay in bed my head on Armando shoulder. Now would be the perfect time to have sex but I can't stop thinking off all the way Scott could accidently burn down the school.
"I don't want to take them to school they always make it hard."
Armando runs a hand down my back, press a kiss to the top if my head. "I'll take them"
"What if they want me to take them, I mean it's like a tradition or something… Fuck we have to make breakfast."
"What."
"It's a tradition we have to do it tomorrow."
I roll over and press my face into the pillow, I miss my parents. I feel like a stupid kid but I can't help it. I wish I was 12 again when Gabe was still new and Scott was tiny and I could fit in my dad's lap.
"Alex are you oaky."
I lay on my side and start talking I can't stop myself. I talk about random shit anything that comes into my head. Armando rubs my back and listens.

Last year the first day of school had been hell. Mom had this tradition she got from her dad. On the first day of school he would make this huge crazy breakfast. Grandpa had held the tradition all the way through college and grad school in her last year of grad school when I was like 4 or something he showed up at our house the night before and I woke up the next morning to this crazy breakfast and she keep that tradition every year since I started kindergarten. Last year I didn't even try, everything was still too new, to swollen, I couldn't think of what she would have wanted, about family or tradition, all I knew was how fucking lonely I felt. This year I got up early and forced Armando to get up and help me. We flipped thought the family cookbook and came up with ideas and set to work on breakfast. I go and wake Scott and Gabe up, Armando put the finishing touches on our masterpiece. By the time they stumble into the kitchen dressed for school the table is set the food is done. Scott comes in first his eyes go wide and he throws himself at me so hard I almost fall, he pulls away and hugs Armando just as hard. Gabe come in the room blinks his eyes go wide and then he start crying big gulping sobbing tears. I warp him in a hug.
"What wrong Gabby."
"I'm happy."
I laugh and let him cry into the front of my shirt, than he kisses me, presses snotty wet kisses to my cheeks, chin, forehead and it's all good. When he is done crying I wipe his face and we sit and eat. I turn them over to Armando. I gladly hand over dropping Scott and Gabe off at school duty to him. Last year every day was a fight. Gabe never wanted to get out the car and as much as Scott loved school he had problem being separated from Gabe. So it was now Armando job and I got to open the shop which was way easier to deal with. I clean up our mess and put the leftovers in the fridge. I lock the dogs in the backyard and drive into work.
Sean is sitting by the side of the road pouting at the ground.
"Why are you here so early."
He glare at me. "Hank and Raven."
"Meaning." I unlock the front door and let us in.
"They had a fight and then they fucked to make the world right and they woke up and did it again, the fighting and the sex. I had to get out, where is boss man."
"At school."
He frowns. "He took the kids to school? Why not you?"
"He's better at it."
I drop my bag in the office and pull on my hat and apron.
"Since you are here you might as well help me open."
"Fine but I get to clock in."
I roll my eyes. "No Sean work for free."
He looks at me like he doesn't understand a word I'm saying.
"Clock in Sean."
"You are not my boss."
"Whatever."
I push past him to get to work.

Scott comes home from the first day of school and hands me an application for classes at the local community college.
"What the fuck is this."
He opens the fridge and takes out a bottle of juice.
"From Principal Ross, she says you better get you GED this year or she is coming over here and tutoring you herself. She looked very strict when she said it. I would not second guess her."
"Seriously."
"Seriously."
He pours himself a glass and rest the juice on the counter. Gabe runs into the room tosses his bag on the floor stand on tip toes and pull the juice off the counter, he opens the bottle and takes a long swing right out the bottle. I roll my eyes
"God in short pants Gabe why can't you be more like Scott."
He blinks at me smiles and takes another long pull on the bottle. I look at the application.
"Classes started already."
"Late registration ends Friday."
"You read this over."
"And the course book, it's in my book bag I'll get it for you."
"You want me to do this."
"Yes but you don't have to, unless you want to."
"I'll think about it. How was your first day?"
I set two plates with sandwiches and chips on the table. Scott washes his hand before sitting down in front his plate. Gabe just hops in his seat and start eating, chips first.
"It was fine I got Mr. Hall"
"He's okay for a homeroom teacher, not too pushy."
"He's fine none of the assholes are in my class but I still see them at recess."
"Anyone bother you."
"No they were all to interested in who Armando was."
"Really and what did you tell them."
He just smirks and takes a bite of his sandwich.
"Scott what did you tell them."
Armando comes into the kitchen carrying Scott book bag.
"Tell who what."
I turn to look at him. "The kids in school about you."
He arch an eyebrow. "He told them I was your husband. Principal Ross said I seem like a good kid and would be a calming influences on you, she wished us many happy years together."
I glare at Scott. "Seriously."
He shrugs and chews his sandwich. "Seriously."
Gabe offer me a chip. "It's okay Alex I told my teacher the same thing she thinks you and Armando are very pretty together."
I eat the chip he offers and the next one he offers.
"You two suck."
I head out the kitchen grabbing the application off the counter. I take hold of Armando shirt sleeve and pull him after me. He tugs himself free of my hold but follows me out to the back yard.
I stomp around and turn to face him he is frowning and I hate that look.
I snap "What."
"It bothers you what they told their teachers."
"It doesn't bother you?"
"No, should it."
"Armando."
" Why does it bother you so much."
"Because it's a fucking lie. I mean I don't care if they told them we where together but we are not married. It's getting kind of old the run fucking joke, from Angel and Raven and the monsters and now people think it's real and whatever." I run a hand through my hair.
He is looking at me head titled to the side like he is try to understand me. I turn away from him walk to one end of the yard and back.
"It bothers you Alex because you don't want to be married, can't you just say that, it doesn't hurt my feelings."
I tug on my hair and not look at him. The application in my hand is wrinkled I try to smooth it out.
"It's not that."
"Fine it's not that."
"Why does it not bother you."
"Because I really don't care what other people think about us, I want to know what you think of us."
"You don't ever care what other people think about anything."
"I can't help that, would you like for me to start giving a shit what people think before I make choices."
"No. just shut up."
It's calm, the dogs are napping in the sun, the leaves are blowing and Armando has shut up. I tug on my shirt sleeve and feel stupid.
"Alex, you wanted to ask me something."
"I hate that you are like this ultimate calm cool collected dude about everything, you just know what you want all the fucking time."
"I don't always know what I want."
"It seems like you do."
He walks toward me I look up meet his gaze and look away.
"Alex I know I want to be with you, I know I like what I have with you, I know I love my job that's about it."
"Well you are very good at faking shit."
I shove the application toward him, he takes it. I watch his hand smooth out the wrinkles.
"College."
"They have GED classes Principal Ross sent it home with Scott."
"You want to know if you should go."
I kick a rock across the yard. "I want to know if you'll let me go."
He gives my shoulder a push."Say that so it makes sense."
I roll my eyes and look up to meet his gaze, he is giving me a small smile, he's not passively aggressively mad anymore.
"I mean if I can find time to go. I don't want to stick you with the brats all the time."
"If you want to do this Alex you're going to do this. Go register tomorrow."
"Okay."
He laughs and reaches for me, I warp my arms around his neck and hug him hard.
"I don't care that people know we are together." I press the word against his shoulder.
"I know."
"I don't know why the marriage jokes bother me."
He tilts my head back and kisses me. "It fine Alex we're good."
I kiss him than bury my face against his neck. "Oaky."

