Jhomanji
This story is beta'd by… I forgot. It was a year ago, and my brain has degenerated into a slobbering mass of gooey pink since then due to a healthy mix of candy and heroin. If you are the beta-er of this story, please tell me so I can credit you.
This is a really boring preview of a story I've been working on for a very long time. I'm updating it now because, muahahaha, I haven't updated in about, oh, 2,500,000 years, give or take a minute. It's funny, that red squiggly line just appeared under the muahahaha and thought I had misspelled marijuana. And that's funny because it's marijuana.
…don't do marijuana.
So anyway! Enjoy. Or don't. You probably won't, the intro to this story is excruciatingly boring, along with the next five chapters after that. But THEN IT GETS SEXY HOTTNESS BUYEAH!1!11!1112!!!! –is dead now-
Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim or JTHM.
Chapter One
It was 1869. They had driven their horse as far as they could. They were in the middle of a wood they didn't even know the name of. They didn't bother thinking about how they were ever going to get out of there, because only one thing was on their minds.
The two boys stopped their horse at the top of a hill and got out the shovels they had brought with them. Dragging the shovels over to a spot next to a tree, they began to dig the deepest hole they'd ever dug. Sweat dripped from their bodies. By the time they were done, their clothes were coated in dirt and their limbs were aching. But they ignored the pain. They had a job to do.
Lifting their lanterns, the brothers walked back to their horse. They lifted the sheet concealing it. A chest, padlocked a thousand times at least.
Bessie, the horse, snorted. Almost as if it sensed their fear. A wolf howled and made one of the boys jump. Terror pounded through his veins. It was happening again. He just knew it.
"Don't worry, it's just a pack of wolves. Come on. We're almost rid of it," his brother reassured him.
The other boy sighed. It was true. After all, they weren't playing anymore. It couldn't do anything to them... right?
They carried the bulky trunk all the way over to the hole they dug. They set it in and began to fill it back up with dirt.
One of the boys stopped suddenly, eyes wide. "Do you hear that?"
The other boy's heart clenched in fear. "Just keep burying it, Benjamin. It's just trying to get you to stop burying it."
Not completely reassured, Benjamin continued dumping dirt back on top of the chest.
But then it got louder.
The noise was a rhythm. A deathly, futuristic war hymn from HELL, and it was getting louder. BUDDUH DUM DUM DUM BUDDUH DUM DUM DUM BUDDUH DUM DUM DUM DUM DUM DUH—
Benjamin freaked. "CALEB, IT'S AFTER ME!" In his desperate struggle to get away, Benjamin fell in the hole. Now he was really screaming.
"Grab on!"
Benjamin reached desperately for his brother's hand as he pulled him up. But as soon as he was on the ground again, he tried to scamper away. "RUN! RUN!!"
But Caleb grabbed him before he could get too far. "No, Benjamin." He said seriously. "We have to finish this. Come on. Help me bury it."
Benjamin looked up at his older brother in fear. "What if someone digs it up?"
Caleb suddenly became very grave. "May God have mercy on his soul."
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Far, far away, in an alternate universe, that very same hymn was playing on someone's TV.
"OH MY GOD!!! IT'S ON!!!" screeched a psychotic thirteen-year-old wearing a GIR T-shirt. And slippers. And underwear.
"YAAAAAAAAAH!!!" yelled her best friend who had just smashed herself into the living room, nearly humping the TV screen. "My life is NOW COMPLETE!!"
"How could ANYTHING bad ever come from the Invader Zim theme song? It is like seriously the only one good wholesome thing that ever went right in this world."
"I know, right?!"