I know her.
I know her name. It's vague to tell what type of person she could be. Yes, I know that she's nice but she never said hello to me, at least not really. But I did always want to say hello, maybe it would be nice to see if we could be friends.
I greet her.
I greet her with a smile. She returns it. It tells me right away that she is a very nice person. The vibe I feel tells me to try to make her smile more. Maybe she likes hugs. I offer one to her. She surprisingly accepts.
I hug her.
I hug her nicely. She returns with the feeling of friendship, and I'm happy it's there. But I then thought about how it felt warm. Very warm. Much more then it usually is for me. It's not a friend hug...it's different. But then, it's over in an instant. I snap back into reality and smile. She smiles and walks away. I'm happy. Very happy.
I talk to her.
I talk to her when she sends me a message. It's one that confused me until I find out it her. I smile at my phone. She wants to talk to me. I want to talk to her. I want to know about her. I start talking to her and realized that she is amazingly similar to me. I smile widely at the screen as the conversation continued. Then I have a thought.
I thought about her.
I thought about her being with me. Or at the very least a date. That thought hits me harder then it ever has. I just met this girl, by the looks of her she couldn't possibly not be dating someone, I never would have a chance. I get nervous, and timidly ask if she is dating anyone. I regret sending it as soon as I hit send, wondering if that was too personal, or that she knows that I like her now. Then it hits me. I like her now. Really like her. She then replies with a no and I cheer, even with the looks of others around me.
I think of her.
I think of her being with me. I think of all the games we would play, all of the smiles we would give each other, all of the laughing and the fun. I think I have a shot with her. I start to smile, but then doubt myself. She's one in a million. She is beautiful beyond compare, nice to the evil, sweet to the sour. She is out of my league. That thought circled my mind, until I got another text. She sends a smile, and I then realize I must try.
I try for her.
I try for her to be with me. I want to know her more, and try to be friends with her. I try to know things about her and remember them. Then I her about her thinking about asking someone out. I have a mini panick. Who could it be to win the affection of the girl I crush on? I knew I crushed on her hard. She talks about her nice and sweet he is. And how kind and how she makes him feel. My heart drops. But I became determined. If I can't be with this girl, I'll make her happy. That became my goal. I then became confused. Why is that my goal? I didn't know. I still tried. I wanted to be a friend. I invite her to see a movie. I then realize that isn't very friendly, more boyfriendly. She says yes.
I cheer.
I cheer that I get to spend time with her.
I didn't know why.
She meets me there.
She meets me there with a smile so nice that it outshines anything else in the room. I then tell myself that we could only be friends, my heart screaming something I chose to ignore. I walk with her to the movie, smiling and laughing. I felt so calm and nice to be with her. It felt right. It felt real.
When I sit down I couldn't hold it in anymore. I had to know. I had to know if I had a chance with the girl I liked. I say that if the other guy doesn't work, I want to try. I then realize that was a terrible thing to say. Who says that? Now she will think I'm weird and never talk to me again.
Then...
She says the guy was me.
At first all I felt was shock. Me? Plain old me? I ask if she meant that, she says yes. She smiles. I smile too. I was extremely happy. That started many other dates.
Every date was special, the more I learned about her, the more I want to be with her, to this day. Feeling the heart of every smile. The realness of every hug, how she would come across the room to hug me and me alone because she wanted to. The heart I felt. And holding her tightly for a while, like no one was there, it was just us and the universe.
I knew I loved her then.
I never dealt with love. And I'm still learning as I go. But I know that my dream girl beside me will make me never doubt it.