We go back to the kitchen. Brats fed we head to the shop. Scott and Gabe fill Raven and Angel in on their day at school then Armando banish them to the office to do their homework. We close the shop early and head home. Armando makes dinner I go over Gabe and Scott homework. We eat, I put them to bed, he cleans up. It all feels stupidly domestic. I stop every now and then to breath and not think because I'm not sure how this happened and I don't like to think on it to hard, it might break if I try to understand it.
I stand under the flow of the shower and try to think about me. Armando wouldn't care if my parents came back from the dead and found us fucking in our bed. He's probably just smile and introduce himself. I would care, I'd freak out and get pissed and possible curse them out for coming into my room without knocking. There is a knock on the door.
"Alex are you swimming in there.
""No I'm washing."
"I need a shower too."
"Come in."
He pushes open the door, I open the shower curtain and watch him strip, admiring the smooth clean lines of his body. He hops in the shower, I drape myself against him and drag him in for a kiss.
"What where you doing in here if not jerking off.
"Trying to think"
"Bout what."
"Myself I guess."
He sucks on my earlobe presses a kiss just beside it.
"What did you figure out?"
"Nothing."
He runs his hands down my back, slides them down over my butt and grabs one cheek in each of his big hands
"You'll figure it out."
I kiss him sucks on his bottom lip.
"For now I think you should fuck me."
He leans in suck on my shoulder.
"We could just go to the bedroom Alex."
"Live a little."
He pushes me up against the wall and lifts me upward I warp my legs around his waist.
"There is no lube in the shower."
I suck on his neck. "There is liquid soap."
"Such a clever little boy."
"Don't you forget it."
He lets me down to grab the soap. Then he is pressing me against the wall fingers in my ass, I kiss him hard and cling to his shoulders, he works me open, than his fingers are gone, I tighten my hold on his shoulders, he pushes into me, I grunt rest my head against the wall and breath, I will never get use to the stretch of him. I let him slide all the way in before pushing my hips downward, he groans against my shoulder shudder, then he is shoving upward hitting the sweet spot dead on.
"Fuck Armando move now."
And he does fucks into me and we don't last long because we never find enough time to do this.
After he washes me down, kisses the bruises on my shoulder and hip, I lick the nail marks, I left on his shoulder. We towel off and get into bed naked. It was a new thing sleeping skin to skin curled together under the sheet.

When Armando gets to the shop from dropping the brats at school I grab my bag and drive to the community college, it's a 40 minute drive. I register for GED classes and some starter college classes. Me and Armando had gone over 4 possible schedules so I just found classes that I needed and plug then into the right times, hand over money on loan from Armando and I'm official back in school. I drive back to the shop feeling slightly accomplished.
When I get back the place is mostly empty, there are some people sitting at a few of the tables but no line. Armando is behind the register, he smiles when he sees me.
I lean over the counter and press a kiss to his mouth.
"I'm in."
"When do you start?"
"Tomorrow."
"You are going to have to go shopping."
"Can't you do it for me."
"No but I can go with you."
He tugs on my hair pulling me in for another kiss, I go with it suck on his lip and drag him back for more when he tries to end it.
He push my hair off my forehead "You look happy."
"I am happy, why would I not be happy."
He shakes his head tugs me in for another kiss. We pull apart.
"I'm going to put my bag down."
He waves me off.
I head back to the office drop off my bag and grab my apron. When I get back outside we have a line.
After the mid morning rush Armando grabs his car keys leaves Angel in charge and drags me off to the mall.
"Why do I need new clothes?"
"Because as cute as the dirty skater boy look is on you Alex you might want to look neat when you start school, also you don't own a pair of jeans without a hole in them."
He parks the car, I hop out slam my door and shove my hands in the pocket of my comfortable jeans
"But there're all comfortable."
He gives me a slow once over, a smile spread across his face.
"They look good on you."
I laugh and give his shoulder a shove
"Then why do I need new ones."
"So you can have the option to wear pants without holes in them."
I roll my eyes, he warps an arm around my waist, I tuck my hand in the back pocket of his jeans.
"We grab the first thing that looks good and we're out."
"Sure."
I turn to glare at him. "You're being sarcastic."
"Glad you can tell."
He opens the door to the shop and pushes me in first.
He takes 2 hours finding me clothes and making me try them on. When he is happy he final pays and lets me out the shop, then we go get me notebooks and pens and I don't mind that at all. We pass a jacket store on the way out the mall, I spot a jacket in the window, it's an awesome dark brown leather jacket I stop and look at it. I love the cut of it.
"You like it."
"Yes but it is staying in the window. You spent too much money on me as is, just let me look at it and dream."
"Alex."
"Shut up you're not buying it."
He shuts up and looks at my jacket. I sigh and take his hand and lead him away.
"Do not go back and buy it. If you bring it home I'm taking it back."
"Fine no surprise jacket for Alex."
"Good."
"What about for your birthday."
"If it 200 dollars and under it is acceptable, anything more than 200 and I won't take it."
I stop and turn to look at him. "I mean it Armando. I will find out how much it cost one dollar over 200 and it goes back."
"Fine I got it."
I nod and start walking again. He waits five steps before asking.
"Can you tell me why I'm not allowed to buy you the jacket?"
"Because I'm not your fucking keep boy and you can't treat me like one."
"How am I doing that?"
"You bought me a closet worth of new clothes, you spend crazy amounts of money on Gabe and Scott and on fixing the backyard and you always mange to pay for groceries and you write my paycheck."
"You are feeling indebted."
"Shut up."
"I'm just trying to figure out the rules of pleasing Alex Summers."
"Seriously don't joke about it. I hate that I can't do the same for you."
He tugs me to a stop. "Do you really think that matters? Money doesn't mean anything Alex."
"Only people with money say that."
He pauses tilts his head to the side its Armando thinking pose.
"No I'm pretty sure when I had no money I still didn't give a fuck about money. It doesn't make life better just easier but not happier."
"But you can use money to buy things to make yourself happy."
"Or I can use it to make other people happy which in turn make me happy."
I roll my eyes. "Well I don't care if buying me things make you happy, it makes me feel shitty."
"You're being selfish."
"Yes I am."
He smirks." Fine be selfish deprive me of making you happy."
"Dame right I will. Come on we have to get back to work."
"I'm going to find a way around this."
"Feel free to try."
He looks back over his shoulder at the jacket shop already plotting. I tug on his arm to get him moving, we head back to the car.

The next day Armando takes the brats to school, I open the shop when he gets in I head to school. I get lost finding my first class. When I finally find it I'm late the professor doesn't even look up as I find a seat in the back. Everyone in the class looks ridiculously young. I open my book and try to pay attention. Finding my second class is a lot easier. It's a shock to walk into my English 101 class and find Lorne Dane sitting there. I always thought she would have head off to the city, she was that kind of girl everyone expect big things from her. But there she was still looking as unbelievably gorgeous as when I last saw her. The first time I saw Lorne Dane I thought my heart explode in my chest, freshmen year she walked into my homeroom, long green hair falling over her shoulder, sharp eyes and a mouth made for sucking cock, she smiled and sat next to me and somehow I found words to talk to her. I spent all of freshmen and sophomore year with her on a pedestal hopeless in love with idea of her while I messed around with other girls and guys, JR year we got to be friends. Sr year was a mess I did a bunch of dumb shit including drop out of school, accidently burn down a house, getting arrested and run away from home. My dad chases me down and brought me back home he made it clear home was where I belong. Lorne was one of the only people from school that came around to my house that spring after the I stop hang out and going to parties. We started dating in April, my parents died in July and everything but Scott and Gabe cease to exist. And here she is again. She smiled toss her hair over her shoulder and pointed to the seat next to hers. I sit down and it's like we were right back in high school no long pause, no awkward break up between us.
When class is over we sit and talk I end up missing my third class. We exchange phone number I run off to my fourth class.
It's after 2 when I'm done with class I head to the parking lot and Loren is there standing in front a lime green car.
"Green really."
She laughs and push her hair behind her ear. "It's a reliable good car. Are you still driving your junk pile?"
"My classic mustang yes I am."
"It's a junk pile. What are you doing now?"
I glance at my watch. The brats would be done with school soon. "I have to go get my brothers than head to work."
She nods. "That's cool. How are Gabe and Scott doing?"
"Awesome they are doing awesome."
"Where are you working now."
"The shop you know it."
"Yes I've been there a few times they make amazing ice cream drinks."
I laugh. "It's a cool spot come by some time."
"Maybe I will later since you'll be there slaving away."
I look at my watch. "That would be cool I'll make you an awesome drink I have to go now."
She hugs me; I hug back and walk off to my car.

When I get to the brats school they are out front waiting. Gabe is playing with a paper plane Scott is watching him. I honk they run over to the car and climb in the back. They talk over each other telling me about their day.
The shop is packed Gabe and Scott sit in the office doing their home work. I help out front. It's after six when the store clears out. Gabe and Scott are done with their homework. Gabe is working on drinks with Sean. Scott is cleaning up the front of the shop. Armando takes my hand and leads me to the office.
"How was your first day?"
I laugh. "You've been dying to ask me that for hours."
He gives me a look eyebrow arched. "As a matter of fact I have. How was it?"
"Odd but good I meet a friend from high school Lorne Dane"
"Do you like your classes?"
"No they are kind of boring but that's fine it will be an easy ride."
"You could still switch to something more interesting."
"I'm fine with boring and easy."
I step closer he warps an arm around my waist, I lean in and kiss him.
"I've wanted to do that for hours."
He laughs and kisses me. "I bet you have."
I drag him in for more kisses. The door opens Gabe sticks his head in
"Come out now and taste my drink. Now, no more kissing."
Armando laughs against my mouth and pulls back, I let Gabe grab my hand and lead me back outside.

First week of school done, it's a Saturday my day off. I get so sleep late Armando takes Gabe and Scott to the shop I lie around in our bed and do nothing I can stay home all day and do nothing. By 12 I'm bored out my mind I shower dress and drive into work. Gabe spots me first.
"Alex come here."
I go to him he toss himself at me. "I hit my head."
I rub his head. "How did that happen?"
He shrugs. "It happened."
I look to Raven who shrugs. "He was with Sean they didn't give a lot of details."
I look around the shop. "Where is Sean?"
"Break, the boss and Scott are in the office."
"Cool."
Gabe leans heavy against my side. "Pick me up please."
I laugh and pick him up carrying him to the office. Scott is past out on the sofa Armando is frowning at his computer.
"Surprise."
He looks up and smiles a slow easy thing, fuck I never get use to how perfect he looks.
"Where did you come from."
"Home I was lonely all alone in that big old house."
I drop Gabe into his lap Gabe settle himself there. Armando tugs on his hair.
"Did he tell you how he hit his head?"
I shake my head. "Ask Sean."
Armando shakes his head. "I didn't understand what he said."
"I'll ask him when he gets back. Do you need help?"
"No but you can stay anyway."
"I was planning to."
I take off my jacket and hang it up check on Scott he snorts in his sleep and shift pressing his face against the pillow. "How long has he been asleep?"
"About an hour he ate 3 burgers for lunch I think he's finally going to start growing."
"That will suck a lot for our food situation."
"I'll be fine."
I look away from Scott to Armando who has gone back to the computer Gabe is mostly asleep in his lap. I lift Gabe and sit in the seat next to Armando I watch him work.

Scott gets up and actually want to help behind the bar Gabe tutors him in drink making. It's really slow for a Saturday, really slow. We invent new crazy drinks. There is a small rush than it goes back to being dead. We work on making face in drinks.
I add whip cream hair to my perfect happy face, Armando stand behind me, hands on my hips, his chin on my shoulder
"That's the best one yet."
Raven snorts. "Your only saying that because he's your husband."
I turn to give her a look. "He is saying that because it's the best, look I capture true joy in his chocolate chip eyes."
Raven laughs, Armando presses a kiss to my neck. Someone clear their throat
"Service please."
We turn around I find Lorne smirking at us.
"For you no service."
Armando gives me a look eyes brow raise,
I roll my eyes "I know her dude, she's not like a real customer."
He nods turns to her. "Hi than."
I take his hand and pull him over. "Armando met Lorne Dane. Lorne this is my boyfriend Armando."
She gives him her full on charming smile the one that use to rearrange my world, it had no affect on him at all. He offers her a hand they shake. He gives her his charming smile and she melts a little.
"It's nice to meet you Armando, when Alex said he worked here he fail to mention he was dating the owner."
Armando glances over at me "Really when he told me he had a friend from high school in his class he fail to mention that you would be quite so stunning."
She laughs and tosses her hair over her shoulder. "Alex often fails to fill in the details."
I step in. "No Alex bashing. Lorne do you want a drink?"
"Sure make me something special."
"Gabe and Armando are really good at that I only do it by the book."
She smirks." Really that is surprising. I remember you being very against the book."
"This is different hold on I'll get Gabe to make you a drink."
Armando shakes his head. "I'll get Gabe stay talk."
He walks off I watch him go. I can feel Raven eyes burning a hole in the back of my neck I turn and wave her over.
"This is Raven."
She gives Lorne a chilly smile. "I've heard nothing about you."
She shots me a dark look and I know she will be grilling me later.
Loren shrugs. "I'm sure there isn't too much to tell." She looks around the shop. "This is a very nice place."
Raven gives her a sharp look. "It's all Armando design."
Armando comes back with Gabe who smile when he see Lorne.
"Hi green hair lady."
She gives him a soft smile. "Hi Gabe it's been awhile."
He nods. "I'm gone make you an awesome drink."
He runs over to the bar. Armando watches him go. "I'm going to help him."
Raven gives Lorne a once over. "My shift is over I'm heading out."
I give her a hopeful smile. "I'll see you tomorrow Raven."
She glares at me. "No I will be calling you tonight."
She walks off to the office.
Lorne laughs. "Did I get you in some kind of trouble?"
"No that's just Raven being Raven."
Sean comes out the office and spots Lorne. He walks up to the counter and gives her a smirk. "Hello lovely."
I laugh, he toss me a filthy look I laugh harder Lorne give him an amused smile.
"Hi there little boy what's your name."
He looks at me than back at her. "You're a friend of this asshole." He shoves my shoulder
She nods." Yes I am." She offer him her hand "Lorne Dane"
He shakes his head. "Sean, you're way too pretty to be his friend."
She laughs. "You're too young for me Sean."
"Age is just a number."
"A number I pay attention to."
He pouts. "I'll get older."
"So will I.
Gabe comes back holding a cup. "I finished it Armando added the whip cream I'm still not good at that yet."
She smiles down at him. "It looks amazing Gabe thank you."
She takes a sip her smile widens. "This is so good you are a very talented drink maker."
Gabe blushes hard and lean against Sean who drops a hand on his shoulder.
"Say thank you Gabe."
Gabe gives Lorne a shy smile. "Thank you."
He pushes Sean toward the back Sean lets himself be lead away. Armando finishes up clean up the mess. I neat up things by the register and glance at the clock. Armando comes to stand next to me I warp an arm around his waist.
"We should close early."
He looks at the clock. "We should close now."
"That works for me." I go turn the sign to close and start closing. Lorne finishes off her drink. Armando vanishes to the back. I talk to Lorne as I work on closing.
Lorne pushes her cup away. "That was an awesome drink how much do I owe you."
"Nothing of course go on get out of here I'll see you Monday."
She laughs. "Have a good Sunday."
I laugh and let her out. Armando and Scott come out front to help me finish closing up. We go home. Let the dogs in, eat dinner, play with Gabe and Scott put them to bed and curl up together under the sheets in our bed.

We wake up on Sunday and Armando decides we are staying home. He calls Angel and tells her she's opening the shop and we make breakfast and eat it in front the TV. I sit on the sofa curled into Armando side. Gabe and Scott sit on the floor the dogs sit with them the TV is the only sound in the room. I shift, Armando press a kiss to my forehead this is perfect. I drop off to the sleep when I wake up I'm alone on the sofa I can hear voices in the kitchen. I sit up stretching, it's after 12. I follow the sound of voices. Armando and Scott stand in front the sink washing their hands, Gabe sits on the counter feet swinging back and forth it smell amazing
"What are you guys making?"
Scott turns to smile at me. "A caramel brownie cake."
"It smells amazing."
"It's almost done."
I drop into a seat Scott come to my side. "Are you still tired."
"No I'm all rested up why."
"No reason."
"okay."
Armando rest a glass of water in front of me. "He wants you to go look at his project in his lab."
I look at Scott. "Of course I'll go look."
He blushes looks down at his feet. "It's not finished yet."
"Can I look anyway?"
"Ya okay."
"Let's go."
I take his hand and we head down to the basement. Armando had helped him build shelves and storage space it looks like a serious lab. I never really came down here because Scott never really asks me to come.
"What are you working on Scott."
"I'm growing a new type of flower."
"Like a hybrid."
He smiles. "Yes the first two tries failed but this one is growing."
"Can I see it."
He nods and lead me over to small table on the table in a small glass covering is a flower a beautiful purple flower it still very small.
"What did you call it?"
"I haven't named it yet I don't want to jinx it."
"A name is very important take your time, think of it."
He leans against my side. "I will."
I lean in closer and study his perfect purple flower.

After brownies we spend 3 hours playing some crazy version of monopoly I call it quits when it hits 3 and we have no idea who wining. I give the dogs a bath Scott and Gabe try to help, they make a mess and help not at all. When Bert gets free of the tub and tries to make a brake for the hall I kick them out the bathroom. When I'm done I head to the living room and find Scott and Gabe passed out on the floor. Armando takes my hand and leads me out back we sit on the porch. He lights a cigarette I look up at the evening sky.
"I liked today." I turn to look at him he is watching me.
"I liked it too."
"We should take days off more often."
He reaches for my hand tangles our finger together. "I was thinking the same thing."
"And caramel brownie cakes we should have that more often too."
He laughs and put out his cigarette. "We can do that too. Come here."
I move to sit in his lap let him warp his arms around me. He looks out toward the empty yard there is a frown on his brow.
"What are you thinking so hard about."
He says nothing. I give his hand a squeeze. "Come on Armando talk to me."
He turns to look at me. "I'm thinking that you might out grow me and I'm not sure what I will do."
I laugh he shoves me off his lap, I stumble a little still laughing. "You're so stupid Armando."
He glares at me. I lean in press a kiss to his mouth. "There is no way I'm leaving you behind. You're so far ahead of me I'm just try to catching up, one day we are going to be equal and from there we will just grow together always forward never apart."
He looks at me there is something in his face that I've never seen before.
I frown rub a hand over my chin. "What."
He shakes his head and smiles a slow wonderful thing, he pulls me till I'm kneeling between his legs his hand framing my face. "Thank you."
"Sure um your welcome I guess."
"I love you Alex."
I open my mouth possible to say something silly, he cuts me off with a kiss. "Don't say anything Summer just nod."
I nod. He kisses me again pulls me back into his lap. Something pokes me in the side. I pull out the kiss to find Gabe looking at us, his thumb in his mouth.
"What monster."
He pulls his thumb out his mouth. "I'm hunger Scott is still sleeping."
"Okay go inside we'll be right there."
He narrows his eyes. "I'm timing you." He runs off. I turn to Armando who is watching me a half smile on his face.
"What."
He shakes his head. "Nothing."
I poke him in the side. "One day you are actually going to have to answer that question."
"Not today let's go feed the kid."

Dinner ends up being takeout pizza. After dinner Scott and Gabe get a second wind they build a big fort in the living room and Armando gives them permission to spend the night in it. I help Gabe get showered and dressed for bed. Scott and Gabe run around grabbing stuff for their fort it's hardly 7 and they are ready for bed. They crawl into the fort the dogs follow. I stand in the door way to the living room and watch them. Armando comes to stand behind me
"We should make it an early night." He presses a kiss to my shoulder.
"Yes lets."
I let him lead me off to our room where we play a game of our own.
I come awake in the middle of the night positive I heard my dad call my name. I try to sit up Armando clings to my hip holding me in place. I settle down and listen closely. I feel warm and perfect I close my eyes settle back against Armando who hold on me tightens I breath out and drift back to sleep.

Winter

I am fucking freezing. I shove my hands in the pocket of my crappy stupid jacket. This was the worst day ever. This morning my car refused to start. Armando had already left with the brats. I couldn't find the keys to my dad's car so I had to take the fucking bus to work, the fucking bus. I hop up and down trying to get some blood flowing. It was so fucking cold why couldn't it just fucking snow already. A car honks. I look across the street a familiar lime green car sits by the curb, the driver side window rolls down.
"Alex what are you doing?"
I jog across the street. "Lorna oh my God I am so happy to see you. If you drive me to the shop I will love you forever."
She laughs and opens the passenger side door. "Where is your car?."
"Being a filth fickle bitch in my driveway."
She laughs again and start the car.
"I didn't know you went to the shop before school."
"I open, Armando take the monsters to school that's the deal."
"How is opening a shop easier than driving two boys to school."
"You have to try it once to understand. The bus was due 10 minutes ago."
"It doesn't away come on time I remember my days of taking the bus to school."
"That was like high school."
"Yes two whole years ago."
"It feels longer."
She gives me the shy questioning look I can never understand. "Not so long ago."
She turns on the radio. "What are you doing for winter break."
"Working a lot, the shop is really busy right now."
"All you do is work."
"I hang out sometime, we hung out two days ago."
"For two hours and we were studying for a test, that doesn't count. I mean you should come to a party with me."
"I'm a horrible drunk I do stupid things."
She laughs "You do stupid things sober Alex."
"Yes and its worst when I drink. Take a right here."
She does and pulls up in front the shop.
"Thank you for the ride I will buy you a drink after class."
"Good and a cookie."
"And a cookie. Where are you heading now?"
"Starbucks to study and get some coffee."
"You can come in and I'll make you coffee."
"That would be nice."
We get out the car. I unlock the door to the shop and let us in.

Lorna helps me open, we sing along to the radio and drink coffee. A few customer trickle in, mostly regulars I pass the shit with them, she sits by the counter and watches. It's after 8 when Armando comes in. I smile, he leans across the counter and give me a kiss.
"Gabe was extra clingy today, I had to bribed him with a new bay blade."
"Really and that is a positive how."
"It was one instead of five."
I snort, he glance at Lorna. "Hi."
She smiles. "Hi I hear taking Scott and Gabe to school can be a torturous experience."
Armando smiles. "It's still a touch and go process, you are here early."
"She gave me a ride, my car wouldn't start and I was waiting for the bus and I was freezing to death and she appeared like a knight in a shining lime green car and gave me a ride."
Armando laughs tugs on my hair and give Lorna a full on smile.
"Thanks for rescuing him from sudden death."
She laughs. "Not a problem he made me awesome coffee and feed me cookies."
"Cool. Alex gives me ten minute and you can go."
"No rush."
He kisses me again and head to the office.
She finishes off her coffee. "I guess you can ride with me to school."
"Really that would be awesome I was going to just take Armando's car."
"We are going to the same place Alex it's no problem."
"True."
A customer come in I make them a drink Loren reads her textbook. Raven come into the shop looking stunning in her winter chic coat and boots she give Lorna a sharp look and lean across the counter to kiss my cheek.
"Where did you park I didn't see your shitty car."
"It is being a bitch at home."
She smirks. "Told you to just upgrade."
"It's a classic its allowed to be temperamental once in awhile".
"You mean it's a rust bucket, where is boss man."
"Office. Can you clock in so I can get out of here I don't want to rush him."
"Fine only because you have to get you're learning on."
She glances at Lorne again but says nothing just struts off to the office.
Lorne gives me a look. "She is always something else."
"You have to get to know Raven she is really awesome underneath."
"I'm sure she is."
Raven comes out dressed for work. "Go say by to your husband."
I roll my eyes and give Lorna a smile. "I'll be right back than we can go."
I head into the office striping of my apron. "Raven clocked in I'm out of here."
He nods doesn't look up from the computer.
"Oaky than I'll see you when I get back."
He looks up. "Sorry I was thinking. Have fun at school."
I sort. "It's never fun, it's school."
He gives me a tired smile. I feel jumpy and wrong, I know I'm missing something and he's not going to just tell me.
"What's wrong Armando."
"Nothing. Just thinking."
He stands, I warp myself around him, he leans into my hold pressing his face against my hair.
"You should have called me and told me about your car."
"You where gone already the monsters need to be at school. I thought I could drive my dad's car but I couldn't find the keys."
"Do you need my keys or are you going with Lorne."
"I'm going with Lorne."
He nods pulls back. "You know you don't have to rush back right after class I have a lot of people to help out."
"Because half of Professor X's school ended up my town."
He smiles. "Not half only a hand full."
I roll my eyes. "Too many."
"You're just jealous because Bobby gets better tips than you."
"There is only room for one slacker blond boy in this shop."
He laughs and kisses me. "Go to school slacker boy."
"I'll see you later.'
He nods pushing me out the room. I grab my jacket and book bag and head out front. Sean is leaning against the counter.
"You're still here college boy shouldn't you be on your way."
"I'm leaving now and you are early do not clock in for another hour."
"You are not my boss."
"Yes I am Sean we are not having this conversation again."
"We can have it again I still don't understand the big words."
I roll my eyes and slide into my jacket.
"Let's get out for her Loren."
Raven waves. "Have fun at school honey."
I flip her off and head out into the cold.

After class we go to the bookstore coffee shop and sit in the big comfortable chair with our textbooks open in our laps.
"So will you come to the party with me tomorrow night."
"You're really not going to stop asking."
"No I am not. The last final is tomorrow it's the perfect chance to let lose, have a little fun. You always made the party back in high school."
"Fine I'll come but don't expect me to be as awesome as I was at the height of my awesomeness."
She laughs, I sip my apple cider glad to be inside and warm and sitting here with her.

I tell Armando about the party after dinner while Scott and Gabe are getting cleaned up. He gives me a look and nods.
"Don't get drunk and fall in love with a pixie."
"Oh my God forget about that."
"Never I still have the pictures."
I cover my eyes with my hands. "I will never get drunk again."
"So you keep saying."
He moves me so he can get past me to the sink. I watch him load the dishwasher. "So what do you want to do for Christmas."
He looks up from the dishwasher "You are actually remember Christmas."
"Shut up I really forgot about thanksgiving it wasn't like I was planning to forget."
"But you remember Christmas."
I bit my lip. "Christmas might be maybe I'm not saying it is, just that it might be my favorite holiday."
"The holiday that is all about buying shit is your favorite holiday even though you hate shopping and buying things and money and snow and animals and large group gathering and going to church."
"Okay shut up I said maybe."
He closes the dishwasher turns it on and come to standing in front of me, he is watching me with that focused look that scares me to pieces because it means he is seeing too much. I look away he reaches out and takes my hand in his, runs his finger over my palm.
"Which in Alex speak means you love Christmas and it's your favorite holiday ever."
"I kind of like new year too."
"Okay new year is a close second. How did you guys do Christmas."
"Regular I guess tree, presents, big dinner. What about you"
He shrugs. "It changes"
"One day very soon I'm going to tie you up and force you to answer personal questions in full sentences."
He laughs I tug him closer so I can rest my chin on his shoulder, warp my arms around his waist.
"I want a big tree."
"Okay when do you want to pick it out."
"Next week Saturday I guess."
"Okay we'll do that. Do you have decoration."
"Yes mom kept boxes of them in the attic."
"Was it her favorite holiday too?"
"Yes she always made it big and special. I wish so bad she could have met you."
He turns my head press a kiss to my temple.
"Me to Alex."
I close my eyes tight and try not to cry. I hate the sudden feeling of want that still come out of know where. I want to hear my mom laugh. I would give a lung to hear my dad say anything even scream at me.
"I'm sorry I'm being silly."
"No Alex you are being human."
I pull away wipe at my face. "I should go cheek on Scott and Gabe."
"Okay I'll finish up here."
I nod and leave the room trying to catch my breath.

The next day I take my last test of the semester I had already taken my GED test at the start of the week and had pasted so I was official a high school graduate. After my last final I head to the shop and help with the late afternoon rush. Armando kicks me out before the shop closes so I can go home and change.

I meet Lorna at her place we drive to the party together. It's at a friend of hers from math class house. When we get there the music is playing on full blast and the place is already crowded, we head to the kitchen and grab a beer. I don't know why I agreed to come to the party, two years ago I loved a good party now it just seems boring. I drink one beer than two I play a drinking game with some guys from my English class than head out back to get some air its freezing. Lorna is sitting on one of the lawn chair watching the sky I sit next to her.
"You're not loving the party."
She turns to me offering up a shy smile.
"Not really, no. I can't turn my mind off enough to enjoy it. What about you."
"About the same."
She nods sips her beer. "You are so different Alex it still shocks me. it's been months but it still shocks the shit out of me."
"How am I so different just because I can't get into a stupid party."
"No but yes."
I sip my beer. She gives my hand a tug.
"It's not bad Alex, your different, it's like you grow up. Your mom would be amazingly proud of you. I know I am."
I close my eyes and latch on to her hand. "I don't feel very grown up."
"It sneaks up on you becoming an adult but your almost there. It's not a bad thing."
"I feel like I'm faking it."
"That's how it starts you fake it till it's just real and trust me Alex you're not faking it anymore."
I sit for a moment holding her hand, the wind blows sharp and cold. "Why did you stop coming to the house."
"Because I got sick of fight you ever day, of being your sound broad for all your anger and disappoint. I felt like I was abandoning you but it hurt too much to stay and I figured it would be better for you too, if I gave you some space. Looks like I was right."
"My mom thought you were good for me. I always thought you were the girl I was going to marry, somehow, someday. Your mom always thought you were too good for me."
"I am too good for you."
I turn to look at her stunning in the moon light.
"You are too good for me."
I lift our tangled hands and rest them over my chest. She sucking in breath lets it out slowly her cheeks are flushed from the cold, her eyes are wide and so fucking open. I lean across the space between us, she lean in just enough, her lips are cold and chapped. I run my tongue over her lower lip, she parts her lips I deepen the kiss, I drop the beer on the ground so I can reach out and stroke her cheek, she sighs in to the kiss presses closer to me. And I forgot how well she kisses, how she takes her time with it. We pull apart to breath then I lean back in and kiss her.
My cell phone vibrates in my pocket I pull away and dig it out.
"Yes."
"Why do you sound pissed off."
"Gabe why are you still up it's after 1 in the morning."
"Scott had a nightmare and Armando let him sleeping in your bed and I couldn't go back to sleep and I'm hunger and I don't want to wake Armando up he's tired."
I let out a sigh rub a hand over my eyes, I want to sit back and kiss Loren for awhile longer.
"Fine Gabe I'll be home in 45 minutes please stay in bed don't try to make anything."
"Okay I'm sorry."
"It's fine Gabby I'll be there soon."
"I love you Alex."
"Me too kiddio."
I hang up the phone close my eyes.
"You have to go home."
"Ya sorry I just… Gabe needs me."
I open my eyes and look at her she smiles a soft lovely thing."
"Its fine the party was a bust."
"Ya it was."
We stand and walk out front to my car.
We don't talk on the drive to her place. I park in front her house she open the passenger side door, she sits for a moment one foot on the ground than turn to look at me.
"I hope we can hang out during the winter break."
"We will."
She smiles nods.
"Good night Alex."
"Goodnight Loren."
She climbs out the car closes the door. I sit for a moment considering the weight of her lips against mine the feel of her hand in mine. I start the car and drive home.

When I get home Gabe comes racing down the steps before I can get out of my jacket. He hugs me I tug off my jacket and lift him up.
"What's wrong monster."
"Nothing."
"You're lying Gabe what's wrong."
"I just had a dream it was stupid."
I carry him to the kitchen.
"Why didn't you wake Armando up."
"He's been up all week with Scott."
This is news to me. "Why has he been up all week with Scott?"
Gabe gives me a look I don't understand.
"Because Scott had nightmare all week, he goes and wakes Armando up and he hardly get any sleep and he looks tired and they are both finally sleeping so I couldn't wake him up it was only a stupid dream."
"It's not just a stupid dream Gabe if it scares you Armando would want you to wake him up rather than have you sit in the dark afraid out of you mind."
"I wasn't that scared."
"Scared enough you couldn't go back to sleep."
He pouts but says nothing which means I'm right. I run a hand over my face, since when did Scott not come to me first. I let Gabe eat cookies and milk while I run and take a fast shower and change into pj's. When I get back to the kitchen he's half asleep sipping on his chocolate milk. I put the plate and glass in the sink, drink a big glass of water and carry him upstairs to my room.
Half the bed is taken up with Scott and Armando but there is enough room for two more. I lay Gabe down next to Scott and stretch out in the reminding space. I rest a hand over my eyes and listen to Gabe fall sleep.

When I wake up the bed is empty. I go to the kitchen they are all there, Armando is making breakfast they are all dressed
"Where are you going?"
Gabe looks up from his chocolate milk to give me a your stupid look. Scott rolls his eyes I can't see it behind his glassed but I know he did it. Armando is the only one that actual answer me
"Work Alex, it's after 6 I have to open today."
"I want to come."
He gives me a soft smile. "oaky just hurry up and get ready."
"I'll be done in 10."
I shower, shave, brush teeth and dress fast when I get back to the kitchen breakfast is ready. I eat and watch them I feel like the outsider, they have a rhythm, the three of them and why have I not notice this before. We take Armando car in. Gabe and Scott run around putting down chairs while Armando gets things set things up, I do the pastry case. We are done with time to spare. Gabe and Scott go to the office leaving me alone with Armando. He turns on the lights in the front of the shop.
"How was the party last night? Gabe told me he made you come home early."
"What would you do if we broke up, I mean about Scott and Gabe, would you leave them behind too because I don't think they could come back from that."
He blinks frowns. "Did you fall in love with another pixie."
"No! I mean the party was fine. I was just thinking they really love you a lot and I mean if you break up with me would you break up with them."
"Why are we talking about breaking up."
"Because I need to fucking know answer the question."
"I love them Alex if we didn't work out I would still be there for them."
"How."
"You want me to make out a schedule and ask for visitation rights."
"I don't know I just need to know."
"I would want visitation right I would want them any time you would let me have them."
"Okay I mean okay just sorry."
"You want to tell me what the fuck is going on."
I look across the space between us I want to step forward and close the gap. But I don't. I can't think straight when he's too close.
"I have no idea really. I'm sorry."
"What happen at the party?"
"It wasn't the party."
"Alex." My name sound sharp and anger.
"I just have to think, can I borrow the car."
He looks at me than reaches in his pant pocket and tosses me the keys. He walks away without saying anything. I hate his passive aggressive bullshit.
I drive around for awhile before just driving to Loren house. She's up already sipping tea in her breakfast nook she pours me a cup of coffee and we sit together.
She watches me a smile in her eyes.
I rest my cup on the table. She sets her cup on the table.
"Are you going to talk Alex or just look at me.
"I have never told Armando I love him not really. I'm mean like the actual words out loud. I'm not sure if what I feel for him is love. I mean I love him just ... I'm not sure it the let's get married be together forever love. With you it was so clear I knew it had to be let's get married love. It doesn't feel the same with him."
"Are you here for me to tell you that you're in love with your boyfriend."
"No I'm here because you are shockingly the only persons I could talk to without being physical assaulted for having questions. Raven and Angel would hurt me for even doubting that I am completely and utterly in love with him."
"Maybe they are right. What made you so sure about me."
"It felt right. "
"What doesn't feel right about Armando."
"It is not that it doesn't feel right it's just all tied up in these other feeling."
"What other feeling."
I sit back take as sip of my coffee and think about this morning watching him with Scott and Gabe.
"He loves Scott and Gabe like really fucking loves them and they deserve him, because his is amazing like if there was an all most father of the year awarded he would get it every year. I feel so grateful to him for loving them and taking care of them no questions asked ever. He takes all my bullshit all the time and you know how good I am about making up bullshit."
"Yes Alex you have a talent for filling you life with bullshit."
"He wants to take care of me, he does take care of me and I feel like I owe him something and sometime I feel like maybe I only think I love him because I owe him so fucking much and he is perfect and there no reason to not love him."
She rolls her eyes and munches on a cracker "There better be a but coming up soon."
I bit my lip.
"He makes me feel safe and everything feels easy when I know he is there with me and he is fucking gorgeous and the sex is awesome, when we find the time to do it. He never makes me feel less than his partner, even when I'm acting like a whiny ten year old, even when he is laugh at me."
"So really you love him but you think in your stupid Alex brain that it must be because you owe him something."
"No, yes, maybe, help me."
She laughs and stands and pours herself more tea and move around the kitchen. She comes back with a bowl of jam and fresh baked bread.
"You are in love with Armando, Alex. Any blind, deft, dumb person would know that. When he walks into any room you light up like a nuclear reactor. He makes you calm and he makes you laugh and you always had a problem laughing Alex it's one of your biggest flaws."
"Really he makes me laughs so it must be true love."
"I never said true love you're the one that has always been looking for a fairy tale."
"I'm not."
"You are. Your parent lovely marriage ruined you for real life."
"They were not perfect."
"But you never saw that, are you telling me you see it now."
"I saw it Loren I live with them they had fights and hurt each other same as every other couple."
"But."
"What is it with you and buts."
"There is always a but with you Alex."
"But they trusted, loved and respected each other and always worked thought every problem the same day."
"So why don't you just take a page out of their book and go talk to your husband."
"He is not my fucking husband."
She sits back, eyebrow arched. "You sound anger."
"Why does everyone call him that?"
"Because he would marry you in a second if he thought you would say yes and he doesn't think you would say yes, so he won't ask."
"Why would you say that."
"Because it's the truth Alex and it's not easy for me I'm still mostly in love with you. When I saw you in that English class I thought perfect now I get a second chance, I can do it right this time. Then I went to the shop and you and Armando were standing around hang off each other and every time we go to the shop and Armando comes out the office and you get all cow eyes and he tells you something and you laugh out loud and you kiss across the counter. You have in jokes and Gabe and Scott love him. You know what that felt like? I felt split in two, I was happy for you because you always deserved someone to love you but I was heart broke because I never got over you and I had to watch you be so happy with someone who wasn't me."
"You hide it well."
"No I didn't you just weren't pay attention all you saw was Armando until this week all you saw was Armando."
"What changed this week?"
"I don't know Alex you tell me."
"Scott's been having nightmare all week I didn't know till today."
"He's been going to Armando."
"Yes."
"Does that bother you?"
"A little yes but not really, it makes me kind of glad that he has someone beside me."
She shakes her head takes a sip of her tea. "You must be dying without your mom to talk to. Who do you talk to when you get all stupid in the head?"
"Armando mostly but I can't talk to him about this."
"What are you scared of Alex that's what you have to ask yourself because you know you love him."
Before I think about it the words tumble out of my mouth. "That I'm using him, that I don't love him half as much as he love me, that I don't deserve him or this that it all a fucking dream, that he is going to realize what a shit I am and leave me. That someone better will come along and he will go."
She rolls her eyes. "Okay, well you are just as self destructive as ever."
I close my eyes and rest my head back against the wall. "I never finish those thoughts not even in my head."
"Well its good you let them out, we are on the road to progress."
"I'm sorry Lorne. I shouldn't have come here."
Her hands warps around mine I open my eyes and she is watching me eyes still calm and beautiful.
"I'm not, I'm glad you came."
"This can't be nice for you."
"It gives me peace in a very sharp painful way. I need you to be happy Alex if that make any sense to you."
"It doesn't at all."
She laughs squeeze my hand. "It doesn't have to make sense to you, it does to me."
"What should I do."
"Go tell Armando you love him and how stupid you are worrying over dumb stuff and then kiss him and ask him to marry you and to let you have his babies."
I kick her. She laughs.
"Why do I have to have the babies."
"Because obviously you have the figure for it."
"Bitch."
"Dumb fuck."
"He has to know he can do better than me."
"He only wants you Alex, stop making it so hard for him or you will scare him away."
"You make it sound easy."
"It's as easy as opening your mouth."
She stands and gathers up the cups. "Go talk to him Alex."
"That it you're just kicking me out."
"Yes go. And tell him about last night after you tell him how much you love him."
"I have to tell him about the kiss?"
"Trust remember"
"Fine I'll tell him."
I stand and pull her into a hug I bury my face in her hair inhale the wonderful smell of her she hugs me back hard pressing a kiss to my cheek.
"I love you Alex Summers."
"I love you Loren Dane."
She smiles wipes at her eyes and push me toward the door.
"Go get you happily ever after."
"We are still going to hang out right."
She laughs "Yes friends forever, silly boy go."
So I leave her there in her neat house with her soft smile and go out into the cold. I drive around for over an hour thinking about what I said to Lorne, what she said to me. About waking up every morning with Armando warped around me, about warm perfect moments the kind I thought I would never have again. I drive back to the shop.

When I get in Raven is behind the counter reading a magazine, the place is mostly empty. It's a Saturday morning and there is a threat of a snowstorm I don't think it's going to be busy today.
Raven looks up from her magazine and gives me a filthy look.
"Oh look who came back."
"Where is Armando."
"I don't know he took off somewhere, the brats are in the office playing a game oblivious to the fact that you are breaking up there new family for a green haired floozy."
I laugh and lean across the counter pressing a kiss to Raven cheek.
"I was thinking I should ask Armando to marry me."
She screams loudly and drag me into a hug so tight I have to fight free of it to catch my breath.
"Don't say a word to anyone."
She claps her hands together. "Of course I won't. I can't wait, can it be a summer wedding can I be your best man."
"You're a girl Raven."
"So it can still work."
"I was kind of thinking Scott would be my best man."
She screams again and hugs me. "That is so precious you're so precious. I'll be one of the groom women."
"Armando might not even say yes."
She pinches my cheek. "You are so precious stupid but precious. Go find him now."
"Which way did he walk."
"Right, go to park he likes the park when its empty.
"Thanks don't say a word I don't have a ring yet."
"Can I go with you to pick it out?"
"Maybe if you're good."
She rolls her eyes. "Just get out of here don't come back till you find boss man."
I wave and head out to the park.
He's not at the park so I wander around. It's fucking cold and it starts snowing. I go back to the shop. Raven gives me a dirty look.
"He is not there I can't find him."
"Try harder."
I dig out my cell phone and call him. He doesn't answer. I take the car and drive around I have no idea where he would go when he pissed at me. I go home. The house is empty but he is there in the backyard smoking a cigarette and playing with the dogs.
"How did you get home."
He looks up from his game of tug of war with Erin, cigarette hanging out the side of his mouth.
"I took the bus."
"It's fucking freezing."
He looks up at the sky and shrugs. "I don't feel it."
"Your mutant powers kicked in."
He shrugs.
I rub my hands together suddenly very cold. "Can we go inside and talk because my balls are freezing off."
He stand puts out his cigarette in the snow and leads the dogs into the house. I strip of my coat and go to the living room which is awesomely warm. I kick off my shoes and curl up on the sofa pulling the afghan around me. He sits on the coffee table across from me a faint smile on his face.
"You warm enough."
"Yes mostly but you can come sit next to me"
He shakes his head. "I'm good"
"I kissed Lorena last night. She told me to tell you that after I told you how much I loved you but I figured you already knew I did something because you read me like a book."
"I knew you kissed her I thought you would have done it sooner or later."
"I'm sorry I did it at all because I'm stupid and I kind of still love her and I guess I will always love her, she was my big high school love."
"I know Scott told me in detail how stupid you were about her."
"He needs to keep his stupid mouth shut."
"It's fine Alex."
"No its not I wanted to tell you stuff myself."
"You can still tell me. So you love her."
"Yes, no. I loved her but still kind of do but I really really love you and it scares me because I'm apparently stupid and self destructive."
"Lorne told you this."
"Yes she counseled me with tea and biscuits and bread with jam."
He smirks at me. "Okay."
"I keep thinking one day you're going to wake up and realize I'm kind of a loser and you will leave for some awesomely hot super smart calm normal person without kids who is going to walk into the shop and catch your eye and you'll realize you love them more and leave."
"So basically you think am an asshole."
"No I think you perfect but it's just….. Shut up."
"Alex I told you I love you. I don't tell anybody I fucking love them. I don't just love every person I think is pretty. In case you were wondering yes I have hang ups and irrational fears it comes from having a fucked up childhood but I understand that those stupid fears shouldn't standing in the way of what makes me happy and you make me happy when you're not being brain damaged. So ignorer the stupid fear. You seem to be incapable of not letting fear rule every fucking thing you do."
"Can you shut up please I'm trying to say I love and I want to be with you forever and if you would maybe consider marrying me."
He blinks than blinks again.
"Say yes Armando before I die."
"Yes of course it's yes Alex."
I let out a shaky breath "Okay."
He crosses the space between us and kisses me I pull him till we are a tangled mess on the sofa and that is good because it means yes and yes and yes.
I press a kiss to his mouth. "I don't have ring."
His hand move down to my hip. "Don't need one."
"I love you."
He kisses my eyes lids, the tip of nose, my mouth and chin
"Keep saying it Alex."
"I love you, I love you, I love you."
"Good boy."
I laugh and push at his shirt, he gets the message and tugs it off.

We fall asleep on the sofa naked and sticky. We wake hours later to the front door slamming shut. He sits up, I sit up with him, tugging the afghan around us. Scott comes into the living room followed by Gabe.
"You forgot about us to have sex."
They both look impossible sad.
Armando runs a hand over his face. "I'm so sorry brats who brought you home."
Scott gives us a filthy unhappy look. "Raven she played crappy music in the car."
I bit my lip to hold back laughter.
Gabe stumbles out his coat and shoes. Scott tugs off his coat and shoes.
"Raven said you had something very important to tell us. It just looks like you wanted to have kinky sex in the living room."
I roll my eyes and lean around Armando.
"We are getting married."
Gabe screams yes and races across the room jumping on top of Armando who catches him and sit him in his lap. Scott tries to be reserved about it but I roll my eyes and wave him forward he hugs me tight and climb on the sofa.
"You guys are naked under the afghan aren't you.
"Yes we are."
"You're both filthy beast."
I laugh and press a kiss to his hair.
Scott and Gabe leave the room so we can dressed and make dinner. I move around the kitchen helping Armando, I look up and find him watching me.
"What."
"You look happy."
I laugh "That's because I am happy."
"Good." He pulls me in for a kiss.

Epilogue

Spring
We get married in the spring. I don't want to make it a big thing but Raven wants a big thing. So of course it becomes a huge thing. She spent months being a crazy controlling bitch and no one tries to stop her. Armando gives her leeway and credit cards. Right after the craziness of finals I find myself stuffed into a tux and shoved down the aisle of a huge church walking toward Armando who gives me a slow perfect smile and that makes it all worth it. The reception is held at the mansion than we head off to New York City for a week of being tourist. The plan had been to leave Gabe and Scott at the mansion but I can't bring myself to leave them behind. So we end up getting a suite and giving them their own room. Me and Armando take another room, in between is a whole living room not that it stops them from hurling into our room at an ungodly time of the morning with too much energy, excitement and demands.
I roll over groan and press my face into the pillow
"Monsters, for the love of fuck I'm try to sleep than I want to fuck than sleep some more, this is my honeymoon you little fuckers."
They are jumping on the bed. Armando sits up and does something because than there is no more jumping but there is a lot of giggling. I curl in to a ball and moan loudly. Someone smacks my ass than Armando is talking.
"Time to get up Alex breakfast."
"Fuck food, I want sex."
Gabe laughs, Scott snorts, Armando presses a kiss to my shoulder.
"Later I promise."
I shove off the pillow and glare hate at my vile little brothers.
"Why did I ever feel bad about leaving you fucker behind? I should have left you with Raven and her shitty playlist you minion of Satan."
They stick their tongue out at me and cuddle up to Armando who kisses the top of their heads.
"Oaky brats out so we can get dress."
Gabe looks up at Armando all wide eyes and sweet looks.
"You won't take long right."
"Five minutes promise."
Gabe presses a kiss to Armando cheek, than hurls himself off the side of the bed, Scott follows they race out the room leaving the door open. I roll my eyes and fall back into my pillows.
"I hate them so much."
"You love them too much, come on get up."

We go to breakfast at a café Gabe found our first day in the city. At breakfast Scott break out his guidebook. He shoves a muffin in his mouth and points at another museum. Gabe shakes his head and shoves a chocolate muffin in his mouth. Armando gives him a serious look.
"Do not talk with all that food in your mouth Gabe."
Gabe chews faster, Scott finishes chewing first.
"We should go to the Met today."
Gabe moans around his half chewed muffin, Armando sip his tea, he turns the book to face him, looks over the page Scott is pointing to. I finish off my coffee and snatch the guidebook from under their hands.
"We are going to fucking Toy R Us today, I'm going to ride the fucking fairest wheel."
Gabe flings his arms in the air and cheers, food tumble out his mouth. I smirk, Armando frowns. Scott gives me a serious look.
"You curse way too much Alex."
"And I still won this argument bitches."
I shove my chocolate muffin into my mouth. Armando tilts his head down but not before I catch the smile on his face. He helps Gabe dust off his tee shirt. Scott sighs long and furlong, I shove his dame guidebook in my book bag.

We go to Toy R Us, Gabe eyes go wide with joy. He grabs Scott hand and starts to drag him off. Armando stops them with a hand on each of their shoulders, he turns them to face us. He's got the serious face on; Gabe and Scott look up at him all patient and adoring.
"You keep your cells on, you talk to no one, not even any smiling sales associate, anyone bothers you come find us right away, You have one hour than we meet back here."
They nod.
"No fighting with each other or anyone else, got it."
They nod.
"Good."
He let them go. Scott lets Gabe grab his hand and drag him toward the up escalator. Armando turns to look at me.
"You seriously wanted to come to a toy store.
"Fuck yes."
I grab his hand and drag him toward the down escalator.
I play the video game on the lower leave kick some kids ass, find two new games for myself, it's been ages since I picked out game for myself instead of the brats. I drag him upstairs. We look around before heading for the action figures. I use to collect them when I was Scott age but I stopped when I got to high school, to cool for toys and all that. My dad keep all my action figures in a box I found it in his office when I cleaned it out. Armando stands next to me arm around my waist.
"What are you thinking about."
"Begin a kid."
I turn to look at him, he has that soft look on his face that makes me feel young and stupid. I lean in kiss him, he gives my waist a squeeze.
"Do you want any of them?"
"No I just wanted to look, come on it's been an hour."
He lets me lead him away.
Scott and Gabe are waiting for us arms full of toy big smiles on their faces. Armando doesn't ask questions just lead us to checkout. We had a big fight our first night in New York about him spending money on us, he won. Honeymoon rules he can buys whatever the fuck he wants and we just have to deal with it. We go back to the hotel, drop the toys off than we go in search of comic book stores. For lunch we go to Dave and Buster were I kick Armando ass in three different video games, then it's off to find ice cream. We manage to stay away from any place resembling educational all day, Scott doesn't even notice. The brats pass out before I can get them in the shower which is fine with me. Armando drags me off to the shower. We fall into our bed, I shove him on his back, slide his dick in to me. It's a perfect end to an awesome day.

We go back home to life, growth, change, discover, defining us, redefining us, it's never the same for long, we learn each other, love each other, relearn each other, reshape each other, always at the center, love, unconditional love, family, always family.